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Don't Ask if I'm Okay
Heartfelt and bittersweet, this coming-of age story explores the tender space of healing where grief meets love
A year ago, Gage survived a car accident that killed his best friend, Hunter. Without the person who always brought out the best in him, Gage doesn’t know who he is. He likes working as a fry cook and loves his small-town friends and family, but they weren’t in the wreck and he can’t tell them how much he’s still
hurting. He just wants to forget all his pain and move on.
So when his stepdad shows him a dream job opening in one of his idol’s restaurants, Gage knows this is his chance to convince everyone and himself that he’s fine. To try to push past his grief once and for all, Gage applies for the job, asks out a crush, and volunteers to host a memorial for Hunter.
But the more Gage tries to ignore his grief, the more volatile it becomes.
When his temper finally turns on the people he loves, Gage must decide what real strength is—holding in his grief until it destroys him, or asking for help and revealing his broken heart for all to see.
A year ago, Gage survived a car accident that killed his best friend, Hunter. Without the person who always brought out the best in him, Gage doesn’t know who he is. He likes working as a fry cook and loves his small-town friends and family, but they weren’t in the wreck and he can’t tell them how much he’s still
hurting. He just wants to forget all his pain and move on.
So when his stepdad shows him a dream job opening in one of his idol’s restaurants, Gage knows this is his chance to convince everyone and himself that he’s fine. To try to push past his grief once and for all, Gage applies for the job, asks out a crush, and volunteers to host a memorial for Hunter.
But the more Gage tries to ignore his grief, the more volatile it becomes.
When his temper finally turns on the people he loves, Gage must decide what real strength is—holding in his grief until it destroys him, or asking for help and revealing his broken heart for all to see.
Unknown Binding
Published May 16, 2023
22 people are currently reading
5533 people want to read
About the author
Jessica Kara
2 books38 followersJessica Kara is the contemporary pen name of fantasy author Jess E. Owen. Jessica writes quiet, optimistic contemporary stories of teens overcoming their misbeliefs and personal challenges. She is the author of A Furry Faux Paw and Don't Ask If I'm Okay (2023), as well as The Summer King Chronicles and the forthcoming Dragon Star Saga.
Jess currently resides in northwest Montana.
Jess currently resides in northwest Montana.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 53 reviews
May 22, 2023
✰ 4 stars ✰
“Imogen rests her hand on mine, Mia presses hers over Imogen’s, and Bryson’s big hand tops us off.
“Thanks for coming.” I make a point of meeting their eyes. “For sharing.”
“And caring,” Mia says with a wry grin. The rhyme is cheesy, but the truth of it binds us. Hunter made it silly so we would always smile.
“And why do we come together?” I ask firmly. Our hands flex against each other’s and Imogen leads us off as we all say:
“Because lone wolves die alone.”
Is there a limit to how long one person can grieve? is there a statute of limitations that informs humans that after a certain period of time, they have to let go of the feelings of pain and loneliness and sadness in order to move on with their lives? Can someone's own tragedy of loss be measured against someone else's and then expect them to overcome the depression to respond the same way - in a manner you might not find yourself entirely comfortable with? Letting go and moving on is not easy - it never is - and for Gage, the protagonist in Jessica Kara's latest novel Don't Ask If I'm Okay it might be the hardest thing he ever has had to face.
There was so much raw emotion in this book that was so viscerally written that I really could feel Gage's loss - who wouldn't? How can you move on from the death of a loved one so dear, a cousin who was like a brother, a best friend who felt like a soulmate - someone that died right before your eyes, from a drunk driver car collision the both of you were in. 💘💘
Gage - my heart hurt for him so much - how he really was trying to fight the panic attacks - to overcome his fear of riding in cars again - to be able to talk about Hunter without it feeling as if he was being stabbed repeatedly with even the memory of him that wouldn't leave him. Those beautiful shards of grief that tormented him was so well portrayed - realistically so - that if he didn't have the wonderful support system in the form of his friends, I don't know how he would have managed. 🥺🥺
He was part of a wolf pack - a group of friends so fiercely ingrained in friendship and love - a bond so deep that to see that they actually cared about him - that they wouldn't judge him for his fears - shame him for his actions - abandon him from the pack - 'that I’m broken and they still love me' - brought tears to my eyes and uplifted my heart with such a soaring feeling of happiness. 🫂🫂 How they rallied behind him - not only when he needed help for saving Justine, but even to get together to remember Hunter - to cherish and remember his memory in a healthy yet fun way that would the pain hurt less. 😢
“All we can control is to do the best we can by each other, and make sure that no one goes into the woods alone.”
With their cheesy Lord of the Rings references, with their playful puns but kind words, they reassured Gage that he never has to grieve alone - that they're with him, come hell or high water. It's a simple story, laid out in a sparse moment of time - but the writing pulls you into their little cozy world - invites you into their hearts of sadness, of joy, of friendship. 🙏🏻🙏🏻 All the characters felt so very fleshed out - almost as if they were real ordinary people - but with such big hearts - never acting over the top - never once feeling as if their reactions were out of place - the storyline just flowed like water - a ripple in their messy yet beautiful lives.
Gage's relationship with all the characters is detailed with such gentleness and care - because Hunter's death tragically affected all their lives - he was a son, a brother, a friend - a life can not leave one's life and not expect to feel it - maybe, some more than others, like Gage did. 💔
But with the love and care of the people around him, together with their tender care and guidance, he'll find a way to not let it define his life, but be able to grow from that vulnerability - that feeling of loss, instead. And that was something that really resonated within me - something I deeply admired and thought was so well portrayed in this heart-breaking yet beautiful story.
And before you finish reading, one of the little jokes shared that if you're having a rough day, that I hope will help turn your frown upside down,
“What did the biscuit say to his sad friend?”
“Don’t worry. Tomorrow will be butter.”
“Imogen rests her hand on mine, Mia presses hers over Imogen’s, and Bryson’s big hand tops us off.
“Thanks for coming.” I make a point of meeting their eyes. “For sharing.”
“And caring,” Mia says with a wry grin. The rhyme is cheesy, but the truth of it binds us. Hunter made it silly so we would always smile.
“And why do we come together?” I ask firmly. Our hands flex against each other’s and Imogen leads us off as we all say:
“Because lone wolves die alone.”
Is there a limit to how long one person can grieve? is there a statute of limitations that informs humans that after a certain period of time, they have to let go of the feelings of pain and loneliness and sadness in order to move on with their lives? Can someone's own tragedy of loss be measured against someone else's and then expect them to overcome the depression to respond the same way - in a manner you might not find yourself entirely comfortable with? Letting go and moving on is not easy - it never is - and for Gage, the protagonist in Jessica Kara's latest novel Don't Ask If I'm Okay it might be the hardest thing he ever has had to face.
