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Field Notes on the Compassionate Life: A Search for the Soul of Kindness
Marc Ian Barasch, dubbed "one of today's coolest grown-ups" by Interview magazine, sets out on a journey to the heart of compassion. He discovers its power to change who we are and the society we have become. Compassion, he concludes, is "a prescription for authentic joy."
Can tapping into one simple human trait, hardwired into our nervous system and just waiting to be awakened, transform our lives and the world at large? Could it help us enjoy new levels of happiness and contentment? Exploring his subject through the multiple lenses of psychology and biology, pop culture and theology, history and philosophy, Barasch weaves a stirring, unforgettable account of his search to find within himself and others: the ability to live compassionately.
He examines such fascinating questions as: What can we learn from exceptionally empathetic people? Can we increase our kindness quotient with practice? How do we open our hearts to those who do us harm? What if the great driving force of our evolution were actually "survival of the kindest?"
Drawing from influences as disparate as Buddhist monks and skeptical neuroscientists, Barasch creates a riveting, persuasive argument that a simple shift in consciousness can have a tremendous, lasting impact on our psyches, our relationships, our health--and the very fate of the Earth.
Can tapping into one simple human trait, hardwired into our nervous system and just waiting to be awakened, transform our lives and the world at large? Could it help us enjoy new levels of happiness and contentment? Exploring his subject through the multiple lenses of psychology and biology, pop culture and theology, history and philosophy, Barasch weaves a stirring, unforgettable account of his search to find within himself and others: the ability to live compassionately.
He examines such fascinating questions as: What can we learn from exceptionally empathetic people? Can we increase our kindness quotient with practice? How do we open our hearts to those who do us harm? What if the great driving force of our evolution were actually "survival of the kindest?"
Drawing from influences as disparate as Buddhist monks and skeptical neuroscientists, Barasch creates a riveting, persuasive argument that a simple shift in consciousness can have a tremendous, lasting impact on our psyches, our relationships, our health--and the very fate of the Earth.
368 pages, Hardcover
First published March 23, 2005
13 people are currently reading
716 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 53 reviews
January 4, 2008
I think if I could only read one book for the rest of my life, it would be this one. Not because the book is, in and of itself, a particularly stellar piece of literature, but because it reminds me so thoroughly of the kind of person I want desperately to be.
September 30, 2019
MIB is a kind and compassionate man. Most likely he is an empath. He lets you discover those things for ourselves. In the preface he reveals what motivated him to undertake this multi-disciplinary study of chimeras.
"It felt urgent, in a world turned colder, to find a life more centered in the heart." p2
Being able to feel our way into anothers soul, to sense what is going on behind the social mask, is the pass key to kindness. p59. Philo of Alexander is said to have first said that, and this kind of empathy goes a long way in MIBs philosophy. But do not settle down in your armchair to contemplate the resonance of these words. This is very much an activity book.
Love is not enough...It's the care that puts it in the real. p127
When he talks about Street Retreats or Heart Lock, you know he has been a participant.
What mattered most was not being important, but belonging. p286
If love is to triumph, it's not just knocking the haters off their thrones. What we need is a regime change of the heart. p281
"It felt urgent, in a world turned colder, to find a life more centered in the heart." p2
Being able to feel our way into anothers soul, to sense what is going on behind the social mask, is the pass key to kindness. p59. Philo of Alexander is said to have first said that, and this kind of empathy goes a long way in MIBs philosophy. But do not settle down in your armchair to contemplate the resonance of these words. This is very much an activity book.
Love is not enough...It's the care that puts it in the real. p127
When he talks about Street Retreats or Heart Lock, you know he has been a participant.
What mattered most was not being important, but belonging. p286
If love is to triumph, it's not just knocking the haters off their thrones. What we need is a regime change of the heart. p281
May 30, 2018
Especially if you are finding it hard to believe in a future with hope, you should read this book. Each chapter is pretty self-enclosed, so you don't have to start at the beginning and slog through to the end. Such amazing stories which will stay with you. They help me maintain my commitment to being an intentional human being resisting opportunities to choose aggression, anger, destruction, and self-protection.
