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How to Talk about Jesus (Without Being That Guy): Personal Evangelism in a Skeptical World
Most Christians know they should be trying to tell their friends and family about Jesus. But in a post-Christendom world, personal evangelism is viewed negatively--it's offensive, inappropriate, and insensitive. Recent studies confirm that the majority of Christians rarely evangelize, worried they might offend their family or lose their friends. In How to Talk About Jesus (Without Being That Guy) , author Sam Chan equips everyday Christians who are reluctant and nervous to tell their friends about Jesus with practical, tested ways of sharing their faith in the least awkward ways possible. Drawing from over two decades of experience as an evangelist, teacher, and pastor, Chan explains why personal evangelism feels so awkward today. And utilizing recent insights from communication theory, cross-cultural ministry, and apologetics, he helps you build confidence in sharing your faith, and teaches you how to evangelize your friends and family in socially appropriate ways.
176 pages, Paperback
First published November 3, 2020
179 people are currently reading
772 people want to read
About the author
Sam Chan
15 books28 followersSam Chan (PhD, Trinity Evangelical Divinity School; MD, University of Sydney) is a public evangelist with City Bible Forum in Sydney, Australia where he regularly shares the gospel with high school students, city workers, doctors, and lawyers. He speaks at conferences around the world on the topics of ethics, story-telling, apologetics, and the practice of evangelism in a post-Christian culture. Sam blogs at espressotheology.com.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 173 reviews
January 26, 2023
My friend Sarah Mayes recommended this book to me last year, maybe because she thought I was being “that guy” 🤪.
I’ve read a few books about evangelism, and oftentimes I feel they all try to say pretty much the same thing in slightly different ways. This book does not do that. I took away things from this book that I haven’t come across elsewhere and I thought Chan’s discussion on personal evangelism was concise yet covered all bases.
Chan gives a helpful remodelling to “personal” evangelism, arguing that evangelism often works better when done “in groups” rather than one Christian in a giant room of people. He helps the reader navigate through the expected conversations at coffees and dinner invites. He also gives useful examples of apologetic questions to ask and how to get to the fundamental reason for an individual’s unbelief.
All in all a great book which every Christian who wants to be better equipped for evangelism should consider reading!
I’ve read a few books about evangelism, and oftentimes I feel they all try to say pretty much the same thing in slightly different ways. This book does not do that. I took away things from this book that I haven’t come across elsewhere and I thought Chan’s discussion on personal evangelism was concise yet covered all bases.
Chan gives a helpful remodelling to “personal” evangelism, arguing that evangelism often works better when done “in groups” rather than one Christian in a giant room of people. He helps the reader navigate through the expected conversations at coffees and dinner invites. He also gives useful examples of apologetic questions to ask and how to get to the fundamental reason for an individual’s unbelief.
All in all a great book which every Christian who wants to be better equipped for evangelism should consider reading!
June 9, 2023
100% recommend!!
November 26, 2021
I loved Sams other book (evangelism in a skeptical world), and I love this one too. It gives us eight simple tips for sharing the gospel with our friends. Most of the tips are about living in society, being Jesus, and taking the opportunities we are given. In many senses, it is common sense, but Sam gives us confidence to step out in faith. Brilliant.
May 26, 2023
As soon as I finished it I wanted to read it again.
August 5, 2024
I found this brief book really helpful and challenging. Chan has written a larger more academic work called Evangelism in a Skeptical World, but he would say that book was written more for “professional evangelists,” aka paid Christian ministers. This book is written for everyday Christians living out their faith in the everyday stuff of life. While evangelism might be viewed generally in a negative light today, Chan wants to reminds his readers that it is expected of and commanded of every Christian. And he works to show that it’s possible to share Jesus with your neighbors “without being that guy.”
He frames the book around 8 evangelism tips that are highly relational, practical, and intentional. I will definitely be using this book as a resource with church members moving forward. I left the book convicted of my own lack of personal evangelism in this season of life.
He frames the book around 8 evangelism tips that are highly relational, practical, and intentional. I will definitely be using this book as a resource with church members moving forward. I left the book convicted of my own lack of personal evangelism in this season of life.