There was so much raw emotion in this book that was so viscerally written that I really could feel Gage's loss - who wouldn't? How can you move on from the death of a loved one so dear, a cousin who was like a brother, a best friend who felt like a soulmate - someone that died right before your eyes, from a drunk driver car collision the both of you were in. 💘💘
Gage - my heart hurt for him so much - how he really was trying to fight the panic attacks - to overcome his fear of riding in cars again - to be able to talk about Hunter without it feeling as if he was being stabbed repeatedly with even the memory of him that wouldn't leave him. Those beautiful shards of grief that tormented him was so well portrayed - realistically so - that if he didn't have the wonderful support system in the form of his friends, I don't know how he would have managed. 🥺🥺
He was part of a wolf pack - a group of friends so fiercely ingrained in friendship and love - a bond so deep that to see that they actually cared about him - that they wouldn't judge him for his fears - shame him for his actions - abandon him from the pack - 'that I’m broken and they still love me' - brought tears to my eyes and uplifted my heart with such a soaring feeling of happiness. 🫂🫂 How they rallied behind him - not only when he needed help for saving Justine, but even to get together to remember Hunter - to cherish and remember his memory in a healthy yet fun way that would the pain hurt less. 😢
“All we can control is to do the best we can by each other, and make sure that no one goes into the woods alone.”
With their cheesy Lord of the Rings references, with their playful puns but kind words, they reassured Gage that he never has to grieve alone - that they're with him, come hell or high water. It's a simple story, laid out in a sparse moment of time - but the writing pulls you into their little cozy world - invites you into their hearts of sadness, of joy, of friendship. 🙏🏻🙏🏻 All the characters felt so very fleshed out - almost as if they were real ordinary people - but with such big hearts - never acting over the top - never once feeling as if their reactions were out of place - the storyline just flowed like water - a ripple in their messy yet beautiful lives.
Gage's relationship with all the characters is detailed with such gentleness and care - because Hunter's death tragically affected all their lives - he was a son, a brother, a friend - a life can not leave one's life and not expect to feel it - maybe, some more than others, like Gage did. 💔
But with the love and care of the people around him, together with their tender care and guidance, he'll find a way to not let it define his life, but be able to grow from that vulnerability - that feeling of loss, instead. And that was something that really resonated within me - something I deeply admired and thought was so well portrayed in this heart-breaking yet beautiful story.
And before you finish reading, one of the little jokes shared that if you're having a rough day, that I hope will help turn your frown upside down,
“What did the biscuit say to his sad friend?”
“Don’t worry. Tomorrow will be butter.”
June 3, 2023
2023 reads: 169/350
a year ago, gage survived a car accident that his best friend hunter did not. feeling the need to be strong for his family and his friend group, he keeps everything inside, which becomes increasingly difficult, as evidenced by his outbursts.
while i do recommend this, i want to do so with caution. i think anyone who’s just lost someone and is still moving through the grieving process could be triggered by this book since grief is its focus. as for the car accident aspect, i have never been in a serious car accident, so i can’t say with complete certainty, but it might be a little bit triggering. there are a couple flashback scenes, but they didn’t go into gory detail.
i really appreciated the depiction of grief in this book. i feel like grief is often represented as people being extremely sad and no other emotion (not saying this is a misrepresentation—just that it’s not representative of every single person who’s grieved). i liked how gage had a lot of different emotions, some of which he displayed in unhealthy ways, because it just made him feel so much realer to me. i loved going on this journey with him.
a year ago, gage survived a car accident that his best friend hunter did not. feeling the need to be strong for his family and his friend group, he keeps everything inside, which becomes increasingly difficult, as evidenced by his outbursts.
while i do recommend this, i want to do so with caution. i think anyone who’s just lost someone and is still moving through the grieving process could be triggered by this book since grief is its focus. as for the car accident aspect, i have never been in a serious car accident, so i can’t say with complete certainty, but it might be a little bit triggering. there are a couple flashback scenes, but they didn’t go into gory detail.
i really appreciated the depiction of grief in this book. i feel like grief is often represented as people being extremely sad and no other emotion (not saying this is a misrepresentation—just that it’s not representative of every single person who’s grieved). i liked how gage had a lot of different emotions, some of which he displayed in unhealthy ways, because it just made him feel so much realer to me. i loved going on this journey with him.
June 7, 2023
Thank you to Turn the Page Tours and the publisher for providing me with a finished copy in exchange for an honest review!
3.5 stars
Although this is a quiet book, it is one with full, blurry, colorful emotions. It’s never easy to read about grief—especially since grief does not always bring out the best in us—but it’s clear that Gage is never truly alone, no matter how isolated he might feel. Even though living with PTSD and survivor’s guilt is difficult enough, there are other forces, such as the pressures from his father, that complicate Gage’s mental health. If you enjoy heavily character-driven novels, you’ll enjoy Gage’s progression throughout. I appreciated that even when Jessica Kara steered straight ahead into the ugly side of grief, my heart still constantly aches for Gage. From family to friends to a budding romance, there are so many beautiful connections throughout Gage’s journey to healing.
3.5 stars
Although this is a quiet book, it is one with full, blurry, colorful emotions. It’s never easy to read about grief—especially since grief does not always bring out the best in us—but it’s clear that Gage is never truly alone, no matter how isolated he might feel. Even though living with PTSD and survivor’s guilt is difficult enough, there are other forces, such as the pressures from his father, that complicate Gage’s mental health. If you enjoy heavily character-driven novels, you’ll enjoy Gage’s progression throughout. I appreciated that even when Jessica Kara steered straight ahead into the ugly side of grief, my heart still constantly aches for Gage. From family to friends to a budding romance, there are so many beautiful connections throughout Gage’s journey to healing.
April 8, 2023
I'm honestly amazed by how hard this one hit me. But it was just so powerful in its simplicity. The depiction of Gage's grief was heartbreaking. The friend group he had was even more so. They were so loyal and caring, it hurt me to read. I loved everything about them. The found family was impeccable. This one was heartbreakingly beautiful, and even though I likely won't reread it, I know it will be lingering in my mind for quite some time.
Thanks to Netgalley for providing a free copy in exchange for an honest review!
Thanks to Netgalley for providing a free copy in exchange for an honest review!
November 12, 2023
I burned through Don't Ask If I'm Okay in one afternoon. I simply had to make sure that Gage was okay (even if he told me not to ask).
I could probably count on one hand how many young adult novels I had read dealing with grief. My most recent read other than Kara's novel was the Half-Orphan's Handbook. In comparison, Don't Ask If I'm Okay does an excellent job of really diving into the emotions of our main character. Gage is constantly shoving his emotions down so he can take care of others. He wants to make sure everyone else is okay before taking care of himself. This makes for a very sympathetic protagonist and causes you to almost shout at the book for Gage to confide in others.
Possibly one of my favorite parts of the story was Gage's relationship with his father. His father has been giving him tough love. Telling his son that he can't freak out anymore. That it has been a year and he needs to become stronger. I hear a lot of people in my daily life talk about tough love in either positive or negative ways. People who promote tough love are almost villainized today, but I really appreciated how Kara handled it. Instead of making Gage's father into a villain, we could understand where his father was coming from. I understood that the advice his father was giving was horrible, but his father actually cared. I also loved how Gage responded toward his father's advice in love instead of anger. He tried placing himself in his father's shoes and thought that his father was possibly scared at seeing him have a panic attack.