If you need examples of kindness, care and the extraordinary power compassion has to transform death-dealing into life-giving, this book is a great choice. I have not read anything else quite like it.
If you need examples of kindness, care and the extraordinary power compassion has to transform death-dealing into life-giving, this book is a great choice. I have not read anything else quite like it.
September 2, 2022
A refreshingly critical take on exhaling lovingkindness to the world. Combining a multicultural/religious lens on living a truly kind life. 4 stars because it was pretty wordy sometimes.
July 17, 2023
Recommended by Brian, this was a mind-bending book in the best way. I was stunned by each chapter. The final note to an alien race topped it off. Highly recommend, but as a slow-and-steady, not a quick read.
July 10, 2017
I accepted this book for review for its transplant related topic, but confess once I got into it I wasn’t sure what this had to do with transplant and had some misgivings as I began reading. Imagine my surprise when I found myself very moved by the way this author covered the subject of compassion in the world today, across a variety of areas, one of which was in fact, organ donation (of course, now that I thought about it, a compassionate act of giving life to a stranger or equally so in the living donation event). My misgivings quickly fell to the side as I became engrossed in the stories of compassion told in a fascinating and compelling manner by this gifted author as he relates experience after experience from personal research that must have been emotionally inspiring in encountering such special people.
With stories ranging from St. Francis to the Dalai Lama and today’s Buddhist monks, author Barasch brought me to deep emotion in reading much simpler but equally supportive modern day examples of his compassionate life thesis. My eyes filled with tears, for example, as I read of teenage girls transported from war torn Palestine and Israel (with its holocaust history) to a local New Jersey summer camp where these girls face each other for the first time, mortal enemies at home, transformed into more typical teenage life conflicts and friendships as they get to know each other as compassionate human beings. Tears fell again as I read about a lone worker at the World Trade Center disaster telling of his experience with “hippie-like kids” who helped him after a long emotionally draining day of clearing wreckage. These tattooed Red Cross workers came to where he sat exhausted on a curb, took off his boots and put dry socks on his weary feet. Later he was lifted by their compassionate cheering as he left the scene of that disaster (see page 284 and see if those two short paragraphs don’t bring you to tears also).
Whether he’s exploring the physical human heart and scientifically measurable communications from the heart in meditation (see the chapter “Heart Science, Heart’s Mystery), observing a society of rare chimps that is based on compassion among that animal tribe, or the telling stories of altruistic kidney donations to a stranger for transplant (see the 22 page chapter, “The Giveaway”), this writing is both inspired and engrossing in ways that we usually only find in fictional mystery novels. His supportive first person interviews and encounters are told within the context of history and centuries old philosopher’s writings. But additionally, Barasch often lives such experiments, like when he himself took on living the life of a homeless street person for a week, as part of his research, making it all the more a compelling narrative. This author has truly done his homework in every sense of the word and the resulting research makes for surprisingly fascinating reading.
Let me close this review with a quote (page 151) from a conversation between the author of a real-life made-for-TV movie storyline about a young teenage football payer who donates a kidney to save his grandmother’s life (giving up a promising football career in the process) and a living donor inspired by that movie. When the kidney donor asks this author, “So, how do you feel about that?” (referring to his being moved to donate by her movie) she responds, “You were behaving the way human being should behave and usually don’t.” That sums up what this book is all about, and isn’t that a call to action for each of us in our own lives? Barasch believes that the compassionate life is our natural way and the world would be a much better place if we accepted that and lived according to our nature in everyday relationships with the world around us. Just imagine what that would be like if we all lived a fully compassionate life. This is one of those books I will keep in my library of favorites and read again and recommend to those who would look to a better world during their own lifetime, hopefully that includes you.
see this and more than a hundred other organ donation/transplant related books - many with my personal reviews - at http://www.trioweb.org/resources/book...
