Why Do I Do What I Don't Want to Do?: Replace Deadly Vices with Life-Giving Virtues

by Jonathan "JP" Pokluda, Jon Green

We live in an upside-down culture. We wink at our vices as coping strategies while restricting our virtues to our online personas, where they won't interfere with our real lives. And we wonder why we feel empty, exhausted, and directionless. But why do we do things that we know are harmful for us?

Jonathan "JP" Pokluda wants you to know there's a better, more fulfilling way to live, and it doesn't involve looking inside yourself for the answers--because that's not where you'll find them. With his signature wit and wisdom, he explains, unpacks, and expands on the age-old virtues we're told to pursue in humility, forgiveness, generosity, diligence, self-control, authenticity, rest, and optimism. Far from being restrictive, these God-given goals for living free us to love and live as we wish we would.

Practicing virtues is not just something you do--it's something done in you, slowly but surely transforming you into the person you were meant to be all along. Whether you're 18 or 80, it's never too late to redefine what's important to you and reclaim a life of virtue.

Genres: Christian, Nonfiction, Faith, Christian Living, Self Help, Christianity, Audiobook

224 pages, Paperback

Published March 14, 2023

About the author

Jonathan “JP” Pokluda is the Lead Pastor of a 145 year old Baptist church in Waco, TX, Harris Creek. Prior to moving to Waco in 2019, he was previously the leader of the largest weekly young adult gathering in the country. Although JP was raised in church, he didn’t come to understand the grace of the Gospel until his early twenties. This ignited a desire in him to inspire the next generation to radically follow Jesus Christ and unleash them to change the world. He spends a lot of time helping older generations understand and disciple younger generations.

JP is the author of several best-selling books, including Welcome to Adulting, Outdated, and his most recent release Why Do I Do What I Don’t Want to Do?, a book written to help readers of all ages replace deadly vices with life-changing virtues.

JP and Monica, his partner in ministry, have been married since 2004. Together they have the joy and privilege of discipling their children Presley, Finley, and Weston.

Reviews

[Hannah · Rating 5 out of 5]

How many times have you asked, "Why do I do what I don't want to do?" Why am I still so stressed and exhausted? Why am I so critical of the people I love? Why do I hide behind a façade? Why do I choose wrong when I know what's right? This book identifies the most common vices and shows the virtues that provide a better way of life. Becoming a better person is more than building good habits. God can work in us to replace our sinful vices with godly virtues. Pokluda categorizes these ten vices as five ancient battles and five modern wars, and identifies corresponding virtues so we can change the way we live. These virtues show us who we want to be: humble, or grateful, or restful, or optimistic. They also show us who we don't want to be and possibly who we already are: prideful or entitled or stressed out or cynical.

What I loved about this book is how Pokluda uses real-life stories to illustrate the vices. I also appreciated the Bible passages he uses to back up each of his points, and the questions he asks to help his readers identify where they practice these vices in their own lives. This book convicted me in almost every chapter and helped me to identify how to make changes. It was empathetic and hard-hitting and freeing, all at the same time. I plan to write the list of vices and virtues with a list of verses to accompany it and put it on my mirror at home as a daily reminder.

If there is any area to improve in this book, it would be in how to actually make these changes in your own life. I felt like the purpose of this book was more to help you identify the vices and the virtues rather than to actually makes these changes. It was to say, "Hey, you are living with these vices in your life. Get closer to God and seek to live more soberly/humbly/diligently." This was the part of the book that I struggled with most because I want to see clear life change, and I was ready for a 500-page manual!

Overall, however, I absolutely loved this book. I really admire JP outside of this book, and this gave me a new perspective on his ministry. He asked questions that helped me self-evaluate. I will be thinking and applying this far into the future. 5/5 for sure!!

[Gel · Rating 5 out of 5]

“Sin (most often) subtly creeps into our lives. [And] pursing holiness is a lifelong pursuit full of micro-decisions along the way.”

This book is masterfully done.