Another one of my favorite things about the novel was Olivia and Gage's relationship. Usually with novels about healing or grief I air on the side of caution when romance is included. I almost would prefer the authors not including any romantic relationships at all when a character is grieving because that is the worst time to begin a relationship. I'm not saying it doesn't happen, but I imagine it would be difficult especially if you are trying to help your romantic partner get through something at the beginning of your relationship. However, in this specific circumstance I thought it worked. Hunter, Gage's best friend, has been dead for a year. So he's had some time to process the loss. Besides, Kara wrote the relationship more effectively than most romance novels. Most of the time it's hard to buy into the fact that a character is falling in love when we never really see them get to know each other. Romance novelists prefer to have their characters banter or come up with a really contrived reason why these characters aren't dating. Not with Gage and Olivia. They had the most convincing first date I had ever read. There were no super contrived reasons why these characters wouldn't go out. They asked typical first date questions. They were flirty. And they felt like genuine people who are just starting to get to know each other.
Lastly, I liked the small feminism part in this book, which really surprised me. Most of the time authors shoehorn in feminism that feels like a half baked idea or just a thing they heard said, but never really experienced. However, I could 100% get behind the feminism in this book. As soon as Gage was given advice to never try to hit on girls at work, I was all in. I especially loved how his stepfather said they are at work and they have to be pleasant. I cannot tell you how many times I had older creepy men hit on me for trying to be pleasant because that's my job. Anyway A plus there, amen and amen.
To conclude, I highly recommend this book if you want to feel things. If I had to give this book any criticism at all it would probably be that I wanted more of a flashback of the car accident Hunter died in. Gage only briefly mentioned the experience, but I felt like Kara could have built on it all throughout the novel and have a big reveal on what actually had happened. Other than that I wouldn't change anything else.
I could probably count on one hand how many young adult novels I had read dealing with grief. My most recent read other than Kara's novel was the Half-Orphan's Handbook. In comparison, Don't Ask If I'm Okay does an excellent job of really diving into the emotions of our main character. Gage is constantly shoving his emotions down so he can take care of others. He wants to make sure everyone else is okay before taking care of himself. This makes for a very sympathetic protagonist and causes you to almost shout at the book for Gage to confide in others.
Possibly one of my favorite parts of the story was Gage's relationship with his father. His father has been giving him tough love. Telling his son that he can't freak out anymore. That it has been a year and he needs to become stronger. I hear a lot of people in my daily life talk about tough love in either positive or negative ways. People who promote tough love are almost villainized today, but I really appreciated how Kara handled it. Instead of making Gage's father into a villain, we could understand where his father was coming from. I understood that the advice his father was giving was horrible, but his father actually cared. I also loved how Gage responded toward his father's advice in love instead of anger. He tried placing himself in his father's shoes and thought that his father was possibly scared at seeing him have a panic attack.
Another one of my favorite things about the novel was Olivia and Gage's relationship. Usually with novels about healing or grief I air on the side of caution when romance is included. I almost would prefer the authors not including any romantic relationships at all when a character is grieving because that is the worst time to begin a relationship. I'm not saying it doesn't happen, but I imagine it would be difficult especially if you are trying to help your romantic partner get through something at the beginning of your relationship. However, in this specific circumstance I thought it worked. Hunter, Gage's best friend, has been dead for a year. So he's had some time to process the loss. Besides, Kara wrote the relationship more effectively than most romance novels. Most of the time it's hard to buy into the fact that a character is falling in love when we never really see them get to know each other. Romance novelists prefer to have their characters banter or come up with a really contrived reason why these characters aren't dating. Not with Gage and Olivia. They had the most convincing first date I had ever read. There were no super contrived reasons why these characters wouldn't go out. They asked typical first date questions. They were flirty. And they felt like genuine people who are just starting to get to know each other.
Lastly, I liked the small feminism part in this book, which really surprised me. Most of the time authors shoehorn in feminism that feels like a half baked idea or just a thing they heard said, but never really experienced. However, I could 100% get behind the feminism in this book. As soon as Gage was given advice to never try to hit on girls at work, I was all in. I especially loved how his stepfather said they are at work and they have to be pleasant. I cannot tell you how many times I had older creepy men hit on me for trying to be pleasant because that's my job. Anyway A plus there, amen and amen.
To conclude, I highly recommend this book if you want to feel things. If I had to give this book any criticism at all it would probably be that I wanted more of a flashback of the car accident Hunter died in. Gage only briefly mentioned the experience, but I felt like Kara could have built on it all throughout the novel and have a big reveal on what actually had happened. Other than that I wouldn't change anything else.
July 15, 2023
this book is fine and honestly good when it comes to illustrating the importance of vulnerability when dealing with loss--i just could not get into it for the life of me. perhaps it was the angst
April 28, 2023
Thank you to the publisher and Netgalley for my e-ARC of Don’t Ask if I’m Okay.
𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐃 𝐓𝐇𝐈𝐒 𝐈𝐅 𝐘𝐎𝐔
👨🍳 love to cook
🧝🏻♀️ are obsessed with LotR
🥔 live in Idaho
☕️ need coffee to survive
• 𝐐𝐔𝐈𝐂𝐊 𝐓𝐀𝐊𝐄
It’s been nearly a year since Gage lost his cousin Hunter in a car accident and Gage is still struggling to come to terms with it.
• 𝐖𝐇𝐀𝐓 𝐈𝐓’𝐒 𝐀𝐁𝐎𝐔𝐓
A year ago, Gage survived a car accident that killed his best friend, Hunter. Without the person who always brought out the best in him, Gage doesn’t know who he is. He likes working as a fry cook and loves his small-town friends and family, but they weren’t in the wreck and he can’t tell them how much he’s still hurting. He just wants to forget all his pain and move on. So when his stepdad shows him a dream job opening in one of his idol’s restaurants, Gage knows this is his chance to convince everyone and himself that he’s fine. To try to push past his grief once and for all, Gage applies for the job, asks out a crush, and volunteers to host a memorial for Hunter. But the more Gage tries to ignore his grief, the more volatile it becomes.
• 𝐌𝐘 𝐓𝐇𝐎𝐔𝐆𝐇𝐓𝐒
This was a very heavy book, especially since I also lost my brother in a car accident back in late 2015. I love how real this story was though. I felt deeply for Gage’s character, his rage, his pain. While I don’t have panic attacks from it (because I wasn’t in the car) I still feel that deep sense of loss. I’m glad that he had a great support system and a way to channel his emotions through his amazing cooking. I highly recommend this read!
𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐃 𝐓𝐇𝐈𝐒 𝐈𝐅 𝐘𝐎𝐔
👨🍳 love to cook
🧝🏻♀️ are obsessed with LotR
🥔 live in Idaho
☕️ need coffee to survive
• 𝐐𝐔𝐈𝐂𝐊 𝐓𝐀𝐊𝐄
It’s been nearly a year since Gage lost his cousin Hunter in a car accident and Gage is still struggling to come to terms with it.