With stories ranging from St. Francis to the Dalai Lama and today’s Buddhist monks, author Barasch brought me to deep emotion in reading much simpler but equally supportive modern day examples of his compassionate life thesis. My eyes filled with tears, for example, as I read of teenage girls transported from war torn Palestine and Israel (with its holocaust history) to a local New Jersey summer camp where these girls face each other for the first time, mortal enemies at home, transformed into more typical teenage life conflicts and friendships as they get to know each other as compassionate human beings. Tears fell again as I read about a lone worker at the World Trade Center disaster telling of his experience with “hippie-like kids” who helped him after a long emotionally draining day of clearing wreckage. These tattooed Red Cross workers came to where he sat exhausted on a curb, took off his boots and put dry socks on his weary feet. Later he was lifted by their compassionate cheering as he left the scene of that disaster (see page 284 and see if those two short paragraphs don’t bring you to tears also).
Whether he’s exploring the physical human heart and scientifically measurable communications from the heart in meditation (see the chapter “Heart Science, Heart’s Mystery), observing a society of rare chimps that is based on compassion among that animal tribe, or the telling stories of altruistic kidney donations to a stranger for transplant (see the 22 page chapter, “The Giveaway”), this writing is both inspired and engrossing in ways that we usually only find in fictional mystery novels. His supportive first person interviews and encounters are told within the context of history and centuries old philosopher’s writings. But additionally, Barasch often lives such experiments, like when he himself took on living the life of a homeless street person for a week, as part of his research, making it all the more a compelling narrative. This author has truly done his homework in every sense of the word and the resulting research makes for surprisingly fascinating reading.
Let me close this review with a quote (page 151) from a conversation between the author of a real-life made-for-TV movie storyline about a young teenage football payer who donates a kidney to save his grandmother’s life (giving up a promising football career in the process) and a living donor inspired by that movie. When the kidney donor asks this author, “So, how do you feel about that?” (referring to his being moved to donate by her movie) she responds, “You were behaving the way human being should behave and usually don’t.” That sums up what this book is all about, and isn’t that a call to action for each of us in our own lives? Barasch believes that the compassionate life is our natural way and the world would be a much better place if we accepted that and lived according to our nature in everyday relationships with the world around us. Just imagine what that would be like if we all lived a fully compassionate life. This is one of those books I will keep in my library of favorites and read again and recommend to those who would look to a better world during their own lifetime, hopefully that includes you.
see this and more than a hundred other organ donation/transplant related books - many with my personal reviews - at http://www.trioweb.org/resources/book...
December 24, 2024
I came close to giving up on this book in the first 50 pages or so.
The author uses $10 words constantly and comes off, with some irony, as a little full of himself. Many of these words I had to look up, and (while this is after my own heart) he often makes up his own for a pun. All the while, the beginning chapters trace the genesis of compassion through ape cousins. This was hitting its limit, even for me.
But then something changed. The prose smoothed out a little (though not completely) and his attention to detail paid off on chapters that were much more up my alley. For example, the chapters devoted to those who have donated a kidney to total strangers. Or the (longest one in the book) chapter on the Israel-Palestine conflict that, sadly, is still ongoing. Or the chapter where he goes on a "homeless" retreat.
Or, perhaps most confoundingly and beautifully, the chapter of a father, Hector Black, who- in spite of every understandable reason to act in the total opposite manner- forgave and then held weekly correspondence with the man who raped and murdered his daughter.
His words speak for themselves: "I know that love does not seek revenge. We do not want a life for a life. I don't hate you, though I hate with all my soul what you did. My wish from my heart is that God would grant all of us peace who have been so terribly wounded by this murder - including you, Ivan Simpson."
What makes the book click is that brave face at confronting the ugly aspects of humanity. It reminds me of Fred Rogers recounting how his mother encouraged him to "look for the helpers." I marked many pages to look into things, to write down a quote, to think on later. It did lose me a little at the very end where he extrapolates all he's talked about to what our message would be to extraterrestrials, including a self-effacing "letter" that compounds his worst writing impulses.
