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Count the Ways
In her most ambitious novel to date, New York Times bestselling author Joyce Maynard takes on the story of a family from the hopeful early days of young marriage to parenthood, divorce, and its costly aftermath—to illuminate how the mistakes of parents are passed down through generations to fester, or to be healed.
After falling in love in the last years of the 1970s, Eleanor and Cam follow their dream of raising three children on a New Hampshire farm. Theirs is a seemingly idyllic life of summer softball games and Labor Day cookouts, snow days and skating on the pond. But when a tragic accident permanently injures the family’s youngest child, Eleanor blames Cam. Her inability to forgive him leads to a devastating betrayal: an affair with the family babysitter that brings about the end of their marriage.
Over the decades that follow, the five members of this fractured family—and the many others who make up their world—make surprising discoveries and decisions that occasionally bring them together, and often tear them apart. As we follow the family from the days of illegal abortion and the draft through the early computer age, the Challenger explosion, the AIDS epidemic, the early awakenings of the #MeToo era, and beyond?through the gender transition of one of the children and another’s choice to cease communication with her mother?we witness a family forced to confront essential, painful truths of its past, and find redemption in the face of unanticipated disaster.
With endearingly flawed characters and a keen eye for detail, Joyce Maynard transforms the territory she knows best—home, family, parenthood, love, and loss—into the stuff of a page-turning thriller. In this achingly beautiful novel, she reminds us how great sorrow and great joy may coexist—and frequently do.
After falling in love in the last years of the 1970s, Eleanor and Cam follow their dream of raising three children on a New Hampshire farm. Theirs is a seemingly idyllic life of summer softball games and Labor Day cookouts, snow days and skating on the pond. But when a tragic accident permanently injures the family’s youngest child, Eleanor blames Cam. Her inability to forgive him leads to a devastating betrayal: an affair with the family babysitter that brings about the end of their marriage.
Over the decades that follow, the five members of this fractured family—and the many others who make up their world—make surprising discoveries and decisions that occasionally bring them together, and often tear them apart. As we follow the family from the days of illegal abortion and the draft through the early computer age, the Challenger explosion, the AIDS epidemic, the early awakenings of the #MeToo era, and beyond?through the gender transition of one of the children and another’s choice to cease communication with her mother?we witness a family forced to confront essential, painful truths of its past, and find redemption in the face of unanticipated disaster.
With endearingly flawed characters and a keen eye for detail, Joyce Maynard transforms the territory she knows best—home, family, parenthood, love, and loss—into the stuff of a page-turning thriller. In this achingly beautiful novel, she reminds us how great sorrow and great joy may coexist—and frequently do.
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First published July 13, 2021
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About the author
Joyce Maynard
54 books2,774 followersJoyce Maynard first came to national attention with the publication of her New York Times cover story “An Eighteen-Year-Old Looks Back on Life” in 1973, when she was a freshman at Yale. Since then, she has been a reporter and columnist for The New York Times, a syndicated newspaper columnist whose “Domestic Affairs” column appeared in more than fifty papers nationwide, a regular contributor to NPR. Her writing has also been published in national magazines, including O, The Oprah Magazine; Newsweek; The New York Times Magazine; Forbes; Salon; San Francisco Magazine, USA Weekly; and many more. She has appeared on Good Morning America, The Today Show, CNN, Hardball with Chris Matthews, Charlie Rose, and on Fresh Air. Essays of hers appear in numerous collections. She has been a fellow at Yaddo, UCross, and The MacDowell Colony, where she wrote her most recently published novel, Labor Day.
The author of many books of fiction and nonfiction, including the novel To Die For (in which she also plays the role of Nicole Kidman’s attorney) and the bestselling memoir, At Home in the World, Maynard makes her home in Mill Valley, California. Her novel, The Usual Rules—a story about surviving loss—has been a favorite of book club audiences of all ages, and was chosen by the American Library Association as one of the ten best books for young readers for 2003.
Joyce Maynard also runs the Lake Atitlan Writing Workshop in Guatemala, founded in 2002.
The author of many books of fiction and nonfiction, including the novel To Die For (in which she also plays the role of Nicole Kidman’s attorney) and the bestselling memoir, At Home in the World, Maynard makes her home in Mill Valley, California. Her novel, The Usual Rules—a story about surviving loss—has been a favorite of book club audiences of all ages, and was chosen by the American Library Association as one of the ten best books for young readers for 2003.
Joyce Maynard also runs the Lake Atitlan Writing Workshop in Guatemala, founded in 2002.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 2,334 reviews
July 8, 2021
I think I read a different book than most other early reviewers. I certainly had a different reaction. I wanted to throw this book across the room, but I read it on my iPad so...
Lately, I've been trying to at least appreciate the books I have not enjoyed, because I read somewhere that just because you are not the audience for a book doesn't mean it doesn't have value. In that regard let me say that the beginning of this book was very evocative, in terms of the setting and describing the house and the life they lived. It's not the life for me - in fact the perfectly imperfect life of people who never watch TV and only eat home grown vegetables in their rambling farmhouse in second-hand yet trendy clothes makes me want to vomit. (in this way, Count the Ways reminded me a lot of This is How It Always Is - sanctimonious.) But I did definitely get a sense of place. I was invested in the story, even though Cam was an artisan jackass, the kind of fun dad who makes cupcakes for breakfast and never cleans up the kitchen afterward. Who is happy to live off his wife's money, the kind who "babysits" his own kids. I was happy reading along with my hate.
But by the end I hated every single character in the book, including the kids. The only person I didn't hate was Tommy, and even he got a hearty eye-roll. Was I supposed to feel sorry for Eleanor? Be impressed by her selflessness and her superhuman ability to forgive? Because all I thought was fuck this! Fuck not telling your kids the truth, and fuck letting your husband have everything his way, and fuck letting your own needs and desires get run over by everyone else's.
I understand the redemptive power of forgiveness, and I also understand putting your kid's needs before your own. But I also understand boundaries, and standing up for myself, and realizing that happiness is not a zero-sum game.
Lately, I've been trying to at least appreciate the books I have not enjoyed, because I read somewhere that just because you are not the audience for a book doesn't mean it doesn't have value. In that regard let me say that the beginning of this book was very evocative, in terms of the setting and describing the house and the life they lived. It's not the life for me - in fact the perfectly imperfect life of people who never watch TV and only eat home grown vegetables in their rambling farmhouse in second-hand yet trendy clothes makes me want to vomit. (in this way, Count the Ways reminded me a lot of This is How It Always Is - sanctimonious.) But I did definitely get a sense of place. I was invested in the story, even though Cam was an artisan jackass, the kind of fun dad who makes cupcakes for breakfast and never cleans up the kitchen afterward. Who is happy to live off his wife's money, the kind who "babysits" his own kids. I was happy reading along with my hate.
But by the end I hated every single character in the book, including the kids. The only person I didn't hate was Tommy, and even he got a hearty eye-roll. Was I supposed to feel sorry for Eleanor? Be impressed by her selflessness and her superhuman ability to forgive? Because all I thought was fuck this! Fuck not telling your kids the truth, and fuck letting your husband have everything his way, and fuck letting your own needs and desires get run over by everyone else's.
I understand the redemptive power of forgiveness, and I also understand putting your kid's needs before your own. But I also understand boundaries, and standing up for myself, and realizing that happiness is not a zero-sum game.
June 22, 2021
Update: I just realized that this book is available to everyone in books stores, and the library as of last week….
I’m mentioning it again now because it’s still one of my favorite books….( I’m sending a physical book to my sister for her birthday this month)…
It’s such a wonderful page turning story — I just want to put it in the hands of all of my close girlfriends -
Wish many people read it - because it’s just so much pleasure.
NEW UPDATED REVIEW.... The one I started yesterday had technological hiccup problems:
Back with my book report:
“Count Your Ways”.....
The prose is deceptively simple, but Joyce Maynard’s insights are always complex. She knows how to build a story, develop characters with utterly lifelike quality, and keep both the pages and our minds turning until the very end.
I WAS SOOOO INVOLVED in this novel...it’s deeply felt, compelling, ....with a portrait of a women at its center [Eleanor] whose struggles and demands of loyalty were moving and realistic.
Eleanor — a primary protagonist —is an unforgettable female character. I admired her profoundly. Wife, mother, artist, writer....
She taught by example, took inspired actions, strived for harmony, loved wholeheartedly, was incredibly resourceful, (in good and hard times), a great friend, and her ability to shift from anger to forgiveness wasn’t a quick panacea... but it was real...( natural as in the process of living).
Eleanor was wise enough to trust that sorrows had its own timetable for healing. I love this woman. I want to be friends with her.
The nostalgic memories that embedded our lives in the 1970’s .....80’s will come flooding back — MY GOD....JOYCE DID THIS SOOOO GOOD!!!.....music, foods, days before technology, filled with our experiences- our relationships - our sorrows - our joys.....
SERIOUSLY....my heart was aching and singing at the same time.
As for the history we all remember.....and are reminded with short references....The death of Princess Diana ,The death of Michael Jackson, The Space Shuttle Challenger disaster,
the AIDS epidemic, Watergate hearings, Yellow Ribbons around trees.
The themes are strong - relevant -with emotional energy and generosity.
