Every Memory Deserves Respect: EMDR, the Proven Trauma Therapy with the Power to Heal

by Michael Baldwin, Deborah Korn

An introduction to EMDR, a proven trauma therapy with the power to heal, cowritten by a world-renowned therapist and a patient who experienced transformative relief through EMDR therapy.

Trauma is a part of life.

You or someone you care about has probably experienced trauma, whether “big-T” trauma, such as emotional, physical, or sexual abuse or the more common but no less significant “little-t” trauma that can result from divorce, job loss, painful childhood experiences, or any situation where you felt worthless, afraid, or powerless. Untreated trauma can lead to long lasting effects such as depression, anxiety, PTSD, and difficulties maintaining intimate relationships.

But the good news is that we can heal—and it doesn’t have to take a lifetime. EMDR (which stands for Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) is a unique type of psychotherapy proven to help people recover from trauma and improve the quality of their lives.

Cowritten by a patient who experienced transformative relief from trauma through EMDR therapy, and a world-renowned psychologist who explains exactly how and why EMDR works, Every Memory Deserves Respect provides clear information while offering inspiration and hope.

Through compelling science, personal stories, and powerful photographic images, we learn how trauma is stored in the brain and body, continuing to cause pain and suffering, and how EMDR frees us by repatterning our thinking and emotional reactions. It explains why talk therapy has only a limited impact on trauma recovery, describes what to expect from gentle and targeted EMDR therapy, and offers guidance on how to find a therapist who is just right for you.

Genres: Psychology, Nonfiction, Social Work, Mental Health, Audiobook, Counselling, Self Help

304 pages, Paperback

First published May 25, 2021

About the author

Michael Baldwin is an accomplished leader in the communications industry, with more than 40 years of experience. He is smart, capable, and creative and also a trauma survivor actively engaged in a process of recovery. He experienced multiple forms of trauma during his childhood—physical, sexual, and emotional abuse and neglect. Michael’s life experiences, his willingness to share them with anyone who might also be struggling and seeking relief, and his successful efforts to reclaim his life through EMDR therapy prepared him to write this book. He is founder of MICHAEL BALDWIN INC, which offers branding and communications coaching, studied acting at the William Esper Studio, and has a BS from Beloit College. He lives in New York.

Reviews

[Ryan Vollrath · Rating 5 out of 5]

I wish that I'd had this book prior to starting EMDR. Most of this book is written by Dr. Korn with anecdotes/examples from Baldwin's personal healing journey. The book gave me a lot of new language and ideas to understand my own trauma recovery. It's even helping me set goals for my future. I can't recommend this one enough.

[Cee · Rating 5 out of 5]

Excellent book on EMDR for trauma survivors. The first half talks about how trauma/memories affect us and how the brain & body deal with trauma. The 2nd half explains the dynamics of how EMDR works, how to find a practitioner and an extensive list of resources.
I would definitely recommend this book with the caveat that it may bring up anxiety while you are reading it. That being said I still think it’s a positive read. I have used EMDR successfully to “cure” both my fear of heights and my fear of fire. It is truly amazing! Memories/thoughts/experiences that I had no conscious knowledge of came pouring out. EMDR allows you to see the trauma from almost an unattached view so that you can see it without your emotional pain/attachment getting in the way of understanding it.

[Alex of Yoe · Rating 4 out of 5]

As per recommendation, I've dived into yet another book on a therapeutic model. I've heard a lot about EMDR, but never knew much about it. This book was great in explaining what it is and how it can help people dealing with the effects of trauma in their lives.

This is co-written by a therapist who uses EMDR in her practice and a man who been through EMDR therapy to help face habits and setbacks in his life that are the result of childhood trauma (and which normal talk therapy wasn't helping). It includes a breakdown of what trauma is, how it can affect people, how EMDR helps in healing from trauma, and how to go about finding an EMDR therapist or determining if EMDR is right for you.

I really enjoyed learning about EMDR. Honestly, I walked away from this book very interested in trying it for myself! It's written in an easy way for the average person to understand, and I loved the dual perspectives of clinician vs client. It has beautiful pictures and a lot of resources in the Appendix, which is great. It doesn't leave the reader helpless and wondering what to do next.

My biggest complaint is that the pictures interrupt the flow of the book. I understand why they wanted to include them but they're full pages with accompanying descriptive text on the opposite page, and most of the time these pages interrupt a sentence or paragraph of the main text, which is hugely distracting and frustrating. I wish the layout had been better designed so that these artistic pages do not break the flow of the book. I ended up skipping most of them by the end. I also would've liked more input from Michael, the client author, than what was given.