• 𝐖𝐇𝐀𝐓 𝐈𝐓’𝐒 𝐀𝐁𝐎𝐔𝐓
A year ago, Gage survived a car accident that killed his best friend, Hunter. Without the person who always brought out the best in him, Gage doesn’t know who he is. He likes working as a fry cook and loves his small-town friends and family, but they weren’t in the wreck and he can’t tell them how much he’s still hurting. He just wants to forget all his pain and move on. So when his stepdad shows him a dream job opening in one of his idol’s restaurants, Gage knows this is his chance to convince everyone and himself that he’s fine. To try to push past his grief once and for all, Gage applies for the job, asks out a crush, and volunteers to host a memorial for Hunter. But the more Gage tries to ignore his grief, the more volatile it becomes.
• 𝐌𝐘 𝐓𝐇𝐎𝐔𝐆𝐇𝐓𝐒
This was a very heavy book, especially since I also lost my brother in a car accident back in late 2015. I love how real this story was though. I felt deeply for Gage’s character, his rage, his pain. While I don’t have panic attacks from it (because I wasn’t in the car) I still feel that deep sense of loss. I’m glad that he had a great support system and a way to channel his emotions through his amazing cooking. I highly recommend this read!
May 28, 2023
I don’t read a lot of sad books or contemporary YA but This one was really good. I enjoyed it and I felt like the descriptions of grief and the MCs struggles were true and well done
May 16, 2023
DON’T ASK IF I’M OKAY really hit on a lot of my favorite bookish elements: community, family, friends, mental health, and supporting those we love. I loved Gage’s friend group and especially the way they functioned as a support group/community to help one another through dark times. My favorite scene was after they’ve finished watching part of a movie in the Lord of the Rings trilogy, and they need to go do something. One friend turns to Gage and says, “You have my sword.” Another tells Gage he has his bow. A third says, “And my Suburu.” Which straight up made me laugh out loud. So great.
I also cried through some of the scenes in which he’s caught in this spiral of grief. He’s listening to some bad advice about what grief looks like and how he should feel instead of healthy counsel, and I could just feel how much it was hurting him to believe that toxic stuff.
Which made his journey from that moment so much more powerful and meaningful.
The only thing that I’d say caught me off guard with this book is that for some reason I thought the story was going to be about him getting a new cooking job and starting that job and how that helps him. Pretty much the whole story takes place in his hometown. I loved his small Idaho town, though, so that was great. For some reason I was expecting something else from the book, but I’m not unhappy with the story I read.
On the whole, I think this is a great celebration of the importance of a support network and of emotional vulnerability. I loved it and I would definitely read more by Jessica Klara.
Note: I received a free copy of this book in exchange for my honest review. All opinions my own.
I also cried through some of the scenes in which he’s caught in this spiral of grief. He’s listening to some bad advice about what grief looks like and how he should feel instead of healthy counsel, and I could just feel how much it was hurting him to believe that toxic stuff.
Which made his journey from that moment so much more powerful and meaningful.
The only thing that I’d say caught me off guard with this book is that for some reason I thought the story was going to be about him getting a new cooking job and starting that job and how that helps him. Pretty much the whole story takes place in his hometown. I loved his small Idaho town, though, so that was great. For some reason I was expecting something else from the book, but I’m not unhappy with the story I read.
On the whole, I think this is a great celebration of the importance of a support network and of emotional vulnerability. I loved it and I would definitely read more by Jessica Klara.
Note: I received a free copy of this book in exchange for my honest review. All opinions my own.
May 21, 2023
Don't Ask If I'm Okay is a perfect read for May, being that it is mental health awareness month. It's been a year since Gage's cousin and best friend lost his life in a car accident and Gage lives with that memory on the daily. Burying his feelings and the panic attacks that bubble up, he tries to power through each day being strong for those around him. The descriptions of the panic attacks and the thoughts Gage has while going through them are so real. His strength and ultimately his vulnerability after snapping is something many who struggle will resonate with.
I love how accurate and personal the descriptions in this book are, from the emotions to the settings, to depth in each character's personality and what they bring to the story. The interactions Gage has with each character is unique and conveyed so well, from the care he has for his little cousin who has lost her big brother, to being a leader in his support group, to being a kind soul to a teenager in the diner who is struggling, and finally trying to be the son he feels his mother and step father expect him to be. I was truly hooked from page one and couldn't put this book down.
To all those who suffer in silence and strength, you are not alone. I hope you feel love from the people closest to you, to open up about your struggles and find peace. You deserve happiness. You deserve safety.
I love how accurate and personal the descriptions in this book are, from the emotions to the settings, to depth in each character's personality and what they bring to the story. The interactions Gage has with each character is unique and conveyed so well, from the care he has for his little cousin who has lost her big brother, to being a leader in his support group, to being a kind soul to a teenager in the diner who is struggling, and finally trying to be the son he feels his mother and step father expect him to be. I was truly hooked from page one and couldn't put this book down.
To all those who suffer in silence and strength, you are not alone. I hope you feel love from the people closest to you, to open up about your struggles and find peace. You deserve happiness. You deserve safety.
May 16, 2023
**4.5 rounded up**
**Thank you to Page Street YA for the Arc!**
This was such a wonderful exploration and story about grief, loss, love, and community. The author did a fantastic job with the mental health and PTSD representation, as well as discussing and dissecting mental health, grief, and anger in men. I could feel Gage’s pain just jumping off the page and it was so heartbreaking but also so uplifting to watch him grow and open himself up to his friends and family. There were multiple times near the end where I was definitely tearing up and I just loved how much emotion you could feel from all of the characters in this book. The way Gage’s friends were there for him emotionally and physically was so beautiful to see, as well as his family. This was a fantastic story and I would definitely recommend picking it up!
**Thank you to Page Street YA for the Arc!**
This was such a wonderful exploration and story about grief, loss, love, and community. The author did a fantastic job with the mental health and PTSD representation, as well as discussing and dissecting mental health, grief, and anger in men. I could feel Gage’s pain just jumping off the page and it was so heartbreaking but also so uplifting to watch him grow and open himself up to his friends and family. There were multiple times near the end where I was definitely tearing up and I just loved how much emotion you could feel from all of the characters in this book. The way Gage’s friends were there for him emotionally and physically was so beautiful to see, as well as his family. This was a fantastic story and I would definitely recommend picking it up!
May 8, 2023
Jessica was kind enough to send me an Advanced Reading Copy.
I'm not usually one to cry when reading (film and TV absolutely - especially with a good, emotional score), but this was the first book to get be crying since Assassin's Fate by Robin Hobb.
This book is a magnificent and real story - brought together by a wonderful cast of characters that feel like they are truly alive. The interactions they share are incredible, how they react to each other and the circumstances that occur are amongst the best I have read. Nothing felt out of place or forced at all.
The fact that the main characters are all Lord of the Rings nerds was only a cherry on top of a brilliant story.
Very highly recommended.
I'm not usually one to cry when reading (film and TV absolutely - especially with a good, emotional score), but this was the first book to get be crying since Assassin's Fate by Robin Hobb.
This book is a magnificent and real story - brought together by a wonderful cast of characters that feel like they are truly alive. The interactions they share are incredible, how they react to each other and the circumstances that occur are amongst the best I have read. Nothing felt out of place or forced at all.
The fact that the main characters are all Lord of the Rings nerds was only a cherry on top of a brilliant story.