But I'm willing to forgive that. I try to read many books that are about virtue and engender inspiration, often only to be disappointed in one way or the other by a cynical, self-help, or mushy take, but, while there's elements of all three here, it often transcends. It is irreligious but intensely spiritual and does not hide away from citing to major thinkers of all creeds. He introduces some fascinating if fringe science as well - some pans out better than others but it does fit with making it feel like the world is a more feeling place. A big recurring theme is that there's contagion to love and hate, and, regardless of how you act, you set off a chain reaction, which is an inspirational and harrowing sentiment.
Here's some other highlights.
Echoing Aquinas: "If one loves God and God loves all, then one must love everyone whom God loves."
On those who sheltered Jewish people during the Holocaust: "But they were not alone; they only thought they were. Rescuers touched others, and not just their embattled fellow-conspirators, the paper-forgers and the paper smugglers, but the bakers who sometimes silently portioned out more than the due ration, the farmers who wordlessly sold them cheaper vegetables, the occasional bureaucrat who turned a blind eye. They were too few and too far between, but thousands took tiny risks to affirm their humanity - risks that, without the rescuers, they might not have taken at all."
"Although she was not our child by any claims of birth, she was our child by every claim of love."
"When you are dehumanized, inexorably, I am dehumanized. If I want to enhance my humanity, then, whether I like it or not, I must enhance yours."
"I can't keep a separate heart, one for my friends and one for my enemies."
The author uses $10 words constantly and comes off, with some irony, as a little full of himself. Many of these words I had to look up, and (while this is after my own heart) he often makes up his own for a pun. All the while, the beginning chapters trace the genesis of compassion through ape cousins. This was hitting its limit, even for me.
But then something changed. The prose smoothed out a little (though not completely) and his attention to detail paid off on chapters that were much more up my alley. For example, the chapters devoted to those who have donated a kidney to total strangers. Or the (longest one in the book) chapter on the Israel-Palestine conflict that, sadly, is still ongoing. Or the chapter where he goes on a "homeless" retreat.
Or, perhaps most confoundingly and beautifully, the chapter of a father, Hector Black, who- in spite of every understandable reason to act in the total opposite manner- forgave and then held weekly correspondence with the man who raped and murdered his daughter.
His words speak for themselves: "I know that love does not seek revenge. We do not want a life for a life. I don't hate you, though I hate with all my soul what you did. My wish from my heart is that God would grant all of us peace who have been so terribly wounded by this murder - including you, Ivan Simpson."
What makes the book click is that brave face at confronting the ugly aspects of humanity. It reminds me of Fred Rogers recounting how his mother encouraged him to "look for the helpers." I marked many pages to look into things, to write down a quote, to think on later. It did lose me a little at the very end where he extrapolates all he's talked about to what our message would be to extraterrestrials, including a self-effacing "letter" that compounds his worst writing impulses.
But I'm willing to forgive that. I try to read many books that are about virtue and engender inspiration, often only to be disappointed in one way or the other by a cynical, self-help, or mushy take, but, while there's elements of all three here, it often transcends. It is irreligious but intensely spiritual and does not hide away from citing to major thinkers of all creeds. He introduces some fascinating if fringe science as well - some pans out better than others but it does fit with making it feel like the world is a more feeling place. A big recurring theme is that there's contagion to love and hate, and, regardless of how you act, you set off a chain reaction, which is an inspirational and harrowing sentiment.
Here's some other highlights.
Echoing Aquinas: "If one loves God and God loves all, then one must love everyone whom God loves."
On those who sheltered Jewish people during the Holocaust: "But they were not alone; they only thought they were. Rescuers touched others, and not just their embattled fellow-conspirators, the paper-forgers and the paper smugglers, but the bakers who sometimes silently portioned out more than the due ration, the farmers who wordlessly sold them cheaper vegetables, the occasional bureaucrat who turned a blind eye. They were too few and too far between, but thousands took tiny risks to affirm their humanity - risks that, without the rescuers, they might not have taken at all."