November 5, 2020
Most people come to Jesus because of the witness of family or friends. Ordinary believers, then, make the best evangelists. In this book, Simon Chan offers eight tips for effective personal evangelism, which center on building friendships and living authentically. “In addition to our deliberate efforts to do evangelism—to create opportunities for evangelism—we just need to be Jesus, and evangelism opportunities may well come and find us in unforeseen and exciting ways.” A useful book for church members…and pastors too!
Here are the chapter titles and subtitles, which summarize Chan’s eight tips:
1. Merge your universes: Evangelism is a lifestyle choice.
2. Go to their things, and they will come to your things.
3. Coffee, dinner, gospel: Find creative ways to do hospitality.
4. Listen: The Golden Rule of Evangelism: Evangelize the same way you want to be evangelized.
5. Tell a better story: Make them wish that Christianity is true.
6. Tell them stories about Jesus: Scratch their itching ears with Jesus.
7. Become their unofficial, de facto chaplain: You are their connection with the sacred.
8. Lean into disagreement: For such a time as this.
Chan is also author of the seminary textbook, Evangelism in a Skeptical World: How to Make the Unbelievable News about Jesus More Believable (Zondervan, 2018). That book focuses more on how pastors can do evangelism.
Book Reviewed
Sam Chan, How to Talk About Jesus (Without Being That Guy): Personal Evangelism in a Skeptical World (Grand Rapids, MI: Zondervan, 2020).
P.S. If you liked my review, please click "Helpful" on my Amazon review page.
Here are the chapter titles and subtitles, which summarize Chan’s eight tips:
1. Merge your universes: Evangelism is a lifestyle choice.
2. Go to their things, and they will come to your things.
3. Coffee, dinner, gospel: Find creative ways to do hospitality.
4. Listen: The Golden Rule of Evangelism: Evangelize the same way you want to be evangelized.
5. Tell a better story: Make them wish that Christianity is true.
6. Tell them stories about Jesus: Scratch their itching ears with Jesus.
7. Become their unofficial, de facto chaplain: You are their connection with the sacred.
8. Lean into disagreement: For such a time as this.
Chan is also author of the seminary textbook, Evangelism in a Skeptical World: How to Make the Unbelievable News about Jesus More Believable (Zondervan, 2018). That book focuses more on how pastors can do evangelism.
Book Reviewed
Sam Chan, How to Talk About Jesus (Without Being That Guy): Personal Evangelism in a Skeptical World (Grand Rapids, MI: Zondervan, 2020).
P.S. If you liked my review, please click "Helpful" on my Amazon review page.
August 18, 2024
Rec’d to me from a couple who literally lives the principles of this book. Easy to digest and so helpful. I will be recommending this to others and purchasing a hard copy for future reference.
June 4, 2024
“We should just go out there and be Jesus to the community.”
May 24, 2023
Excellent book. Great ideas in how to share the gospel with friends without being a bible basher.
October 29, 2020
I have massively appreciated Sam Chan as an evangelist and a trainer of others in evangelism and was thoroughly excited to get into this book. It didn't disappoint.
Sam's other book, Evangelism in a Skeptical World, is primarily pitched at ministers doing public evangelism. This book follows a very similar approach (and uses some of the same examples) but is much less technical and pitched at everyday Christians engaged in conversational evangelism.
The early chapters focus on building relationships with non-believers, and creating contexts in which issues of faith can be discussed. The later chapters focus on some key skills, including the value of asking God questions and addressing friends where they're at.
The whole book is less than 180 pages long and an easy read. I'm excited to think of individual Christians (and whole churches) that might read it. I am convinced that there is quite a lot of spiritual openness at present in post-Christian cultures, and Sam Chan's approach will help us to more adequately be able to share our hope in Jesus.
Sam's other book, Evangelism in a Skeptical World, is primarily pitched at ministers doing public evangelism. This book follows a very similar approach (and uses some of the same examples) but is much less technical and pitched at everyday Christians engaged in conversational evangelism.
The early chapters focus on building relationships with non-believers, and creating contexts in which issues of faith can be discussed. The later chapters focus on some key skills, including the value of asking God questions and addressing friends where they're at.
The whole book is less than 180 pages long and an easy read. I'm excited to think of individual Christians (and whole churches) that might read it. I am convinced that there is quite a lot of spiritual openness at present in post-Christian cultures, and Sam Chan's approach will help us to more adequately be able to share our hope in Jesus.
