How to Be Comfortable with Being Uncomfortable

by Ben Aldridge

Are you ready to leave your comfort zone?


Ben Aldridge is an adventurer who believes that doing challenging things makes us feel better, stronger and more alive. By routinely throwing himself into unusual situations, he has overcome his own severe anxiety and created a unique method for building mental toughness through exciting experiences. This book, containing 43 of Ben’s tried-and-tested challenges, will launch you out of your comfort zone in fun and practical ways.

* Cultivate a stronger, healthier, more resilient mindset by practising adversity in a controlled manner

* Intuitively create coping strategies for the future through adventure

* Feel calmer, happier and more at peace knowing that you are capable of facing the unexpected every day

The challenges range from long-term achievements to impressive party tricks to downright strange experiments. Are you ready to climb a mountain, learn a language, dress outrageously, induce vertigo, talk to strangers, solve a Rubik’s Cube in under a minute, take icy showers, run a race, and more?

Join Ben in his journey, challenge yourself, and change your life.

“A really great and novel way to encourage people to push themselves beyond their comfort zone and engender self- reliance” ― Levison Wood

Genres: Self Help, Nonfiction, Psychology, Personal Development, Philosophy, Health, Reference

247 pages, Kindle Edition

Published June 9, 2020

About the author

Ben Aldridge writes about practical philosophy, comfort zones, mental health and adventure. His first book "How to Be Comfortable with Being Uncomfortable: 43 Weird & Wonderful Ways to Build a Strong Resilient Mindset" is an exploration of unique ways to leave our comfort zones, face our fears and overcome our anxieties. Heavily influenced by Stoicism, Buddhism, Popular Psychology and CBT, Ben's challenges encourage us to get uncomfortable and experience the personal growth that we can only gain from pushing ourselves to the limit.

Reviews

[gee · Rating 3 out of 5]

Very simple and not very revolutionary /worthy of a book being written about, in my opinion. Hated the narrative voice.
Also really disappointed that he is encouraging people to do intermittent fasting for long periods of time - which could cause eating disorders due to the binge/restrict cycle, and there is NO acknowledgement to this.

The only good thing about this book is that most of the challenges are accessible and are a good way to ease you on to doing new things.

Don’t take this book as law, it’s just a man who found some stuff that worked for him and wrote a book about it

[☘Misericordia☘ ⚡ϟ⚡⛈⚡☁ ❇️❤❣ · Rating 4 out of 5]

Fun.
How about going via ferrata while picking locks?

[Gareth Morris · Rating 2 out of 5]

The author begins by discussion how the mind is a deep and curious thing, subject to infinite variations and gradations in feeling, nuance and understanding. He then goes on to give a set list of 43 challenges that will supposedly cure anything that (mentally) ails you.

The contradictions and inconsistencies come thick and fast after this. The author chucks in a few choice from the most buzzword-filled fields in cognitive science (CBT! Stoicism! Buddhism!) without any real discussion of how they relate to the main theme of the book. (Yes, stoicism and Buddhism is a handy tool in accepting man’s limitations, but the stoics would not go out looking for challenges, instead the central point is to be like the rock in the river of life - unaffected, immune, observing but not reacting.)

The list of challenges, while filled with many things that seem to have been lifted from the first buzzfeed article the author could find, does contain a few genuinely interesting propositions (and, as such, gained a second star for this review). However, the ‘research’ used to defend their inclusion often turns out to simply be a guide to doing the action in the first place, creating a kind of circular logic that infuriated me.

I suppose one of my biggest concerns with the book is that this method of ‘do new things to make a new you’ is ignorant of many of the finer teachings that the author supposedly espouses - where is the discussion of stoicism in the process of enduring the ice bath? I also worry that the author has not dealt with root causes of his own struggles, instead distracting himself with activities and burying it under the potentially false mantle of ‘doing’. This is only compounded by the ‘personal experience’ section of each of the challenges, where the ‘look at me!’ attitude shines through.

Ultimately, I suppose, I worry that this book is more about showing off (the author to the reader; the challenge-taker to acquaintances) than about genuinely improving outlooks. In seeking to create a modern version of the Meditations or Enchiridion, the author has unfortunately created a gilded statue to himself.

