The Hitman's Guide to Tying the Knot Without Getting Shot

The Hitman's Guide #3

by Alice Winters

Leland
Is a nice little wedding with Blow-up Randy and Jackson My Love too much to ask for? Clearly, because someone’s trying to kill one of us… again. Generally, this would be my thing and I would jump right in singing my murder song, but they want Jackson dead and I will do anything (and I mean anything) to keep him alive—including and not limited to: ten Dobermans, bulletproof glass, and dragging Cassel in with the promise of more Jerebear. These people have no idea what they’ve done targeting the man I love because I’m coming after them. But when it feels like everything might be lost, I start to understand that I have a family now who will stand by my side and do everything they can to make sure we end this on our terms.

Jackson
When someone attacks me, it’s clear they want something from me. The issue is that I have no idea who they are or what they’re after. And if I don’t figure it out soon, I’m afraid Leland is going to smother me with his overprotectiveness (or put me in a bubble at the top of a tower). The issue is that time is ticking and with the price tag on my head, there’s no telling who is coming for me or when. Together, Leland and I have to decipher who is telling the truth in this game of life or death because I have plans to marry the man of my dreams and no one is going to stop me—especially with Leland by my side.

This 100k word book contains humor, action, romance, bad behavior on a golf course, sort of abducting a child who lacks kung fu power, enough car chases and shooting to make even Leland happy, and spontaneous singing.

Genres: M M Romance, Romance, Contemporary, Humor, Audiobook, Mystery, LGBT

330 pages, Kindle Edition

First published September 15, 2020

About the author

Alice Winters started writing stories as soon as she was old enough to turn her ideas into written words. She loves writing a variety of things from romance and comedy to action. She also enjoys reading, horseback riding, and spending time with her pets.

Follow me on Facebook where I put up short stories, teasers, and giveaways: https://www.facebook.com/groups/Alice...

Join my newsletter: https://www.alicewintersauthor.com/

Reviews

[☆ Todd · Rating 4 out of 5]

Dearly Beloved, we are gathered here today to join Leland and Jackson in holy matrimony. If they manage to survive that long.



Unlike in previous books in the series, where Leland's escapades constantly put the pair in danger, this time around, it was Jackson's old life that came back to haunt him.

So after Jackson being nearly-fatally injured, it was time for "Fiance'", aka Leland, to hunt some bitches down and make them pay. Permanently, if Leland and His Merry Band of Pew-Pews had anything to say about it.

But since Jackson had no idea who had put a bounty on his head, he, Leland, Henry, and Cassel all had to work together to track down and eliminate the threat, which turned out to be one ridiculously-silly misadventure after another, and I was sooooooo there for it. : )

And this was definitely a wild ride, guys. From 10 vicious rental dobermans (yes, *TEN*), to a "kidnapped" 7 y.o. girl, to a trampoline park, to an unexpected twist with the bad guy at the end, the action and adventure was pretty much non-stop.

I'd say that this third book had kinda-sorta moderate humor when compared to book 1, with most of the comedy working, but some bits dragging out a bit longer than I felt necessary.

There was also moderate angst, but the steam level was slightly more subdued than I remember in the previous books, but I could totally be mis-remembering there, so take that with a grain of salt.

The story kept hinting about Cassel and Jeremy's inevitable relationship, so when there was no forward movement on that front, I was slightly disappointed, so I'm hoping (*cough-PRAYING-cough*) that there is another book for Cassel, who as Leland's pseudo little brother, I love dearly.

I'd rate this current story at around 4 stars and certainly recommend it to fans of the series without an ounce of hesitation.

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[Jilly · Rating 5 out of 5]

I'm just saying that if someone tried to kill MY husband and almost succeeded, I would also consider getting a pack of dogs to protect him. This is a perfectly logical and sane way to keep him safe. How often do you hear about people being murdered with a pack of dogs surrounding them? I bet you said "never", right? That's because it doesn't happen, and if nobody has ever been murdered while surrounded by a pack of dogs, it just science to know that it's because of the dogs.


Protecting the humans, of course. Thank you, science!

So, yeah, someone wants to kill Jackson and this freaks Leland out a bit. He does what he does best: kill everyone and let God sort it out (after getting the dogs, of course). Gosh I love him!