The book explains its trigger warnings in the preface, including which pages to skip if you need to , which I highly appreciated. Sexual trauma is a big one, but you can skip those pages without missing much. Definitely if you're a trauma survivor of any kind looking for therapy options or you are a mental health practitioner, I'd highly recommend reading this book.

[Kristina Masone]

Not rating.

Read on the recommendation of my therapist. I found a lot of helpful information and insights for EMDR, however some of the stats and studies mentioned are misleading if you take the text at face value and don’t have any prior knowledge with the psych field.

[Auntie Aim · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a great book about EMDR. It gives a history, theory, and process as well as what a client may experience all in a voice that is conversational and not overwhelming with clinical speak. It is a quick read and worth the time.

[Stephanie AM · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.5

[Pam · Rating 5 out of 5]

I received an electronic ARC from Workman Publishing Company through NetGalley.
Well thought out and presented information about EMDR therapy. This book is written for anyone who wants to learn more about this type of therapy and/or who may be trying to decide if this could be beneficial for them. Written by someone who has been through this therapy and by a licensed therapist who treats people using this among other therapies.
The language is straightforward and terms and processes are explained clearly. Examples are provided for clarity. Every chapter includes at least one full page photo and short blurbs on white pages to allow breaks from the material and to support one more learning style.
Definitely one to own if you are considering seeking help for past trauma.

[Sandra · Rating 5 out of 5]

For anyone who is interested in EMDR therapy, or anyone who is curious about it, this book will illuminate the process. The two authors present the client's story of childhood trauma, and a renowned therapist's explanation of the science of EMDR treatment. There are numerous photos that help to illustrate the concepts and clarify Michael's story. As a therapist, I found this book to be informative and yet assessable to any reader. I have recommended it to clients who have found it to be readable and helpful to understand what EMDR has to offer them.

[Carol Campbell · Rating 5 out of 5]

I would highly recommend Every Memory Deserves Respect: EMDR, the Proven Trauma Therapy with the Power to Heal by Michael Baldwin and Deborah Korn, PsyD, to anyone in the mental health field, anyone interested in Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) therapy, or anyone who has experienced trauma. The book is authored by Michael, the client, who presents his story of childhood trauma and Deborah, the therapist, who explains EMDR therapy and treatment. #EveryMemoryDeservesRespect #NetGalley

[Kinsey · Rating 4 out of 5]

Awesome awesome read for myself as a clinician preparing to facilitate EMDR therapy, but more importantly for clients seeking out an answer to lifelong trauma effects. This is written with the client in mind, aiming to introduce them to EMDR methods, how it works, and give a rundown of how trauma affects us as well as why it stays in the brain and body. LOTS of quotes below:

"The theory behind EMDR argues that the mind can heal from psychological trauma in the same way the body heals from physical trauma; we are all physiologically geared toward the achievement of optimal health. If you have been physically injured and left with a wound, the body will naturally and spontaneously mobilize to heal that wound. The body may need a little help removing barriers (i.e., infection) to healing, but it clearly knows what to do." (pg. 25)

"Our brains evolved to perform one key task: keeping us alive to pass on our genes. Unfortunately, the hardwiring for how to do that evolved hundreds of thousands of years ago and has not yet been updated to version 2.0." (pg. 29)

"In the broadest sense, the term trauma can refer to any experience that feels overwhelming, triggers strong negative emotions, or involves a sense of powerlessness and intense vulnerability." (pg. 32)

"When we are dealt something beyond what we can handle, no matter how big or small, together with the belief that there's little or nothing we can do about it, the brain - without consulting us - grabs that experience, registers what is most important about it from a survival perspective, and sets it aside, locking it in its own little compartment. And if it doesn't get attended to or properly processed mentally or emotionally, there it remains, just beneath the surface - bearing influence, shaping decisions and reactions, and, at times, causing significant symptoms that interfere with our ability to function." (pg. 33)

"When we make room for our core emotions and their associated impulses, always experienced physically in our bodies, and allow ourselves to fully feel and process them, we are on our way to freeing ourselves from symptoms and distress and empowering ourselves to triumphantly forge ahead." (pg. 64)

"it is now commonly accepted that the brain is, indeed, capable of "holding back" memories it deems too potentially debilitating to remember." (pg. 70)

"he relied on his workaholism, our most socially acceptable addiction, to make it through each day." (pg. 79)

"people with fears or anxieties around intimacy often assume that they must have been sexually abused as children. That is not necessariliy the case. It could be that they were physically or emotionally abused and, as a result, can't tolerate vulnerability. Or, perhaps, they came from a neglectful environment in which they had to shut down any and all longing or desire, since it wasn't safe to have needs. To engage intimately, you ahve to be able to attune to your body, slow down, and relax. For many trauma survivors, that just doesn't seem safe or possible, and so attempts at intimacy often fail." (pg. 82)