August 8, 2021
Jeg elsker folk som har et hjerte for evangelisering og som ønsker å oppmuntre andre til å dele evangeliet om Jesus.
Det å skrive en bok om evangelisering er vanskelig fordi evangelisering er nesten som sjakk: hvordan man bør spille avhenger av hvordan brettet ser ut. Hvordan man bør snakke om tro avhenger av hvem man er, hvor godt man kjenner personen man snakker til og hva vedkommende faktisk er interessert i. Men på samme måte som at man faktisk KAN skrive bøker om hvordan man bør spille sjakk på generell basis, kan man også skrive om evangelisering på generell basis - og her gjør Chan en fin jobb.
Det er fint å lese en bok og bli oppmuntret til å dele evangeliet. Mange gode poenger; spesielt i fra starten av boken. Men generelt sett synes jeg boka har veldig mange toppunkter og mange poeng jeg bare ikke klarer å se at fungerer i det virkelige livet. På noen punkter er boken veldig velartikulert og innsiktsfullt, på andre punkter nokså simpel og lite grundig.
Til syvende og sist er jeg glad for å ha lest denne boken som oppmuntrer til at det siste Jesus oppfordrer oss til (misjonsbefalingen), burde være vår første prioritet.
Det å skrive en bok om evangelisering er vanskelig fordi evangelisering er nesten som sjakk: hvordan man bør spille avhenger av hvordan brettet ser ut. Hvordan man bør snakke om tro avhenger av hvem man er, hvor godt man kjenner personen man snakker til og hva vedkommende faktisk er interessert i. Men på samme måte som at man faktisk KAN skrive bøker om hvordan man bør spille sjakk på generell basis, kan man også skrive om evangelisering på generell basis - og her gjør Chan en fin jobb.
Det er fint å lese en bok og bli oppmuntret til å dele evangeliet. Mange gode poenger; spesielt i fra starten av boken. Men generelt sett synes jeg boka har veldig mange toppunkter og mange poeng jeg bare ikke klarer å se at fungerer i det virkelige livet. På noen punkter er boken veldig velartikulert og innsiktsfullt, på andre punkter nokså simpel og lite grundig.
Til syvende og sist er jeg glad for å ha lest denne boken som oppmuntrer til at det siste Jesus oppfordrer oss til (misjonsbefalingen), burde være vår første prioritet.
November 24, 2024
Evangelism is something I was always too afraid to try, but God has challenged me with some opportunities this semester with one of my classmates.
This short book has very practical tips on sharing your faith naturally without being awkward or pushy. Sam emphasizes building a relationship with non-Christian friends by showing up to their events, listening to them, and showing them hospitality. This then invites them to reciprocate and gives you a chance to naturally share your beliefs and present Jesus as the better way.
Other interesting pointers included introducing my non-Christian friends to Christian friends, and becoming their "de facto unofficial chaplain" when they face struggles. I also liked the explanation about sharing the gospel from different angles to reach both pre- and post-Christian worldviews.
I learned that evangelism is less about apologetics, debate, and argument, and more about loving your neighbor and living out your faith in action.
This short book has very practical tips on sharing your faith naturally without being awkward or pushy. Sam emphasizes building a relationship with non-Christian friends by showing up to their events, listening to them, and showing them hospitality. This then invites them to reciprocate and gives you a chance to naturally share your beliefs and present Jesus as the better way.
Other interesting pointers included introducing my non-Christian friends to Christian friends, and becoming their "de facto unofficial chaplain" when they face struggles. I also liked the explanation about sharing the gospel from different angles to reach both pre- and post-Christian worldviews.
I learned that evangelism is less about apologetics, debate, and argument, and more about loving your neighbor and living out your faith in action.
February 15, 2021
HTTAJ is absolutely crammed full of wisdom about how Christians can share their faith with friends, family, colleagues, neighbours, and make sure that the gospel gets a good airing. This isn’t a book about what the gospel is or the reasons why Christians should evangelise, or even how God works in our evangelistic efforts. There is very little reflection on what the Bible has to say about evangelism in HTTAJ. Instead, it’s a book of tips and wisdom and insights about personal evangelism told in an engaging, breezy style. None of the tips are game-changers, but they’re all sensible pointers for thinking through how we can be good friends with non-Christians so that we can share the greatest news with them.