It’s divided into two sections: the ancient battles & the modern wars. I’m not exaggerating when I say, I loved every chapter the most. There is literally something in each chapter for everyone.

Highly recommend this one!

[Christian Barrett · Rating 4 out of 5]

A very helpful and practical book for Christians seeking to kill the desires of the flesh and walk in holiness. Throughout the book Pokluda personalizes it as he discusses how the Lord has sanctified him in each of the areas. I think this would be a great introduction for those looking to expose their sin and kill it. My son ul was blessed by this book.

[David Clouse · Rating 2 out of 5]

Well, I hate to give this a two stars because I had high hopes for it, but I did not really enjoy the book. I will say, there were definitely statements or ideas throughout that could be helpful to someone. Overall though, I felt like this book was a simplistic treatment of many different topics, too often generalized in its discussion, and rarely offered what it proclaims on the front of replacing vices with virtues. I found myself so often thinking, "Im pretty sure I know what you're saying or trying to say, but man there is such a better way to say it or teach it." Each chapter title says what the vice and virtue is but that's rarely fleshed out comprehensively. One chapter was eleven pages on drunkenness and sobriety, the chapter ended with two sentences just encouraging you to replace any kind of intoxication with sober thinking and then quoted Rom 12:2. Again, there were some good thoughts or ideas but overall it felt like some topics were treated with much flippancy or lack of thoroughness that really hurt it. I felt like I might give this to someone younger as something more digestible but then I also just kept thinking there were better books out there, even for young people. I'm sad because I wanted to like JPs writing but it does not seem like a strength in this book. I'll eventually check out more of his works but hesitate to have as high of hopes.

To quote a fellow reviewer named Natalie, here is an example of some of the content that you find throughout that just really seems to miss the mark for me: "I was probably on track for a 3 or 4 star review until I got to the conclusion. He tells a story about a woman he worked with who has great faith and "knew no other life than faithfully walking with Jesus." One day he asks this woman to convince him that she's had a better life than he has. "I partied. I got to have sex.. do drugs... indulge in everything the world has to offer. And now you work for someone who works for me. Plus, we both get heaven. Convince me that your life is better than mine." This was honestly so disturbing to read. I understand the point he was trying to make, and he does agree that her life has been better because of her obedience to the Lord. Unfortunately, I will never get the comment "you work for someone who works for me" out of my head. And I cannot believe this demeaning comment made it through rounds of edits. Not to mention the gender and power dynamics at play in the churches where he has worked. So maybe my 2 star review is a bit unfair - but I have such a bad taste in my mouth and will not recommend this book to others."

[Sara Brownell · Rating 4 out of 5]

I really enjoyed this book. It took me back to the basics but yet also things we so easily forget/overlook. It gave me things to think about, pray on and to work on. And I loved JP’s humility and honesty throughout!

[Jeff Colston · Rating 5 out of 5]

JP’s great and I just can’t help but want to read his books when they come out.

I’ll say this: he really has a pulse on what the everyday young adult is struggling with and offers very helpful insights. I especially value the way his bits are easy to remember and extremely applicable.

This definitely feels targeted toward young adults, especially those who grew up in the Bible Belt, but it is nonetheless, I think, helpful for anyone.

I also think that because I’ve heard JP on so many podcasts and sermons at this point, I am no longer shocked by his vulnerability, but it is really remarkable and an encouragement to me to see a pastor be so honest about his past.

Each chapter left me challenged. This will be one I refer back to. Loved it!

[Milena Washburn · Rating 4 out of 5]

“‘Therefore there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.’ ‘No condemnation’ means no judgement. We can escape the consequences of our sin in eternity. How do we do it? We repent of our vices and turn to Jesus… Repentance is turning from [sin] and finding greater satisfaction in Jesus than the things of this world.”

Offers practical application & asks questions to identify and root out sins in my own life. Some I wasn’t aware of until reading the chapter (yikes!!). I appreciate that it’s not just “don’t do this” but more “don’t do this and fill your life with better life giving things.” Certainly will be something I come back to again & again.