This is a family story. There’s a marriage. There’s kids. There’s divorce.
love, playful days, kids playing on the grass, goldfish crackers and boxes of juice, horseshoe, ice cream, creative family traditions, (putting on plays, sailing boats with their homemade cork people, Valentines, and winter snow forts), foods, Labor Day community gatherings, ( piña colada‘s, casseroles, chicken wings, cakes, etc.), swimming in pond, arts & crafts, The Yellow Jackets local softball games, compromises, distinct seasons: summer, winter, spring, and fall, full moon summers/roasting marshmallows, more falling in love, college, financial concerns, plenty of things to worry about, (and grow from), betrayal, publishing, wood making, music, art, yoga, dogs, rocks, tragedy, identity, loss, secrets, death, abuse, abortion, sickness, understanding, forgiveness, and joy.
***BASICALLY THE BEST FAMILY STORY IN RECENT YEARS***
SKIP THIS NEXT SECTION ‘unless’ you want more tidbits of the main & supporting characters: NO DIRECT SPOILERS....(only tidbits)
The Akersville, New Hampshire farm-family
Eleanor....talented, [professional-successful -artist, writer], wife, mother.
Cam, ( Tall-handsome, easy going, Fire Red hair, husband, father, wood craftsman/ made burl bowls sold at craft faires/ turned yoga devotee/physical therapist)...
Their kids: Alison, ( Ali, Al), Ursula, Toby. Each child has unique qualities.
Other characters ....Patty, ( she was Eleanor’s college roommate),
Matt Hallinan, ( Patty’s older brother), Coco, (babysitter turned wife & mother-worked in the healing arts, vegan), Phyllis, ( helped with the children), Timmy Pouliot, (blue eye heartthrob), Walt, (one of my favorite characters) & his wife Edith were neighbors,
Peggy & Bob Olim...and their little daughters Gina, and Kimmie, Bonnie Henderson ( she loved to talk to the wives - while sitting on the bleachers at the softball games - watching their husbands play - sharing about her sex life), Evan & Betsy, Simon & Tilda, Sal & Lucinda Petrine,
Charlie & Sally ( dogs), Darla ( Eleanor’s best friend), married to Bobby, etc....etc.
NOTE....
....IT WAS NOT HARD TO KEEP TRACK OF -who’s who-in this novel: I PROMISE!....
Joyce simply made it easy for us to want to know the subtle and juicy details, of everyone she included.
MUSIC....
OH MY GOSH....I LOVED THE weaving of music references....
Here’s a few mentioned.....Joni Mitchell, Simon and Garfunkel, Michael Jackson, Leroy Brown, Bruce Springsteen, Rolling Stones, Van Morrison, Crosby stills and Nash, the Beatles, Hank Williams, Vince Hill, The Commodores, Cat Stevens, Guns N’ Roses, The doors, The Fifth dimensions, Bob Dylan ( whom I share the same triple Gemini birthday).....and I’m sure I’m forgetting.
“The Times They Are a-Changin” 🎶
.....Bob Dylan
“The seasons they go round and round
And The painted ponies go up and down
We’re captive on the carousel of time
We can’t return we can only look
Behind from where we came
And go round and round and round
In the circle game” 🎶
.....Joni Mitchell
“River” 🎶
“I wish I had a river I could skate away on”.....
SMALL EXCERPTS THAT SPOKE TO ME....( only a few), but the ones I’ve included either feel sooo truthful to me ...inspire a lasting feeling in me, or I relate to the emotion deeply.
......A little laugh moment ....( taken out of context)...
....”That’s probably why Edith and I stay together all these years. If I try to leave she might have got her hands on my truck”. ( words of Walt)
.......”There was this feeling, on softball nights—palpable as the crackling of landing on the bug zapper— of sex in the air: Men performing as heroically as they could for their women. Their own, or somebody else’s. Some nights, you could almost feel the heat coming off the field, of the women watching other men, or watching the other women”.
........”I don’t ever have to write one more sappy line for some anniversary card”—
.......”For Eleanor, the distance that existed now between herself and her daughters was a grief greater than anything she’d known, including the deaths of her parents, and in her worst moments, she had pointed this out to them, not that they needed reminders”.
.......”Do you know what’s good things about rocks? They don’t break”.
If anyone has read this review—THANK YOU—I’m not a writer. I’m a reader. But I loved reading this book so very much .....
My goal.....in writing as much as I did,.....
is with sincere hope that I might offer a little bit of justice......without giving spoilers. Highly recommended to those who enjoy sinking your teeth into a delicious family drama.....filled with substance....
It goes without saying..... I thoroughly love and enjoyed this book.
WORLDS ARE CONTAINED in a single page....
.....intelligent storytelling & sparkly-Tree-hugging human.
I’m mentioning it again now because it’s still one of my favorite books….( I’m sending a physical book to my sister for her birthday this month)…
It’s such a wonderful page turning story — I just want to put it in the hands of all of my close girlfriends -
Wish many people read it - because it’s just so much pleasure.
NEW UPDATED REVIEW.... The one I started yesterday had technological hiccup problems:
Back with my book report:
“Count Your Ways”.....
The prose is deceptively simple, but Joyce Maynard’s insights are always complex. She knows how to build a story, develop characters with utterly lifelike quality, and keep both the pages and our minds turning until the very end.
I WAS SOOOO INVOLVED in this novel...it’s deeply felt, compelling, ....with a portrait of a women at its center [Eleanor] whose struggles and demands of loyalty were moving and realistic.
Eleanor — a primary protagonist —is an unforgettable female character. I admired her profoundly. Wife, mother, artist, writer....
She taught by example, took inspired actions, strived for harmony, loved wholeheartedly, was incredibly resourceful, (in good and hard times), a great friend, and her ability to shift from anger to forgiveness wasn’t a quick panacea... but it was real...( natural as in the process of living).
Eleanor was wise enough to trust that sorrows had its own timetable for healing. I love this woman. I want to be friends with her.
The nostalgic memories that embedded our lives in the 1970’s .....80’s will come flooding back — MY GOD....JOYCE DID THIS SOOOO GOOD!!!.....music, foods, days before technology, filled with our experiences- our relationships - our sorrows - our joys.....
SERIOUSLY....my heart was aching and singing at the same time.
As for the history we all remember.....and are reminded with short references....The death of Princess Diana ,The death of Michael Jackson, The Space Shuttle Challenger disaster,
the AIDS epidemic, Watergate hearings, Yellow Ribbons around trees.
The themes are strong - relevant -with emotional energy and generosity.
This is a family story. There’s a marriage. There’s kids. There’s divorce.
love, playful days, kids playing on the grass, goldfish crackers and boxes of juice, horseshoe, ice cream, creative family traditions, (putting on plays, sailing boats with their homemade cork people, Valentines, and winter snow forts), foods, Labor Day community gatherings, ( piña colada‘s, casseroles, chicken wings, cakes, etc.), swimming in pond, arts & crafts, The Yellow Jackets local softball games, compromises, distinct seasons: summer, winter, spring, and fall, full moon summers/roasting marshmallows, more falling in love, college, financial concerns, plenty of things to worry about, (and grow from), betrayal, publishing, wood making, music, art, yoga, dogs, rocks, tragedy, identity, loss, secrets, death, abuse, abortion, sickness, understanding, forgiveness, and joy.
***BASICALLY THE BEST FAMILY STORY IN RECENT YEARS***
SKIP THIS NEXT SECTION ‘unless’ you want more tidbits of the main & supporting characters: NO DIRECT SPOILERS....(only tidbits)
The Akersville, New Hampshire farm-family
Eleanor....talented, [professional-successful -artist, writer], wife, mother.
Cam, ( Tall-handsome, easy going, Fire Red hair, husband, father, wood craftsman/ made burl bowls sold at craft faires/ turned yoga devotee/physical therapist)...
Their kids: Alison, ( Ali, Al), Ursula, Toby. Each child has unique qualities.
Other characters ....Patty, ( she was Eleanor’s college roommate),
Matt Hallinan, ( Patty’s older brother), Coco, (babysitter turned wife & mother-worked in the healing arts, vegan), Phyllis, ( helped with the children), Timmy Pouliot, (blue eye heartthrob), Walt, (one of my favorite characters) & his wife Edith were neighbors,
Peggy & Bob Olim...and their little daughters Gina, and Kimmie, Bonnie Henderson ( she loved to talk to the wives - while sitting on the bleachers at the softball games - watching their husbands play - sharing about her sex life), Evan & Betsy, Simon & Tilda, Sal & Lucinda Petrine,
Charlie & Sally ( dogs), Darla ( Eleanor’s best friend), married to Bobby, etc....etc.
NOTE....
....IT WAS NOT HARD TO KEEP TRACK OF -who’s who-in this novel: I PROMISE!....
Joyce simply made it easy for us to want to know the subtle and juicy details, of everyone she included.
MUSIC....
OH MY GOSH....I LOVED THE weaving of music references....
Here’s a few mentioned.....Joni Mitchell, Simon and Garfunkel, Michael Jackson, Leroy Brown, Bruce Springsteen, Rolling Stones, Van Morrison, Crosby stills and Nash, the Beatles, Hank Williams, Vince Hill, The Commodores, Cat Stevens, Guns N’ Roses, The doors, The Fifth dimensions, Bob Dylan ( whom I share the same triple Gemini birthday).....and I’m sure I’m forgetting.
“The Times They Are a-Changin” 🎶
.....Bob Dylan
“The seasons they go round and round
And The painted ponies go up and down
We’re captive on the carousel of time
We can’t return we can only look
Behind from where we came
And go round and round and round
In the circle game” 🎶
.....Joni Mitchell
“River” 🎶
“I wish I had a river I could skate away on”.....