"Although she was not our child by any claims of birth, she was our child by every claim of love."
"When you are dehumanized, inexorably, I am dehumanized. If I want to enhance my humanity, then, whether I like it or not, I must enhance yours."
"I can't keep a separate heart, one for my friends and one for my enemies."
August 20, 2023
It was really interesting to re-read this book after having done so 18 years ago when my life was very different. I had underlined what struck me, some of which still did today. Other parts were completely over my head then, such as HeartMath. Well about 6 years ago, HeartMath became a big part of my daily life and I had no awareness I had ever heard about it until I re-read this book. Funny how we get what we need, when we need it. This book is filled with lots of good nuggets and well worth a read.
February 4, 2022
I found the book to be exhaustingly discrptive while perpusfully light in empirical evidence. Marc appears and disappears like a literary Flash Gordan to place "science-based" ornaments on his published tree of knowledge.
April 17, 2020
A profoundly impactful book.
February 23, 2021
This book was beautifully written, weaving together practices, personal stories and the experiences of others.
Want to read
March 4, 2022Melcat
September 27, 2024
I don’t know that the America that this books is about still exists.
January 1, 2025
:))) helped meee!!!!!
June 29, 2008
A fascinating discussion of the need for greater compassion. Hopeful and inspiring--I was frequently in tears, especially at the kindness of the father of a murdered woman toward her penitent killer. The only reason I hesitate to give it five stars is that the writing style is a little loose, in my opinion. (I was expecting more of an A to B to C style exposition of why compassion is necessary, rather than the anecdotes in the beginning that attempt to show that compassion is not against human nature. The author does eventually come around to making the case for compassion, but it takes awhile, even if the journey is interesting.)
This criticism aside, it's still a compelling book, and it encouraged me, sometimes almost against my will, to try to work a little more compassion into my own life. Highly recommended.
This criticism aside, it's still a compelling book, and it encouraged me, sometimes almost against my will, to try to work a little more compassion into my own life. Highly recommended.
November 13, 2015
Barash offers up some epic insight into one of life's most essential skills/intelligences, Compassion. He does a masterful job of describing compassion as one of existence's truest beauties.
A must read for all - those on the path of enlightenment and those still unaware of why they should get on the path!!
Oh, and his writing style is very engaging. He is chill, witty, and very creative with his imagery. Plus, the research he conducted for this masterpiece is top notch. Barash is definitely one of those interesting characters you want to invite to your dinner parties. Hmm.. I kinda (aka most definitely) want to meet this guy..
A must read for all - those on the path of enlightenment and those still unaware of why they should get on the path!!
Oh, and his writing style is very engaging. He is chill, witty, and very creative with his imagery. Plus, the research he conducted for this masterpiece is top notch. Barash is definitely one of those interesting characters you want to invite to your dinner parties. Hmm.. I kinda (aka most definitely) want to meet this guy..
December 16, 2007
I really liked the varied investigative approach the author took to his subject of compassion. He looks for clues in the behavior of our simian cousins, chimpanzees and bonobos, finds inspiration in the work of Soren Kierkegaard, and talks to a number of extraordinary altruists. I learned of this book because I am friends with one of them, Hector Black. I'm very glad to have read this book; it really got me thinking about the ways that we can open ourselves to be caring and compassionate in our daily lives.
February 10, 2017
This wasn't exactly what I was expecting when I randomly picked it up off the library shelf, but I ended up completely enraptured by it. Barasch fills the pages with a great balance of academic/intellectual/scientific information and personal, heartwarming stories related to the ideas of compassion, kindness, altruism, forgiveness, etc. He seems to cover all the based of the great virtues. Every single part of this book left me amazed, deeply thoughtful, and wanting to act. It's truly a book that is good for the soul and I believe would be a beneficial read for everyone who is human.
September 17, 2009
Marc embodies the examined life in all its worthiness. Field Notes is a cornucopia of reasons to believe from a born skeptic, a humble high achiever fascinated by the seemingly selfless and the intricacies of mammalian altruism. Life and research entwined and dissected in gymnastic prose. The journalistic effort alone in observing the lives and work of such a variety of people is staggering. BUT THAT'S NOT ALL! You also get gentle, amusing, good-natured questioning and analysis.