[Abbie Roberson · Rating 5 out of 5]

Do you ever feel as though your sin controls you? Do you find yourself unable to stop returning to indulgence of your flesh time and time again? This book is for you. JP brings his trademark honesty and humor to cover common vices plaguing the Church and the virtues to combat them. He uses his own history of sin (in a refreshingly candid way), stories from his time in ministry, and biblical passages to illustrate his points.

I'd highly recommend this book to my brothers and sisters in Christ. Even in chapters where I felt as though I don't struggle with the particular vice, I was convicted and absorbed something. This book was life-giving and challenging in the best ways.

Thank you to NetGalley and Baker Books for an ARC of this book in exchange for an honest review. I'm excited to buy a physical version and annotate it when the book is published!

[Abby Thompson · Rating 1 out of 5]

I never quit reading a book but I had to with this one. A direct quote, "Mental health disorders are often born out of pride." That is wrong and incredibly ignorant. He completely bashes Dallas as a city for no reason, he talks about humility but the way he writes is so prideful. This really is a prime example of toxic christian influence in mainstream media and I would not recommend this book to anyone. It is extremely disappointing and damaging.

[Caroline Koscak · Rating 3 out of 5]

Not a blanket recommendation. HOWEVER JP does a phenomenal job of writing to his target audience: new/young believers looking for practical advice/how-tos and guidelines for applying faith to their life. It’s a very approachable, clear, and solid resource a person in that stage of life looking for that type of book.

[Jenna Thornton · Rating 5 out of 5]

Game changer✌🏼
I don’t know what I was expecting from this book, but it was 5x greater than what I expected. Instead of straight up telling us why we do what we don’t want to do, JP points out our vices and provides new habits to replace those. It’s not more excuses for us but more reasons to diligently grow into the character of Christ.

[Seth Sjoberg · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book points right to the heart of our greatest struggles. We all struggle with something and JP provides good wisdom on some of those that are most prevalent. Definitely a book I will revisit either in part or a total reread.

[sophia oommen]

so so good. called me out, but in the best way. go read this book.

[Haley Williams · Rating 5 out of 5]

Incredible. Go read this book right now. Listen to the Becoming Something podcast, watch JP’s sermons. The Lord has blessed him with such a gift of wisdom.

[Sophie Cathérine · Rating 3 out of 5]

This was nice, but nothing new to get here really. Would have hoped him to focus more on the virtues than on the vices.

[M W · Rating 5 out of 5]

4.5⭐️ A great insight into the most common sins Christian face both in the modern world and throughout history. By naming, explaining, and discussing these sins, JP was able to produce a strong guide on learning how to minimize these sins in our own lives.

I originally was drawn to this book because I thought it covered a different Biblical topic that I needed in my life. I probably would not have gone out of my way to read a book about sin if given the chance, but I am glad that I misunderstood the topic originally because this still hit pretty hard. Definitely recommend—we all struggle with sin, and this will be helpful to anyone who wants to incorporate more holy habits in their life.

[Liz Gouger · Rating 4 out of 5]

I’m a big becoming something fan and I was so excited when this book came out! Solid practical conviction and application of the sins that our culture so easily looks over and has taught us are not a big deal. Given I’ve listened to his podcasts none of it was too different from what I had listened to over the years but was a great good for sure summarizing it all and putting it together. My favorite chapters were about busyness and cynicism because boy do I struggle with those!

[Cody Hartley · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book was one of the most honest + practical books I have read recently. I felt like I was having a conversation with JP himself. Through scripture, and his own story, he helped uncover areas where sin was hiding in my life. Now, I have an attack plan consisting of things I need to watch out for + things I need to pursue. If you’re ready for that in your own life, get this book!

[Erika Dudley · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was a great book! The only downside is that it doesn’t go very in depth into the topics it discusses. It comes at the topics from a high level view.

I most enjoyed the different testimonies within the book!

Fav quote: “Our abundance has killed our gratitude”

[Michelle Ferdinands · Rating 3 out of 5]

There are good nuggets of information, but I think this misses the heart of Jesus full of grace of love.