SMALL EXCERPTS THAT SPOKE TO ME....( only a few), but the ones I’ve included either feel sooo truthful to me ...inspire a lasting feeling in me, or I relate to the emotion deeply.
......A little laugh moment ....( taken out of context)...
....”That’s probably why Edith and I stay together all these years. If I try to leave she might have got her hands on my truck”. ( words of Walt)
.......”There was this feeling, on softball nights—palpable as the crackling of landing on the bug zapper— of sex in the air: Men performing as heroically as they could for their women. Their own, or somebody else’s. Some nights, you could almost feel the heat coming off the field, of the women watching other men, or watching the other women”.
........”I don’t ever have to write one more sappy line for some anniversary card”—
.......”For Eleanor, the distance that existed now between herself and her daughters was a grief greater than anything she’d known, including the deaths of her parents, and in her worst moments, she had pointed this out to them, not that they needed reminders”.
.......”Do you know what’s good things about rocks? They don’t break”.
If anyone has read this review—THANK YOU—I’m not a writer. I’m a reader. But I loved reading this book so very much .....
My goal.....in writing as much as I did,.....
is with sincere hope that I might offer a little bit of justice......without giving spoilers. Highly recommended to those who enjoy sinking your teeth into a delicious family drama.....filled with substance....
It goes without saying..... I thoroughly love and enjoyed this book.
WORLDS ARE CONTAINED in a single page....
.....intelligent storytelling & sparkly-Tree-hugging human.
September 25, 2021
How do I love thee? Let me count the ways. Let me peel back this precious family, one layer at a time.
Eleonor, the mother, has made many sacrifices to hold them together. Family is her life. Cam, the hippy father, never worries about a thing. Doesn’t bring in an income and he is all about living life to the fullest at the expense of burdening his wife to carry the family financially and in many other ways.
A family whose love is so tightly woven together until a tragedy takes place and it unravels.
At the centre the ash oak tree. Huge and solid. In the farm they lived in as a family. Then, many years later, struck by lightening at a gathering. A significant sign of division but an opportunity to mend.
This was so beautifully captured. The wild love of youth; then children and the passion of being a mom. The inequalities and stress of women working; mothering. The imbalance in partnership. The resentments. The sacrifices a mother makes and in this story, at a huge cost. It gave me anxiety at times and was heart .wrenching but utterly amazing and relatable.
This was a 5⭐️ My baptism into Maynard’s glorious writing.
Eleonor, the mother, has made many sacrifices to hold them together. Family is her life. Cam, the hippy father, never worries about a thing. Doesn’t bring in an income and he is all about living life to the fullest at the expense of burdening his wife to carry the family financially and in many other ways.
A family whose love is so tightly woven together until a tragedy takes place and it unravels.
At the centre the ash oak tree. Huge and solid. In the farm they lived in as a family. Then, many years later, struck by lightening at a gathering. A significant sign of division but an opportunity to mend.
This was so beautifully captured. The wild love of youth; then children and the passion of being a mom. The inequalities and stress of women working; mothering. The imbalance in partnership. The resentments. The sacrifices a mother makes and in this story, at a huge cost. It gave me anxiety at times and was heart .wrenching but utterly amazing and relatable.
This was a 5⭐️ My baptism into Maynard’s glorious writing.
July 18, 2021
I’m sorry.
I love you.
Thank you.
Please forgive me.
-- Ho'oponopono prayer
The Epigraph above, the one that Joyce Maynard chose to begin this novel with, is the perfect introduction for this story. A story about a family, families, love and the mistakes we make, and the need to both ask for and offer forgiveness in life, and perhaps especially in families.
This story begins as Eleanor is in her mid-fifties, but it is only for a moment as early on the story returns to her life the year she turned twenty, and found herself driving around New England, listening to her mixtapes of Joni Mitchell, Edith Piaf, some R&B singers, and whatever other melancholy songs fit her mood. She’d published her first illustrated children’s book the year before, and was looking for a place to call home, a place which offered peace and quiet, and enough land for a garden. As a child of parents who were unavailable to her even when they were home, she was used to living alone. When the realtor took her there, the lilacs were in bloom, and a large tree with branches which seemed to embrace her from above.
Entering the small house, it spoke to her of the love shared and laughter heard once upon a time inside these walls. It felt like what she’d always imagined home should feel like, as though the love once shared inside these walls was still there, welcoming her, offering her love and a place to heal.
For those who did live through this time, there are parts that will bring back memories, those iconic moments in time that will likely never be forgotten. Where one was when hearing the news of the Challenger, Christa McAuliffe, the untimely deaths of lives lost over the years, Princess Diana and Michael Jackson among others. The music of the eras adds another layer to stir those memories, but while the music and references may be of an earlier time, this story is timeless. It is a story of the family Eleanor will come to build in time, but it is also the story - in many ways - of all families. The families that her children will build, in turn, and the many struggles we all face in the process of living a life. Love. Forgiveness. Healing.
This is the fifth book by Joyce Maynard that I’ve read, and while I’ve loved her others, this one was one of those books that really spoke to me. I felt every emotion, I heard the music. I could envision it all as it was unfolding, every lovely moment, every heartbreaking one, as well. Life. Love. What is one without the other?
Published: 13 July 2021
Many thanks for the ARC provided by William Morrow and Custom House / William Morrow
July 2, 2024
Family drama at it's best. Loved the ending, but Kharma sure is a... Can't wait for the follow up, How the Light Gets In.
October 1, 2021
I had so many emotions while reading this..
It’s the story of a family mostly set during the 70’s and 80’s.
This story of Eleanor, Cam and their three children.. their fractured family.. sacrifices made for the sake of the children.
A story of love and forgiveness, above all!
I loved it!
It’s the story of a family mostly set during the 70’s and 80’s.
This story of Eleanor, Cam and their three children.. their fractured family.. sacrifices made for the sake of the children.
A story of love and forgiveness, above all!
I loved it!
September 23, 2021
Count the Ways by Joyce Maynard was a story about family. Like many of her books, Joyce Maynard, loosely based this family saga on her own life and experiences. Sometimes a person’s upbringing and childhood might influence and dictate their visions for how they pictured how their own families would look like and live. If a person grew up unhappy and was shown no love or affection, that person would probably work harder to provide a nurturing and loving home for their family. Eleanor, being an only child and being neglected and shown little to no love from her parents wanted to provide a loving and safe environment for her own family. When she purchased the farm, she saw herself raising her family there. Her children would be loved and nourished and experience nothing like the childhood she had had. Count the Ways portrayed the young, new, and innocent love of Eleanor and Cam to parenthood and the instinctive bond that motherhood brought to protect her children at any cost, to a devastating and life altering accident that changed their family’s dynamics forever, to divorce and the repercussions that followed, to coming full circle and embracing forgiveness and hope for the future. Count the Ways embraced Eleanor’s, Cam’s and their three children’s journey through life as a family and beyond. It was a powerful, captivating and emotional story. The characters were well developed and complex. It portrayed successes and failures at love, marriage, motherhood, domestic abuse, rape and its emotional consequences, having a trans child, balancing motherhood and a career, roles of mothers and fathers, responsibility, holding on and learning how to let go and above all else learning how to forgive. Count the Ways was a beautiful story about a flawed yet loving family. I really enjoyed reading Count the Ways and highly recommend it.
August 31, 2021
She turned her face to the racing water. Even now, in midsummer, it crashed over the rocks, but somewhere, a mile beyond this place, or three miles, or five — beyond the old people sitting in their cars listening to the radio, beyond the men with their fishing poles, conferring among themselves whether the Red Sox had a chance in the playoffs, and the young couples kissing or smoking weed, and the mothers nursing babies; beyond the teenagers daring each other to jump off the rocks, and the ones, like Eleanor and Cam, just standing there taking it all in — all those human beings, figuring out how to live their lives the best they knew; count the ways — the brook would keep on running. Sometimes faster, sometimes slower, but the water never stopped moving. It flowed all the way to the dam in town, and beyond to the river, which flowed to the ocean, which reached far as the horizon, and even farther than that.
If Count the Ways hadn’t been a book club selection, it would have been one of my very rare DNF’s: I found the writing to be clunky and amateurish at both the sentence level and at the overall plot level; and with unrelatable characters, aggravating repetitions, and no discernable deeper meaning, if I were author Joyce Maynard, I’d be taking my name off of this one (and asking for any editing fees to be returned). Just look at that quote I opened with — featuring the book’s title and, arguably, its essence — it is just so much bafflegab and annoying punctuation; I am rounding this up to two stars only because it is not the worst book I’ve ever read and will continue to reserve my only one star rating for that particular waste of time. But this was close.
In no other way that she could think of would Eleanor be called a superstitious person, but there had been a time when she could not round the final bend in the long, dead-end dirt road that led up to this place without saying the words out loud, “I’m home.” Maybe some part of her actually believed that if she ever failed to speak the words, something terrible might happen to one of them. How would she ever survive if it did?