[Melissa Symanczyk · Rating 3 out of 5]

I love reading about people's self-imposed challenges, having done my own, so I figured a self-help book from this angle would be a good pick. I love the idea of setting yourself personally meaningful challenges to get out of your comfort zone, face some fears and discover what you're capable of. And I liked reading about the author's reflections of his own experiences with each challenge. From a structural point of view, though, I feel it would have been way stronger as more of a memoir (WHY did he pick these challenges and at what point in the year?) with a 'if you feel like trying something like this, here are some ideas' section at the end of each chapter. Also, the lack of any emotional challenges, especially as Aldridge mentions the benefits of therapy, is an enormous gap that makes me wonder what he's avoiding by throwing himself into every other kind of activity. :-) Also also, if you're not a fit, young, white male with a decent amount of money and a fair bit of free time, many of these challenges will be more difficult and possibly really dangerous, which I don't think he talks about enough.

Definitely some good ideas about pushing yourself and questioning that inner voice that says 'I could never do that.' But the structure didn't do it for me. :-)

[Timo · Rating 5 out of 5]

How to be Comfortable with Being Uncomfortable is a practical blueprint for building resilience and mental toughness. The author doesn't just talk about theories or something he read somewhere. He put the techniques he explains into action by doing a Year of Adversity. During that year he challenged himself in different ways. Physically, mentally and regarding skills. In the book he shares 43 of those challenges and encourages the reader to do as many of them as possible.

By intentionally doing hard things and challenging ourselves we learn how to deal with adversity and develop mental toughness. I did a couple of those challenges with a group of people as part of a book club and we all learned so much about ourselves.

I highly encourage everybody who wants to be more confident and disciplined to check out this book and put it into practice!

[Reading Cat · Rating 1 out of 5]

I hate to use the 'male privilege' phrase, but...if you're not a fit, active, healthy male, this book is not for you. It's super frustrating because there isn't even a lick of awareness that other audiences exist, much less any accommodation for them.

Okay the gist is simple: healthy young dude has a series of anxiety/panic attacks and embarks upon a series of small, self-set challenges informed by CBT, Stoicism and Buddhism. Sounds good, right? Heck if it were written as memoir, I would have liked it better, because that sounds like a big journey! (Sort of like the terrific book Phenomenal, which you should definitely read!) Instead he offers you the challenges HE took and...either they're really basic, or you're an athlete.

No, honey, it is not my 'fixed mindset' that is saying "I can't run a marathon". It is my damaged back. I don't want to run a Tough Mudder, because those events are crazily unsafe and poorly run. Like, I'm into the idea of physical challenges, but yeah, I can't hit the Dolomites for a walk in the mountains with my bestie, for a bajillion reasons. (Money, mostly).

The Kafka trap, of course, is you reading me saying, yeah I don't want to do a Tough Mudder--a race where a friend of mine literally broke her leg and had to be medevacked--because I lack a growth mindset or I am afraid of the experience. Nah, buddy, nah. I've already HAD the experience of doing something physical and getting lasting physical consequences. Checked that off my bucket list decades ago (which is why, lol, I can't run a marathon bee tee dubs).

Which leads me to the rest of them. The challenges that aren't for jocks are mostly like...people think this is hard? LIke literally he says 'go start a conversation with a stranger'. Honey. Please. I do EMS. I not only start conversations with strangers, I start conversations with strangers who are having some pretty terrible moments in their lives. I got that, in spades. Oh, go give a public speech. I teach college. What do you think I do there? Give speeches, in front of the most judgmental audience in the world--bored entitled 18 year olds. Eat gross food. Sweetie. Sweetie. I have knowingly ordered sweetbreads in restaurants. I ate raw rattlesnake once. Pffff.

I guess the takeaway is...maybe I don't NEED his book? Maybe I am more resilient not only than I thought, but more resilient than an actual marathon triathlete.

Maybe *I* should write a book? How to be a boring middle aged lady who has done more extreme crazy sh*t than a bestselling author. Huh.

[Hanna Maria · Rating 2 out of 5]

I guess I do have to preface this review by saying that I didn’t read the blurb of the book but the title sounded interesting so I just bought it to my kindle (the one-click purchase option really is dangerous sometimes). What I expected was more of a guide book with personal reflections mixed in and sure, it ticked some of the boxes. What I did not expect there to find was a list of challenges, all written down in a matter of fact way.

I’ve read a number of similar books where people reflect on their journey and what they learnt but this specific book just didn’t do it for me. I guess it’s almost not correct to say that I’ve read the book as I did read the first part up to where the challenges begun and then I just skimmed through so take what you want from the review..

[Петър Стойков · Rating 3 out of 5]

Зона на комфорта са ония неща, които не ни дразнят и не се страхуваме от тях. Ако само тях правим, постепенно те стават все по-малко - зоната на комфорта се свива и все повече неща започват да ни притесняват. Тогава се получават всякакви видове тревожни и депресивни разстройства.

