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I Guess I Haven't Learned That Yet: Discovering New Ways of Living When the Old Ways Stop Working
When everything we've been clinging to falls apart, how do we know what to keep and what to let go of? I Guess I Haven't Learned That Yet , now a New York Times bestseller, is a clear-eyed look at where we go from here--and how we can transform our lives along the way. Just after her fortieth birthday, author Shauna Niequist found herself in a season of chaos, change, and loss unlike anything she'd ever faced. She discovered that many of the beliefs and practices that she usually turned to were no longer serving her. After trying--and failing--to pull herself back up using the same old strategies and systems, she realized she required new courage, curiosity, and compassion. She discovered the way through was more about questions than answers, more about forgiveness than force, more about tenderness than trying hard. In I Guess I Haven't Learned That Yet , Niequist chronicles her journey--from her life-changing move from the Midwest to Manhattan to the power of unlearning what is no longer helpful and accepting the unknowns that come with midlife, heartbreak, and chronic pain. With her characteristic candor and grace, Niequist writes about her experience learning how Follow Niequist as she endeavors to understand grief, to reshape her faith, and to practice courage when it feels impossible. Praise for I Guess I Haven't Learned That Yet : "Gentle. Loving. This tender book asks us to listen to our pain, lean into our discomfort, and trust that we can be lifted back on our feet by God and each other." --Kate C. Bowler, New York Times bestselling author of No Cure for Being Human "This book is a masterpiece. It is a journey and an invitation and a joy and a heartbreak and all the things you need to read to be reminded that hope can still be found." --Annie F. Downs, New York Times bestselling author of That Sounds Fun
240 pages, Hardcover
First published April 12, 2022
983 people are currently reading
23999 people want to read
About the author
Shauna Niequist
35 books2,633 followersShauna Niequist is the author of Cold Tangerines, Bittersweet, and Bread & Wine. Shauna grew up in Barrington, Illinois, and then studied English and French Literature at Westmont College in Santa Barbara. She is married to Aaron Niequist, who is a pianist and songwriter. Aaron is a worship leader at Willow Creek Community Church and is recording a project called A New Liturgy. Aaron & Shauna live outside Chicago with their sons, Henry and Mac. Shauna writes about the beautiful and broken moments of everyday life--friendship, family, faith, food, marriage, love, babies, books, celebration, heartache, and all the other things that shape us, delight us, and reveal to us the heart of God.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 1,574 reviews
April 19, 2022
I Guess I haven't learned what this book is about. . .
I'm so confused by Shauna's latest book. She leaves another church, but she wont say why. Her marriage was struggling but she won't say why. Something terrible happened with her dad but she won't say what. She escapes her home town and moves her family to New York City but won't say why. She breaks up with a friend, but won't say why. . . you get the idea.
The whole book is just vague life philosophies but we don't know any of the bad things that happened to make her so angry, hurt and sick. I've loved most of her books in the past but this one was un-relatable and lacks clarity.
I'm so confused by Shauna's latest book. She leaves another church, but she wont say why. Her marriage was struggling but she won't say why. Something terrible happened with her dad but she won't say what. She escapes her home town and moves her family to New York City but won't say why. She breaks up with a friend, but won't say why. . . you get the idea.
The whole book is just vague life philosophies but we don't know any of the bad things that happened to make her so angry, hurt and sick. I've loved most of her books in the past but this one was un-relatable and lacks clarity.
July 14, 2022
It's difficult to give a proper rating to this book. The author is a gifted writer with a warm, honest narrative voice (I listened to this on audible) that's endearing and engenders a lot of rapport. I like essay style books, and I enjoyed her writing style quite a bit. If this were just a book about moving, living in NYC, and writing, I think my rating would be a good deal higher because the theology presented in this book is really problematic. (Well, there's not a lot about God in general, so can I even call it theology?) This is a book about self. Self-discovery, self-betterment, self-improvement, self-enlightenment. And by the end of the book, I was weary of it. I don't care how many ways you find to improve your self or "come home to yourself" or name your feelings, there is no hope in the gospel of self. Give me some Christ-centered, gospel-rich hope, please! Even the one chapter on Easter barely referenced the resurrection of Christ, but took its usual turn down the aisle of self. That was disappointing.
