How to Live When You Could Be Dead

by Deborah James

THE SUNDAY TIMES NO.1 BESTSELLER'Deborah James has captured the heart of the nation' - The Duke and Duchess of Cambridge @KensingtonRoyal'Brave, bright, beautiful' - Lorraine Kelly'Deborah's ability to find positivity in the darkest of places is an inspiration to us all' - Davina McCall'This book has shaken me awake. I gulped it down in one sitting, then sat and cried... [But] hope is a character on every single page' - Christie Watson-------------------I was alive when I should have been dead. In another movie, I missed the sliding door and departed this wondrous life long ago. Like so many others, I had to learn to live not knowing if I have a tomorrow, because, statistically, I didn't. At the age of 35, I was blindsided by incurable bowel cancer - I was given less than an 8 per cent chance of surviving five years. Five years later, my only option was to live in the now and to value one day at a time.--------------------How do you turn your mind from a negative spiral into realistic and rebellious hope? How do you stop focusing on the why and realise that 'why not me' is just as valid a question?When Deborah James was diagnosed with incurable bowel cancer at just 35, she learned a powerful the way we respond to any given situation empowers or destroys us. And with the right skills and approach, we can all face huge challenges and find strength and hope in the darkest of places.How to Live When You Could Be Dead will show you how. It will awaken you to question your life as if you didn't have a tomorrow and live it in the way you want to today. By harnessing the power of positivity and valuing each day as though it could be your last, you'll find out, as Deborah did, that it is possible to live with joy and purpose, no matter what.Ebury, a division of Penguin Random House, will pay £3 from the sale of each copy of How To Live When You Could Be Dead by Deborah James sold in the UK to Bowelbabe Fund for Cancer Research UK. Cancer Research UK is a charity registered in England and Wales (1089464), Scotland (SC041666), Isle of Man (1103) and Jersey (247).

Genres: Nonfiction, Self Help, Memoir, Autobiography, Biography, Audiobook, Health

240 pages, Hardcover

Published August 18, 2022

Reviews

[Jo (The Book Geek) · Rating 4 out of 5]

I had known of Deborah James for some time, and I followed her cancer journey with interest and hope, so I was definitely inspired to read her self-help book. The book opens with a beautiful letter to the public from one of James' closest friends, which was very touching in itself.

James was clearly a rock and inspiration to so many people, and she spent the time and energy she did have making people aware of cancer symptoms, and trying to educate people that bowel cancer should be talked about, and most importantly, we should be talking more about poo. She had such enthusiasm for every day things, and the amount of fundraising she achieved is astounding.

This book was beautifully written, raw and honest, and even though James may be gone, she has shown the world that it helps to have some 'Rebellious hope'.

[Michelle · Rating 5 out of 5]

I read this in one sitting. A lovely book full of rebellious hope just the way that Deborah James intended. A practical guide to navigating the unpredictable nature of life and making the most of our time.

[because_she_reads (Mira Jade) · Rating 3 out of 5]

Heartfelt story in the face of fear and what some people call unavoidable failure.

Deborah brings to light what makes life worth living and how to make the most of our finite time. Even in life’s worst situations, we need to learn and grow from them. Appreciate what we already have instead of harping on the negatives.
It’s the little wins that matter most when all you feel like doing is giving up!!

Lovely easy read!!

[Jasmin · Rating 5 out of 5]

Such a beautiful book about life, hope, confidence, facing fears and so much more. Deborah James offers some wonderful, gentle advice which is easy to read and so thought-provoking. A really special book.

[Stefan Mitev · Rating 4 out of 5]

През 2016 г. животът на английската учителка Дебора Джеймс се преобръща, когато на 36-годишна възраст е диагностицирана с четвърти стадий на рак на дебелото черво. Прогнозата, че ще бъде жива след пет години, е само 8%. Доказаната BRAF мутация е свързана с ранен и агресивен карцином, установен много преди началото на масовия скрининг в Англия. Нейните симптоми са дълго време са игнорирани с обяснението просто за раздразнено черво и хемороиди.