Авторът точно от такова страда и решава да го лекува с разширяване на зоната си на комфорт, като прави всякакви тъпи неща. Експериментът му е успешен, но повечето от нещата наистина са тъпи, а книгата не е особено интересно написана :D

Все пак заслужава преглеждане, за да знаете за какво става въпрос и как да си разширявате съзнателно зоната на комфорт. Или поне да внимавате да не се свива.

[Sarolta · Rating 4 out of 5]

4

[Kady · Rating 4 out of 5]

A very quick read. I loved the idea of the challenges and will be trying a few myself. I was already aware of CBT and some of the other ideas in the book.

[Lisa Konet · Rating 4 out of 5]

So this book I think was meant to empower people to stop being and also using the feeling of being uncomfortable as a motivator. I enjoyed the idea of many of the challenges but a few of them were far out there and nonsensical for the kind of world we all live in today. The good take away with this was that again it is a self help book and give you (the reader/shy/uncomfortable) a sense of comfort that it is ok to be uncomfortable in scary situations like public speaking; but to use that fear an knock it on its head and be like "I am done with you, fear."

There were some preachy parts like many self-help books, but you can use as much of the advice or as little as you want. Same goes for the challenges. This was one of the better self-help books on this topic, so I would recommend it.

Thanks to NetGalley, Ben Aldridge, and Watkins Publishing for an ARC in exchange for an honest review. All opinions are my own. Available on: 6/9/2020

[Benjamin Reilly · Rating 1 out of 5]

This book has no reason to be written.

[Kristy · Rating 5 out of 5]

An excellent guide to modern stoicism and mindfulness. I love the exercises provided and the clear and simple explanations for how to apply these principles to your life.

[Becka Bronstad · Rating 1 out of 5]

Am I glad I read this book? Sure. But let me be honest here that by the end I was listening to it at 2.15x speed to just get through it. The author wrote about some things I myself am interested in doing - pushing myself to try new things, get out of my comfort zone and mark some things off my bucket list. But FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, writing a book should NOT be one of those things you casually tick off your list just to be able to say you’ve done it. There is some actual skill required in writing!

This would have been more suitable as a blog or better yet, a series of TikToks where we could observe them in action. I noticed from his website that Aldrige is now working on a card deck that one can use to randomly select and try challenges. That works. But this did NOT work for me as a book. There is simply no depth behind this checklist style of writing, despite the high-level references to the Stoicis and Buddhism. I think part of the problem was trying to cram 43 challenges into a book and still make it meaningful. I would have preferred more time be spent on just a few of the challenges or his overall experience in order to hear more about the story of how he was changed over his year of trials. How did it affect his relationships? How did it feel in his body? How did his anxiety, the reason he started this whole thing, begin to present itself differently over that year?

This was a classic example of “show me, don’t tell me,” and the result was that it came off as an excuse to brag to a captive audience about all the things he was able to learn after only a few attempts. My instinct tells me that this was not his intent, it’s just that he tried to cover too much at the expense of good writing.

I also felt there was an inherent flaw in his rating system of each challenge that probably should have been deleted altogether. Trying to rate these challenges as easy/medium/hard is entirely subjective! He rated public speaking as a level 10 difficulty (the highest level), but learning a new sport as a level 5 (medium). Clearly the level of difficulty of these depends on the individual - I speak to large groups on a daily basis and have never been terribly nervous doing so, but as someone who didn’t grow up playing sports, I have no foundation to use and would find learning an entirely new sport extremely difficult!

All in all, I was able to add a few items to my own bucket list, but that could have been accomplished more easily (and I would have gained just as much) if this had literally been written as a checklist.

[Susie · Rating 4 out of 5]

I enjoyed this book, kind of reminded me a little bit of ‘feel the fear and do it anyway’. The only criticism I have is that Picking a lock is really not a sensible idea of a skill, under the current crazy world we live in!

Thank you NetGalley for my complimentary copy in return for my honest review.

[Sarah · Rating 2 out of 5]

The social worker in me sorely felt the limitations of this one. Trauma and root causes are not named or explored at all, so this book could really be confusing and/or harmful for folks trying to make sense of their discomfort, anxiety, panic attacks, etc that are rooted in traumatic experiences, particularly given this book's "mind over matter" approach. It also doesn't take into account the connections and nuances of these in relation to identities like race, gender, ethnicity, etc. Very surface level.

I was glad that the author had an early disclaimer for folks to be careful with what we try and stay safe. But not everyone knows what is safe, and folks with traumatic experiences may struggle to distinguish what safety feels like in these situations...