That said, this wouldn’t be the first book I give most people. Sam Chan is a huge extrovert (no matter how much he protests) and is constantly sharing anecdotes about a BBQ he hosted for the neighbourhood, or a passenger he was chatting to on the plane, an Uber driver he got talking with, or that friend he led to Christ. As good as a storyteller Chan is, he is equally intimidating as an evangelist.
I think the book would also have been improved, with a wider reflection on applying the principles in other settings. It’s often very middle class: remembering how he became a surgeon, or how he takes friends out to dinner and pays for them, or manicures his lawn so that his neighbours will admire it.
With those caveats in place, I’d certainly commend How to Talk About Jesus as both an apologetic for and cheat-sheet guide to personal evangelism in the 21st century.
That said, this wouldn’t be the first book I give most people. Sam Chan is a huge extrovert (no matter how much he protests) and is constantly sharing anecdotes about a BBQ he hosted for the neighbourhood, or a passenger he was chatting to on the plane, an Uber driver he got talking with, or that friend he led to Christ. As good as a storyteller Chan is, he is equally intimidating as an evangelist.
I think the book would also have been improved, with a wider reflection on applying the principles in other settings. It’s often very middle class: remembering how he became a surgeon, or how he takes friends out to dinner and pays for them, or manicures his lawn so that his neighbours will admire it.
With those caveats in place, I’d certainly commend How to Talk About Jesus as both an apologetic for and cheat-sheet guide to personal evangelism in the 21st century.
March 6, 2024
Another great book on evangelism, with some excellent pragmatic advice on sharing Jesus with others. Chan builds on Rico Tice's cultural analysis that we have moved from a "Christianised" culture, to one that has key “defeater beliefs” (e.g. “What about other religions? What about science? What about evil”), to now seeing Christianity as culturally irrelevant. He identifies that personal evangelism, having friendships and social circles that include both Christians and non-Christians, and speaking relevant and clear words about Jesus in opportune moments are the most natural and effective ways to invite others to share our faith. Tips like moving discussions from Interests -> Values -> Worldview, listening and speaking, telling a better story (about Jesus), being a "de facto" chaplain, and learning to disagree well feel very achievable and useful. Recommended reading
October 14, 2021
Best book on evangelism I've ever read. Accessible for anyone to read and feel like you can do - not giving big and scary tasks like some books. Such a joy to read! And so relevant for a postmodern world.
November 18, 2023
This book was sent to me by a friend and mentor of mine, and once I started reading it, I realized why he sent it to me. This book is profoundly helpful in articulating nuisances of sharing the gospel in today’s world. The power of questions and listening goes far beyond our natural tendency to talk and making things about ourself. I recommend reading this book if you are a Christian and desire to share the gospel even just a little.
August 10, 2024
love love love! such a good read - easy to follow and super practical. i think i find it most difficult knowing what questions to ask people or how to phrase them but for me, the most helpful part of the book was actually having plenty of example questions that can be used in conversation with people!
December 20, 2024
A good, practical book about sharing Jesus in your daily life. Would recommend it to anyone who is struggling to have that first conversation with a friend or coworker who you want to share Jesus with.
January 10, 2023
I was really excited to read this, as I am always wanting to learn more about evangelism as I am not naturally gifted in it, and because this book is so practical.
I had just graduated uni when I read it as part of a small group book discussion with other students/recent graduates but I don't think that age group is the best demographic for this book. The main message I took from this was "if you go to their things, they'll come to your things" but unfortunately to attend "their things" in this demographic is to go out drinking etc., so I found the examples difficult to relate to since they were all based around young families and above.
Still a great book that I'd love to revisit in 10-20 years when it's more applicable to my demographic!
I had just graduated uni when I read it as part of a small group book discussion with other students/recent graduates but I don't think that age group is the best demographic for this book. The main message I took from this was "if you go to their things, they'll come to your things" but unfortunately to attend "their things" in this demographic is to go out drinking etc., so I found the examples difficult to relate to since they were all based around young families and above.
Still a great book that I'd love to revisit in 10-20 years when it's more applicable to my demographic!
June 16, 2023
Really enjoyed this. Definitely a book I'll be coming back to.
January 11, 2024
Really culturally relevant, helpful advice that doesn’t feel scary or overwhelming!
April 18, 2024
Definitely one of the best books of evangelism I’ve read in a while. Based on the principles laid out in ‘Evangelism in a skeptical world’ - highly practical and easy to read.