February 2, 2010
This book took me about 3 years to finish. I'm not sure what the problem was because everytime I opened it I was moved and inspired by the stories and studies of compassion. I have highlighted half the book...hoping that by doing so I will be able to remember to practice compassion on a deeper level. This was not an easy read for me but I'm glad I read it. I could have done without the last chapter, the letter written to an alien planet didn't do much for me (in fact I skipped most of it)!
September 19, 2011
The author included a great deal of personal and academic research about compassion and also writes about experiences he has in meeting people who are compassionate, including parents of murdered children, volunteers, and other regular folks who are extraordinarily compassionate. Although I enjoyed reading the book, I feel it was too wordy and wish that it had been edited down at least 50-75 pages.
June 19, 2013
Inspiring. Made me think. 1 of my favorite paragraphs from the book: "When the psychologist Carl Jung, on one of his perennial quests, visited Chief Mountain Lake of the Taos Pueblo, the tribal elder told him he judged the whites to be quite mad. "Why is that? Jung asked. "They say they think with their heads,"the chief replied. "Of course," said Jung. "What do YOU think with?" Mountain Lake pointed to his heart: "We think HERE."."
June 18, 2013
The book is incredibly well written. The first 75 pages, I found to be a bit slow. But then I was hooked.
He speaks of empathy and compassion and our need for more of that in this world. His real world experiences are poignant and I found myself deeply moved by some of his stories. The book will make you reflect on your own life, and remind you to strive to be more compassionate and empathetic.
This is a very good read, and one that I recommend to other individuals.
He speaks of empathy and compassion and our need for more of that in this world. His real world experiences are poignant and I found myself deeply moved by some of his stories. The book will make you reflect on your own life, and remind you to strive to be more compassionate and empathetic.
This is a very good read, and one that I recommend to other individuals.
December 23, 2020
I feel so lucky to have stumbled on this book. If someone were only going to read 10 books in their life, I would still say this should be one of them. I kept thorough notes while reading this because I wanted to remember each and every bit of wisdom and anecdote of hope. If all people read this book, the world would be a much kinder and gentler place.
“Vulnerability is holy. It is our capacity to be moved by each other that makes us whole.”
“Vulnerability is holy. It is our capacity to be moved by each other that makes us whole.”
January 30, 2012
Marc Ian Barasch does an amazing job at balancing science, philosophy, and religion in this exploration of human compassion. He makes a strong case that perhaps we're not doomed to be the Huxlian super-human with cold hearts. Perhaps we are hardwired for a more kind future if we only gave it a chance. I sincerely believe egoists and altruists alike should read this book.
December 11, 2007
I hate this guy's tone. He is REALLY arrogant. Nevertheless, there are lots of interesting stories in here as he searches for the biological roots of compassion. It all kind of reads like a collection of Discover articles...worth a read - but check it out of the library.
December 25, 2010
this was recommended by one of the teachers on my last retreat and since I'm struggling with my compassion practice I thought it was a good choice. He's got a bit of a goofy voice but the info was good.
July 7, 2009
A scientific exploration of compassion. It gives some really interesting insights. For example, our heart does kind of think on its own...it sends lots of signals to the brain. I never knew that. I learned a lot from this book.
August 3, 2009
So far this book is amazing. This guy is an amazing and quirky writer with an impressive vocabulary, and his ideas are simultaneously brilliant and "duh!" Now if only we could apply them consistently...
February 16, 2011
I originally gave this book a five-star rating. The author writes well and inspired me.
After finishing the review, I researched some of the info from the book. Based on that, I decided the author had written about a number of events that lacked factual support or that had been exaggerated.
After finishing the review, I researched some of the info from the book. Based on that, I decided the author had written about a number of events that lacked factual support or that had been exaggerated.
Displaying 1 - 30 of 53 reviews