[Jessica Dudok · Rating 5 out of 5]

JP is so good. Every time he makes an analogy I can’t help but think “oh my gosh, that’s so good”. The way he relates everyday moments to the Lord is incredible. He provides stories of his own life that are relatable. I love that he puts direct quotes from the Bible instead of simply referencing a verse. This book is a good read because he keeps your attention the whole time and isn’t repetitive with his concepts. I love the reflection questions at the end of the chapters because they really make you think about your character and what areas of your heart need to be changed. I love his perspective on biblical principle. His take is a lot different from anything I have heard. He is straight to the point without sugar coating. He is not afraid to “go there” with touchy topics. He puts ideas into words better than any other author. He gives practical ways to improve as a Christian. This book convicted me so much about pride, lust, entitlement, busyness, anger, and complaining. This helped me identify areas in my life where I fall short.

[Julia · Rating 5 out of 5]

I love pretty much anything that J.P. writes. He has such a talent for writing on complex topics and simplifying them but also making the conversation interesting. Side note, his book “Outdated” is one of the best books on relationships I’ve ever read.

Talking about sin is not easy but it’s necessary for every follower of Jesus. It can be weird and strange and come across very wrong a lot of the time. But JP does a great job of sharing his own life experiences and his walk with Christ in a vulnerable way that encourages people to not feel shame about what they’re walking through but to find freedom. I highly recommend this book to anyone that considers themselves a follower of Jesus. Don’t shy away from the hard conversations. I give this book 5/5 stars ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

[Emma Tourtelotte · Rating 4 out of 5]

4.4/5

Overall, I enjoy JP as a pastor and an author. He is relatable, easy to follow, and clearly a humble man of God. I enjoyed this book and it was easy to finish.
He talks about how getting rid of bad habits is unbelievably tough since we as humans are creatures of habit, but we can replace our vices with counter acting virtues.
p.s. if you listen to his audio version of this book, he does a funky accent when quoting CS. Lewis. I think he’s trying to be british but ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

[Erin · Rating 5 out of 5]

Best book from JP yet!! The porch did a series titled vices and virtues circa 2018 that impacted my walk with the Lord deeply, and I have returned to the series often since the first time I listened. This book felt like the best extension of that series that I could ask for! I was deeply
admonished and encouraged by the themes of this book and would recommend!!

[Ryan Oakes · Rating 4 out of 5]

I listened to the audiobook, so I didn’t retain as well as I would have in reading it — but I enjoyed the book! I liken this to Respectable Sins by Jerry Bridges. You read (listen to) it and suddenly remember how sinful you really are…in that, JP does a great job reminding you of the goodness of God and how to seek first the Kingdom.

[Afton urton · Rating 5 out of 5]

I could start reading this book immediately after finishing and get something new out of it. JP puts into words what it looks like to follow Jesus and combat sin day in and day out. He is clear and straight forward with what the Bible calls us to not his opinion on what the Bible calls us to. 100% will read again!

[Cotty Hillman · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book was a helpful, convicting read. It is very readable and approachable, but cuts through to convict you of sin. There were a few parts I wasn't certain on, but overall a helpful read. I think the best thing about it is JP's attitude of utter rejection of sin, along the lines of "gouging out an eye that causes you to stumble."

[Morgan Beach · Rating 5 out of 5]

Hey JP, Morgan here. I had never heard of you, then I go to your instagram and find out I’m the last person I know to follow you. Whoops. This book was good. I’m hesitant to read new theology because people be crazy today. But I think the talk of real world, modern and old, struggles balances well with the Word. Solid stuff.

[John Dohanich · Rating 5 out of 5]

Jonathan does an excellent job of pointing out sin and killing it. As my sister said “he doesn’t pull punches” and I completely agree. I do wish he had more scripture throughout but this is a book I want to read every year

[Maddie Mann · Rating 5 out of 5]

WOW super convicting!!! I found this to be very practical with all of his personal anecdotes but it was also filled with lots of good scriptural wisdom as well. I listened to this and loved his narration!!