Only, she had
As the book opens, Eleanor is returning to her former home in the country for her son’s wedding, and by the cool reception she gets from her two eldest children, it’s obvious that she hasn’t seen them for years. This opening bit includes the line, “Sometimes you leave a place because you don’t like being there. Sometimes you have to leave because you love it too much.” Although that is stated as some kind of truism, it made zero sense to me and I will acknowledge that I kept reading this overlong book, in part, just to see if Maynard could prove it to me. She did not. The basic premise: Eleanor’s parents died when she was sixteen, and despite her age and her family’s apparent wealth, she was left without guardians or an inheritance. Happily, she was a self-taught artist, and while finishing up boarding school, Eleanor sold a children’s book for a lot of money, and by the time she was twenty, she decided to buy herself a rundown farmhouse in the middle of nowhere. She marries a hot woodworker who never worries about money (because Eleanor pays all the bills), and when he ends their marriage ten years and three children later, she agrees to move off the farm and let him stay there? And when their children refuse to be taken away from the only home they’ve ever known, Eleanor agrees to let them live with their Dad? Knowing from the beginning that Eleanor must eventually do something that causes an irreparable rift with these children, I was mildly interested to learn what it could possibly have been — but the answer to that was incredibly annoying. Nothing of the plot or characterisations made any sense.
As for the writing: The storyline takes place over four decades, beginning in the mid-sixties, and Maynard makes countless annoying references to anchor her timeline. At one point she writes, There was a music festival going on somewhere in upstate New York that week. “Bunch of hippies,” Mr. Hallinan said. “Probably pals of that nutcase that murdered the movie star.” And that made me roll my eyes, but worse is a character (an old guy who was a neighbour of Eleanor’s) coming to her house and saying, “Remember those boys they had on Ed Sullivan a while back? The ones with the hair, that all the girls used to scream about? You know the one with the Japanese wife? Somebody shot him last night. Dead on the spot.” Maybe he would have reported it to his wife that way, but if he just heard that John Lennon was shot on the radio, no way would he have put it this way to a younger woman who had been a teenager in the sixties. Every anchoring event was reported like this — from the moon landing to Princess Di’s car crash — and every one of them made me twitch in annoyance.
As for the repetitions, at one point, about a third of the way in, I read:
Most of their best times took place right here on the farm — putting on plays, making valentines, building snow forts in winter, sailing their boats with their homemade cork people every spring...Three nights a week, in softball season, they headed to the ball field.
And I thought to myself: If I have to read about making valentines and cork people and going to softball one more time… And then two pages later, in the same chapter:
There was a rhythm to their lives now, marked by the seasons in part...In winter, they stoked the woodstove and shoveled the car out, made valentines, stayed in their pyjamas all day with a stack of library books. At the first sign of spring they made cork people. Then came softball season.
How about simply illogical writing:
He loved showing them artifacts from the natural world: he’d put his hand in his pocket and, when it emerged, set down a strange, mysterious pellet that turned out to be animal scat — coyote, possibly, or fox, or moose even — that, when you picked it apart, contained small pieces of bones and fur from whatever the animal whose scat it was had eaten for dinner the night before.
Again, that’s more than a bit clunky, but why “moose even”; why not “bear even” or some other carnivore if the point is looking for fur and bones in the scat?
Or weirdly unspecific writing (and this, coming at a moment of high drama):
None of them had any sense of time as it was happening, but Cam probably kept pumping Toby’s chest for many minutes.
“Probably” for “many” minutes, eh? Glad you noted that. There are way too many moments of high drama (including rape, underground abortion, infidelity, domestic abuse, murder-suicide, drunk driving causing death, a hypocritical Republican with an eye on the White House, a dog shot dead by the Sheriff for chasing deer during hunting season) and I felt vaguely uncomfortable about the way that Maynard approached a gender transition — I don’t think that she really captured the struggle (everything is reported from the outside and off the page) but I guess I applaud her for trying to include the experience as just another part of a domestic drama — but I was definitely made uncomfortable by a scene with Eleanor meeting two little boys, one of whom had “mild” cerebral palsy. When they meet, the older brother explains, “His umbilical cord was tangled up around his neck when he was born. That’s why he walks a little funny. He’s not retarded or anything.” And from Eleanor’s POV we then watch as, With that odd, slightly spastic gait of his, he was clearing a space in the middle of the living room now, his floppy puppet arms flailing. Nope, didn’t like that. Also didn’t like that Eleanor knew at a glance that she would never again spend time with these eager little boys and their sad, slope-shouldered — but totally decent — father.
I didn’t understand any of the decisions Eleanor made and I certainly didn’t understand why Maynard wrote her that way. Clunky beginning to cringey ending, hard pass.
December 7, 2021
Enough with the cork people!
I’m feeling a little schizo about this book. I HAD to find out what the main character, Eleanor, was thinking, and the way she thought fit the way I think. Matchy-matchy. The book was so relatable! got very involved and always looked forward to picking the book up. But then, holy moly, I also have a hefty list of complaints. I just don’t get it!
Joy Jar:
-Super great character study of a mom whose relationships to her husband and kids change dramatically over time. And the events that precipitate major changes in her life are handled with such insight and compassion. Some heavy stuff is thrown Eleanor’s way, and tension builds up as she navigates through it all.
-Very realistic family dynamics. Maynard has a mother’s love and anguish over her kids down pat, and it drew me in bigtime. Eleanor’s tricky relationship with her husband is well described.
-I was right there with Eleanor as she went through all the permutations of emotion. I felt what Eleanor felt, especially in the second half when she was suffering.
-The author wound me up and made me care tons about Eleanor, and also about her three kids, all of whom are so well-drawn. It’s impossible not to love Eleanor. I can imagine being her friend. Even though she’s not extraordinary, she’s real, and her brain and heart are beautiful. Her life is so vividly described, as are her emotions, and there’s a lot of nuance, which I always lap up.
-The story included drama around major world events, like the Challenger disaster and Princess Diana’s death. It was poignant, and I could feel the emotions of the characters so vividly. Maynard takes the reader back to that time. It was very skillfully done and wracked with emotion.
-One kid, Al, has major angst about a tough issue that’s new in our world, and Eleanor’s reaction to it is so real and well-handled. (Sorry, have to be vague about this one.) It’s unknown territory—I’ve never read anything from the point of view of a parent. I applaud Maynard going there, and with such sensitivity. I wondered if I would handle it as well as Eleanor did.
-Another kid has a big issue (vague on purpose here), and Maynard handles it with such compassion, too. Again, it made me think about what I would do in Eleanor’s shoes.
-I liked how we learn about the kid Al’s situation at the beginning of the book. It made me realize how we all make assumptions, often wrong ones.
-I liked how Maynard called Eleanor’s blowouts “crazyland.” Very relatable! And all the crazyland events were right on!
-I loved picking the book up.
Complaint Board:
-The first half of the book is too long, sentimental, and wholesome. I know this was done to juxtapose the good old life against heavy events to come—and to get more of a wallop in the second half—but man did it bug me. Enough already! Idyllic family life really gets on my nerves and makes me want to scream and run out the back door with a cigarette and beer. Syrup and sentimentality are not my friends.
-Maynard over-explains; she finds too many ways to say the same thing. She’ll sometimes forget to “kill her little darlings” (what they tell writers to do in creative writing 101). For example, a character says a guy treated her like she worked in a bank, then a few paragraphs later, says he treated her like a vacuum cleaner salesperson. It’s like Maynard is saying, “hm, I like this image. Wait, I really like this image, too. Let’s use both!” One would have been enough.
-Too long. It’s 464 pages; I think it could have lost 50 or 100 pages, especially from the first half.
-Eleanor’s kids made cork people, miniature figures that they sent down the river. The kids and mom made a ritual out of it. Oh man, I thought it was so clever . . . until she talked about the cork people umpteen times. I got really really sick of the damn cork people. By the end I sort of hated them. Go away, you stupid cork people!
-Some of the kid activities were off. I mean, we’re supposed to believe that a 9-year-old is dissecting a cow’s eye!?! I don’t think so! And occasionally, a kid’s voice isn’t right, but this doesn’t happen often.
-I got frustrated that Eleanor didn’t fight for herself, that she let things happen to her, that she always took the high road. I wanted her to tell off her husband. Her reactions were too passive for me. That said, her attitude did build tension.
-There was one small point-of-view problem, and it jolted me.
-I didn’t like all the music references. The characters play a lot of songs, especially at the beginning. First off, I didn’t know most of them; it’s always sucky when that happens (partly because it reminds me that I’m not hip, lol). Second, it made me so aware of how dated this book will become, how adding these references means it could never become a classic. The links to the historic events worked beautiful (and will last over time), but hip music references for sure aren’t going to.
I just noticed that I say the story is so “real” a zillion times, which is sort of obnoxious and boring. But on the upside, it drills home that this is a wonderful example of realistic fiction. It’s an excellent story about a family with interesting dynamics, and oh the characters are so vivid. It’s a great read, and unlike many family dramas, this story will stick with me I’m pretty sure. Despite my long list of whines, I do recommend this book (weird, huh?). And I’ll continue to read Maynard’s books—I loved two of her previous ones as well.
I’m feeling a little schizo about this book. I HAD to find out what the main character, Eleanor, was thinking, and the way she thought fit the way I think. Matchy-matchy. The book was so relatable! got very involved and always looked forward to picking the book up. But then, holy moly, I also have a hefty list of complaints. I just don’t get it!
Joy Jar:
-Super great character study of a mom whose relationships to her husband and kids change dramatically over time. And the events that precipitate major changes in her life are handled with such insight and compassion. Some heavy stuff is thrown Eleanor’s way, and tension builds up as she navigates through it all.
-Very realistic family dynamics. Maynard has a mother’s love and anguish over her kids down pat, and it drew me in bigtime. Eleanor’s tricky relationship with her husband is well described.
-I was right there with Eleanor as she went through all the permutations of emotion. I felt what Eleanor felt, especially in the second half when she was suffering.