This book was hilarious and adorable while still having enough bloodshed that it made me happy. Now, I need to go wake up my husband and tell him that I have just had the best idea for home security. He loves when I wake him up with my ideas!


See? Nobody trying to kill these guys. This is going to be great!

[Lucie V. · Rating 4 out of 5]

✅ Hilarious moments and banter
✅ Cute romance (MM)
✅ Smut
✅ Characters
✅ Mystery and investigation
✅ Action
✅ Pace and plot
✅ 2 POVs
✅ More of Henry and Cassel
❗️❗️Trigger warnings: mentions of murders (not graphic)


The craziness continues...

Leland and Jackson are finally planning on getting married, and living happily ever after... That is, if they manage to stay alive long enough, which might be hard considering that someone is after Jackson, and there is even a price on his head. Leland enters his "crazy-protector" mode, and will stop at nothing to eliminate the threats and keep his beloved fiancé safe.

I will keep this one short and sweet for now:
- More Leland craziness
- More sweet moments between Leland and Jackson
- OTT plans to keep Jackson safe
- More dogs (because Leland doesn't know how to be reasonable)
- New additions to the sex dungeon (no more sasquatch role-play, thankfully)
- More of Henry being a grumpy sweetheart
- More of Ava (I don’t like her, but I love how Leland interacts with her, and how he and Jackson are trying to get rid of her)
- More OTT situations
- More of Cassel, and a teeny tiny bit of Jeremy
- THE fence
- Teeny ninja in formation (Leland is still in the process of teaching her how to attack and shiv people...)

If you enjoyed the first two books, you will love this one for sure.



1. The Hitman’s Guide to Making Friends and Finding Love ⭐⭐⭐⭐.5
2. The Hitman’s Guide to Staying Alive Despite Past Mistakes ⭐⭐⭐⭐.5



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[Chelsea · Rating 5 out of 5]

I didn't know I could read 3 books, back-to-back, with three main characters that I enjoy THIS thoroughly omg.
Leland, Jackson and the fence.......... 🤣🤣🤣

Jackson:


Leland:


Me still giggling at fence jokes 3 books deep:


The side characters are all god-tier, and the addition of 11 dogs in this book, just really tipped the scales into unhealthy obsession zone for me. I love them so much.

IT HURTS, MY CHEST, I'M DYING, IT HURTS 💖💖💖💖

🐀🐀🐀🐀🐀✨

[Deborah · Rating 4 out of 5]

Re-read 10th - 12th April 2021

4.5*

I absolutely adore Leland. And this is another crazy. Completely OTT adventure.

While planning their wedding. Someone tries to kill Jackson. Now obviously they picked the wrong fiancé to pick on. Leland will stop at nothing to protect the man he loves.

Before he resorts to the bubble on top of the tower. We have Dobermans and guns (lots and lots of guns).

All are favourites are here. Including the indestructible fence post.

We have murder and mayhem. And also cute little seven year old Mila.

”Oh no, no. You don’t make a shiv! Leland! Stop!” Jackson says.
“Why? She was watching this dumb cartoon where they stabbed someone with a watermelon slice, Jackson. I don’t want her to go into a bar fight thinking that watermelon’s going to work. You at least need a carrot and you can’t go through the ribs. Repeat after me: Can’t go through ribs.”
Mila nods since she already learned this an hour ago. “Can’t go through the ribs!” she says excitedly.

Another fabulous funny read.

[Kaity · Rating 5 out of 5]

Reread/Relisten#4: October 2024

Definitely still love these two just as much!

Reread/Relisten#3: December 2023/January 2024

Upping the rating for this book, because this one might be my favorite of the series so far!

Now on to Jerebear and Cassel!!

Reread/Relisten#2: August 2023

Love these characters. haha nothing makes me laugh or smile more than Leland's shenanigans and how Jackson/everyone else goes along with them haha

4-4.5 stars: January 2021

this was a cute book, loved jumping back in the world with Leland, Jackson, Cassel, Henry, and Jerbear.

I wish we got more with Cassel and Jeremy, but maybe they will get a book of their own? (*fingers crossed*)

Will always recommend this series, still one of my all time favorites!!

