What do you think?
Rate this book
If I Can Give You That
For fans of Kacen Callender and Mason Deaver comes a heart-tugging coming-of-age YA debut that takes a poignant look at gender identity, sexuality, friendship, and family—both the one we’re born into and the one we find for ourselves.
Seventeen-year-old Gael is used to keeping to himself. Though his best friend convinces him to attend a meeting of Plus, a support group for LGBTQIA+ teens, Gael doesn’t plan on sharing much. Where would he even start? Between supporting his mother through her bouts of depression, dealing with his estranged father, and navigating senior year as a transgender boy at a conservative Tennessean high school, his life is a lot to unload on strangers.
But after meeting easygoing Declan, Gael is welcomed into a new circle of friends who make him want to open up. As Gael’s friendship with Declan develops into something more, he finds himself caught between his mother’s worsening mental health and his father’s attempts to reconnect.
After tragedy strikes, Gael must decide if he can risk letting the walls around his heart down and fully opening up to those who care for him.
Seventeen-year-old Gael is used to keeping to himself. Though his best friend convinces him to attend a meeting of Plus, a support group for LGBTQIA+ teens, Gael doesn’t plan on sharing much. Where would he even start? Between supporting his mother through her bouts of depression, dealing with his estranged father, and navigating senior year as a transgender boy at a conservative Tennessean high school, his life is a lot to unload on strangers.
But after meeting easygoing Declan, Gael is welcomed into a new circle of friends who make him want to open up. As Gael’s friendship with Declan develops into something more, he finds himself caught between his mother’s worsening mental health and his father’s attempts to reconnect.
After tragedy strikes, Gael must decide if he can risk letting the walls around his heart down and fully opening up to those who care for him.
315 pages, Hardcover
First published February 28, 2023
17 people are currently reading
5782 people want to read
About the author
Michael Gray Bulla
4 books75 followersMichael Gray Bulla is a recent graduate of Wells College. He was named the 2017 Nashville Youth Poet Laureate with Southern Word and is the author of the poetry collection Letters to the Home. Gray's first book is If I Can Give You That, and his second is The Ghost of You. Originally from Tennessee, Gray currently resides in Ithaca, New York with his partner and their cats, Hermes and Hera. Visit him online at michaelgraybulla.com or on Instagram @graybulla.
Ratings & Reviews
Friends & Following
Create a free account to discover what your friends think of this book!
Community Reviews
Displaying 1 - 30 of 137 reviews
February 20, 2023
TW//
If I Can Give You That is a queer coming of age story. It follows Gael as he explores his identities, falls in love with his best friend, and tries to manage life with his mom’s depression.
This book handled some important topics really well, but I ultimately felt that this book was lacking in some key areas.
Michael Gray Bulla does a fantastic job of addressing the realities of life as a trans person, the struggles of loving someone with a mental illness, and the disappointment of having a terrible father. There’s discussions of gender dysphoria and transitioning that felt really well written. I loved how it highlighted both the good and bad of what it’s like to be trans in America. This will definitely be a really eye opening read for anyone who isn’t trans and wants to know more about trans people. The plotline revolving around Gael’s mom was really hard to read and it hit really close to home at times, but it was really well done. The topic of Gael’s dad was another part of the story that was hard to read and I’d be lying if said I wasn’t on the verge of screaming from pure frustration from it at times, but I really appreciated how Michael dived deep into how Gael’s dad’s actions impacted him. Terrible parental figures make really strong impacts on their child’s development yet books often brush over the whole depth of that impact. Michael wasn’t afraid to explore that depth and how it impacted all of Gael’s relationships.
I loved Declan in this story and how supportive he was of Gael. His personality was fun and outgoing yet he was down to earth with all of his relationships. I liked Gael, too, but not to the same degree as how much I liked Declan. I sort of saw myself in Gael. The awkardness, the anxiety about social situations, and his whole personality reminded me of myself. I also truly believe that if anyone were to confess that they liked me, my reaction would be just like Gael’s (even though I wish I could handle it in less messy ways but let’s be honest - I can’t).