-The author wound me up and made me care tons about Eleanor, and also about her three kids, all of whom are so well-drawn. It’s impossible not to love Eleanor. I can imagine being her friend. Even though she’s not extraordinary, she’s real, and her brain and heart are beautiful. Her life is so vividly described, as are her emotions, and there’s a lot of nuance, which I always lap up.
-The story included drama around major world events, like the Challenger disaster and Princess Diana’s death. It was poignant, and I could feel the emotions of the characters so vividly. Maynard takes the reader back to that time. It was very skillfully done and wracked with emotion.
-One kid, Al, has major angst about a tough issue that’s new in our world, and Eleanor’s reaction to it is so real and well-handled. (Sorry, have to be vague about this one.) It’s unknown territory—I’ve never read anything from the point of view of a parent. I applaud Maynard going there, and with such sensitivity. I wondered if I would handle it as well as Eleanor did.
-Another kid has a big issue (vague on purpose here), and Maynard handles it with such compassion, too. Again, it made me think about what I would do in Eleanor’s shoes.
-I liked how we learn about the kid Al’s situation at the beginning of the book. It made me realize how we all make assumptions, often wrong ones.
-I liked how Maynard called Eleanor’s blowouts “crazyland.” Very relatable! And all the crazyland events were right on!
-I loved picking the book up.
Complaint Board:
-The first half of the book is too long, sentimental, and wholesome. I know this was done to juxtapose the good old life against heavy events to come—and to get more of a wallop in the second half—but man did it bug me. Enough already! Idyllic family life really gets on my nerves and makes me want to scream and run out the back door with a cigarette and beer. Syrup and sentimentality are not my friends.
-Maynard over-explains; she finds too many ways to say the same thing. She’ll sometimes forget to “kill her little darlings” (what they tell writers to do in creative writing 101). For example, a character says a guy treated her like she worked in a bank, then a few paragraphs later, says he treated her like a vacuum cleaner salesperson. It’s like Maynard is saying, “hm, I like this image. Wait, I really like this image, too. Let’s use both!” One would have been enough.
-Too long. It’s 464 pages; I think it could have lost 50 or 100 pages, especially from the first half.
-Eleanor’s kids made cork people, miniature figures that they sent down the river. The kids and mom made a ritual out of it. Oh man, I thought it was so clever . . . until she talked about the cork people umpteen times. I got really really sick of the damn cork people. By the end I sort of hated them. Go away, you stupid cork people!
-Some of the kid activities were off. I mean, we’re supposed to believe that a 9-year-old is dissecting a cow’s eye!?! I don’t think so! And occasionally, a kid’s voice isn’t right, but this doesn’t happen often.
-I got frustrated that Eleanor didn’t fight for herself, that she let things happen to her, that she always took the high road. I wanted her to tell off her husband. Her reactions were too passive for me. That said, her attitude did build tension.
-There was one small point-of-view problem, and it jolted me.
-I didn’t like all the music references. The characters play a lot of songs, especially at the beginning. First off, I didn’t know most of them; it’s always sucky when that happens (partly because it reminds me that I’m not hip, lol). Second, it made me so aware of how dated this book will become, how adding these references means it could never become a classic. The links to the historic events worked beautiful (and will last over time), but hip music references for sure aren’t going to.
I just noticed that I say the story is so “real” a zillion times, which is sort of obnoxious and boring. But on the upside, it drills home that this is a wonderful example of realistic fiction. It’s an excellent story about a family with interesting dynamics, and oh the characters are so vivid. It’s a great read, and unlike many family dramas, this story will stick with me I’m pretty sure. Despite my long list of whines, I do recommend this book (weird, huh?). And I’ll continue to read Maynard’s books—I loved two of her previous ones as well.
June 21, 2024
4.5 stars
I recently received an advanced copy of Joyce Maynard’s new novel How the Light Gets In. Since it’s a follow up to this one, I wanted to read this first. There’s so much to the story as we follow a family over the years as the characters and their relationships are complex. It’s the 70’s and 80’s and a reflection of so many things I remember - the beginnings of the Women’s lib movement , Christa McAuliffe , personal computers, Princess Diana, the music. Maynard does a wonderful job of taking us through those times with this family as they live their ups and downs, joys and sorrows that life deals them.
Eleanor, a lonely, only child, had a sad childhood as an”interloper “ in her alcoholic parents’ relationship. Orphaned at 16, but really already an orphan. When I learned her back story, I couldn’t help but feel for her and want her to be happy. It seemed she would be, when she fell in love with and married Cam. However, his devil may care attitude put a big burden on Eleanor with three children to raise and having to worry about how they would live . Eleanor is also flawed as she is blinded by the deep wounds of her childhood which force an unrealistic view on raising her children believing she could make things perfect for them. A family filled with love, with joyful times shared, but then a marriage in trouble, and a family who becomes broken in spite of the love. When tragedy strikes there’s blame, anger and resentment resulting in a messy divorce. There is misplaced blame on Eleanor alone by the children who were not fully aware of the circumstances. To protect the children or was it Cam that wanted to be protected from the resentment of his children by not telling them the truth?
I was so angry for a good bit of this story. Angry at Cam, although he loved his kids, didn’t care that if not for Eleanor, they wouldn’t have a roof over their heads, food on the table. Angry at Eleanor who accepted Cam’s irresponsibility. I was heartbroken seeing the effect on every family member of what happened to Toby, of this broken family life. I was heartbroken as they drifted apart . It hurt to read this book at times and my thoughts focused on whether they could ultimately forgive each other and also if I could forgive them.
When I finished it, my first thought was that I wish I had read it sooner, but there’s a silver lining in having waited. I don’t have to immediately leave these characters behind, each one so realistically developed that I really want to know their future. I started reading the follow up. My only complaint is that it is repetitive at times.
I recently received an advanced copy of Joyce Maynard’s new novel How the Light Gets In. Since it’s a follow up to this one, I wanted to read this first. There’s so much to the story as we follow a family over the years as the characters and their relationships are complex. It’s the 70’s and 80’s and a reflection of so many things I remember - the beginnings of the Women’s lib movement , Christa McAuliffe , personal computers, Princess Diana, the music. Maynard does a wonderful job of taking us through those times with this family as they live their ups and downs, joys and sorrows that life deals them.
Eleanor, a lonely, only child, had a sad childhood as an”interloper “ in her alcoholic parents’ relationship. Orphaned at 16, but really already an orphan. When I learned her back story, I couldn’t help but feel for her and want her to be happy. It seemed she would be, when she fell in love with and married Cam. However, his devil may care attitude put a big burden on Eleanor with three children to raise and having to worry about how they would live . Eleanor is also flawed as she is blinded by the deep wounds of her childhood which force an unrealistic view on raising her children believing she could make things perfect for them. A family filled with love, with joyful times shared, but then a marriage in trouble, and a family who becomes broken in spite of the love. When tragedy strikes there’s blame, anger and resentment resulting in a messy divorce. There is misplaced blame on Eleanor alone by the children who were not fully aware of the circumstances. To protect the children or was it Cam that wanted to be protected from the resentment of his children by not telling them the truth?
I was so angry for a good bit of this story. Angry at Cam, although he loved his kids, didn’t care that if not for Eleanor, they wouldn’t have a roof over their heads, food on the table. Angry at Eleanor who accepted Cam’s irresponsibility. I was heartbroken seeing the effect on every family member of what happened to Toby, of this broken family life. I was heartbroken as they drifted apart . It hurt to read this book at times and my thoughts focused on whether they could ultimately forgive each other and also if I could forgive them.
When I finished it, my first thought was that I wish I had read it sooner, but there’s a silver lining in having waited. I don’t have to immediately leave these characters behind, each one so realistically developed that I really want to know their future. I started reading the follow up. My only complaint is that it is repetitive at times.
July 14, 2022
I’ve often dismissed the writing skills of Joyce Maynard. I remembered her affair with J.D. Salinger and the firestorm that occurred when she revealed their relationship in a memoir years later.
I was wrong. This novel was excellent...immensely enjoyable. Joyce Maynard is a great storyteller! I intend to read more of her stories.
My divorce is far into my past life (thank my goddess), but I was able to relate to so much of this family drama surrounding divorce, the aftermath, and their eventual healing.
4.5 Stars
I was wrong. This novel was excellent...immensely enjoyable. Joyce Maynard is a great storyteller! I intend to read more of her stories.
My divorce is far into my past life (thank my goddess), but I was able to relate to so much of this family drama surrounding divorce, the aftermath, and their eventual healing.
4.5 Stars
July 12, 2021
4.5 stars
It took me about a week to finish this 400+ page book which is more days than it usually takes me. That is not a reflection though of my interest level as I did enjoy the book. I think taking my time led to me fully appreciating what the writer did with the story and in particular the character of Eleanor. It might not meet the definition of an exciting read but it was worthy of my time.
The story is much more character driven than an action packed plot. I recommend not reading the publisher synopsis as it gives away much of the story although it's fair to say you will be able to predict quite a few things as you are reading the book. Eleanor is the main character and basically the story is about her starting and raising a family. Near the beginning of the book you find out Eleanor is attending the wedding of her transgender son who she hasn't seen in years. You also find out Eleanor and her daughter Urusla have been estranged since soon after the birth of Ursula's daughter, three years ago. The author then takes the reader through everything that happened in the lives of this family that led to this moment.