Very highly recommended.
May 7, 2023
Gage is privately struggling.
Almost a year ago he and his cousin, Hunter, were in a car wreck that only he walked away from. Now he’s trying to push down his grief and panic at being in a car because he thinks he needs to be strong for his family and friends.
However all this denying of feelings is causing it to show up in other unhealthy ways.
Thankfully Gage has THE best support system that are truly a safe place for him to fall apart.
This was a great look at the way society often expects men and boys to deal with their feelings (that aren’t anger) and the impact of those expectations.
Almost a year ago he and his cousin, Hunter, were in a car wreck that only he walked away from. Now he’s trying to push down his grief and panic at being in a car because he thinks he needs to be strong for his family and friends.
However all this denying of feelings is causing it to show up in other unhealthy ways.
Thankfully Gage has THE best support system that are truly a safe place for him to fall apart.
This was a great look at the way society often expects men and boys to deal with their feelings (that aren’t anger) and the impact of those expectations.
March 14, 2023
Thank you Netgalley and Page Street Publishing for for sharing an digital ARC with me in exchange for an honest review.
Don't ask if I'm okay revolves around Gage, who survived a terrible car crash where his best friend and cousin Hunter died. Now he has to live through his life with the heavy load of grief, shame and anger.
Books about serious topics like grief, death and so on are quite hard to write, because people live through grief differently. Yet this book nailed it perfectly. Gage as a character is literally how I would experience grief over the death of a loved one. It's relatable. I could identify myself with Gage and bonded with him very quickly. It's a very good description about losing and asking for help. I shared a tear here and there, because for me it's literally perfection.
All of the characters are amazing and have so much depth. Of course, the story itself can't deliver action like a murder mystery yet I kept reading because I really wanted to see that Gage gets help. At the same time the book represents how people deal differently with grief and if something works for one person it doesn't mean it works for someone else.
Maybe this book hits so close, because I just wrote my bachelor thesis itself about the process of grief, but I think how it's described in this book shows many aspects how grief a person in particular but also the family/friend system this person lives in.
It's not an easy book to be honest. It's messy, raw and beautiful.
Don't ask if I'm okay revolves around Gage, who survived a terrible car crash where his best friend and cousin Hunter died. Now he has to live through his life with the heavy load of grief, shame and anger.
Books about serious topics like grief, death and so on are quite hard to write, because people live through grief differently. Yet this book nailed it perfectly. Gage as a character is literally how I would experience grief over the death of a loved one. It's relatable. I could identify myself with Gage and bonded with him very quickly. It's a very good description about losing and asking for help. I shared a tear here and there, because for me it's literally perfection.
All of the characters are amazing and have so much depth. Of course, the story itself can't deliver action like a murder mystery yet I kept reading because I really wanted to see that Gage gets help. At the same time the book represents how people deal differently with grief and if something works for one person it doesn't mean it works for someone else.
Maybe this book hits so close, because I just wrote my bachelor thesis itself about the process of grief, but I think how it's described in this book shows many aspects how grief a person in particular but also the family/friend system this person lives in.
It's not an easy book to be honest. It's messy, raw and beautiful.
March 30, 2023
Grief, food, Lord of the Rings, and quiet comforts.
This is a beautiful, poignant, cozy story about how grief hollows you out and, if you're not careful, fills you up with rage. This story is for the helpers who never take the time to put on their own oxygen mask before they assist someone else. The people that pour from empty cups out of reserves they simply cannot afford to dip into.
DON'T ASK IF I'M OKAY reminds us that the lone wolf doesn't thrive.
This is a beautiful, poignant, cozy story about how grief hollows you out and, if you're not careful, fills you up with rage. This story is for the helpers who never take the time to put on their own oxygen mask before they assist someone else. The people that pour from empty cups out of reserves they simply cannot afford to dip into.
DON'T ASK IF I'M OKAY reminds us that the lone wolf doesn't thrive.
January 19, 2023
Thank you, Pagestreet, for allowing me to read Don't Ask If I'm Okay early.
The beginning of the story was really powerful and my eyes were immediately glued to the pages. In the middle my attention started to wane a little but luckily soon I got invested in the story again. A beautiful story about grief.
The beginning of the story was really powerful and my eyes were immediately glued to the pages. In the middle my attention started to wane a little but luckily soon I got invested in the story again. A beautiful story about grief.
January 14, 2023
Thank you NetGalley for the arc. Enjoyable!
May 18, 2023
Every once in a while a book comes along that you didn’t realize you needed in your life, and had no idea how much it would affect you, until you read it. In 2021, that book for me was What Beauty There Is by Cory Anderson, and this year it is absolutely THIS BOOK. Here are my top 5 reasons to read Don’t Ask if I’m Okay:
1. It’s the most honest, unflinching, tender exploration of grief I’ve read in a long time.
2. It’s also an honest and unflinching look at toxic masculinity, how it can mess up our young boys, and how hard they must fight to escape it.
3. It has quite possibly the single best portrayal of a father figure (stepdad) that I’ve read in any YA novel, ever. Seriously, Jack -- I adore you with my whole heart.
4. It’s such a beautiful portrayal of teen friendship, especially between teen boys, and a recognition of how hard it can be for them to lean on each other, even when friends are there to catch them (which holds true for adults, as well!).
5. It’s a book that will rip your heart out, leaving you sobbing and snotty at midnight, and then patch it back together, leaving you smiling through your tears at 1:00 a.m. (this may or may not reflect my actual experience, lol).
I don’t want to say much more so as to avoid spoilers, but I will say this: I lost my sister to domestic violence 15 years ago this past January, and I STLL struggle with grief. Jessica Kara’s portrayal of grief as a circular progression from dark to light and back to dark again (ad infinitum) is so incredibly accurate that I was vigorously nodding along as I read. When Gage says that death isn’t a one-time loss but rather a new loss every time you wake up in the morning, every time something good happens and you want to run and tell the person who’s no longer with you, only to remember they’re gone...ugh. I was pregnant with my first and only child when my sister was killed, and I distinctly remember the day I walked in the house after work and he kicked for the first time and my first thought was, “oh my god, I have to call Krissy!” -- only to remember that wasn’t possible and that she would never know her nephew.
I say all this to say, this book GETS IT. Ms. Kara GETS GRIEF. If you have a family member or friend struggling with grief and you don’t know what that’s like, read this book. If you are struggling with grief and you want some help healing or some validation that your own feelings are normal, READ THIS BOOK. I cannot recommend this highly enough, I’m honored to have read it, and it will go down as The Special Book of 2023 for me. I hope you’ll pick this one up, and please do let me know your thoughts. And if you ever want to talk about grief, or depression, or pain, or whatever, please know my DMs are open. “Lone wolves die alone.”
RATING: 5 stars! (I know this is not technically a review, but I couldn’t leave this off!)
**Disclosure: I received a copy of this book from the publisher for purposes of this blog tour.
1. It’s the most honest, unflinching, tender exploration of grief I’ve read in a long time.
2. It’s also an honest and unflinching look at toxic masculinity, how it can mess up our young boys, and how hard they must fight to escape it.