Unfortunately there were a lot of negatives in this book as well and they hindered from my enjoyment of the story.
The pacing was possibly my biggest issue with this book. The whole book felt like a slog to get through. It had a lot to do with the writing style. Something about it felt slightly dull and that made it really hard to get interested in the story. There was also lots of times where this story lost steam. It tried so hard to portray what day-to-day life as a teen is like, but there was often too many unnecessary scenes and details.
There were some parts of this story that felt underdeveloped. I wouldn’t have minded a longer book if some plotlines and characters were focused on more. Most of the minor characters (Jeremiah, Annie, Jacqueline, etc.) only had brief interactions with Gael and those interactions were often used to help Gael work through some of his own problems. I wish there would’ve been more time spent making the minor characters into three dimensional characters who have their own goals and ambitions. The plots, specifically revolving around Jacqueline’s dating life and Nicole’s friendship with Gael, definitely felt lacking throughout most of this story as well.
I had some hope that somehow the ending would redeem the story for me, but it ended up feeling really rushed. The plot with Gael’s dad was hastily wrapped up with an unsatisfying conclusion and a lot of Gael’s mom’s treatment was rushed through. I’m glad that there were some moments where the mental health treatment was addressed, but I would’ve liked to see more about how it was for her to adapt to life back at home and how Gael responded to her being back home.
Overall this book was good, but it wasn’t very enjoyable for me personally. If I Can Give You That had its strong moments and people will like it - there was just some issues with the book that I personally couldn’t overlook when it came to judging how much I truly liked this book.
Thank you so much to the publisher and NetGalley for allowing me to read and review an eArc of this book.
If I Can Give You That is a queer coming of age story. It follows Gael as he explores his identities, falls in love with his best friend, and tries to manage life with his mom’s depression.
This book handled some important topics really well, but I ultimately felt that this book was lacking in some key areas.
Michael Gray Bulla does a fantastic job of addressing the realities of life as a trans person, the struggles of loving someone with a mental illness, and the disappointment of having a terrible father. There’s discussions of gender dysphoria and transitioning that felt really well written. I loved how it highlighted both the good and bad of what it’s like to be trans in America. This will definitely be a really eye opening read for anyone who isn’t trans and wants to know more about trans people. The plotline revolving around Gael’s mom was really hard to read and it hit really close to home at times, but it was really well done. The topic of Gael’s dad was another part of the story that was hard to read and I’d be lying if said I wasn’t on the verge of screaming from pure frustration from it at times, but I really appreciated how Michael dived deep into how Gael’s dad’s actions impacted him. Terrible parental figures make really strong impacts on their child’s development yet books often brush over the whole depth of that impact. Michael wasn’t afraid to explore that depth and how it impacted all of Gael’s relationships.
I loved Declan in this story and how supportive he was of Gael. His personality was fun and outgoing yet he was down to earth with all of his relationships. I liked Gael, too, but not to the same degree as how much I liked Declan. I sort of saw myself in Gael. The awkardness, the anxiety about social situations, and his whole personality reminded me of myself. I also truly believe that if anyone were to confess that they liked me, my reaction would be just like Gael’s (even though I wish I could handle it in less messy ways but let’s be honest - I can’t).
Unfortunately there were a lot of negatives in this book as well and they hindered from my enjoyment of the story.
The pacing was possibly my biggest issue with this book. The whole book felt like a slog to get through. It had a lot to do with the writing style. Something about it felt slightly dull and that made it really hard to get interested in the story. There was also lots of times where this story lost steam. It tried so hard to portray what day-to-day life as a teen is like, but there was often too many unnecessary scenes and details.
There were some parts of this story that felt underdeveloped. I wouldn’t have minded a longer book if some plotlines and characters were focused on more. Most of the minor characters (Jeremiah, Annie, Jacqueline, etc.) only had brief interactions with Gael and those interactions were often used to help Gael work through some of his own problems. I wish there would’ve been more time spent making the minor characters into three dimensional characters who have their own goals and ambitions. The plots, specifically revolving around Jacqueline’s dating life and Nicole’s friendship with Gael, definitely felt lacking throughout most of this story as well.