[Rachel Emily · Rating 5 out of 5]

ETA 2: Who me, listening to this for the third time in a year? God I love this series.

ETA: Michael narrating the entire car chase scene? When Leland is singing his "Murder here, murder there" song? IT KILLS ME. That entire chapter, all the sass and the singing. I just. OMG. If you were on the fence about this series you MUST get it in audio!!


The audiobook of this is just sheer. Brilliance. Michael does the most amazing job of narrating this and making Leland so hilarious and wonderful! His accents and singing and sass are just some of the very best.

I love Jackson and Leland together - their snark and love and interactions are hilarious and fun. I love them so much.

I can’t wait for Cassel to get his book!

[M.I.A · Rating 4 out of 5]

*4.25 Stars*
“I love you too and I’m willing to burn down the entire world for you,” he says.

“When others would say that, it would just be cute, but with you, I’m positive you really would without hesitation.”

He gives me an eager nod. “Ohhhh yeah. It’d be a Lelandocalypse.”

“Sounds devastating and slightly romantic,” I say.

I adore Leland. There is really no character like him.
Charmingly insane.
Gun-Wielding.
Dog obsessed.
Crime magnet.
ex-Hitman

Never change dear Leland. What's even more endearing is how Jackson just embraces all the ridiculousness and loves him unconditionally. *happy sigh*

This series is ridiculously fun. I was tear-crying pretty much the entire time, which is a given when Alice Winter wields humor and banter.

“Where the hell did you get the child?” I ask.

“What child?” He looks down and then waves to her. “Oh, this? This is a neck warmer.”

“The child clinging to you.”

“One does not simply ‘get a child,’ Jackson. You silly, silly man.”

I stare at Leland, extremely confused. I feel like I’m the one at fault here but for what, I’m not sure. I didn’t kidnap a child and put it in the closet. I’m not wearing the child as a necklace and pretending it doesn’t exist.

How can one not love Leland? He's so utterly devoted to Jackson. Would burn down worlds, gun down anyone who dare touch his fiancé, harass all within reach, hire killer dogs to protect him and wrap him up in bubble wrap and tuck him safely in a tower if all else fails. 😍

Highly recommend for anyone looking for some fun with their romance! Not a stand-alone, also the first book is EVERYTHING!!

[Gustaf · Rating 5 out of 5]

I loved this book. This series have been a journey. I fell in love with the first book, was super excited for the second and almost didn't like it at all, everything I loved about the first book annoyed me in the second book. In this one though, all the love I felt for the first book came back with full force. I think I have it figured out though. This series works for me on audio but not on paper. Simple as that.

In this book it's not Leland's trouble coming back to hunt them, but Jackson's which was a nice change. Leland however is not having any of it. He's ready to destroy heaven and earth and everything in between on his way to find out who wants to hurt Jackson... and it was epic. While this book contains the same amount of over the top humor from Leland we also got to see a new, softer sider from him. In between hiring ten Doberman Pincher's as protection and Leland figuring out how to talk to children we got to see how much Leland and Jackson love and care for each other.

Kudos to the author for not leaving it with a simple epilogue after the action is done. We got a lot of time for Leland and Jackson tying the knot. That was fantastic.

[Dani · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.5
Still funny, still love Leland, just felt like a lot of the book was unnecessary 🤷🏼‍♀️

[Sheena · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.75/5 stars

[Debra ~~ seriously slacking on her reviews ~~ · Rating 4 out of 5]

If you've read the first two books, then you pretty much know what you're in for in this one. Leland and Jackson may be getting married, but that doesn't stop them from being the same characters you know and love. Banter, shenanigans, guns, and mayhem. This time it's Jackson whose past is coming back to kill him.

Leland seems to be having more of those sweet moments here, where he's temporarily unguarded and emotional, but never fear it doesn't last long and he's back to his snarky self. Jackson is the strong support he always is, regardless of how ridiculous Leland's plans are.

Leland dealing with a 7 year old was priceless and the wedding is pretty perfect. If you're a fan you'll enjoy it. I'm glad to see that there will be more coming in this universe.

