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Codependent No More & Beyond Codependency
Much of the attention in our self-help-absorbed world is focused on the addict--the compulsive, chemically dependent person who uses alcohol or other drugs to anesthetize the pain of day-to-day living. But what about the other victims of addiction--the spouses, families, and caretakers suffering (not so quietly) in the background, so involved in the addict's problems that they are unable to identify and solve their own?
Codependent No More and Beyond Codependency address these issues in a clear language, providing colorful examples and steps to assist readers in ameliorating their relationship patterns and developing healthy lifestyles.
These classic bestsellers inspired a personal growth movement upon their release and kindled the creation of Co-Dependents Anonymous. People struggling with codependency can continue to improve their lives and become codependent no more.
Codependent No More and Beyond Codependency address these issues in a clear language, providing colorful examples and steps to assist readers in ameliorating their relationship patterns and developing healthy lifestyles.
These classic bestsellers inspired a personal growth movement upon their release and kindled the creation of Co-Dependents Anonymous. People struggling with codependency can continue to improve their lives and become codependent no more.
492 pages, Hardcover
First published January 1, 1992
62 people are currently reading
1304 people want to read
About the author
Melody Beattie
80 books997 followersMelody Beattie was an American self-help author best known for her groundbreaking work on codependency. Born in 1948 in Minnesota, she endured a traumatic childhood marked by abuse and early substance addiction. After achieving sobriety, she became a licensed addiction counselor and began writing to help others navigate emotional recovery. Her 1986 book Codependent No More became a bestseller, selling eight million copies and helping to bring the concept of codependency into mainstream awareness. Over her career, she authored 18 books, including Beyond Codependency, The Language of Letting Go, and Make Miracles in Forty Days. Though her work is often associated with Co-Dependents Anonymous, her books were independent of the program.
Beattie’s personal life reflected many of the struggles she addressed in her work, including four marriages and the loss of a son. Her writing often drew from her own experiences with grief, addiction, and healing. In early 2025, she was forced to evacuate her Malibu home due to wildfires and died shortly after at her daughter’s home in Los Angeles from heart failure.
Beattie’s personal life reflected many of the struggles she addressed in her work, including four marriages and the loss of a son. Her writing often drew from her own experiences with grief, addiction, and healing. In early 2025, she was forced to evacuate her Malibu home due to wildfires and died shortly after at her daughter’s home in Los Angeles from heart failure.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 57 reviews
August 31, 2012
This book makes you take a good hard look at yourself by exposing what you didn't know about yourself. Or, perhaps, denied about yourself. It is incredibly awakening and it made me learn what not to continue doing. Habits that just became 'part of the daily scenery', so to speak, were said so clearly that I truly couldn't contain myself most of the time through this book. I not only recommend this book, but a big box of tissues to go with it! LOL It literally SAVED MY LIFE!
February 12, 2015
Book Review: Codependent No More/Beyond Codependency by Melody Beattie I wanted to learn about co-dependency because I wasn't completely sure what was meant by being co-dependent. This book is wonderfully written and is extremely informative.
I wish I had read this book as a young woman so I could have been more aware of relationships with friends and others during that time of my life who may have been codependents. I believe reading this book as a young adult would help aide in figuring out personal issues (and relationships with others) sooner in life rather than later.
Although the book also focuses on alcoholism, substance abuse and 12-step programs, there are many more topics in this book that relate to general life issues. Learning to love and accept yourself (and others), expressing yourself, setting goals and learning how to communicate properly are just some of the helpful topics covered.
This book is actually a 2 in 1 book with 'Codependent No More' being published in 1987 and 'Beyond Codependency' being published in 1989. Melody Beattie, the author, is a recovered addict, alcoholic and codependent. The reason this book is so insightful is because Ms. Beattie wrote from the heart. She shares her experiences and those she has connected with vividly in this book.
I must tell you that I started this book on February 11, 2014 and to my surprise I finished it exactly a year later. The reason I spread this book out over such a long period of time was because it is not 'light & fluffy' reading. It is intense and thought provoking. This was a borrowed book, but if I owned a copy I would go through the book again and highlight many insightful and smart advice that I could pass onto my daughters.
I wish I had read this book as a young woman so I could have been more aware of relationships with friends and others during that time of my life who may have been codependents. I believe reading this book as a young adult would help aide in figuring out personal issues (and relationships with others) sooner in life rather than later.
Although the book also focuses on alcoholism, substance abuse and 12-step programs, there are many more topics in this book that relate to general life issues. Learning to love and accept yourself (and others), expressing yourself, setting goals and learning how to communicate properly are just some of the helpful topics covered.