March 9, 2024
what a gift! I commend this book to every australian christian.
February 20, 2025
Probably a 4.5/5
Approachable, easy to read, and whilst it's dripping in the gospel message, it never feels like it's self justifying by just throwing a few extra Bible verses at you for "good measure".
Very well worth a read. And for any individual struggling with how to evangelise practically and genuinely.... it's a must read.
Approachable, easy to read, and whilst it's dripping in the gospel message, it never feels like it's self justifying by just throwing a few extra Bible verses at you for "good measure".
Very well worth a read. And for any individual struggling with how to evangelise practically and genuinely.... it's a must read.
August 12, 2024
Someone else mentioned this in their review, but this book is different from most of the evangelism books out there. It is incredibly practical and oozes grace. Very entertaining and easy to read, but worth your time to go back and apply. I know I will be us in this in years to come!
June 4, 2024
super helpful! So many practical tips to return to.
July 6, 2021
This is a great book for those who are looking to make their everyday life more missional. It is super accessible for everyone, no matter what life context you are in. Is easy to read with simple language, but still great insights. Gives practical tips to talking about Jesus without distancing yourself from people. Especially within familial relationships, which can often be the hardest place to share your faith. This is not a ministry instruction book, it’s a “live for Jesus” book. All Christians are called to live missional lives, and we should not shirk away from this responsibly. Be a faithful representative of Jesus!
What I liked… Much more simple and light compared to EiaSW (Evangelism in a Skeptical World by Sam Chan). Is accessible to people not in full time ministry. Also talks about doing life in a missional way, which is always a super helpful approach.
What I didn't like… Really didn’t didn’t like anything about it. Super accessible while still being super relevant and insightful.
What I learned… Pretty similar to EiaSW but in a way that is helpful to summarise to other people.
What I liked… Much more simple and light compared to EiaSW (Evangelism in a Skeptical World by Sam Chan). Is accessible to people not in full time ministry. Also talks about doing life in a missional way, which is always a super helpful approach.
What I didn't like… Really didn’t didn’t like anything about it. Super accessible while still being super relevant and insightful.
What I learned… Pretty similar to EiaSW but in a way that is helpful to summarise to other people.
November 25, 2020
I give Sam’s book a 9.5 out of 10. Why? It does what it promises to do. It helps you talk about Jesus without being THAT guy.
My favourite chapters were #4 “Listen (The Golden Rule of Evangelism: Evangelise the Same Way You Want to be Evangelised” and #7 Become Their Unofficial, De Facto Chaplain (You Are Their Connection With The Sacred).
Good outreach isn’t vomiting the Gospel onto your friend’s shirt. Sam (a true practitioner) shows the rest of us how to do it in a long term, low key and relational way. (I’ve already taken my Young Adults group through half of it).
My favourite chapters were #4 “Listen (The Golden Rule of Evangelism: Evangelise the Same Way You Want to be Evangelised” and #7 Become Their Unofficial, De Facto Chaplain (You Are Their Connection With The Sacred).
Good outreach isn’t vomiting the Gospel onto your friend’s shirt. Sam (a true practitioner) shows the rest of us how to do it in a long term, low key and relational way. (I’ve already taken my Young Adults group through half of it).
November 6, 2020
**Disclaimer: I received this book for free from Net Galley in exchange for an honest review**
I really enjoyed this book! The information provided was incredibly insightful. As a Christian, I have always struggled with knowing how to talk to people about Jesus without being pushy. I want to share God's love without seeming to have a "holier than thou" attitude. This is a great book for any Christians who want to learn more about modern evangelism.
I really enjoyed this book! The information provided was incredibly insightful. As a Christian, I have always struggled with knowing how to talk to people about Jesus without being pushy. I want to share God's love without seeming to have a "holier than thou" attitude. This is a great book for any Christians who want to learn more about modern evangelism.
January 25, 2021
This was a great book! It has many helpful tools in it from positive apologetics, to conversation tips, good questions to ask, and a great approach to evangelism. I found myself encouraged and reenergized! The title is slightly off putting. In one sense you can’t avoid possibly being “that guy” when you are telling others about Jesus. But... at the same time this book helps one approach a post-Christian worldview with skill and wisdom without just making people mad.
Displaying 1 - 30 of 173 reviews