[Cadiva · Rating 5 out of 5]

More outrageous mayhem with Leland

I'm running out of things to say about this series that aren't just more in the vein of "it's utterly brilliant and I laughed my head off (not literally obviously 😉) at Leland's antics.

There's more crazy mayhem during the run up to the wedding, with Jackson's past coming back to haunt them this time round.

All the usual suspects are on hand to add to the crazy!

[Evelyn Bella (there WILL be spoilers) · Rating 4 out of 5]

Leland continues to do murder twink things, almost smothers Jackson with love. So...the usual.

Oh, and they get a child. Kind of. Sort of.

And get married. The pep talk this man required to get rid of wedding nerves?

"Think of how much you love harassing him. Now you get to harass him for the rest of your lives."

I think I'm done with my slump so I'm going back to books with cheating between MCs. Plus I don't want to get oversaturated with these two to a point where I don't enjoy the other books. So I'll get back to them later.

[Jazer (catching up on TBRs) · Rating 5 out of 5]

I don't know why I find it so funny and sweet but Leland feeling the urge to pull a trigger whenever he's flustered was too damn cute. Too Yandere material. LOL When I started this series, I always comment on how deranged Leland was. But now, I'm so proud to say, they were now BOTH deranged. 😂 I'm happy they became a team in all these actions as opposed to just Leland sneaking away and doing his thing. It hurt my heart a bit when Jackson was hurt and Leland was devastated but they were always stronger working together.

I LOOOOOOVE the wedding scene so much! Simple, fluffy, and funny. Not too much fuss but lots of fun and touching parts. ❤️❤️❤️

As the side of his jacket lifts just a touch, I can see the hint of a gun at his side and my love for him explodes. He squeezes my hands as he leans in.
“I wore it just for you.”
“I love you so much.”
How can this man know me so well?

Also, I don't think Henry gets enough credit but ever since agreeing to silence, he's been a solid support for the couple. He grumbled and complained a lot but he always came to their rescue when asked for help. He already cared about Jackson a lot but now, he had begrudgingly grown fond of Leland, too! 😍

Henry sighs again, which makes me smile. I’ve always wondered how we’re able to con him into our crazy ideas.

Cassel, on the other hand, was a man-child when he's not a genius hacker. His awkward infatuation with Jerebear was just funny and he made a really good addition to Leland's family. (I feel like I've already said that before.) He's seriously more like Leland's kid than Mila, though Mila would make a really cute mini Leland. 😂

[Vicki · Rating 5 out of 5]

Action and hilarity aplenty.

Another brilliant book in the series that had me laughing from the start and eagerly turning the pages desperately wanting to know what happens next in this adventure.

Jackson and Leland are having to figure out who is trying to kill Jackson all whilst Leland once again smothers him with overprotective ness. With the usual snark, witty banter, sarcasm and a bullet proof vest as well as some more over the top “Leland” type safety measures.
Leland also has to deal with a lot of feels. He still as problems dealing with emotions, overwhelming love that makes his chest hurt and leaves him feeling weird and gross, and overwhelming pain that leaves him determined.

There’s a few twists in the tale to keep you guessing, lots of action, romance that’s a mix of sweet and tender and steamy heat, edible underwear, car chases, the best side character ever - The Fence, and wedding vows that are pure Leland! Yep, these two wonderfully loveable characters finally get their wedding.
I’m very excited to see where their next adventure leads them.

[Ditte · Rating 5 out of 5]

Reread August 2024: Upping rating to 5 because I'm loving this book even more the second time around. This series has become a comfort reread.
__________

Another hilariously funny book about Leland and Jackson. 

Someone is targeting Jackson so obviously Leland has no choice but to go full on assassin to defend his man. I love these guys, the books are absurdly funny, and I really liked the addition of Mila for part of this one. 