I don't know. It's difficult to give a poor review to a book when the author has such strong writing (my gratitude for good craft runs deep!), but I see a lot of Christians loving this book on social media, and I just didn't get it. (Perhaps my rating should apply to the manner in which this book has been recommended in Christian circles rather than the book itself? Maybe it isn't meant to be read as Christian memoir?) If our greatest hope in this life is becoming more comfortable in ourselves, I'm out. We aren't supposed to be at home here. Our greatest hope isn't in self-enlightenment or self-awareness. Through the many different types of trials and suffering mentioned in the book, I was begging for one thing: Please give us Jesus. He was noticeably absent.
The positive elements of this book are the author's transparency, her love for the city, and all the foodie moments. The bonus material at the end of the audiobook is delightful.
I don't know. It's difficult to give a poor review to a book when the author has such strong writing (my gratitude for good craft runs deep!), but I see a lot of Christians loving this book on social media, and I just didn't get it. (Perhaps my rating should apply to the manner in which this book has been recommended in Christian circles rather than the book itself? Maybe it isn't meant to be read as Christian memoir?) If our greatest hope in this life is becoming more comfortable in ourselves, I'm out. We aren't supposed to be at home here. Our greatest hope isn't in self-enlightenment or self-awareness. Through the many different types of trials and suffering mentioned in the book, I was begging for one thing: Please give us Jesus. He was noticeably absent.
The positive elements of this book are the author's transparency, her love for the city, and all the foodie moments. The bonus material at the end of the audiobook is delightful.
April 15, 2022
Niequist’s best yet.
And that’s saying something. I love everything Shauna Niequist writes, I soak in her words, I have a (not-so-secret-now) secret Instagram saved folder just for the books and foods and such she recommends. But of course, when your expectations are so high, one worries with every release, will this live up?
It does and then some. She is raw and honest but also hopeful and specifically joyful. It is hard to write a book of essays in this moment in time that deals honestly with a life in the midst of reckoning with the pandemic and privilege and a changing faith and all the things swirling around the world these days. Throw in early menopause and marriage and a life-altering move. But she somehow manages to catch all the swirling bits and snatches, swirl them together, and then create this freshening gust of order and energy.
I listened to this on audio (the author reads it, and her warm voice adds to the experience) because my preorder was delayed but now I cannot wait for my copy to arrive in the mail because I intend to sit right back down with it and read it again immediately. I’ve already recommended it to more friends than any other book this year, and it’s only been out two days.
I voxed a friend this morning to say she could have been a fly on my wall for some of the similarities. She feels like a big sister just a few years older than I am, giving me this guide into the early 40s that are staring me in the face. Come on in, she beckons. The water’s not fine. But we’ll hold our heads above water together.
And that’s saying something. I love everything Shauna Niequist writes, I soak in her words, I have a (not-so-secret-now) secret Instagram saved folder just for the books and foods and such she recommends. But of course, when your expectations are so high, one worries with every release, will this live up?
It does and then some. She is raw and honest but also hopeful and specifically joyful. It is hard to write a book of essays in this moment in time that deals honestly with a life in the midst of reckoning with the pandemic and privilege and a changing faith and all the things swirling around the world these days. Throw in early menopause and marriage and a life-altering move. But she somehow manages to catch all the swirling bits and snatches, swirl them together, and then create this freshening gust of order and energy.
I listened to this on audio (the author reads it, and her warm voice adds to the experience) because my preorder was delayed but now I cannot wait for my copy to arrive in the mail because I intend to sit right back down with it and read it again immediately. I’ve already recommended it to more friends than any other book this year, and it’s only been out two days.
I voxed a friend this morning to say she could have been a fly on my wall for some of the similarities. She feels like a big sister just a few years older than I am, giving me this guide into the early 40s that are staring me in the face. Come on in, she beckons. The water’s not fine. But we’ll hold our heads above water together.
June 11, 2022
I loved Present Over Perfect so that's why I decided to read Shauna's latest book. She's a great writer who writes in a very conversational style.
However, this book is VERY “woe is me". Her dad was the pastor of one of the largest churches in America. In that role, he repeatedly sexually harassed and assaulted women and got away with it...for decades. This wasn’t Harry Weinstein. This was a PASTOR. When he was found out and subsequently retired (like two months) early, Shauna's world was understandably rocked. However, she approaches the situation and the subsequent fallout with the perspective of a teenager not a fully grown adult, wife and mother.
She's super dramatic about moving out of town, saying she was "drowning in a sea of grief".
But as you read her book, you know immediately that she wasn't sad because she felt terrible for what her dad did, but because she could no longer live in the bubble of comfort and privilege that she grew up in.
How long did everyone in this family and around this family look the other way from her dad's indiscretions while they continued to solicit donations and "minister" to thousands in public while also irreversibly destroying lives behind closed doors????? She never acknowledges the harm her dad caused to the countless members of the church with his actions.