I had some hope that somehow the ending would redeem the story for me, but it ended up feeling really rushed. The plot with Gael’s dad was hastily wrapped up with an unsatisfying conclusion and a lot of Gael’s mom’s treatment was rushed through. I’m glad that there were some moments where the mental health treatment was addressed, but I would’ve liked to see more about how it was for her to adapt to life back at home and how Gael responded to her being back home.
Overall this book was good, but it wasn’t very enjoyable for me personally. If I Can Give You That had its strong moments and people will like it - there was just some issues with the book that I personally couldn’t overlook when it came to judging how much I truly liked this book.
Thank you so much to the publisher and NetGalley for allowing me to read and review an eArc of this book.
Read
August 9, 2024If you like...
-queer teens finding community
-complex family dynamics
-slow-burn friends-to-lovers
-trans people experiencing first love
-intense parked-car conversations
-trans best friends!!
...then you should read my debut novel, IF I CAN GIVE YOU THAT!!
That being said, there are some content warnings I think people should be aware of. Although this book is primarily about joy and hope and community, it also deals with some heavier topics, including:
-depression
-suicide
-anxiety
-panic attacks
If those things might be triggering to you, I'd suggest checking in with yourself before reading. Your safety comes first!
Thanks, y'all, and happy reading!! :-)
-queer teens finding community
-complex family dynamics
-slow-burn friends-to-lovers
-trans people experiencing first love
-intense parked-car conversations
-trans best friends!!
...then you should read my debut novel, IF I CAN GIVE YOU THAT!!
That being said, there are some content warnings I think people should be aware of. Although this book is primarily about joy and hope and community, it also deals with some heavier topics, including:
-depression
-suicide
-anxiety
-panic attacks
If those things might be triggering to you, I'd suggest checking in with yourself before reading. Your safety comes first!
Thanks, y'all, and happy reading!! :-)
August 28, 2023
(edit august 2023 : 4.5 stars, I think about this book way too often)
As soon as I saw that this book was recommended for fans of Kacen Callender and Mason Deaver, I knew I had to read it. I was not disappointed, I had a good time and was quite impressed to see that this is the author's debut novel.
I liked the fact that you can really see the evolution of the characters, who learn from their mistakes as they go along and try to do their best.
Reading a book with so much queer representation felt good, and the discussions around the lgbt community were very interesting.
The romance managed to be cute while still bringing in some heavy themes.
One thing that bothered me a bit was the repetitiveness of the writing. Indeed, there are many times the same general phrases, turns of phrase or expressions, which at the beginning of the book are nice because the writing is good, but end up being too present at the end. Some dialogues ended up being very similar.
ARC given by NetGalley for an honest review
As soon as I saw that this book was recommended for fans of Kacen Callender and Mason Deaver, I knew I had to read it. I was not disappointed, I had a good time and was quite impressed to see that this is the author's debut novel.
I liked the fact that you can really see the evolution of the characters, who learn from their mistakes as they go along and try to do their best.
Reading a book with so much queer representation felt good, and the discussions around the lgbt community were very interesting.
The romance managed to be cute while still bringing in some heavy themes.
One thing that bothered me a bit was the repetitiveness of the writing. Indeed, there are many times the same general phrases, turns of phrase or expressions, which at the beginning of the book are nice because the writing is good, but end up being too present at the end. Some dialogues ended up being very similar.
ARC given by NetGalley for an honest review
March 30, 2023
This was REALLY good, and I don't know why I haven't heard more about it. I listened to the audiobook, and Avi Roque once again did an amazing job.
There's a lot going on in this book, but I never felt like it was too much, and by the end, I felt like everything had gotten exactly the attention it deserved. But most of all, I really loved Gael, I really loved Declan, and this book was just full of so much heart.