I do think some readers could connect with the author and this process of self study and experimentation, but I can't recommend this book in good faith. Take with a massive grain of salt.

[Caitlin Fletcher · Rating 4 out of 5]

I really ended up liking this book! All the theory discussed is very logical and made sense to me. It inspired me to try new things. I hate the sea but while reading this book I went for a swim in the channel at 8am. And I had fun! I’m going to try and incorporate more of these boundary-pushing ideas into my life and see if I can help myself be more positive and resilient too.

[Batoul · Rating 2 out of 5]

Yeah..no.
Very surprised by the amount of 4 & 5 star reviews.
I’ve finished this book thinking about why i don’t really like self-help books no matter how much i read or try to like them. Along with the fact that this was one of the books that i came across thinking of why was there a need in the first place to WRITE this book.. Anyways.

I really started off very excited at the concept, the author was explaining several concepts & ideas like buddhism, stoicism, and CBT that would help an individual to overcome their fear of life/anxiety/mind created scenarios and problems that are magnified due to one’s thoughts and subconscious.

However, it just didn’t make much sense to me when we surpassed that point. As for the other half of the book, the author suggests a list of “challenges” that made him get out of his comfort zone for an entire year and shape “his best-self” for that time being, which i don’t necessarily agree with and i find it very tedious to force yourself onto things that you don’t like in means of “stepping out of your comfort zone and becoming a new person” it could simply lead to you detaching yourself from who you really are at some point.

Anyhow, i think practicing concepts that he mentioned & altering your mindset on several obstacles or discomfort could work, but this book isn’t by any means a general practice for everybody, he simply collected several challenges that worked for him and wrote a book about it and if you read it you’d probably get the “ I’m scrolling through instagram reading captions “ kinda vibe.

[Kat · Rating 5 out of 5]

"Having a coping mechanism for dealing with pressure and difficulties is a wise thing to invest in."

When @dothingsthatchallengeyou started experiencing intense anxiety, he made it his mission to take control of his mental health and find solutions for this irritable feeling.

Learning about Stoicism, Buddhism, Cognitive Behavior Therapy and Mindset were his first steps, all of which keep our minds accountable.

Stoicism is the philosophy that we can't control what happens to us, but we can control how we react to it. Buddhism, philosophically, indicates that our mind is the source of our suffering. CBT works on changing the way you think so that you will change the way you feel and then in regards with Mindset, there are two types - a fixed mindset and a growth mindset.

After learning these four philosophies, Ben set out on a mission to get out of his comfort zone and challenge himself. You will find these challenges in his book, and he guides you through them so that you can try them too! They're as simple as cooking a new dish to deliberately queuing and as difficult as learning a new language to completing a triathlon.

I'm going to go learn how to solve a Rubik's Cube now. Challenge accepted, Ben.

[Lisa Gering · Rating 4 out of 5]

This title was provided to me by NetGalley for my review.

This book is a super fun and introspective read! The opening sections of this book dive into foundational Stoicism and Buddism. I didn't know this book covered these topics when I chose it but was pleasantly surprised. Stoicism is especially on the rise in popularity, so I think this would be an interesting book for those looking to learn some basic concepts of the philosophy.

The book then covers various "challenges" the author suggests the reader try out to test their ability to cope with being uncomfortable. These sections are clearly identified by sections such as what the challenge is, cost, time commitment, difficulty (on a scale of 1-10), and ways to make it even more challenging. These sections of the book are quick to read because of the helpful layout and cover very interesting ideas. Some challenges are things like taking a cold shower, eating unfamiliar foods, and sleeping in a bivy.

The author's prose is engaging and humorous. I would definitely recommend this book to someone recently graduating from school or a young adult looking to challenge themselves out of a rut.

[D L · Rating 4 out of 5]

A great book.
Books similar to How to Be Comfortable with Being Uncomfortable
usually, start the same. The writer has an experience which leads to an epiphany of what is wrong with them and decides to write a book telling us how they fixed everything with one simple thing. This usually leads to the website, the expensive diary, logbook or journal which can be purchased from them at a reasonable price.
The difference with Ben Aldrridge's book is that even though he did have a life-changing event, he isn't trying to sell you anything other than advice on the different types of philosophy and psychology he thinks you will be interested in, as well as informing us of the multiple challenges he set himself and ones you can set yourself. And that is what makes this book so good.
A fun read with some interesting challenges, especially the queue challenge which made me smile. The only downside is the advocating of altitude masks to challenge yourself during fitness training.
This book was provided by Netgalley and the book publisher for an honest review.