Yes, it’s not her story to tell, but if she is going to try to elicit sympathy for her “plight”, she needs to be honest about the situation. Instead she goes on and ON and ON about how hard her life was having to move away from her family and friends. Imagine how hard it was for the women subject to his abuse who had to watch him get away with it for years? How can she not see that??
I’m rambling, but this book really rubbed me the wrong way.
However, this book is VERY “woe is me". Her dad was the pastor of one of the largest churches in America. In that role, he repeatedly sexually harassed and assaulted women and got away with it...for decades. This wasn’t Harry Weinstein. This was a PASTOR. When he was found out and subsequently retired (like two months) early, Shauna's world was understandably rocked. However, she approaches the situation and the subsequent fallout with the perspective of a teenager not a fully grown adult, wife and mother.
She's super dramatic about moving out of town, saying she was "drowning in a sea of grief".
But as you read her book, you know immediately that she wasn't sad because she felt terrible for what her dad did, but because she could no longer live in the bubble of comfort and privilege that she grew up in.
How long did everyone in this family and around this family look the other way from her dad's indiscretions while they continued to solicit donations and "minister" to thousands in public while also irreversibly destroying lives behind closed doors????? She never acknowledges the harm her dad caused to the countless members of the church with his actions.
Yes, it’s not her story to tell, but if she is going to try to elicit sympathy for her “plight”, she needs to be honest about the situation. Instead she goes on and ON and ON about how hard her life was having to move away from her family and friends. Imagine how hard it was for the women subject to his abuse who had to watch him get away with it for years? How can she not see that??
I’m rambling, but this book really rubbed me the wrong way.
March 19, 2022
This book impacted me in a so much deeper way than I anticipated. The familiarity of the ache that Shauna endures through all these pages of a life upended and slowly rebuilt resonated more with my own life than anything I’ve read in a long time. It was gut wrenching and inspiring and hopeful. And all the wonderful tidbits of life in Manhattan made me want to move there more than I ever have in my life- and I’ve always wanted to move there. This is a book I will keep and read 10 more times.
May 4, 2022
Shauna Niequist says a lot (of words) without saying a lot (of substance) IMO. I thought this after her book Bittersweet, so I think It's time to stop picking up her books. A few stand out chapters (especially one on prayer) but most weren't very specific despite the promising title
May 3, 2022
I really struggled with my thoughts and scoring on this one. I usually err on the higher side for memoir-style books because they take a certain brand of bravery to write that I don’t possess. However this one just doesn’t.
While the writing style was so quick and easy to read, it stayed cursory at best for the vast majority of the book. There were a slim few chapters where Niequist actually digs in with honesty and real talk. After mentioning an elusive medical issue for a few chapters, there is a chapter about it towards the end. Details abound for which friend she saw and what they ate (every meal is catalogued), but the substantive stuff was missing. It almost felt like meeting up with an old friend who used to confide in you, but has clearly decided to keep it cursory and surface level now. I also felt confused by the number of chapters that related how much writing she had to do because the little chapters bopped around for a span of a few years. The second half felt a little more cohesive, but the first half was scattered across maybe 4 years or so? It was so distracting and with the lack of depth into which hardship she might be referencing, it wasn’t very engaging. The second 1/2 to final third of the book seemed to follow a tighter span falling during the times of COVID. This made it considerably better. I have to say, though, that an editor shuffling some chapters to create some kind of story arc and then making chapter 43 the second to last chapter would have improved it further.
Thank you to Zondervan and Goodreads for the print book giveaway; I was so excited to win a copy of this new offering from Shauna Niequest. Even though my hopes were higher than what the book achieved, I was still so glad to read it and appreciate the few nuggets I took away from it.
While the writing style was so quick and easy to read, it stayed cursory at best for the vast majority of the book. There were a slim few chapters where Niequist actually digs in with honesty and real talk. After mentioning an elusive medical issue for a few chapters, there is a chapter about it towards the end. Details abound for which friend she saw and what they ate (every meal is catalogued), but the substantive stuff was missing. It almost felt like meeting up with an old friend who used to confide in you, but has clearly decided to keep it cursory and surface level now. I also felt confused by the number of chapters that related how much writing she had to do because the little chapters bopped around for a span of a few years. The second half felt a little more cohesive, but the first half was scattered across maybe 4 years or so? It was so distracting and with the lack of depth into which hardship she might be referencing, it wasn’t very engaging. The second 1/2 to final third of the book seemed to follow a tighter span falling during the times of COVID. This made it considerably better. I have to say, though, that an editor shuffling some chapters to create some kind of story arc and then making chapter 43 the second to last chapter would have improved it further.