This book is actually a 2 in 1 book with 'Codependent No More' being published in 1987 and 'Beyond Codependency' being published in 1989. Melody Beattie, the author, is a recovered addict, alcoholic and codependent. The reason this book is so insightful is because Ms. Beattie wrote from the heart. She shares her experiences and those she has connected with vividly in this book.
I must tell you that I started this book on February 11, 2014 and to my surprise I finished it exactly a year later. The reason I spread this book out over such a long period of time was because it is not 'light & fluffy' reading. It is intense and thought provoking. This was a borrowed book, but if I owned a copy I would go through the book again and highlight many insightful and smart advice that I could pass onto my daughters.
November 30, 2012
I read this book during one of the most challenging periods of my life. Although I have not had any addictions to drugs, drinks etc - I read this book based on the back cover which talked about becoming independent and not slaved to any kind of co-dependency.
I must say the book is very powerful and actually helped me heal - I did filter out all portions not relevant to me -the book talks about the Author's challenging encounters with drugs, and other personal issues.
If you want to become liberated and independent, then you can read this book, examine your life and just apply the appropriate advice from the book, it works.
I must say the book is very powerful and actually helped me heal - I did filter out all portions not relevant to me -the book talks about the Author's challenging encounters with drugs, and other personal issues.
If you want to become liberated and independent, then you can read this book, examine your life and just apply the appropriate advice from the book, it works.
September 18, 2015
I was a sensitive child, raised in a loving but highly disciplined family. My wonderful mother, I love her so much. But she is always very adamant about how we must behave in public. Telephone and table manners, language, appearance, behaviors. I must behave like a little lady, no lols, no swear words. If I appeared "bubbly", my mom would tell me that it is not "ladylike". I should show reservation and never appear overly excited. My brother and I were the model children. Everyone asked my mother: how did you manage? They behave so well!
With my personality and family education, I grew up evaluating myself by gauging how I am received by others and seeing myself through others' eyes. I was always very attuned to other people's feelings and a huge part of me always wanted to make things better for them. I was afraid if God forbid someone is not happy with me. I never said no. If someone asks something of me, I want so desperately to give whatever they need to them, even if that means I would end up having nothing. It is most important that I behave in the most selfless manner, because mama said, I am supposed to be a great child, who always shares, always makes people happy, never appears eager and always yields. Let other people have it, show grace and generosity.
This upkeep of "acting like a true lady" who is the embodiment of virtue is so ingrained in me. My tendency of avoiding confrontation made my road to adulthood that much harder. I always wanted to make other people happy. Whoever asked, received. I would work myself to the bones or swallow my anger when other insulted me. Never stood up for myself. I was scared. It was as if I was still 5 years old and I always was on my best on the phone because, what if they complained to my mother that I was not polite on the phone?
My mother loves me and wants only the best for me. She wants me to be a great person who helps people in need, shows kindness and be understanding. I internalized those "expectatations" and turned them into a prison. This book, liberated me.
Another person who suffers from similar "symptoms" as I did, told me about this book. She said: look, you do not have to make other people happy ALL THE TIME. Nothing matters if you are miserable. And you are NOT responsible for other people's happiness.
I picked up this book with much self doubt. I did not realize that there was a "problem" with my being "proper". Co-Dependency is a topic which is prevalent in the treatment of alcoholism and substance abuse. This book dedicates a lot of pages to people who struggle with their relatinoships with significant others who suffer from substance abuse. But it also discuss at length the necessity of expressing and accepting oneselves, the importance of recognizing our own needs, emotionally or physically, not belittling ourselves and our feelings, seeing oneself in his true colors: a imperfect human being who may occassionally act in self-interest. It is not a crime nor is it immoral to want to be happy. So what if you are not nice all the time? So what if you are "a bad person"? So what, if you want the best spot in the parking lot for yourself? It is ok. Being proper and a good person, does not mean self-sacrifice. If you are not happy with how people treat you, you must tell them.
I am still a recovering co-dependent patient. I still suffer from guilt when I know someone wants something from me and I am not giving it. But this book really helped me to see that I am not responsible for other people's happiness. If they are not happy, I don't have to save the day. It is ok, if I just go home and watch TV. I don't have to take the earliest apppointment because someone else does not want to get up early. I don't have to put on a smile when someone is mean to me. I can tell them to fxck off. It is ok.
Thank you Ms. Beattie. My mother gave me life, love and support. You gave me courage.