[Anna · Rating 3 out of 5]

While I agree that doing things out of your comfort zone helps your grow and that we should do this more to be become mentally resilient, the main thing that I found frustrating about this book was that Ben made it seem that his 43 ideas were the experiences you should follow and while some are out of my comfort zone, I'm not sure what I'd gain from doing them other than just being scared for the hell of being scared. I think it's important to face your fears when you gain value or if they stop you from doing things in your life that would give you value that you want to do. Facing small meaningless tasks on his list I can understand or saying yes to seemingly scaring things more often is great advice! As well I think it's great to make a list as he suggests of things that scare you personally but perhaps you want to do... Personally while I can understand how it builds mental resilience, there are some limits I don't think are worth going to...

[Eitakbackwards · Rating 4 out of 5]

Like reading stuff like this now and then as a reminder of what I’m doing/where I’m going. It’s super quick, super practical, some challenges are things On my 2do list so that was helpful. I liked how much detail it goes into on each one so that you can actually go and do it pretty easily just off this book.

Agree with principles of it: Stoic + Buddhist principles that have led to CBT as an evidence based practise. Glad he points to other books on these topics.
Find stuff like this hard to rate because much like CBT etc. it’s a tool and the value is in how the reader applies it. 3.5 rounded to 4.

[Babs · Rating 2 out of 5]

The principle behind this book is decent enough - push yourself and see how far you can go. It starts off well with a round up of some psychological and philosophical topics to provide some background. But from then on it’s just a list of things he did over the course of a year. These seemed very personal and were not applicable to everyone which meant I skipped over quite a few.

I’d originally bought this thinking it might be good for my pre-teen son. But it’s definitely not suitable for that and I doubt he’d get much from it either.

Two stars because I did get some book suggestions from the “research” and further reading sections. But otherwise largely skippable.

[Dom Giles · Rating 2 out of 5]

This book was OK. I was hoping for a little more from it at the start as there is high level explanations of key concepts I hoped would be expanded on. I think the best way to approach the book is by ignoring its primary title. It describes little in the way of "how to be comfortable with being uncomfortable" and is very much a list of 43 challenges that the author chose and his experiences with them. The repetitive list structure was a struggle once past the first few challenges and agree with other comments that this may well have better suited another medium. Like the philosophy and wholeheartly support the idea but the book itself I would find hard to recommend.

[David · Rating 5 out of 5]

I love the idea of stepping outside of our comfort zones to build resilience. I think this book will be extremely helpful for a lot of people. The challenges are so interesting and I can’t wait to try them out! Some of them are really quirky and great fun. There are also loads of brilliant ideas and concepts to take away from the book that I will be able to now use when facing difficulty.

The author writes in a humorous and light style that I found enjoyable to read.

I absolutely loved the book and highly recommend it!

[Alex Goodwin · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was a very fun read. I struggle with anxiety, so when I heard about this book, I thought it was perfect for me. I've read a fair amount of books on stoicism and psychology and have incorporated meditation in my life, so many of the ideas were familiar. I had actually already done a few of the challenges, but this book really helped instill the right mindset in me. It also reminded me of important concepts that I've forgotten. I'm very excited about the challenges that lie ahead for me. I may do a year of adversity of my own.

[Aaron · Rating 5 out of 5]

I highly recommend this book! While a lot of the concepts are nothing new, Ben takes a fresh angle on approaching them. Most self development books have a knack for being dry Whereas this feels like I'm talking to the author, making it much more personable. Also, it's refreshing that this was written not by a PhD or Professor, but by a guy that is in most of our shoes, looking to push himself and sharing his experiences of that. I found the whole thing very nice to read.
I found I had a lot in common with Ben also, being a UK based climber with many shared fears and flaws. Maybe that's what gave this book the edge for me, but I cant rate it enough.

[Edward · Rating 4 out of 5]

I pulled an all nighter reading this, and I really did like it. Realized I am very in my comfort zone with knowing other ppl & relationships, and this seems like a decent start. I skimmed over a lot of the intro philosophy, as some of it seemed… bad lol… but I LOVED that it was mostly examples of things to do. Gave me good concrete answers of what it looks like to go out of comfort zone &c. :) will be trying some very soon !! Not all the tips are good, the fasting one sucks but, picking and choosing is a good skill to have w self help books

[Bryan Michael Gillenwater · Rating 3 out of 5]

Basically a long list of ideas to take you out of your comfort zone and guidelines for completing them and reflections from the author on overcoming the challenges involved. Gives a good introduction for CBT, Buddhism and Stoicism but at a very high level. Also reflects back on some concepts from these topics and their practical application throughout. Not exactly what I was expecting, but overall a nice read.