"Over time, many trauma survivors find themselves alternating between states of freeze, fight, flight, and collapse." (pg. 117)

"Therapists need to be radically curious and look for clues in the body, speech, and behaviors of their clients so they can get to the rest of the story, to the hidden parts of their clients' experiences and memories - because without the whole story, we can solve only part of the problem." (pg. 129)

"It is the brain's ability to restructure itself by establishing new neural pathways as needed." (pg. 131)

"Learned patterns of behavior that become hardwired in our emotional brain are so powerful, they can compel us to respond in ways that we know are not in our own best interest." (pg. 134)

"With greater self-regulation [(using coping skills to stay within their window of tolerance)], clients are able to simply observe memories as they arise, rather than being hijacked by overwhelming emotions or physical distress." (pg. 139)

"Sometimes, even when someone's environment is intensely unstable, we find ways to slowly but steadily proceed with the work, because processing is what's needed to change patterns - to stop abusing substances or self-injuring, to find a way to leave a domestic violence or abusive work situation, or to leave home when home isn't a good place to be." (pg. 162)

"I have been known to shed a few tears as I witness the emergence of clients' strength, clarity, and self-respect. It is often quite inspiring." (pg. 200)

"The relationships we had with our caregivers serve as templates for our adult lives." (pg. 232)

"We each know how much courage and persistence it takes to initiate and stay the course. We both know that you must be lovingly relentless and relentlessly loving with yourself in the process." (pg. 271)

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[kristy_reads_ · Rating 5 out of 5]

Excellent writing about EMDR. Love how the book explained EMDR, and even though I am trained and in the process of getting certified, I was able to learn new things to incorporate into my practice! Very easy to understand this writing style. User friendly and applicable.

[Ricky · Rating 4 out of 5]

I have somewhat mixed feelings about this book, but in general it's probably the best book I'm aware of about EMDR. My reservations are primarily about the part of the book that are from the perspective of a person who has undergone this therapy. I like the parts that are from the therapist. She seems very knowledgeable and she really presents the therapy thoroughly and clearly. My problem with the client portions of this book though is that they are very sensationalistic and there are ideas such as recovered memories that are presented without any explanation. A lot of clients have a lot of anxiety that they will recover memories that they were abused by their parents or something like that, but this is just not very common. A lot of psychologists and therapists would say that it isn't even a real concept. And we can certainly look at the ways in which false recovered memories have destroyed countless lives over the past 40 years. Not to say I think that this never happens at all, but I think it's important to understand that sometimes this kind of therapy presents material that may not be 100% accurate in terms of what happened, but can still be very valuable in terms of the healing process. Not everything that comes out during EMDR is factually true but we treat it that way because it ultimately leads to a kind of freedom.

[Bxllxe · Rating 5 out of 5]

The biggest take away from this book is that EMDR is for everyone. You do not have to be diagnosed with PTSD, or really anything, for that matter, to explore this therapeutic modality. Certain diagnosis are of course going to need EMDR specifically, but I can personally attest to the efficacy of EMDR for Major Depressive Disorder, Generalized Anxiety, and Panic Disorder. The progress I’ve made sometimes doesn’t feel real, and yet the changes within me are tangible. I feel so incredibly lucky that I stumbled upon it.

If you feel that traditional talk therapy isn’t really going anywhere, hopeless that you can actually change and feel better, caught in the same loop over and over, or even just curious about EMDR, then I beg you to pick up this book. It’s a wonderfully accessible, gentle introduction to EMDR basics. There are lists of resources in the back if you decide to pursue an EMDR certified therapist.

At many points in the book I felt so seen, so heard, so acknowledged. I cried. I would recommend this book to everyone, as I would EMDR therapy.

[Michele Telerski-Rees · Rating 5 out of 5]

This wonderful book describes one person's journey through complex trauma, his life challenges as a result of that trauma and the healing process working with an EMDR based therapist. Between snippets of the author's life story we are given the brain science of trauma, its processing, and many of its possible effects. We are also introduced to the therapy tool EMDR how it works and how it allows the brain to reprocess trauma. The book is broken down into bite sized pieces which is quite helpful because sometimes the science is a lot of absorb and sometimes the author's life story is triggering for those suffering the effects of trauma.
I especially valued Deborah Korn's contributions explaining the science and what EMDR therapy looks like in step by step detail.

This book will have a limited audience because of its topic, but that right audience will be truly grateful for the work demystifying this potentially life changing therapy.