3. It has quite possibly the single best portrayal of a father figure (stepdad) that I’ve read in any YA novel, ever. Seriously, Jack -- I adore you with my whole heart.
4. It’s such a beautiful portrayal of teen friendship, especially between teen boys, and a recognition of how hard it can be for them to lean on each other, even when friends are there to catch them (which holds true for adults, as well!).
5. It’s a book that will rip your heart out, leaving you sobbing and snotty at midnight, and then patch it back together, leaving you smiling through your tears at 1:00 a.m. (this may or may not reflect my actual experience, lol).
I don’t want to say much more so as to avoid spoilers, but I will say this: I lost my sister to domestic violence 15 years ago this past January, and I STLL struggle with grief. Jessica Kara’s portrayal of grief as a circular progression from dark to light and back to dark again (ad infinitum) is so incredibly accurate that I was vigorously nodding along as I read. When Gage says that death isn’t a one-time loss but rather a new loss every time you wake up in the morning, every time something good happens and you want to run and tell the person who’s no longer with you, only to remember they’re gone...ugh. I was pregnant with my first and only child when my sister was killed, and I distinctly remember the day I walked in the house after work and he kicked for the first time and my first thought was, “oh my god, I have to call Krissy!” -- only to remember that wasn’t possible and that she would never know her nephew.
I say all this to say, this book GETS IT. Ms. Kara GETS GRIEF. If you have a family member or friend struggling with grief and you don’t know what that’s like, read this book. If you are struggling with grief and you want some help healing or some validation that your own feelings are normal, READ THIS BOOK. I cannot recommend this highly enough, I’m honored to have read it, and it will go down as The Special Book of 2023 for me. I hope you’ll pick this one up, and please do let me know your thoughts. And if you ever want to talk about grief, or depression, or pain, or whatever, please know my DMs are open. “Lone wolves die alone.”
RATING: 5 stars! (I know this is not technically a review, but I couldn’t leave this off!)
**Disclosure: I received a copy of this book from the publisher for purposes of this blog tour.
May 16, 2023
Don’t Ask If I’m Okay follows the story of Gage, a teen getting ready for college, living in a small ski town in Idaho. On the surface, he looks like any normal teen. He works as a cook at the local diner and dreams of becoming a famous cook himself one day, hoping to get an internship at his favorite cook’s restaurant. He’s a massive Lord of the Rings fan boy, as evidenced by the many memes, references, and LOTR content in this book.
However, Gage is holding on to a secret. His best friend and cousin Hunter died in a terrible car accident driving down the ski slopes a year earlier, with Gage in the car. Gage survived physically, but mentally he’s struggling to keep it together. He walks everywhere, unable to force himself back in a car, he’s kept Hunter’s phone to text back and forth with, but worst of all, he keeps his emotions bottled up, believing that his friends and family need him to support them and society as a whole would think he’s weak for daring to still mourn Hunter’s death.
After all, men aren’t supposed to show vulnerability.
The novel follows Gage as he learns how to support his friends, but also allow them to support him. It’s a hard fight made harder by societal expectations and his father, who believes he should “suck it up” and get over it.
Gage’s story brought tears to my eyes more than once over the course of reading it, watching Gage struggle with expectations he doesn’t know how to fulfill. Society believes vulnerability to be “weak��� and Gage feels pressured not to show himself that way.
One of Gage’s biggest allies though is his step father, Jack, a former marine who runs a support group for military personnel who are suffering from PTSD. Not only does Jack’s support group and its members parallel what Gage is going through, but Jack’s sympathetic and understanding outlook on the situation is a good contrast to Gage’s biological father, who’s old fashioned views on how Gage should be responding is more harmful than helpful.
In our world, we struggle with emotional vulnerability, and Gage’s story is just an example of the thousands of men, women, and teens who feel forced into behaving or reacting in unhelpful ways to great trauma. It’s also an example of how incredibly important support and vulnerability are. We can’t heal from trauma if we aren’t willing to embrace these things.
I hope Gage’s story inspires readers to embrace vulnerability, surround themselves with support, and be willing to support each other in times of trouble. This is a much needed story for a world that desperately needs it.
If you have ever experienced trauma and weren’t sure how to heal from it, this book is for you. May it heal your soul. <3
However, Gage is holding on to a secret. His best friend and cousin Hunter died in a terrible car accident driving down the ski slopes a year earlier, with Gage in the car. Gage survived physically, but mentally he’s struggling to keep it together. He walks everywhere, unable to force himself back in a car, he’s kept Hunter’s phone to text back and forth with, but worst of all, he keeps his emotions bottled up, believing that his friends and family need him to support them and society as a whole would think he’s weak for daring to still mourn Hunter’s death.
After all, men aren’t supposed to show vulnerability.
The novel follows Gage as he learns how to support his friends, but also allow them to support him. It’s a hard fight made harder by societal expectations and his father, who believes he should “suck it up” and get over it.
Gage’s story brought tears to my eyes more than once over the course of reading it, watching Gage struggle with expectations he doesn’t know how to fulfill. Society believes vulnerability to be “weak��� and Gage feels pressured not to show himself that way.
One of Gage’s biggest allies though is his step father, Jack, a former marine who runs a support group for military personnel who are suffering from PTSD. Not only does Jack’s support group and its members parallel what Gage is going through, but Jack’s sympathetic and understanding outlook on the situation is a good contrast to Gage’s biological father, who’s old fashioned views on how Gage should be responding is more harmful than helpful.
In our world, we struggle with emotional vulnerability, and Gage’s story is just an example of the thousands of men, women, and teens who feel forced into behaving or reacting in unhelpful ways to great trauma. It’s also an example of how incredibly important support and vulnerability are. We can’t heal from trauma if we aren’t willing to embrace these things.
I hope Gage’s story inspires readers to embrace vulnerability, surround themselves with support, and be willing to support each other in times of trouble. This is a much needed story for a world that desperately needs it.
If you have ever experienced trauma and weren’t sure how to heal from it, this book is for you. May it heal your soul. <3
June 14, 2023
Three stars but -so close- in some ways to four, and I ultimately did put four. I do not recommend reading this in one sitting. I did not want to review this book because my emotions--I don't know how to describe them. I blubbered my way through chapter twenty, and it earned several stars from me. I needed to read this book, especially at this point in my life. It's been a decade since three people died of complications due to horrible diseases. Each death was sudden and tragic. Those who survived the deceased did not discuss the deaths after the funerals. The next paragraph of my review was removed because I don't want to get personal.
I felt like I understood Gage. I have never experienced the level of tragedy and trauma that he has been through. But the book showed me "your emotions are here, Zev. You are here."
Him working all the time--I felt like there was no real reason given. The book got repetitive at parts. It isn't until the seventy percent mark that it's revealed Gage isn't getting therapy because it isn't in his worldview. That needed to be revealed and explored much earlier. The book wraps it up too neatly. The family's grief wasn't explored. Instead, everyone tiptoed around Gage and nobody talked about it. Probably because they didn't know how. It would have been interesting character development if they had tried. Having Justine be that character--well, I'm not sure who else the author would have picked. It just felt a little weird. The characters weren't too well-developed except for Gage. Sigh.