Thank you to Zondervan and Goodreads for the print book giveaway; I was so excited to win a copy of this new offering from Shauna Niequest. Even though my hopes were higher than what the book achieved, I was still so glad to read it and appreciate the few nuggets I took away from it.
December 22, 2022
This book is not worth the read. This is the first book I read on 1.5x speed just so I was able to get through it.
My issues with the book:
While the books start out okay, it turns into a long drawn out inspirational speech. While she attempts to share different aspects of her life while embracing her move to New York, many of her stories are short and generic. This book reads like a list on Pinterest quotes with small examples attached to them. The unfortunate part is, she mentions that it took her 3 years to write this book yet it does not reflect at all. By the time you finish you won’t learn anything new. Truth be told, I learned more about the author reading the 1 star reviews. Without doing any background research I’m sure Google shares more about who the author is than the author share about who the author is.
Also, she claim to be a Christian yet this book a little to do with Jesus and more to do with Yoga, meditation, therapy and self-discovery with a sprinkle of Jesus and prayer. This book was an absolute dread to get through but I was determined to get through it.
I have to agree with more of the critical reviews on this book. I don’t know how this book received a 4 star rating because it’s not even close to reading as such.
My issues with the book:
While the books start out okay, it turns into a long drawn out inspirational speech. While she attempts to share different aspects of her life while embracing her move to New York, many of her stories are short and generic. This book reads like a list on Pinterest quotes with small examples attached to them. The unfortunate part is, she mentions that it took her 3 years to write this book yet it does not reflect at all. By the time you finish you won’t learn anything new. Truth be told, I learned more about the author reading the 1 star reviews. Without doing any background research I’m sure Google shares more about who the author is than the author share about who the author is.
Also, she claim to be a Christian yet this book a little to do with Jesus and more to do with Yoga, meditation, therapy and self-discovery with a sprinkle of Jesus and prayer. This book was an absolute dread to get through but I was determined to get through it.
I have to agree with more of the critical reviews on this book. I don’t know how this book received a 4 star rating because it’s not even close to reading as such.
November 3, 2022
I wanted to give Shauna Niequist another shot, because I was curious to hear from her after the scandal involving her family and her church. It’s not that I wanted details (those can be found anywhere), but I wanted to hear her side of the story. However, she doesn’t address any of it, except in very vague ways. This was her opportunity to be raw and vulnerable about an actually interesting part of her life, and we got nothing from her. C’mon sister! Tell us how you really feel. About anything. Tell us how much you resent your husband for moving you and your growing boys into an 800 sf apartment while he follows his dreams. That is some ricotta toast all women can relate to. Tell us about the ugly side of NYC during Covid. We know it existed. Say it out loud! And that’s ultimately my issue with Niequist’s writing. It never gets that deep, but it’s dressed up in “Look how real I’m being right now!”
But I do admire her for leaving her hometown and her whole life and moving to NYC with her family. It’s not easy to make a big change like that, so kudos to her.
But I do admire her for leaving her hometown and her whole life and moving to NYC with her family. It’s not easy to make a big change like that, so kudos to her.
July 1, 2022
I was not prepared to love this book as much as I did. I’ve always been endeared to Shauna’s work but this one hit me differently than her past books. I cried and laughed my way through and forced Chris to listen as I read sections aloud every few minutes. Already looking forward to picking this one up again one day.
April 28, 2022
(audio)
I really, really enjoyed this. I think, personally, it pressed on all the right emotional bruises for me (especially right now)--we're considering a big move, motivated by a hunger for community. We're moving into middle age, raising a big-hearted teenage boy. I don't relate to as much of the faith undertones, but maybe I also do? I absolutely understand having a crisis of faith many times throughout my life, when I'm surrounded by a religious right that feels like it misses the entire point of everything. I never quite feel like I belong, and I've been chasing that feeling for almost my whole life. I also love the ritual of gathering, and she talks about that so well. It's not a food memoir, but she made me want to savor a delicious meal. It's not a faith memoir, but she made me curious about searching for a mountain church one day that might welcome this liberal heathen. It's not a New York City memoir, but she captured the city so lovingly, and fresh (the bonus chapter is filled with gems). It's not a hospitality memoir, but she changed the way I think about showing up and connecting with those I love. I sent a text to friends to come over for dinner, spontaneously, right in the middle of reading. It just had such a beating heart on every page (figuratively, I listened on audio, which felt like chatting with a new friend).