With my personality and family education, I grew up evaluating myself by gauging how I am received by others and seeing myself through others' eyes. I was always very attuned to other people's feelings and a huge part of me always wanted to make things better for them. I was afraid if God forbid someone is not happy with me. I never said no. If someone asks something of me, I want so desperately to give whatever they need to them, even if that means I would end up having nothing. It is most important that I behave in the most selfless manner, because mama said, I am supposed to be a great child, who always shares, always makes people happy, never appears eager and always yields. Let other people have it, show grace and generosity.
This upkeep of "acting like a true lady" who is the embodiment of virtue is so ingrained in me. My tendency of avoiding confrontation made my road to adulthood that much harder. I always wanted to make other people happy. Whoever asked, received. I would work myself to the bones or swallow my anger when other insulted me. Never stood up for myself. I was scared. It was as if I was still 5 years old and I always was on my best on the phone because, what if they complained to my mother that I was not polite on the phone?
My mother loves me and wants only the best for me. She wants me to be a great person who helps people in need, shows kindness and be understanding. I internalized those "expectatations" and turned them into a prison. This book, liberated me.
Another person who suffers from similar "symptoms" as I did, told me about this book. She said: look, you do not have to make other people happy ALL THE TIME. Nothing matters if you are miserable. And you are NOT responsible for other people's happiness.
I picked up this book with much self doubt. I did not realize that there was a "problem" with my being "proper". Co-Dependency is a topic which is prevalent in the treatment of alcoholism and substance abuse. This book dedicates a lot of pages to people who struggle with their relatinoships with significant others who suffer from substance abuse. But it also discuss at length the necessity of expressing and accepting oneselves, the importance of recognizing our own needs, emotionally or physically, not belittling ourselves and our feelings, seeing oneself in his true colors: a imperfect human being who may occassionally act in self-interest. It is not a crime nor is it immoral to want to be happy. So what if you are not nice all the time? So what if you are "a bad person"? So what, if you want the best spot in the parking lot for yourself? It is ok. Being proper and a good person, does not mean self-sacrifice. If you are not happy with how people treat you, you must tell them.
I am still a recovering co-dependent patient. I still suffer from guilt when I know someone wants something from me and I am not giving it. But this book really helped me to see that I am not responsible for other people's happiness. If they are not happy, I don't have to save the day. It is ok, if I just go home and watch TV. I don't have to take the earliest apppointment because someone else does not want to get up early. I don't have to put on a smile when someone is mean to me. I can tell them to fxck off. It is ok.
Thank you Ms. Beattie. My mother gave me life, love and support. You gave me courage.
June 9, 2016
Melody Beatty makes it clear that there are many definitions of codependency. This is hers: “A codependent person is one who has let another person’s behavior affect him or her, and who is obsessed with controlling that person’s behavior. She offers a very extensive, detailed and very practical list of codependent characteristics such as: caretaking – low self-worth – repression – obsessions – controlling behavior – denial – dependency – poor communication – weak boundaries – luck of trust – anger – sex problems etc. Dependency may be manifested in various ways, for example: codependents don’t feel happy, content, or peaceful with themselves. I can certainly have identified with most of the characteristic for a very long time, especially with: weak boundaries. I have benefitted greatly from this book: very effective and very practical.
I am happy to report that, for the past several years, I have been able to avoid being trapped by codependent relationships. In Missing Links I ask the question, Our Relationships: are they Energy “suckers” or energy “busters”? See Missing Links, Chapter 10 and ff.
I am happy to report that, for the past several years, I have been able to avoid being trapped by codependent relationships. In Missing Links I ask the question, Our Relationships: are they Energy “suckers” or energy “busters”? See Missing Links, Chapter 10 and ff.
February 8, 2014
This book has changed my life. Dealing with addiction issues in your family is both challenging and exhausting and led to huge codependency issues for me. Although it has been a struggle, this book was very helpful to me
September 16, 2010
Patients kept telling me about this so I decided to read it. Definitely has some useful concepts for working with patients in recovery, or anyone who struggles to say "no" and wants to "be nice".
October 3, 2008
Really helped me out at a time in my life. Having a family history of alcohol and drug addictions in my family, makes codependancy something that I am constantly aware of.
June 26, 2018
Two classics. Recommended to me at a crucial time.
April 17, 2019
Wow, what a journey! Melody has a calm, supportive, and nurturing approach to help guide you back onto the right path. It's easy to get lost in this world and what's worse is you may not even be aware of it. That was my thought when I first realized something wasn't right. I soon realized I was never lost and I was on the right path all along, my path. This book has opened my eyes and my mind tremendously. The reader is provided with the information and activities so the reader has a more personal approach to their own recovery, so the reader understands themselves better. I heard the word "Codependent" tossed around before but never quite understood it. I now have a better understanding of Codependency and myself. This is more than a book, it is an investment into yourself.