It's a coming of age story that delves into how coming of age isn't just one neat linear process for everyone. Gael already knows he's trans, he's already transitioning, but he still has many questions left. About his sexuality and whether or not he experiences attraction, about his mental health, where he should go to college, if his mother will be okay, and if he should start talking to his father again.
I really appreciated how this story was able to delve into how hard it must be to have a parent with depression, without ever making it feel like his mother was a burden or she was broken or something like that. Everything felt really nuanced and respectful, so I thought that was done really well.
The only issue I have is that I would have loved for Gael's best friend Nicole to feel more like her own person and to see her fleshed out more and to see more of her life outside of Gael. As it was, it felt like she was mostly there to support Gael, and I don't feel like we really got to know her well as a person.
There's a lot going on in this book, but I never felt like it was too much, and by the end, I felt like everything had gotten exactly the attention it deserved. But most of all, I really loved Gael, I really loved Declan, and this book was just full of so much heart.
It's a coming of age story that delves into how coming of age isn't just one neat linear process for everyone. Gael already knows he's trans, he's already transitioning, but he still has many questions left. About his sexuality and whether or not he experiences attraction, about his mental health, where he should go to college, if his mother will be okay, and if he should start talking to his father again.
I really appreciated how this story was able to delve into how hard it must be to have a parent with depression, without ever making it feel like his mother was a burden or she was broken or something like that. Everything felt really nuanced and respectful, so I thought that was done really well.
The only issue I have is that I would have loved for Gael's best friend Nicole to feel more like her own person and to see her fleshed out more and to see more of her life outside of Gael. As it was, it felt like she was mostly there to support Gael, and I don't feel like we really got to know her well as a person.
Want to read
July 29, 202228.07.2022 friends to lovers is always the best when it's slow-burn so i'm here for that.
March 23, 2023
Sometimes everything about a book is right. Descriptive writing. Fully fleshed out main characters. Great side characters. Heavier themes interwoven throughout the story. Fantastic rep. Sometimes everything about a book is right, and I don’t feel it. And at those times, I hate myself for that.
Why couldn’t I just enjoy this story? Why didn’t this book put a smile on my face and a lump in my throat? Why did I read on and on without feeling anything? I flew through the pages because Gael’s story was so easy to read. I adored Declan, he was such a cute and sweet guy. I loved the bits of information I got throughout the book about Gael’s relationship with his dad. I treasured the heart-to-heart conversation between Gael and Declan on the swings (the cover scene). But sadly, I just didn’t feel a thing. Not even when Gael’s life got turned upside down because of … Arghhhh!!! Like I said, I hate myself for not liking this book as much as I wanted to. So, don’t mind my review. This is a good book! Probably a fantastic one! Please give this one a try. It’s just not for me.
Thank you so much, Harper360YA, for the ARC!
Follow me on Instagram
Why couldn’t I just enjoy this story? Why didn’t this book put a smile on my face and a lump in my throat? Why did I read on and on without feeling anything? I flew through the pages because Gael’s story was so easy to read. I adored Declan, he was such a cute and sweet guy. I loved the bits of information I got throughout the book about Gael’s relationship with his dad. I treasured the heart-to-heart conversation between Gael and Declan on the swings (the cover scene). But sadly, I just didn’t feel a thing. Not even when Gael’s life got turned upside down because of … Arghhhh!!! Like I said, I hate myself for not liking this book as much as I wanted to. So, don’t mind my review. This is a good book! Probably a fantastic one! Please give this one a try. It’s just not for me.
Thank you so much, Harper360YA, for the ARC!
Follow me on Instagram
Read
March 13, 2023This was an excellent debut! The story follows Gael who is a trans teenager living in Tennessee as he navigates his way around sexuality and how it intersects with his transness alongside dealing with a lot of very serious issues regarding mental health in his mom and his estranged dad.
Gael ends up going to a queer meet up called Plus where he needs Declan and as their friendship goes stronger Gael really has to sit and think about what attraction means to him and whether or not he feels it. I love books where queer kids get to question and listening to Gael work through it with his friends and contemplate whether asexuality fit or whether he was gay or whether crushes were a thing for him etc was all so refreshing. Too often we expect people to just pick a label and stick with it without recognizing that queerness is a spectrum and it's okay if labels change.