I enjoyed it, start to stop.
I really, really enjoyed this. I think, personally, it pressed on all the right emotional bruises for me (especially right now)--we're considering a big move, motivated by a hunger for community. We're moving into middle age, raising a big-hearted teenage boy. I don't relate to as much of the faith undertones, but maybe I also do? I absolutely understand having a crisis of faith many times throughout my life, when I'm surrounded by a religious right that feels like it misses the entire point of everything. I never quite feel like I belong, and I've been chasing that feeling for almost my whole life. I also love the ritual of gathering, and she talks about that so well. It's not a food memoir, but she made me want to savor a delicious meal. It's not a faith memoir, but she made me curious about searching for a mountain church one day that might welcome this liberal heathen. It's not a New York City memoir, but she captured the city so lovingly, and fresh (the bonus chapter is filled with gems). It's not a hospitality memoir, but she changed the way I think about showing up and connecting with those I love. I sent a text to friends to come over for dinner, spontaneously, right in the middle of reading. It just had such a beating heart on every page (figuratively, I listened on audio, which felt like chatting with a new friend).
I enjoyed it, start to stop.
May 25, 2022
I've been reading Shauna's books for years and I must say I found this to be somewhat of a disappointment. I know this is not a memoir and the author has every right to keep parts of her life private, but intimacy breeds connection. She was rather vague throughout the whole book about the hard things she was going through and kept the reader at an arm's length, never letting us in. Very few of the essays stood out and they mostly blended together with references to hard stuff with no real vulnerability, stories about moving to/living in/walking around NYC, and a few food/hospitality references.
I seem to be in the minority with my opinion on this book and that's okay. Authors like Glennon Doyle and Brene Brown who lay themselves bare without the fear of looking unpolished or offensive may just be more my style in my post-Christian life.
I seem to be in the minority with my opinion on this book and that's okay. Authors like Glennon Doyle and Brene Brown who lay themselves bare without the fear of looking unpolished or offensive may just be more my style in my post-Christian life.
May 17, 2022
Goodness... this read like a string of boring blog posts. Someone really thought this was publishable? Bland, barely insightful, nothing to hold onto. Honestly, it felt superficial and sophomoric.
March 6, 2022
BOOK RELEASE DATE: 4/12/22.
this book of short essays was a fairly quick read. niequist discusses the trials of her life that started around the time she turned 40 and the lessons she learned from those hard times. this doesn’t read as a how to fix your problems or a self-help book but more of an encouragement to those in the trenches of life. there were chapters i felt absolutely seen, to the point of tears. there were chapters, especially on parenthood, that i appreciated for what they were and moved on. readers, if you have had to cut ties with your church, you may find some treasures in this book. if you have struggled with your faith, your political affiliation, your aging/changing body, or the evolution of relationships, you may also feel seen in these essays. i often feel bogged down with the large volume of information that i don’t know, and niequist taught me that it’s okay that i haven’t learned all of that yet.
this book of short essays was a fairly quick read. niequist discusses the trials of her life that started around the time she turned 40 and the lessons she learned from those hard times. this doesn’t read as a how to fix your problems or a self-help book but more of an encouragement to those in the trenches of life. there were chapters i felt absolutely seen, to the point of tears. there were chapters, especially on parenthood, that i appreciated for what they were and moved on. readers, if you have had to cut ties with your church, you may find some treasures in this book. if you have struggled with your faith, your political affiliation, your aging/changing body, or the evolution of relationships, you may also feel seen in these essays. i often feel bogged down with the large volume of information that i don’t know, and niequist taught me that it’s okay that i haven’t learned all of that yet.
May 20, 2022
This was a very quick read but mostly because of its essay collection format. It felt like reading jumbled journal entries or blog posts with various thoughts and musings. While this book is focused on navigating transitions which is a theme of my current season of life, I was left wanting more from it.
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May 28, 2022I really want to give this book a glowing review, but I' afraid that's not in the cards. I don't remember exactly how I found thus book, but I definitely read a review, excerpt, or something similar. I bought it because it sounded good and because the subtitle, "Discovering New Ways of Living When the Old Ways Stop Working," seemed timely.