Дебора Джеймс не се предава пред страшната диагноза. Първо, тя създава блог и подкаст, чрез които информира широката публика за значимостта на заболяването. Става чест гост на различни медии и натрупва стотици хиляди последователи в социалните мрежи. Организира кампания, чрез която само за две седмици събира почти 7 милиона паунда за научни проекти, насочени към рака на дебелото черво. Заради социалната си дейност получава рицарско звание - дама, женският еквивалент на познатото "сър".

Книгата не съдържа никакви медицински термини и включва предимно лични размисли за приближаващата смърт. Дебора Джеймс подчертава значението на оптимизма и надеждата при борбата с болестта и поредния курс химиотерапия. Дава съвети за организиране на времето, когато то бързо изтича, пълноценно използване на всеки следващ ден и оценяване на малките неща в живота. Дебора Джеймс умира през юни 2022 г. от усложенения на заболяването, като успява да подобри мрачната начална прогноза заради лекарства, които не са съществували при поставяне на диагнозата.

Жалко е, че у нас нямаме личност като Дебора Джеймс, която да се превърне в истински символ на борбата срещу коварната болест. В България няма масов скрининг, така че абсолютно всеки може да бъде на нейно място, особено след 50-годишна възраст. Нашите пациентски организации не правят нищо по въпроса, често са спонсорирани от фармацевтични фирми с цел лобизъм и със сигурност не могат да се похвалят с постигнатото от една единствена англичанка. Добър пример за книга, която ще ви накара да се замислите.

[Rae · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was a very inspirational book, even to a seasoned curmudgeon such as myself. If there is just one thing I will take away, it's the idea of "Rebellious Hope". Whether I succeed or not, I intend to try to infuse my life with some of it.

No one has all the time in the world, and we don't need it for our lives to be worthwhile.

In the words of Emily Dickinson:

If I can stop one heart from breaking,
I shall not live in vain;
If I can ease one life the aching,
Or cool one pain,
Or help one fainting robin
Unto his nest again,
I shall not live in vain.

Deborah James has touched many lives. She was clearly an amazing person: ambitious, positive, eloquent and determined. I only wish she could have had many more years to live her best life.

[Nicola · Rating 4 out of 5]

I had hoped that this book would be more specific in how to live well and plan for end of life but it was more of self help book for living well for anyone- there is just more impetus to get on with being your best self when you have incurable cancer. Nevertheless there is a great deal of wisdom here and plenty to take away and consider. This has been written by a very special lady and I hope this book will be beneficial to many others suffering from incurable cancers as well as boosting Cancer Research’s funds. Thank you Deborah.

[Stephen · Rating 4 out of 5]

Such an interesting and informative read about the authors battle with bowel cancer and her podcasts and general life advices

[Olivia Erikson · Rating 3 out of 5]

I picked this book up looking for guidance and hope in regards to living my own life as well as possible whilst having a chronic illness. I admire Deborah James and her phenomenal work, she will always be a truly inspirational person. But I did not enjoy this book.

I found this work to be mentally agonising to read. Insufferable almost.
I find that the book simply repeats itself over and over, whilst saying nothing profound. It doesn’t really say much of any substance or significance at all.

The concepts that are explored are basic at most, along the lines of “think positive because it’s nicer than thinking negative” and “you never know if your going to see tomorrow so you may as well do it now”.

But it never feels like it goes deeper than that. And somehow goes in circles rewording and repeating those some concepts whilst adding very little or nothing to develop them further.

Honestly I think people just give this book good reviews because they feel bad for Deborah, they admire her, or they feel like a bad person criticising the work of a woman who has now unfortunately passed away from her cancer.

But I think that it’s ok to say, that despite the fact that she has died, this book is just not good.

[Jess Hill · Rating 5 out of 5]

Inspirational

[M.S. Shoshanna Selo · Rating 4 out of 5]

I followed Dame Deborah's story until her unfortunate death in June so reading her book was a must for me. What a truly incredible, brave and inspiring lady she was. Even towards the end of her battle with bowel cancer, she remained strong, positive and grateful for the things most take for granted.

This book is more of a psychological self-help book on how to deal with life adversities. The only downsides of reading this were that some parts were repetitive especially the self-help advise. I'm not really a big fan of self-help style books especially ones that give psychological advise. I find the advise is often easier said than done and often presented in an impersonal and patronizing manner. However, Deborah relays the advise in a personal way from her own experience which makes it easier to relate to what's being said. It would also have been good to hear more about Deborah's personal experiences living with cancer and more about her everyday challenges and experiences with the disease.