When you have a story that covers such a huge chunk of a person's life, in this case about 40 years or so, it allows you to really get to know a character. Eleanor is a character you might feel like you know in real life or perhaps you see some of yourself in her. At times, I was frustrated with some of the decisions she made but she was authentic. What's fascinating to me is I didn't like some of the parts of the ending and yet I also can't stop thinking how the author chose to finish the story. The novel actually would be a good pick for a book club because I think each reader has the potential to take away something from the story, Eleanor, and the other family members. And there are more than a few plot points that could lead to a lively debate. With that being said, not every reader is going to enjoy the book and quite frankly might think it was a waste of time. Aww, the joy of reading! This book might be a good fit for you or it might not be. Only you can decide if it's worth taking a chance.
I won a free copy of this book in a giveaway by LibraryThing and William Morrow. All views expressed are my honest opinion.
It took me about a week to finish this 400+ page book which is more days than it usually takes me. That is not a reflection though of my interest level as I did enjoy the book. I think taking my time led to me fully appreciating what the writer did with the story and in particular the character of Eleanor. It might not meet the definition of an exciting read but it was worthy of my time.
The story is much more character driven than an action packed plot. I recommend not reading the publisher synopsis as it gives away much of the story although it's fair to say you will be able to predict quite a few things as you are reading the book. Eleanor is the main character and basically the story is about her starting and raising a family. Near the beginning of the book you find out Eleanor is attending the wedding of her transgender son who she hasn't seen in years. You also find out Eleanor and her daughter Urusla have been estranged since soon after the birth of Ursula's daughter, three years ago. The author then takes the reader through everything that happened in the lives of this family that led to this moment.
When you have a story that covers such a huge chunk of a person's life, in this case about 40 years or so, it allows you to really get to know a character. Eleanor is a character you might feel like you know in real life or perhaps you see some of yourself in her. At times, I was frustrated with some of the decisions she made but she was authentic. What's fascinating to me is I didn't like some of the parts of the ending and yet I also can't stop thinking how the author chose to finish the story. The novel actually would be a good pick for a book club because I think each reader has the potential to take away something from the story, Eleanor, and the other family members. And there are more than a few plot points that could lead to a lively debate. With that being said, not every reader is going to enjoy the book and quite frankly might think it was a waste of time. Aww, the joy of reading! This book might be a good fit for you or it might not be. Only you can decide if it's worth taking a chance.
I won a free copy of this book in a giveaway by LibraryThing and William Morrow. All views expressed are my honest opinion.
September 27, 2021
This is the fourth novel by Joyce Maynard that I read and loved.
I was beyond ecstatic to discover the audiobook on the library BorrowBox app. You see, all previous Joyce Maynard books I read were consumed as audiobooks, two of them were narrated by Maynard herself, so I've become quite fond of her voice.
This novel cut deep. It's the story of Eleanor, who becomes an orphan at sixteen. She dreams of having her own family and a nice home, to make up for the love she never had as a child. She buys a farm when only twenty years old. A few years later, she falls in love with a handsome artisan. Three kids join them in quick succession. Life is busy, messy, money is tight, there are ups and downs. But things can always get worse.
Truthfully, my heart broke and ached for Eleanor. She was too unselfish, gave too much. It pissed me off big time how easily Cam, the father of her children and the love of her life, got everything she loved the most.
Life is messy, people hurt us, we hurt people, even when we have the best intentions.
The characters and their journeys felt incredibly real, I was one hundred per cent invested, to the point that now I feel bereft.
UPDATE: I did a bit of sleuthing on Maynard's Facebook page and apparently she's writing a sequel to this! Yay!
I was beyond ecstatic to discover the audiobook on the library BorrowBox app. You see, all previous Joyce Maynard books I read were consumed as audiobooks, two of them were narrated by Maynard herself, so I've become quite fond of her voice.
This novel cut deep. It's the story of Eleanor, who becomes an orphan at sixteen. She dreams of having her own family and a nice home, to make up for the love she never had as a child. She buys a farm when only twenty years old. A few years later, she falls in love with a handsome artisan. Three kids join them in quick succession. Life is busy, messy, money is tight, there are ups and downs. But things can always get worse.
Truthfully, my heart broke and ached for Eleanor. She was too unselfish, gave too much. It pissed me off big time how easily Cam, the father of her children and the love of her life, got everything she loved the most.
Life is messy, people hurt us, we hurt people, even when we have the best intentions.
The characters and their journeys felt incredibly real, I was one hundred per cent invested, to the point that now I feel bereft.
UPDATE: I did a bit of sleuthing on Maynard's Facebook page and apparently she's writing a sequel to this! Yay!
August 2, 2021
This is a tough book to review, as I both loved and hated it. It is beautifully written and heartfelt, but tortured at the same time. I thought if there was even one more reference to the cork people, I would throw the book across the room. Enough is enough!
My overwhelming reaction to this novel is that there is a HUGE difference between love and self-sacrifice and martyrdom! What kind of a doormat allows herself to be disposed of by this manchild who seems incapable of tying his own shoes and lives the rest of her life slaughtered by her selfish, self-absorbed children because he won't admit his fault in destroying their marriage? this is human disfunction at its epitome. Eleanor is a whiny, self-pitying, spineless woman. Her refusal to stand up for herself is the strongest noose in her own life and endures to the last sentence.
My overwhelming reaction to this novel is that there is a HUGE difference between love and self-sacrifice and martyrdom! What kind of a doormat allows herself to be disposed of by this manchild who seems incapable of tying his own shoes and lives the rest of her life slaughtered by her selfish, self-absorbed children because he won't admit his fault in destroying their marriage? this is human disfunction at its epitome. Eleanor is a whiny, self-pitying, spineless woman. Her refusal to stand up for herself is the strongest noose in her own life and endures to the last sentence.
July 8, 2022
[3.75] This is a melancholy book about the life of Eleanor and her family over the years. She is a frustratingly real character, whose childhood was lonely and traumatic and is desperate to make her children's home warm and loving, but ends up sabotaging her own life over and over. It was easy to become immersed in this novel but I didn't find much hope in it (except her relationship with her son Toby). I did become invested in Eleanor - I wanted to shake her and wake her up from her sad life - her choices were so destructive. When she was only in her 30s, 40s, 50s - she seemed decades older to me.
December 17, 2021
Clearly I am the outlier here – I'm struggling to even finish a book that most other reviewers have rated 5 stars. It’s hard to explain why without spoilers, I’ll just say the fate of one character was so predictable all I could think was ‘When is it coming?’ And sure enough, it did - exactly as I expected. I’ll add that the cork people who bob in and out of this drawn out family saga are no less lifelike than any of the other characters in the book.
Maybe something truly dramatic will happen in the last 60 pages that will change my opinion but at this point I’m rating it 2 stars. I’ll update my review when I get around to reading the rest of the book. Right now I’d rather push the sweeper.
ETA: Still nope. There's a line between sharing another's burden and self martyrdom and, to me, the main character's action at the end of the book crossed it.
Disclosure: I received this book from LibraryThing Early Reviewers.
Maybe something truly dramatic will happen in the last 60 pages that will change my opinion but at this point I’m rating it 2 stars. I’ll update my review when I get around to reading the rest of the book. Right now I’d rather push the sweeper.
ETA: Still nope. There's a line between sharing another's burden and self martyrdom and, to me, the main character's action at the end of the book crossed it.
Disclosure: I received this book from LibraryThing Early Reviewers.
December 16, 2021
1.5 🧮
How did I not love this story—unfortunately, I can count the ways.
My expectations were very high because I'm a fan of the author's work and I think 99.99% of my friends thought this was awesome. So let's just leave it there and assume that my reception is a mutation of the five star gene.
How did I not love this story—unfortunately, I can count the ways.
My expectations were very high because I'm a fan of the author's work and I think 99.99% of my friends thought this was awesome. So let's just leave it there and assume that my reception is a mutation of the five star gene.
July 29, 2021
Count the Repetitions
Count the Ways is a book about a woman moving through a lifetime of unhappiness punctuated with some contented years marrying and raising young children. It had some poignant, universal themes of early loss, rape,divorce, spouse abuse, and life altering sudden tragedy woven with contemporary themes of gender struggles and challenges to traditional family roles. However, this book really needed editing. Some observations and statements are made over and over again, to the point where I was wondering if the book was written for the memory impaired ( for instance, every time a stream is mentioned behind the family home and at times when it isn’t , cork people made by the children are detailed over and over. As if to say “ don’t forget about the cork people!”. The oldest daughters hatred of dresses was stated so many times, I wanted to scream “yes, it is very very clear that there is a gender struggle here. No need to belabor this one aspect of it as if that’s the sum total of child gender confusion). There is a long midsection of the book where the mother, living alone and mostly isolated from her children and pretty much everyone else, where the same memories and daily small events are revisited, often in the same words. Maybe all of this repetition was purposeful to emphasis the banal and depressing nature of the mother’s middle life? Not sure. Joyce Maynard is a good story teller with a strong understanding of life’s struggles. This book has thoughtful themes overplayed.