I expected a traditionally structured, coherent book of advice on the specific topic of determining what isn't working in your life and figuring out how to identify and implement new approaches in old situations. Instead, the book is more personal, although it doesn't quite make it to the realm of memoir and seems rather to be more a collection of essays written during and/or about coming through trying times in the author's life. Unfortunately, the book doesn't achieve the fluidity of most memoirs, and the essays, which average only 3-4 pages, lack the depth that would make them truly effective.
The hard parts of the author's story are only alluded to... difficulties with her family and church that "aren't her story to tell," a "hard stretch" in her marriage, difficulties related to their "crazy new life in New York," and a variety of medical issues. Because of this, despite several meaningful insights, most lacked the impact they might have had because they seemed trite and a bit contrived. Without the ability to share in the painful experience, the reader is unable to fully share in the discovery of what isn't working. Likewise, all the solutions or "new ways" of living are wrapped up neatly, with a bow, in roughly three pages each. When the reader doesn't participate in arriving at the solution, it doesn't feel "earned" or reproducible.
I really hate saying this, because the author clearly thought she was all in, revealing the depths of her soul, and she seems infinitely likable-- in fact, I'd love to have lunch with her. I would guess that Niequist is still nursing some of the wounds that prompted the writing of this book and she simply wasn't ready to openly discuss everything that led to her move or was part of that process. Unfortunately, that level of openness and transparency is precisely what is required for a book like this to be a success.
I expected a traditionally structured, coherent book of advice on the specific topic of determining what isn't working in your life and figuring out how to identify and implement new approaches in old situations. Instead, the book is more personal, although it doesn't quite make it to the realm of memoir and seems rather to be more a collection of essays written during and/or about coming through trying times in the author's life. Unfortunately, the book doesn't achieve the fluidity of most memoirs, and the essays, which average only 3-4 pages, lack the depth that would make them truly effective.
The hard parts of the author's story are only alluded to... difficulties with her family and church that "aren't her story to tell," a "hard stretch" in her marriage, difficulties related to their "crazy new life in New York," and a variety of medical issues. Because of this, despite several meaningful insights, most lacked the impact they might have had because they seemed trite and a bit contrived. Without the ability to share in the painful experience, the reader is unable to fully share in the discovery of what isn't working. Likewise, all the solutions or "new ways" of living are wrapped up neatly, with a bow, in roughly three pages each. When the reader doesn't participate in arriving at the solution, it doesn't feel "earned" or reproducible.
I really hate saying this, because the author clearly thought she was all in, revealing the depths of her soul, and she seems infinitely likable-- in fact, I'd love to have lunch with her. I would guess that Niequist is still nursing some of the wounds that prompted the writing of this book and she simply wasn't ready to openly discuss everything that led to her move or was part of that process. Unfortunately, that level of openness and transparency is precisely what is required for a book like this to be a success.
June 12, 2023
“Hospitality is powerful. It can move us. It can heal us. It can remind us that we’re loved, that we matter, that someone cares we’re alive.”
I have this toxic trait of being drawn in by self-help book covers and titles, thinking they’ll be different than all the others. 🥴Ones like this are hard because they’re published by Zondervan and travel in the Christian book circles, but there’s not a single Bible verse (that I saw) in this book. 🙄 So there’s that.
Shauna’s writing style is pretty conversational which I like, and she touches on topics and feelings that can make us as readers feel understood. But I felt that many of her stories were vague and wouldn’t actually offer help to someone looking for it. As someone who attends an expository preaching church (IYKYK! 🙌🏻) I could tell pretty quickly that our views on theology do not align at all.
Unfortunately this one was not for me, aside from a few quotes I liked.
I have this toxic trait of being drawn in by self-help book covers and titles, thinking they’ll be different than all the others. 🥴Ones like this are hard because they’re published by Zondervan and travel in the Christian book circles, but there’s not a single Bible verse (that I saw) in this book. 🙄 So there’s that.
Shauna’s writing style is pretty conversational which I like, and she touches on topics and feelings that can make us as readers feel understood. But I felt that many of her stories were vague and wouldn’t actually offer help to someone looking for it. As someone who attends an expository preaching church (IYKYK! 🙌🏻) I could tell pretty quickly that our views on theology do not align at all.
Unfortunately this one was not for me, aside from a few quotes I liked.
May 2, 2022
Shauna writes and makes you want to visit all of the places she’s been. That’s what I loved about this one as I learned what it was like for her and her family to pick up their suburban life and put down roots in New York City. I want to go and try every restaurant she mentioned in this book.
On the other hand, this was not my favorite of hers. It’s probably not fair to compare it to her earlier books, but a lot of her spiritual conclusions make me scratch my head.