However there are a lot of valuable lessons that can be learnt from this book. It was very touching and sad but also inspired me to live life to the full and appreciate small things and never take anything for granted. Deborah's writing style is very personable and engaging. I think a big reason behind her popularity was her warmth and ability to relate and talk to people. I would definitely recommend this book.


Grade: A-

[Sheila · Rating 2 out of 5]

I thought I would get more out of this book then I did, I thought it would be more memoir then self-help.

[Emma Severn · Rating 4 out of 5]

I followed Deb on Instagram before her death, what an amazing woman!
A nice read for anybody struggling with ‘get up an go’.
A book about motivation and reasons for it.

[Queen Rebecca · Rating 4 out of 5]

What a strong woman in the face of death. Everyone should read this book to get some perspective on life and how to remain positive in the worst of situations. Even harder to read now she has gone, but I hope to live the lessons she shares.

[Ms.TDA · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book has never just been about Deborah; it’s always been about making sure that we all feel that hope and happiness too. Where we can’t change what happened or what will happen, but what you are in control of is how you react to any of your circumstances. She really delivered well her thoughts of goal of live well with the rest of her ticking times left.

By the end of the day, you have to savour your life and enjoy the little things. Be grateful that you can simply move around. Take pleasure in being with your family. Enjoy your body. Live well😇

[Jenni · Rating 3 out of 5]

This wasn't quite what I expected. There wasn't anything 'new' here from my point of view, but it was easy to follow and certainly emphasised positivity during a time of what could have been enormous sadness and stress for the author. I had followed Deborah on instagram for a long time and I felt I wanted to read this to 'complete the journey'.

[Georgina Bennett · Rating 4 out of 5]

Inspired me to make a list of how to “savour life and enjoy the little things”

I do feel like I already am a positive person but I definitely took a lot away from Deborah’s book and will be encouraging those close to me to read this!

[Alex McVeigh · Rating 5 out of 5]

(Audiobook) I wish I had even 10% of the positive attitude towards life that Deborah had even after she received an incurable cancer diagnosis at age 35. Although her life was tragically cut short, her story will live on to inspire others forever.

[Han · Rating 5 out of 5]

Loved this book! Deborah's strength and positive outlook is an inspiration. An amazing woman sharing her very tough story.

[Elis · Rating 4 out of 5]

An honest and powerful book. Thank you, Deborah.

[Kay Adkins · Rating 3 out of 5]

I read this because of the positive messages Dame Deborah had given out before her death. It also gave me the opportunity to donate to her charity. However, although it was well written technically it didn’t tell me anything I haven’t found from other sources. I also think that, and I know this will be controversial as the author has no recourse to me, there are other authors in this self help genre who are more motivational and, yes, inspirational.
It is a good easy read if you need a quick self pep talk.

[Katlin · Rating 5 out of 5]

If you are having some life struggles whether you’ve lost a job, lost a loved one, been diagnosed with an illness whatever it is that is holding you back you need to read this!

After reading I don’t know I feel my opinion of everything has changed for the better. Having rebellious hope and realising failures aren’t bad but learning lessons. Deborah has inspired me from the moment I started reading this to do better. Make plans and goals and despite there is going to be harder days than others just taking it step by step, day by day, I can and will be able to achieve anything I want to.

[Jo · Rating 4 out of 5]

Bit of a self help book and not what I expected at all. Read it really quickly as it’s easy to flick through. The last few chapters are really emotional but if you’ve followed Dame Deborah for a while, you don’t learn anything new. I gave it 4* not for the content of the book (it would have scored much lower) but for the fact she has left such a legacy in raising so much money and awareness for Bowel Cancer and 4* goes to Rebellious Hope. 💛💛

[KayElle · Rating 2 out of 5]

Really wanted to like this but it felt a bit repetitive and overly positive/preachy. Didn’t have the magic I thought it would which is a shame as I loved Deborah. X

[Sara · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book was not on my TBR list; in fact I hadn’t even heard of Deborah James (aka Bowel Babe). I happened to acquire it en route to the charity shop and thought I’d pick it up seeing as it was only 200-ish pages.