[L Ann · Rating 3 out of 5]

I always feel so conflicted when rating these stories because while they aren’t bad, I don’t particularly like them… but I keep reading them, so maybe I kind of do? I don’t know. This was a little better than the last story but, once again, I felt like the outcome of the mystery was underwhelming and my only reaction was slight confusion and annoyance at how pointless it all was. There were a lot of funny moments that made me laugh and I didn’t think the smut was as cringy as it was in the last story so I’m going to count this as a win. As usual, Michael Ferraiuolo does an amazing job narrating and I’m looking forward to reading Cassel’s story before reading the final book. 3 stars

The Hitman’s Guide to:
Making Friends and Finding Love 3.75 stars
Staying Alive Despite Past Mistakes 2.5 stars
Tying the Knot Without Getting Shot 3 stars

[Shelby · Rating 5 out of 5]

4.5 Stars

I just have to remind myself every time going into these stories to just accept the absurdity. Because if you can accept the absurdity of the humor, and Leland's over the top personality, these stories are so much fun. Leland and Jackson are gearing up to finally have their wedding happen, well after Leland gets done making everyone call Jackson "Fiance" for awhile. But a strange case showing up in their agency ends up with Jackson getting shot and Leland going into over protective mode determined to protect Jackson at all costs...even if that includes putting him in a bubble tower.

I love this group so much. Leland in some ridiculous way is glue that binds them all together. His ridiculous, over the top antics, are creepily charming and just draw everyone into his orbit. He's been alone for so long that having friends is still new and strange to him. And well the feels make his chest all weird. ;)

For once the trouble on their doorstep isn't related to Leland and it's throwing him for a loop. He hates having any trouble targeting Jackson, but there's no way to get Jackson out of this one without figure out what in his past has caused this to happen. So off we go with one too many guns attached to our person. Well Jackson would probably say one to many. Leland, you can never have enough guns. Pretty babies.

I'm looking forward to seeing how things come together in the next installment. And well Cassell's story can't come soon enough in my reading either. ;)

[Sanaa · Rating 4 out of 5]

4 stars.

You will either love this series or you won't like it at all. Fortunately for me, I actually ended up enjoying this so much. Who knew, Jackson and Leland would end up being one of my favorites.

[Shannon · Rating 5 out of 5]

Alice Winters has done it again! Just when I think I can't love Leland and Jackson more than I already do, she gives us this, The Hitman's Guide to Tying the Knot Without Getting Shot. From the title alone I knew we were in for the good stuff, I just didn't know how good!

There are laughs galore, enough sweetness and love to cause Leland major suffering, and plenty of action, adventure, and suspense to keep your heart pounding. And there may have even been a tear or 2 shed, as well. This book was full of surprises, and one in particular might have actually been the highlight of this book for me- there were some literal laugh out loud moments for sure!

I think it's safe to say The Hitman's Guide #3 is my favorite of the series so far. I love how much these 2 love each other, so much! I adore the way Leland would do absolutely anything to keep Jackson safe, and we really get to see that in this book. And Jackson would do anything for Leland as well. It makes my chest feel all tingly when I read the parts where they're thinking about each other. This book has everything we've come to love about these characters, on just a deeper level. I don't think I'll ever get tired of reading about Leland, Jackson, Henry, Cassell, and even Jerebear. I don't know what's in store next, but I will be here for it!

[Bookreader87(Amanda) · Rating 3 out of 5]

So I listened to these books one after the other and perhaps that was not the best idea. I used to think Leland was a bada$$ but not so much anymore. Every mission he goes on he makes some sort of mistake or he gets distracted. He actually doesn't do much to claim the title of bad$$. I think I wanted him to be more like Lavendar (in K. Sterling's series). Talking about guns is not the same as using them. Listening to the books in a row made me realize he doesn't really do that either. Do I still like him...of course. He and Jackson together are great. Is he a bit OTT...heck yeah. Will I listen to Cassel's story on audio...duh! So what's the point of this review...idk...just thinking out loud 🤷🏽‍♀️😆

[Bookreader87(Amanda) · Rating 3 out of 5]

Leland 💜 Jackson

We are back with our favorite former hitman Leland and fiancé aka Jackson. In this one it is Jackson's past that has come back to get him.
When Jackson served he worked for a team that was unknowingly to him doing illegal stuff. Now someone has put a price on Jackson's head and this won't due for Leland. Leland is determined to find out who is trying to kill Jackson and destroy them.
Overall, a solid read. My favorite parts happened to be Leland's interaction with Mila, which were adorable, and the scenes with action because that is when Leland is most badass. The 3 star rating was due to 80% of this being Leland's over the top silliness and 20% story. When the story comes through it actually shines. The other stuff was just too much for me. Similar to my feelings on book 1. I also continue to love Jackson and Leland's relationship so if there is more I will be back for it 😁

[Kristel (hungryandhappy) · Rating 5 out of 5]

I just love them so much!