[Cheryl Schaff · Rating 5 out of 5]

This easily readable book is the compelling story of Michael Baldwin's significant childhood trauma, the powerful and long-lasting negative impacts of that trauma (resistant to most therapy) and how he healed through the therapeutic treatment called EMDR—Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing. Though she didn't treat Baldwin, Deborah Korn, Psy.D., as Baldwin's co-author, explains in digestible language why and how the treatment works effectively to relieve trauma and it's nasty consequences, what's involved and how to find a provider to treat you or someone you love. A previous consumer of therapy, I'd heard of EMDR, but knew little about its long history and was skeptical to invest my time and money in trying it. No more. If you or someone you care about is anxious, depressed, withdrawn or dysfunctional BECAUSE of some type of trauma, you'll find research-based, lifesaving information here.

[Sarah · Rating 5 out of 5]

In the past eighteen months I have read and studied quite a bit about trauma and trauma therapies. I have even done several sessions of EMDR, so I really didn’t expect to gain much if anything from this book. I was pleasantly surprised to learn a lot! Everything was very relatable and easy to understand and helped me see how I can make my own EMDR experiences even more beneficial. I loved having the perspectives of both client and clinician.

[Kt Roth · Rating 3 out of 5]

I think this is a great reference book for survivors of trauma without being overly triggering. It gives example based evidence and a very good approachable description of EMDR. The incorporation of pictures is helpful and lightens the mood on a tough topic. It felt a little bit simplified to me which accounts for my 3 star review, but it’s very much opinion based for my own personal reference as I read a great deal about psychology.

[Jocelyn M · Rating 5 out of 5]

I highly recommend this book for anyone dealing with C-PTSD. Extremely helpful, both in understanding chronic interpersonal trauma, and learning what to expect with EMDR. Reading this made me realize that the way in which a past therapist tried EMDR on me was quite irresponsible and incorrect. I have more hope for the future now.

[Hayley Bowers · Rating 5 out of 5]

I was suggested this book by a colleague after I told him I was interested in doing my EMDR training. A great book to shed light on both a personal journey and professional journey of EMDR and it’s profound impacts. Great introduction for health professionals wanting to learn more and it will be beneficial to share with clients in future.

[Hannah]

My therapist recommended I read this as part of my “journey” of working through my OCD, I really enjoyed the book! Dr Korn talks about “big t Trauma” and “little t trauma” describing different severity of memories and what that might look like in your life.

Also, I did nerd out most of the book with my fascination and appreciation for psychology and the continued education it provided me lol

[Rachel · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is a really good intro to EMDR. It provides details on what trauma therapy is, how it works, what to expect from the process, and how to find the right therapist for you. If you’ve started EMDR therapy and are struggling with elements of the process, this also provides encouragement. I liked how this had both perspectives from a patient and a therapist.

[Linda McGeever · Rating 5 out of 5]

Such a thoughtful and thorough yet concise intro to EMDR. As a layperson reader, was really helpful to see the narration blended with the theory and example cases in practice. Instilled confidence in EMDR as a very promising therapy.

[Rae Simpson · Rating 1 out of 5]

Minuteman. Had heard a workshop by the authors, intrigued that Michael had worked through bullying by his older brother with EMDR, reconciled. Pushes EMDR hard, M is a writer, other author a psychologist.

[Sandra Ibarra · Rating 5 out of 5]

Such an amazing book about EMDR! So much courage and vulnerability. The experiences and how trauma affects your body brought tears to my eyes, and also how validating for his experience and to others trauma survivors 🧡

[Marcie Mastro · Rating 5 out of 5]

Excellent book that describes trauma and how EMDR can help to reprogram the thoughts, feelings, sensations associated. Good book for all clinicians but also easy enough to read for anyone who is interested or considering EMDR to address trauma

[Yusuf Cem · Rating 2 out of 5]

The most sincere, heartfelt book I have ever read. The narrative is all over the place and the editing is horrendous, but I feel it could be useful for therapists thinking about becoming EMDR practitioners.

[Vero Geeks Torres · Rating 5 out of 5]

My therapist recommended this book before we started EMDR therapy and it was very informative and insightful. I appreciated having both perspectives. The pictures also helped with like a gentle brain break.

[Jackie · Rating 4 out of 5]

I thought several times of how much this would be a helpful tool for clients wanting to learn more about EMDR. How trauma works and impacts our body, the change triangle, what to expect, and what’s so powerful about EMDR. Overall, really enjoyed!

[Taylor Nielsen · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book was amazing! Really got in depth about the effects of trauma and how EMDR can alleviate the symptoms that we feel.

[Mariana Calderon · Rating 5 out of 5]

The power of healing and the impact in our adult relationships. Wonderful.