So while I didn’t pick this up to glean wisdom in that area, she 100% delivers in imagery, vulnerability, and connection. She always makes me want to write.
On the other hand, this was not my favorite of hers. It’s probably not fair to compare it to her earlier books, but a lot of her spiritual conclusions make me scratch my head.
So while I didn’t pick this up to glean wisdom in that area, she 100% delivers in imagery, vulnerability, and connection. She always makes me want to write.
September 12, 2022
This rating feels harsh, but I really struggled to get through this book. I know I enjoyed Present Over Perfect and Cold Tangerines when I read them in 2018 and 2019, so I was excited to pick this up. But I found this book fairly insufferable and irritating. She just says so much while saying so little.
- She VERY briefly acknowledges her privilege, but 90% of the book just did not feel relatable.
- Big "woe is me, life is so hard" energy from someone who is clearly very well-off and seemingly always has been.
- I'm not satisfied with the way she vaguely mentions but profoundly doesn't address the scandal surrounding her father's sexual misconduct. Her focus was very much on how the scandal threatened her privileged way of life, not how her father's victims' lives were ruined.
- Talk about fancy cheese and prosciutto one more time. We get it, you're a foodie.
- She is constantly saying that something "healed" her or "saved" her, and the hyperbole just makes things lose their meaning.
- I'm skeptical of her "quarantine pod" and all of the socializing she did during Covid. Idk just rubbed me the wrong way.
Maybe I'm just more grumpy and cynical now, but I did not like this at all. Okay, there was one chapter I liked where she talked about learning to paint with water colors and being bad at it and that's okay.
- She VERY briefly acknowledges her privilege, but 90% of the book just did not feel relatable.
- Big "woe is me, life is so hard" energy from someone who is clearly very well-off and seemingly always has been.
- I'm not satisfied with the way she vaguely mentions but profoundly doesn't address the scandal surrounding her father's sexual misconduct. Her focus was very much on how the scandal threatened her privileged way of life, not how her father's victims' lives were ruined.
- Talk about fancy cheese and prosciutto one more time. We get it, you're a foodie.
- She is constantly saying that something "healed" her or "saved" her, and the hyperbole just makes things lose their meaning.
- I'm skeptical of her "quarantine pod" and all of the socializing she did during Covid. Idk just rubbed me the wrong way.
Maybe I'm just more grumpy and cynical now, but I did not like this at all. Okay, there was one chapter I liked where she talked about learning to paint with water colors and being bad at it and that's okay.
April 21, 2022
I’ve read all of Shauna Niequist’s books and I have loved them all at different times, for different reasons. When I read her writing, I feel like I pulled up a chair with an old friend and a cup of coffee or a glass of wine. Her writing is like a warm hug for me.
In I Guess I Haven’t Learned That Yet, Shauna writes about change and transition and new seasons. She writes about Hope when it feels like it’s all lost and how to hold space for yourself to grow and change in the ways we do we for others. She’s humble and honest and I closed the book feeling encouraged, refreshed and like God’s love and story for my life has so many chapters that have been, are being and will be written— they will all be different & there will be new things to learn, but they will all be good.
In I Guess I Haven’t Learned That Yet, Shauna writes about change and transition and new seasons. She writes about Hope when it feels like it’s all lost and how to hold space for yourself to grow and change in the ways we do we for others. She’s humble and honest and I closed the book feeling encouraged, refreshed and like God’s love and story for my life has so many chapters that have been, are being and will be written— they will all be different & there will be new things to learn, but they will all be good.
April 6, 2025
I did not want this book to end!! I probably will start re reading it soon, or at least keep it close. shauna is my absolute favorite non fiction / memoir writer, and this new book didn't dossapoint. I dog eared and underlined so many pages. I bring up her stories in conversations, and screen shot pages to send to friends. love love love.
udpate: re read!! well, I listened this time. and loved it just as much. picked up on new things from the past time.
udpate: re read!! well, I listened this time. and loved it just as much. picked up on new things from the past time.
July 7, 2024
I think every chapter at some point made me chuckle to myself. This memoir was relatable & encouraging to me in so many ways!
March 17, 2022
Three years ago, after some difficult life events, Shauna & her family moved from the suburbs of Chicago to Manhattan. They realized quickly that NYC is much different from the midwestern life they were used to & adopted the mantra “I guess I haven’t learned that yet” when encountering new & different ways to live & show up. This book is very much memoir in bitesized pieces.