[Joyfully Jay · Rating 4 out of 5]

A Joyfully Jay review.

4.5 stars

The Hitman’s Guide to Tying the Knot Without Getting Shot is the third book in the fabulous Hitman’s Guide series. It’s been about a year since the last book released, and I didn’t realize how much I had missed Leland and Jackson until I picked this one up. They are a couple with Winters’ trademark humor and banter and craziness. And Leland is totally insane on about a million levels. But what stands out most for me here is how intensely in love these guys are. It’s hard to imagine two men adoring each other more, and they basically have hearts coming out of their eyes around one another. Even as Leland is doing another crazy thing that should make Jackson annoyed, Jackson can’t help but find Leland endearing. Or at the very least, he can’t bear not to indulge every one of Leland’s ridiculous whims. I particularly enjoyed watching Jackson play along, sometimes giving as good as he gets when things get particularly outrageous. So I really had fun with these guys here and I loved seeing their incredibly strong bond (plus, we get a lovely wedding scene that made me all misty).

Read Jay’s review in its entirety here.

[Athira · Rating 5 out of 5]

Leland and Jackson are back and it's better than ever! This is the third book in the series and cannot be read as a standalone.

Leland is still crazy as ever but he's also grown quite a bit. Love the character development. Also he's even more of of a sexy badass!! (Playing cards 🔥)

Jackson is in danger this time around so we get over protective Leland with 10 (10?!) guard dogs! This was such a fun ride and Leland and Jackson always make me laugh with their shenanigans.


I adore Cassel and I'm glad we see more of him it this book. I cannot wait for his book!! If you love dogs, a kid, Leland's precious guns, the sweetest wedding vows, The Fence and Leland's special brand of crazy, then what are you waiting for? Highly recommend this series as a whole! And honestly, this is my favourite of the series!!

*ARC provided by the author in exchange for an honest and unbiased review

[Joscelyn Smith · Rating 5 out of 5]

The wonderful Leland and Jackson once again had me laughing so hard. I like to think of the storyline as 'The Himan's Guide 3: In which it is learned why targeting Jackson is a horrible idea that could shorten your life expectancy' 😂. This series continues to deliver top-notch writing filled with snark and hilarity in equal measure, I loved every minute.

*I voluntarily reviewed an ARC of this book*

[Kenny Danewitz raveh · Rating 3 out of 5]

It was an ok read but the non stop jokes are getting a bit old. the story was intriguing, finding out about "boring" Jackson's past biting him in the *** but the solution wasn't that interesting so only 3 stars. not sure I'm up for another but maybe just a little break will do.

[L Cherry · Rating 4 out of 5]

little sweet, little sexy, lot of funny!

This is such a fun series. I just love Leland and wish I new someone so fun to be around. This could really be a great series for any of the many streaming services. This is going into my 2022 favorites!

[Diane Dannenfeldt · Rating 5 out of 5]

Okay so in this latest addition, we are looking forward to the big day :) We also have someone out to kill Jackson and, almost succeeding, Leland goes a little overboard in trying to keep him safe. Picture a house with 10 Dobermans, those are not small dogs and I can't even. There is nothing, and I mean nothing, Leland won't do to keep those he loves safe and he loves Jackson with all his soul. The person behind the attempted killing of Jackson was not readily apparent. I did not get that "there, right there, that is the bad guy" moment & it kept me guessing until they admitted what was going on. I think we see more of Cassel in this book then we saw in the prior ones & I just adore him. I don't think Jerebear is good enough for him & he needs to find someone more amazing. I absolutely love Daddy Henry & he cracks me up when he just goes along with whatever Leland says. Oh and poor Blow-up Randy, he didn't deserve that! But that ending, it was just perfect. I wonder if the next book will be them on their honeymoon & what troubles they can get up to there.

ARC provided by the author in exchange for an honest review.