Count the Ways is a book about a woman moving through a lifetime of unhappiness punctuated with some contented years marrying and raising young children. It had some poignant, universal themes of early loss, rape,divorce, spouse abuse, and life altering sudden tragedy woven with contemporary themes of gender struggles and challenges to traditional family roles. However, this book really needed editing. Some observations and statements are made over and over again, to the point where I was wondering if the book was written for the memory impaired ( for instance, every time a stream is mentioned behind the family home and at times when it isn’t , cork people made by the children are detailed over and over. As if to say “ don’t forget about the cork people!”. The oldest daughters hatred of dresses was stated so many times, I wanted to scream “yes, it is very very clear that there is a gender struggle here. No need to belabor this one aspect of it as if that’s the sum total of child gender confusion). There is a long midsection of the book where the mother, living alone and mostly isolated from her children and pretty much everyone else, where the same memories and daily small events are revisited, often in the same words. Maybe all of this repetition was purposeful to emphasis the banal and depressing nature of the mother’s middle life? Not sure. Joyce Maynard is a good story teller with a strong understanding of life’s struggles. This book has thoughtful themes overplayed.
September 9, 2021
Thoughts soon.
March 11, 2021
What an emotional read this was for me. I haven't had a book that touched my heart and soul like this one in some time. To give it 5 stars makes me want to go back and change quite a few of my 5-star reviews to 4 stars since they don't hold a candle to this one. It literally took my breath away. It reminded me of "We Were the Mulvaneys" by Joyce Carol Oates, which I read 25 years ago but have never forgotten. That was another story of a close-knit family torn apart by one incident. Ms. Maynard writes from her heart and her story and characters are so true to life that I felt I was reading someone's private memoir. There was such beauty in these fragile human beings that it made my heart ache. This will be a hard act to follow.
Most highly, highly recommended.
Most highly, highly recommended.
February 15, 2025
This book is about the growth and changes in a marriage and how it affects the members of this family. I can't say exactly what I was expecting but it certainly was not what I found in these pages. I expected a rather light hearted read with interesting family drama and parenting stories.
Yes there is some of that, especially in early chapters, but this book instead focuses more on how life can throw curve balls and the unexpected into a marriage and how that is processed and handled is influenced by the background and history of the parents upbringing. This is a story about grief, loss and forgiveness. Do not go into it lightly. It is handled very well and for the most part realistically though there were times I wanted to shake Eleanor (the wife and primary point of view in this story).
Eleanor is an only child of alcoholic parents who are killed in a car accident when she is in college. She has early success as a writer/illustrator of children's books. She is a bit of a daydreamer, buys a farm in rural New England to fix up with the idea to live a life of gardening and writing. Cam her husband, who she meets in the early pages, is a craft woodworker whose only plan seems to be to have lots of babies and live a rural life. It seems an ideal matchup. Together they have three children in quick succession. Now quickly a family of five each with their own wants and needs. Life events both wondrous and tragic occur bringing out the best and worse of each character. This brings trouble into the marriage that neither partner is equipped to handle.
It is not a perfect book but a highly engaging read. The characters come alive on the page and I found myself totally immersed in their story. The situations and reactions are realistic and show both the best and the worse of each.
Maynard reads the audio herself and admits that much of the story is somewhat biographical. I found that fascinating and it drove me to investigate her background to understand better those underpinnings in the story. It is an excellent read I know I will be remembering but I couldn't quite give it 5 stars--that may change over time. Still anxious to read my next Maynard. She is becoming a favorite author.
Yes there is some of that, especially in early chapters, but this book instead focuses more on how life can throw curve balls and the unexpected into a marriage and how that is processed and handled is influenced by the background and history of the parents upbringing. This is a story about grief, loss and forgiveness. Do not go into it lightly. It is handled very well and for the most part realistically though there were times I wanted to shake Eleanor (the wife and primary point of view in this story).
Eleanor is an only child of alcoholic parents who are killed in a car accident when she is in college. She has early success as a writer/illustrator of children's books. She is a bit of a daydreamer, buys a farm in rural New England to fix up with the idea to live a life of gardening and writing. Cam her husband, who she meets in the early pages, is a craft woodworker whose only plan seems to be to have lots of babies and live a rural life. It seems an ideal matchup. Together they have three children in quick succession. Now quickly a family of five each with their own wants and needs. Life events both wondrous and tragic occur bringing out the best and worse of each character. This brings trouble into the marriage that neither partner is equipped to handle.
It is not a perfect book but a highly engaging read. The characters come alive on the page and I found myself totally immersed in their story. The situations and reactions are realistic and show both the best and the worse of each.
Maynard reads the audio herself and admits that much of the story is somewhat biographical. I found that fascinating and it drove me to investigate her background to understand better those underpinnings in the story. It is an excellent read I know I will be remembering but I couldn't quite give it 5 stars--that may change over time. Still anxious to read my next Maynard. She is becoming a favorite author.
May 17, 2024
Joyce Maynard is one of my favorite writers. I have loved many of her books, so I was disappointed with this one. This book is so depressing! I wanted something good to happen to one of the main characters and it never did, things continually got worse for her. Parts of the story were repeated and it was entirely too long. I see many 5 star reviews for this one, it just didn't work for me.
October 25, 2021
Don't you ever ask them, "Why?"
If they told you, you would cry
So, just look at them and sigh
And know they love you – “Teach Your Children” by Crosby, Nash, and Young
Eleanor and Cam are living a blissful life on a small farm in New Hampshire. Cam is a lithe, handsome redheaded artisan who crafts hand-turned bowls from tree burls. Eleanor, who bought the property as a twenty-year-old single woman, is a writer-illustrator of children’s books. The attraction between the two was immediate and powerful. At their wedding, Cam reads form Elizabeth Barrett Browning’s poem, “How do I love thee? Let me count the ways.”
This is not how Joyce Maynard’s novel, Count the Ways, begins, however. The author gives Eleanor’s background, how she was an only child of parents who seemed to only have eyes for one another, and for alcohol. After they were killed in an accident when she was away at boarding school, Eleanor spent the summer with the family of a school friend, where she quickly learned “the facts of life” in the worst way possible. This explains a lot about who she is as a wife and mother. She tries her utmost to give her three children the life she never enjoyed. Unfortunately, she is expected to be not just the homemaker and mother extraordinaire, but she must also be the breadwinner of the family, since Cam’s craft brings in very little income. Still, she can’t help loving him, can she? He’s wonderful with their children. He’s not one to worry – about anything.
I wasn’t immediately drawn to the writing. Initially, there were too many names and relationships to keep track of. But as the story unfolded, it drew me in. It made sense that a woman who writes and draws children’s stories is creative with her own kids. I loved the Cork People! Every day, there seem to be some new, fun activity for Alison, Ursula, and little Toby to try. They seem like the perfect family. They join hands and sing grace before meals. They go together to watch Cam’s softball games. They ice skate, drink hot chocolate, and eat popcorn.
Suddenly, in an instant, it’s over. I felt sad for Eleanor, but I was so angry at her too. What she won’t admit is that she’s been resentful and angry for some time now, and it’s finally come to a head with a terrible accident, which has caused her to push her husband away. It’s a normal response, perhaps, but she shuts down. Ursula, bless her, tries her best to make everyone happy. In a stroke of brilliance, Ms. Maynard uses the backdrop of The Challenger disaster as the catalyst for the destruction of the family.
In the ensuing years and decades, Eleanor struggles to repair the wounded relationships with her daughters and to find help for her son, who was tragically injured. There are a series of ups and downs with some “aha” moments. The reader knows much earlier than Eleanor what’s really going on with Alison, who insists on being called Al. Most of all, Eleanor meanders through life seeking her real self. One poignant moment is a breakthrough for Toby, who has been at an intense program for brain damaged individuals. He surprises his mother by reciting Carl Sandburg’s “Fog”:
The fog comes
on little cat feet.
It sits looking
over harbor and city
on silent haunches
and then moves on.
Like cats and fog, Toby’s mind is a mystery. Where did you go, Toby? To his credit, Cam is very involved with his son’s recovery, and Eleanor does admit that. Like the fog that smothers the landscape, the effects of Toby’s terrible accident suffocate the vitality out of the family. She has her work, which earns her more money than she imagined possible. She travels. She dates. To Eleanor, however, the most important aspect of her life is, and always has been, her family.
Like cats, and fog, pain and anger can ease and move on. Will Eleanor ever be able to forgive? That is the essence of Count the Ways.
4 stars
If they told you, you would cry
So, just look at them and sigh
And know they love you – “Teach Your Children” by Crosby, Nash, and Young
Eleanor and Cam are living a blissful life on a small farm in New Hampshire. Cam is a lithe, handsome redheaded artisan who crafts hand-turned bowls from tree burls. Eleanor, who bought the property as a twenty-year-old single woman, is a writer-illustrator of children’s books. The attraction between the two was immediate and powerful. At their wedding, Cam reads form Elizabeth Barrett Browning’s poem, “How do I love thee? Let me count the ways.”
This is not how Joyce Maynard’s novel, Count the Ways, begins, however. The author gives Eleanor’s background, how she was an only child of parents who seemed to only have eyes for one another, and for alcohol. After they were killed in an accident when she was away at boarding school, Eleanor spent the summer with the family of a school friend, where she quickly learned “the facts of life” in the worst way possible. This explains a lot about who she is as a wife and mother. She tries her utmost to give her three children the life she never enjoyed. Unfortunately, she is expected to be not just the homemaker and mother extraordinaire, but she must also be the breadwinner of the family, since Cam’s craft brings in very little income. Still, she can’t help loving him, can she? He’s wonderful with their children. He’s not one to worry – about anything.
I wasn’t immediately drawn to the writing. Initially, there were too many names and relationships to keep track of. But as the story unfolded, it drew me in. It made sense that a woman who writes and draws children’s stories is creative with her own kids. I loved the Cork People! Every day, there seem to be some new, fun activity for Alison, Ursula, and little Toby to try. They seem like the perfect family. They join hands and sing grace before meals. They go together to watch Cam’s softball games. They ice skate, drink hot chocolate, and eat popcorn.