September 30, 2008
This book was recommended to me from a professional, however I think that most, if not all, addicts would benefit from reading this book. From the beginning to the end I felt like it was a book written about me. It's written by a codependent for the codependent to help the reader with changes that might be needed in their life. Definitely for me, this is a keeper in my library of recovery books!
July 3, 2012
While it's an interesting experience to voyeuristically dig into other people's roots through (auto)biographies, or to follow the fictional musings of a literary character, it's another thing entirely to be challenged to question your own identity. This book has been a painful, liberating and life-changing read. I will say only that I am incredibly grateful to have found this book and for the friends who helped me onto the path to find it.
May 18, 2014
Proves its worth as a classic. Lots of positive messages to those struggling with a loved one who has an addiction. In addition to my own life experiences, I read this for professional reasons and feel that I can recommend it to clients and their families in the future.
A calm, validating and reassuring voice resonates throughout.
Thank you, Ms. Beattie.
A calm, validating and reassuring voice resonates throughout.
Thank you, Ms. Beattie.
February 8, 2016
I really couldn't stand this book because it kept going back to the Higher Power factor, which is not helpful at all. It's a big advertisement for 12 steps. Otherwise, it might have been interesting and helpful. It wasn't really helpful for me as a writer because any of the good insights were shaded over by what I expressed above.
May 27, 2009
what i learned from this book? what didn't i learn? i am SAFE and LOVEABLE in this world! there is a solution. [close:] what i learned from this book? what didn't i learn? i am SAFE and LOVEABLE in this world! there is a solution. [close:]
April 13, 2014
a thorough, accessible, and insightful treatment of the all-too-common phenomenon of finding one's self a co-star in someone else's life. it's never a favor to me or them. book propones but does not depend upon 12-step/religious approaches.
July 13, 2016
What an exceptional novel! Well, really 2 novels in one! My sister in law gave it to me. We're all suffering from this malady, and it's very helpful to understand the different aspects of it and how it pertains to our lives. I'd highly recommend this to everyone!
December 18, 2017
Just finished my 2nd reading of this self-help “bible” - and by using this book for personal change, it was amazing to see how different I reacted the 2nd reading through, vs the first. Awesome life changing book.
September 14, 2008
A great book to help you focus on taking care of yourself instead of worrying about other people.
January 17, 2011
So far this book has been really eye-opening. It seems to offer a promise of solving a mystery that has haunted me for years. I recommend it to anyone looking for peace in their lives.
November 20, 2011
Very 'sobering' a must read for any "caretaker" type of person....
May 23, 2014
Great self-help book!! Very eye opening!!!
January 30, 2013
Absolutely life changing. Read it multiple times after my divorce.
March 14, 2013
A classic for anyone who wants to know what Codependency is and how to overcome it.
April 11, 2014
Changed my life!
December 31, 2014
Hate that I needed this, but I did. Thanks Melody.
April 24, 2016
these books have taught me much so helpful and motivational and insightful .. excuse the cliche but life changing books .
December 3, 2016
I would rate this book 1,000,000 if I could! My life has improved significantly since reading this book in 2013.
June 13, 2017
The information is absolutely on point. It was truly eye opening. I recommend it to anyone who thinks they may be codependent. She will set you straight!
October 26, 2019
i’d been on the path to untangling the messier, uglier parts of my relationship to myself and to the people closest to me- and this book helped me unwind the last tendrils of unhelpful and occasionally harmful tendencies i’d harbored from a childhood and young adulthood surrounded by stressed out or checked out adults (who were trying their best but were also fighting against generations upon generations of harsh or abusive familial patterns). my parents and my parents’ parents did their best to say no and fight against addiction and physical abuse- but growing up in those environments leaves one with the legacy of grasping at needing things to be a certain way; in order to exert a sense of control over one’s life and “making/forcing” stability that wasn’t provided as a child. unhealthy behaviors and inefficient/harmful coping mechanisms i have spent years unlearning - and all the while learning my own ways to trust and love in a compassionate as opposed to possessing/obsessing way.
it’s written by a woman and it resonated with the messages impressed upon me (being born AFAB and socialized as a girl/young woman) but the language is not exclusively gendered and the lessons are relatable to anyone of just this experience generally.
it’s written by a woman and it resonated with the messages impressed upon me (being born AFAB and socialized as a girl/young woman) but the language is not exclusively gendered and the lessons are relatable to anyone of just this experience generally.
Displaying 1 - 30 of 57 reviews