For a short book it is full of life. There is a sweet balance between it being a memoir and a self help book. It was poignant and uplifting all at the same time- very true to the writer’s self proclaimed “rebellious hope”.

Critics could argue that the advice given in here is nothing novel, but for me it was all about the delivery. James managed to encapsulate the essential drivers to lead a wholesome life, in a way that is concise, but very raw and honest. She speaks effectively about hope and resilience; she highlights the importance and beauty of setting goals and experiencing failures; she reminds us to laugh and to love. For me personally, this book emphasised concepts which I have learned as part of my faith to be crucial for successful character building, self growth, and fulfilment in life, which made it all the more beautiful to connect with. This life is temporary, and our time here matters very much.

“You might think that legacy is something you have to work towards knowingly or something that has to be achieved in your lifetime. Actually, your legacy is planting seeds that you will never see flower. Your legacy is knowing that you’ve done better for the next generation. Your legacy is having the rebellious hope that the actions you take today will create a better society tomorrow.”

[Mariah DS · Rating 4 out of 5]

I had the pleasure of being taught my favourite subject by Dame Deborah James in school, I remember she had a great sense of style and a lovely smile. This book is heartbreaking but uplifting at the same time. In the darkest moment in her life, she still managed fo find a reason to laugh, smile and enjoy what life she had left. She has left an incredible legacy and I truly hope she is at peace now. This book is a reminder that we must cherish those nearest and dearest to us because life can be snatched away from you in an instant! The love letter to her husband and kids was hard to read knowing that she is wrote it knowing she wouldn’t be here on earth my longer. Amazing read, I gave my mum this to read (she hasn’t read in years!!!) and she absolutely loved it and has taken some lessons from it. RIP Dame Deborah X

[Gem ~ · Rating 5 out of 5]

I became aware of Deborah James a few years ago on social media through her podcast , 'You, Me and the Big C', and the sad death of her friend and fellow podcaster Rachael Bland. I immediately loved her honesty, sense of fun, and relentless push for awareness of cancer, particularly bowel cancer, which Deborah had been diagnosed at 35, and what soon became stage 4.
When I pre-ordered this book Deborah had delivered the devastating news that her body was too weak for any further treatments and that she was entering end of life care at her parents' home, subsequently she died in June this year.
For obvious reasons this book is hard-hitting and very emotional, as it became a memoir of her thoughts as she faced the end of her life. There are also many practical, inspiring, aswell as fully researched studies providing guidance to how to overcome adversity, whether that be cancer, grief, the breakdown of a relationship career issues etc, the chapters give pertinent facts and tacit advice about how to live and move forwards.
In true Deborah style there are also many funny moments, her honest account of her anxiety as well as her cancer treatment all delivered in her chatty, "don't give a damn" voice reaches out from the pages and it's a moving love story to life and all its unpredictability.

[Olivia Caple · Rating 4 out of 5]

This got very emotional and inspirational towards the end. I really felt like I was following Deborah through her journey and her thoughts. As someone who has close relatives with terminal cancer, this hit close to home and further helped me understand how someone in that situation could be feeling. The book has made me reflect on my life and I’m sure would be an inspirational read for everyone. I didn’t particularly enjoy the self-help aspect of the book, but I have gained a lot from reading this. Needless to say, I admire Deborah for everything she has done and the battle in which she so bravely fought.

[C · Rating 4 out of 5]

⭐️: 4.5/5

this book has taught me how to live your life to the fullest. how to appreciate things around us, so we don’t regret it later when the time comes. chase your dreams, anything, really. because you only live once. and i want to live, even if it’s tough. because i know i’ve got people who will support me no matter what right on my back. i’d thank the late ms. deborah who wrote this book. may you rest easy up there. thank you for wrote such a beautiful book.

[Emma Dargue · Rating 5 out of 5]

Total disclaimer - this took me an age to finish. Partly because it took me a little while to get into but also because this book is utterly heartbreaking. Dame Deborah James writes her second book with such a love for life that it is heartbreaking she is no longer around to see the impact that this book and her first will have on people not just necessarily for people with life limiting or terminal illness. Thank you Deborah!