Suddenly, in an instant, it’s over. I felt sad for Eleanor, but I was so angry at her too. What she won’t admit is that she’s been resentful and angry for some time now, and it’s finally come to a head with a terrible accident, which has caused her to push her husband away. It’s a normal response, perhaps, but she shuts down. Ursula, bless her, tries her best to make everyone happy. In a stroke of brilliance, Ms. Maynard uses the backdrop of The Challenger disaster as the catalyst for the destruction of the family.
In the ensuing years and decades, Eleanor struggles to repair the wounded relationships with her daughters and to find help for her son, who was tragically injured. There are a series of ups and downs with some “aha” moments. The reader knows much earlier than Eleanor what’s really going on with Alison, who insists on being called Al. Most of all, Eleanor meanders through life seeking her real self. One poignant moment is a breakthrough for Toby, who has been at an intense program for brain damaged individuals. He surprises his mother by reciting Carl Sandburg’s “Fog”:
The fog comes
on little cat feet.
It sits looking
over harbor and city
on silent haunches
and then moves on.
Like cats and fog, Toby’s mind is a mystery. Where did you go, Toby? To his credit, Cam is very involved with his son’s recovery, and Eleanor does admit that. Like the fog that smothers the landscape, the effects of Toby’s terrible accident suffocate the vitality out of the family. She has her work, which earns her more money than she imagined possible. She travels. She dates. To Eleanor, however, the most important aspect of her life is, and always has been, her family.
Like cats, and fog, pain and anger can ease and move on. Will Eleanor ever be able to forgive? That is the essence of Count the Ways.
4 stars
August 12, 2021
The main character, Eleanor, is quite a martyr and very dishonest. I think the reader is supposed to admire her stoicism but she basically lies to her children about her divorce and her ex husband’s creepy character. It got boring and monotonous very quickly. If you want to read a good family saga novel, try Ann Tyler’s Spool of Blue Thread.
August 2, 2021
4.5 Stars
July 10, 2021
This is the first book I’ve read by Joyce Maynard and it won’t be the last! I highly recommend this book for its realistic portrayal of a family in both good times and bad. Maynard takes us through the life of the family, from the initial meeting of the couple through the growth of their children and beyond. The characters are extremely well-drawn and the reader feels like they have really gotten to know each one of them. As such, it is hard to say goodbye to this family at the end of the story.
Eleanor wants her children to have the perfect childhood, unlike her own. She tries to give them everything she didn’t have and protect them from sadness, loss and Crazytown, a “place” her own parents sometimes visited, especially after drinking alcohol. But as much as Eleanor wants an idyllic childhood for them, deep down she knows it’s impossible. Still, she confronts each challenge with a fierce determination until events transpire that she has no control over. Like most families, these characters have their flaws but perhaps that is what makes them so relatable. There are tragedies, milestones, resentments, bitterness, and love above all else.
Thank you to William Morrow and NetGalley for an advanced reader copy in exchange for my honest review.
Eleanor wants her children to have the perfect childhood, unlike her own. She tries to give them everything she didn’t have and protect them from sadness, loss and Crazytown, a “place” her own parents sometimes visited, especially after drinking alcohol. But as much as Eleanor wants an idyllic childhood for them, deep down she knows it’s impossible. Still, she confronts each challenge with a fierce determination until events transpire that she has no control over. Like most families, these characters have their flaws but perhaps that is what makes them so relatable. There are tragedies, milestones, resentments, bitterness, and love above all else.
Thank you to William Morrow and NetGalley for an advanced reader copy in exchange for my honest review.
May 29, 2023
Anche gli alberi secolari di frassino (ce ne è uno in questo romanzo), solidi, stabili, per un violento fulmine possono morire.
Così accade alla vita. Per quanto uno ci provi a renderla solida, per quanto uno si sforzi a costruire una famiglia intera, poi capitano degli eventi esterni e quella famiglia intera si spezza. L’amore promesso e scambiato si inquina e diventa altro, si trasforma in rabbia, rancore, odio.
È quello che accade a Eleonor, la protagonista di questa storia che abbraccia varie decenni, attraversando i grandi avvenimenti della Storia della fine del novecento.
Eleanor è l’alter ego di Joyce Maynard e questa storia è una storia sulla fatica di perdonare. Ma anche una storia su ciò che è casa (house-home). Eleanor insegna ai lettori che occorre prima perdonarsi e che non si può controllare tutto. Le cose brutte accadono. Ai figli non si può risparmiare la sofferenza, ma bisogna star loro accanto per far capire loro che si ha qualcuno vicino che ci ama, la sofferenza non uccide.
Un grande romanzo, una bellissima scoperta.
Scrive nei ringraziamenti:
“[…] ho avuto la fortuna di acquisire almeno un grande dono, che forse non avrebbe incrociato il mio cammino senza il trascorrere degli anni. Si tratta del papactà di trovare il perdono - di offrirlo, e di richiederlo con umiltà a mia volta. Per avermi insegnato cosa significa perdonare
(capire che di rado esistono eroi o cattivi - solo esseri umani, capaci del meglio e del peggio del comportamento umano) ringrazio uno per uno tutti coloro che mi hanno affidato la verità della propria esperienza, e nel farlo sono stati abbastanza coraggiosi da ammettere il ruolo giocato da ciascuno di noi nello scrivere la propria storia familiare. A voi offro questa storia, a testimonianza autto ciò che coloro che mi hanno confidato le proprie mi hanno insegnato sull'amore.”
Così accade alla vita. Per quanto uno ci provi a renderla solida, per quanto uno si sforzi a costruire una famiglia intera, poi capitano degli eventi esterni e quella famiglia intera si spezza. L’amore promesso e scambiato si inquina e diventa altro, si trasforma in rabbia, rancore, odio.
È quello che accade a Eleonor, la protagonista di questa storia che abbraccia varie decenni, attraversando i grandi avvenimenti della Storia della fine del novecento.
Eleanor è l’alter ego di Joyce Maynard e questa storia è una storia sulla fatica di perdonare. Ma anche una storia su ciò che è casa (house-home). Eleanor insegna ai lettori che occorre prima perdonarsi e che non si può controllare tutto. Le cose brutte accadono. Ai figli non si può risparmiare la sofferenza, ma bisogna star loro accanto per far capire loro che si ha qualcuno vicino che ci ama, la sofferenza non uccide.
Un grande romanzo, una bellissima scoperta.
Scrive nei ringraziamenti:
“[…] ho avuto la fortuna di acquisire almeno un grande dono, che forse non avrebbe incrociato il mio cammino senza il trascorrere degli anni. Si tratta del papactà di trovare il perdono - di offrirlo, e di richiederlo con umiltà a mia volta. Per avermi insegnato cosa significa perdonare
(capire che di rado esistono eroi o cattivi - solo esseri umani, capaci del meglio e del peggio del comportamento umano) ringrazio uno per uno tutti coloro che mi hanno affidato la verità della propria esperienza, e nel farlo sono stati abbastanza coraggiosi da ammettere il ruolo giocato da ciascuno di noi nello scrivere la propria storia familiare. A voi offro questa storia, a testimonianza autto ciò che coloro che mi hanno confidato le proprie mi hanno insegnato sull'amore.”
July 27, 2021
First time I have read this author. And I am perplexed on how to rate this book. It is a story of Eleanor. She had a terrible childhood, sexually abused as a teen, came into a bit of luck financially and at the age of 20 buys a rundown farm in Vermont. Her only true longing is to have a family. After a few years this is achieved and what remains of the story is the overwhelming love she initially has for her husband which is minor in comparison to the love she has for her children. And the decline of the family she cherished following yet another tragic event in her life.
On a positive note …it is a somewhat absorbing story.
The negatives….too long, needed editing to eliminate redundancy's, every conceivable issue is included …sudden death, sexual abuse, gender identity, spousal abuse, murder, infidelity, and more.
Just too too much ……
One of those books where I liked it and was enjoying the story but finally reached a point saying to myself “oh come on!!”
On a positive note …it is a somewhat absorbing story.
The negatives….too long, needed editing to eliminate redundancy's, every conceivable issue is included …sudden death, sexual abuse, gender identity, spousal abuse, murder, infidelity, and more.
Just too too much ……
One of those books where I liked it and was enjoying the story but finally reached a point saying to myself “oh come on!!”
April 27, 2021
I am clearly the outlier on this one. In the spirit of the goodreads giveaway, I truly tried to finish this book. The first 200 pages cover about five years of marriage and parenting, oh, so tiring parenting three children in a wonderful country home, with the man of her dreams...drudge,drudge.... Finally 200 pages later comes the tragedy, which we have been forewarned about, then the book goes from boring to flat-out depressing. Add a few very cliche' marriage issues, which in the interest of no spoilers, I won't state, but it still won't be a surprise. Really, Maynard should be so much better than this.
July 26, 2021
Joyce Maynard is one of my favorite authors but this book was disappointing for me. I hated the ending scene with the husband. I hated how cruel 2 of the 3 kids were to their mother at times. But the part that really annoys me was that every time the main character was honest about how she felt or got upset & didnt act perfectly, she was in "crazy town". We all have our breaking points - we are human beings - it doesnt mean you are crazy. I definitely recommend reading After Her & The Best of Us, this one just wasn't for me.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
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