There were many charming moments in this book! Some were so wholesome and heartwarming. I -adored- Jack, Gage's stepdad. Gage's bio-dad could have easily been cut and nothing would have changed. He could have been totally off-page and several mentions of his lack of involvement and no child support payments would have been good. Gage couldn't bring himself to talk about a lot of stuff with his family, and I related to that. It could have been an arc in and of itself, and he could have blown up at someone else besides Justine. But the story did work. I wanted to hear more about the family's relationships to Hunter and how they were processing their loss or not, but this book is all about Gage.
I don't plan to reread this, but I hope to recommend it heavily. I'm so glad it was written and that I got to read it.
I felt like I understood Gage. I have never experienced the level of tragedy and trauma that he has been through. But the book showed me "your emotions are here, Zev. You are here."
Him working all the time--I felt like there was no real reason given. The book got repetitive at parts. It isn't until the seventy percent mark that it's revealed Gage isn't getting therapy because it isn't in his worldview. That needed to be revealed and explored much earlier. The book wraps it up too neatly. The family's grief wasn't explored. Instead, everyone tiptoed around Gage and nobody talked about it. Probably because they didn't know how. It would have been interesting character development if they had tried. Having Justine be that character--well, I'm not sure who else the author would have picked. It just felt a little weird. The characters weren't too well-developed except for Gage. Sigh.
There were many charming moments in this book! Some were so wholesome and heartwarming. I -adored- Jack, Gage's stepdad. Gage's bio-dad could have easily been cut and nothing would have changed. He could have been totally off-page and several mentions of his lack of involvement and no child support payments would have been good. Gage couldn't bring himself to talk about a lot of stuff with his family, and I related to that. It could have been an arc in and of itself, and he could have blown up at someone else besides Justine. But the story did work. I wanted to hear more about the family's relationships to Hunter and how they were processing their loss or not, but this book is all about Gage.
I don't plan to reread this, but I hope to recommend it heavily. I'm so glad it was written and that I got to read it.
May 17, 2023
The themes of this book are family, friends, and healing. And in Gage’s life, there’s a lot of the first two. He spends his time working and spending his time with his family. His mother and aunt live next door to each other, which is the ultimate dream for those with a very close family. You get to grow up with your cousins, who are your best friends, and it hurts so very much when you lose them.
While I appreciate Kara taking on such a heavy subject, I spent much of the book angry at those in Gage’s life. While it isn’t said, it is clear Gage has PTSD. And rather than confront him, and force him to get help, Gage’s family and friends tiptoe around him. They enabled him, and it was so utterly rage inducing. I just wanted to smack everyone in his life and force them to do better.
Fun fact, if you get treatment ASAP after a traumatizing event, there’s a really good chance that it doesn’t turn into PTSD. There’s a good chance that you don’t have to spend a year of your life in absolute misery, where rage, loss, nightmares, fear, anxiety, and more consume every thought and action. He has no coping skills other than putting snow on the back of his neck, which is not good enough. As a PTSD sufferer, it made me really sad.
On the other side of the coin, Gage’s family and friends are supportive in other ways. They are a close-knit group that rallies around each other. I admired Gage’s passion for cooking, that his creations were creative, and I spent a good deal of the book hungry. I liked Olivia and the possibilities for her and Gage. Though I firmly believe that “relationships work best when you do what is best for you first.” Gage needs to get healthy before dating, taking on a job, and moving away from his support system. But I’d like to think there could be an exception and that there is more for Gage on the other end of this.
While I appreciate Kara taking on such a heavy subject, I spent much of the book angry at those in Gage’s life. While it isn’t said, it is clear Gage has PTSD. And rather than confront him, and force him to get help, Gage’s family and friends tiptoe around him. They enabled him, and it was so utterly rage inducing. I just wanted to smack everyone in his life and force them to do better.
Fun fact, if you get treatment ASAP after a traumatizing event, there’s a really good chance that it doesn’t turn into PTSD. There’s a good chance that you don’t have to spend a year of your life in absolute misery, where rage, loss, nightmares, fear, anxiety, and more consume every thought and action. He has no coping skills other than putting snow on the back of his neck, which is not good enough. As a PTSD sufferer, it made me really sad.
On the other side of the coin, Gage’s family and friends are supportive in other ways. They are a close-knit group that rallies around each other. I admired Gage’s passion for cooking, that his creations were creative, and I spent a good deal of the book hungry. I liked Olivia and the possibilities for her and Gage. Though I firmly believe that “relationships work best when you do what is best for you first.” Gage needs to get healthy before dating, taking on a job, and moving away from his support system. But I’d like to think there could be an exception and that there is more for Gage on the other end of this.
May 18, 2023
It usually takes me at least three chapters to get into a story. However, with this book, I was captivated from the very first chapter, and that's when I knew this book would hold a special place in my heart.
Gage lost his cousin/brother/best friend, Hunter, in a car accident. It's been a year, and Gage was still trying to move on. I felt connected to him in many situations. The pain of losing his best friend was all over the pages, and I teared up every time he remembered Hunter. It felt so real. The author's exceptional writing made me genuinely feel sorry for Gabe.
I love how Gabe took care of Justine, Hunter's 10-year-old sister. He became the brother of Justine and the son of Hunter's mom. The bond between him and Justine was so heartwarming. I am so in love with the author's writing. Justine is definitely my favourite character in the book.
Gage's friends were an extensive support system for him. His struggle with PTSD (Post-traumatic stress disorder) was expressed so well. I loved how gradually the healing process was described. It doesn't feel forced or unreal.
This book is a beautiful and touching story that explores the experience of grief in a heartfelt manner.
Gage lost his cousin/brother/best friend, Hunter, in a car accident. It's been a year, and Gage was still trying to move on. I felt connected to him in many situations. The pain of losing his best friend was all over the pages, and I teared up every time he remembered Hunter. It felt so real. The author's exceptional writing made me genuinely feel sorry for Gabe.
I love how Gabe took care of Justine, Hunter's 10-year-old sister. He became the brother of Justine and the son of Hunter's mom. The bond between him and Justine was so heartwarming. I am so in love with the author's writing. Justine is definitely my favourite character in the book.
Gage's friends were an extensive support system for him. His struggle with PTSD (Post-traumatic stress disorder) was expressed so well. I loved how gradually the healing process was described. It doesn't feel forced or unreal.
This book is a beautiful and touching story that explores the experience of grief in a heartfelt manner.
November 17, 2023
Gage, a young and aspiring chef, is grieving the loss of his best friend, Hunter, following a horrible car accident. Gage can't seem to understand how to deal with his emotional grief which follows patterns leading from denial to anger. He can't even seem to get himself back into a car again, despite the support of his family. His parents encourage him to go at his own pace but want him to find a way to move forward towards his goals despite his crippling grief. One day he meets Olivia, a young woman who understands loss since she lost her own father. Their relationship becomes part of what motivates Gage to figure out how to find a peaceful way to let Hunter's loss become meaningful and remembered by others while allowing him to move forward toward the next chapter of his life. In the end, this book explores the positive ways, though difficult, that grief changes us into perhaps better versions of ourselves than what we could have expected. This also is a book that could be relatable for young 18-20-year-olds who are just exploring working to build careers, making a life for themselves, and experiencing their first romantic relationship while also dealing with some of the darker realities of life.