👍🏻: The way Shauna writes brings the most beautiful imagery. I love how her chapters are short (this 270 page book has 50 chapters), but somehow have so much depth & make you think & appreciate the beauty around you even more. I also want to adopt this mantra myself, because it’s so much more gentle than the normal response of, “I should have known that…”
👎🏻: This could be because it was the advanced reader copy & hadn’t been copy edited yet, but some ends of chapters felt very abrupt & disjointed.
I would recommend this book to anyone who…is looking for a book that brings peace, gentle encouragement, & feels like sitting down for coffee on a front poor for deep chats with a good friend.
👍🏻: The way Shauna writes brings the most beautiful imagery. I love how her chapters are short (this 270 page book has 50 chapters), but somehow have so much depth & make you think & appreciate the beauty around you even more. I also want to adopt this mantra myself, because it’s so much more gentle than the normal response of, “I should have known that…”
👎🏻: This could be because it was the advanced reader copy & hadn’t been copy edited yet, but some ends of chapters felt very abrupt & disjointed.
I would recommend this book to anyone who…is looking for a book that brings peace, gentle encouragement, & feels like sitting down for coffee on a front poor for deep chats with a good friend.
June 26, 2022
Shauna has been one of my favorite authors for years. I don’t think I have stopped talking about Present Over Perfect since I read it.
This book was definitely her voice and tone that I love so much in her essays but the content was more vague than I am used to. She talked a lot about pain but I think I was craving specifics and scenes rather than generalizations. I get that she wants to maintain privacy, that makes sense. But many of the chapters sounded similar without enough distinction to make me feel like it was a total experience. It felt more like a summarized experience.
If I were a foodie, this book would have had more special charm because she mentions food often, which is her style and maybe something I’m jealous of- her love for cooking and hospitality and I don’t share that with her.
I did enjoy several chapters and appreciated her honesty, of course. That’s what I love about her. She reveals her struggles and that’s what makes me feel less alone. So thank you Shauna for showing up and being your true self. That’s all we are asking for and that’s what you did.
This book was definitely her voice and tone that I love so much in her essays but the content was more vague than I am used to. She talked a lot about pain but I think I was craving specifics and scenes rather than generalizations. I get that she wants to maintain privacy, that makes sense. But many of the chapters sounded similar without enough distinction to make me feel like it was a total experience. It felt more like a summarized experience.
If I were a foodie, this book would have had more special charm because she mentions food often, which is her style and maybe something I’m jealous of- her love for cooking and hospitality and I don’t share that with her.
I did enjoy several chapters and appreciated her honesty, of course. That’s what I love about her. She reveals her struggles and that’s what makes me feel less alone. So thank you Shauna for showing up and being your true self. That’s all we are asking for and that’s what you did.
January 29, 2024
DNF at chapter 8. So not very far in and this feels like the beginning of a deconstruction. Very spiritual without being Christ-Centered. Honestly praying for Shauna and her family because she confesses to going through some very serious identity-severing Church difficulty. Difficulty that is centered around her father and his church in her home town. Praying she continues to heal towards Christ because I'm not sure that's the trajectory we're headed at this juncture. I really do hate speaking disparagingly but also felt I need to warn others who have read her previous writings and heard her messages. Beware.
May 23, 2022
This was a timely read for me. As I’m entering a “things aren’t quite working like they used to” season, this short compilation of essays is like the encouraging voice of someone a couple years ahead of me. Shauna Niequist’s voice is beautifully heartfelt, reassuring, and hopeful. I’m also not sad about all the food talk.
I listened to this on audio, and my only regret is not having a physical copy to highlight and annotate.
I listened to this on audio, and my only regret is not having a physical copy to highlight and annotate.
June 24, 2022
I really wanted to like this book but it’s so disjointed that I just could not finish. Maybe the title led me to believe that it was about… I don’t know, maybe learning something new and personal growth as we get older but it’s almost like reading random blog posts about just about any subject other than learning something new. After trudging along for a while I decided not to finish it. I guess I learned that life is too short to read a book you’re not enjoying.
February 28, 2022
I get to read this book for job-related purposes. Well, that much of an obsession over religion and relating everything -EVERYTHING- on Christianity won’t help in the long run. It sure won’t when reaching out to readers from diverse backgrounds and belief systems. Reads like an ode to Jesus and the church rather than a self reflective tool.
July 6, 2022
5+ ⭐️. A very timely read and just what I needed. I took a ton of notes and made lots of highlights. May need to read again. My favorite book by her yet!
April 30, 2023
Good book. I enjoyed hearing about their new life in NYC, but didn’t find much substance.
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