June 16, 2023
This book was a roller-coaster of emotions for me. Losing your best friend at such a young age, I just couldn't imagine it. I would be devastated if I lost my best friend now, let alone my teen years. How do you cope with that loss?
That is what Gage had to deal with after losing his best friend, Hunter, in a horrible car crash. But Gage decides to bury his grief and keep busy trying to get his dream job at his idol's restaurant, host a memorial for Hunter, and ask out his crush. Anything to bury that pain and loss. He soon explodes and the author did a beautiful job showing this and how one can move on.
I think this book would be a great addition to any school library or teen book club. It teaches so many valuable lessons about dealing with grief that I feel is important for young adults to experience.
Thank you @pagestreetya, @authorjessowen and @turnthepagetours for the book and my honest review. I loved it so much that I'm giving away my copy. Enter the giveaway http://www.rafflecopter.com/rafl/disp...? and like and comment on my post on intsgaram: https://www.instagram.com/p/CtRcIYmPUsK/ (giveaway ends June 30, 2023 at midnight EST, USA residents only)
That is what Gage had to deal with after losing his best friend, Hunter, in a horrible car crash. But Gage decides to bury his grief and keep busy trying to get his dream job at his idol's restaurant, host a memorial for Hunter, and ask out his crush. Anything to bury that pain and loss. He soon explodes and the author did a beautiful job showing this and how one can move on.
I think this book would be a great addition to any school library or teen book club. It teaches so many valuable lessons about dealing with grief that I feel is important for young adults to experience.
Thank you @pagestreetya, @authorjessowen and @turnthepagetours for the book and my honest review. I loved it so much that I'm giving away my copy. Enter the giveaway http://www.rafflecopter.com/rafl/disp...? and like and comment on my post on intsgaram: https://www.instagram.com/p/CtRcIYmPUsK/ (giveaway ends June 30, 2023 at midnight EST, USA residents only)
July 23, 2024
The cover for this book just does not do it justice. When the synopsis of this book brought up a grief-stricken boy whose temper takes over, I was expecting the trope of Sad Boy who turns into Angry Boy and ruins all of his relationships. I wasn't expecting it to be Sad Boy with PTSD, who yes has moments of anger/poor decision making, who just wants to be ok. I wasn't expecting this to be a book where EVERYONE is good. (Ok, maybe not Gage's dad, but I don't think he was intentionally bad. I think he was just raised by men who suffer from toxic masculinity.)
I wanted to hug Gage's stepfather, Jack. I wanted to hug Gage's friends. I wanted to hug Gage. They're all just so good, even though they're all just so sad. We all know I love a sad book, and this is a good sad book. Gage is so broken by the loss of his best friend/cousin, and he just needs to figure out how to be the new version of himself that doesn't involve Hunter.
This is probably one of my surprise reads of the summer. I picked it up because it had high reviews and because I just wanted something that wasn't another super happy book. I'm so glad I did.
I wanted to hug Gage's stepfather, Jack. I wanted to hug Gage's friends. I wanted to hug Gage. They're all just so good, even though they're all just so sad. We all know I love a sad book, and this is a good sad book. Gage is so broken by the loss of his best friend/cousin, and he just needs to figure out how to be the new version of himself that doesn't involve Hunter.
This is probably one of my surprise reads of the summer. I picked it up because it had high reviews and because I just wanted something that wasn't another super happy book. I'm so glad I did.
May 19, 2023
The book's prose is a delight to read, enabling the reader to experience the sights and sounds and smell of every scene (and given all the cooking going on, readers' mouths will surely water like mine was!) These real and relatable characters will endear themselves to readers quickly, especially to those from the "Lord of the Rings" fandom. But it is raw and ragged themes of rugged individualism, one's responsibility to one's family and friends, and society's expectations for those suffering grief and loss and hardship which make this book an eminently compelling read. Is it trauma or simply weakness? Men are called upon to be vulnerable these days but yet are pressured in ways both subtle and overt to simply push it down deep inside them, to paste a smile on their faces, to get back to work. These are big issues, ones which author Kara has chosen to confront in this heart-wrenching book. Men of our culture especially need to read this book. To see to it that "no one goes into the woods alone." Men like me.
May 2, 2024
First of all, I just have to mention that I appreciate that this book was cleaner than many in the YA genre. Aside from that, it was a very well written book, the main character was interesting and well thought out as were many of the side characters. Their personalities (aside from aforementioned love interest) were all distinct and important, which I really loved. While I was reading it it was almost uncomfortable, like I was intruding on his grief as if I had no right to be reading this. I'm not quite sure if that's a positive or negative. Much of it was predictable, the themes and plot traversed many times over in the pages of sad YA, and as it seems that the author is not writing from experience (though I may be wrong), this book isn't really anything earth shattering. Despite this, I definitely recommend it as it is a very good read albeit a tragic one.
April 7, 2023
An honest and hopeful examination of grief, DON'T ASK IF I'M OKAY follows the story of Gage, a teenager who has spent the past year struggling to cope after losing his best friend in a car accident. Though outwardly it appears that he's managing okay with work and friends and family, Gage has run out of excuses for why he won't get into a car and is exhausted from hiding the panic attacks that descend without warning, and the anger hovering just below the surface.
Jessica Kara's novel is beautifully written, with characters who burrow right into your heart. The LOTR references are a bonus for fans, but folks who, like me, don't know Glamdring from Sting needn't be deterred. The universal themes of love, grief, and healing make this a story everyone should read.
Jessica Kara's novel is beautifully written, with characters who burrow right into your heart. The LOTR references are a bonus for fans, but folks who, like me, don't know Glamdring from Sting needn't be deterred. The universal themes of love, grief, and healing make this a story everyone should read.
August 5, 2025
*3.5 rounded up* I really enjoyed this book. For such a sad book there were plenty of happy moments. The jokes, the puns, the fun moments with friends. There were plenty of lotr references throughout the book which would be fun for the right crowd but I’ve never read or seen lotr. I loved Justine’s character and the setting description was amazing. I could imagine Clark perfectly and it made me want to visit it so bad. I felt the same way with how cooking was portrayed. My biggest complaint with the book was the romance, I didn’t like the way it was done and thought there was waaaaay too much kissing. I did like the boundaries they set though. Overall it was a wonderful book about grief and mental health and overcoming.
October 28, 2023
If you’ve lost someone important to you, I can’t recommend this book enough. Gage’s journey of trying to move on after losing his best friend is so relatable - I felt like he was describing my own grief after losing someone myself. There’s so much beauty and pain, and this book captures it all perfectly. We need books like this - books that encourage us to share our feelings and embrace them, instead of trying to ignore them or pretend they don’t exist.
Don’t Ask If I’m Okay is such a heartfelt, sensitive, and strong book. Warm and funny, sweet and moving, it could be exactly the book you need.
Don’t Ask If I’m Okay is such a heartfelt, sensitive, and strong book. Warm and funny, sweet and moving, it could be exactly the book you need.
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