I really enjoyed the story and I think it did a lot of things well. My only real critique is that I feel like some of Gael's friends were there as placeholders for characters. Not a lot of them got fully fleshed out and I struggle to remember who was who. I also wish there was a little bit more resolution with his family drama. I don't know if it was just too much in one book or if it just needed an extra chapter or two for each idea but I was missing a little bit of resolution.
Overall though, this is such a great debut and I definitely will be reading the author's future books!
White trans gay MC, Black gay SC, trans SC, multiple queer secondary characters
Gael ends up going to a queer meet up called Plus where he needs Declan and as their friendship goes stronger Gael really has to sit and think about what attraction means to him and whether or not he feels it. I love books where queer kids get to question and listening to Gael work through it with his friends and contemplate whether asexuality fit or whether he was gay or whether crushes were a thing for him etc was all so refreshing. Too often we expect people to just pick a label and stick with it without recognizing that queerness is a spectrum and it's okay if labels change.
I really enjoyed the story and I think it did a lot of things well. My only real critique is that I feel like some of Gael's friends were there as placeholders for characters. Not a lot of them got fully fleshed out and I struggle to remember who was who. I also wish there was a little bit more resolution with his family drama. I don't know if it was just too much in one book or if it just needed an extra chapter or two for each idea but I was missing a little bit of resolution.
Overall though, this is such a great debut and I definitely will be reading the author's future books!
White trans gay MC, Black gay SC, trans SC, multiple queer secondary characters
March 5, 2023
This is a really impressive debut novel, and I’m so excited to see what more this author comes out with in the future if this is only their debut. There are some really great characters, particularly the main character who you see develop throughout the book as he goes through a really difficult period in his life. There are a lot of heavy themes in this book, including anxiety, suicide, depression, parental abandonment, body dysmorphia, which are offset nicely with the sweet romance between Gael and Declan. I love a good friends-to-lovers slowburn and this book did that so well, without taking away from the importance of the other themes.
While I am not a trans person, this book is written by a trans man and I thought that this did an amazing job of giving you a glimpse into the trans experience and it felt so beautifully done, it truly felt like a love letter to trans teens and so I can see why it has been compared to Kacen Callender’s work.
I can speak on the anxiety representation however, and I thought that that was done really well too, especially the depiction of panic attacks. This author has clearly done their work on making this book feel authentic and I loved that.
I do think the book struggled with the pacing; it felt pretty slow-paced for a book that is only just over 300 pages, and the writing could be a bit repetitive at times too. I also wish that we had seen more fleshing out of some of the side characters; while Declan, and Nicole (Gael’s best friend), and Gael’s parents, felt well fleshed out, there were other minor side characters who didn’t feel like real people, especially compared to the complex main character that we get.
While I am not a trans person, this book is written by a trans man and I thought that this did an amazing job of giving you a glimpse into the trans experience and it felt so beautifully done, it truly felt like a love letter to trans teens and so I can see why it has been compared to Kacen Callender’s work.
I can speak on the anxiety representation however, and I thought that that was done really well too, especially the depiction of panic attacks. This author has clearly done their work on making this book feel authentic and I loved that.
I do think the book struggled with the pacing; it felt pretty slow-paced for a book that is only just over 300 pages, and the writing could be a bit repetitive at times too. I also wish that we had seen more fleshing out of some of the side characters; while Declan, and Nicole (Gael’s best friend), and Gael’s parents, felt well fleshed out, there were other minor side characters who didn’t feel like real people, especially compared to the complex main character that we get.
Want to read
January 27, 2021"The coming-of-age story follows Gael, a trans teenager who joins his town’s LGBTQ+ support group and sparks a new friendship with a cute boy he meets there. When Gael’s aloof father returns home at the same time that his new friendship starts to become something more, Gael must decide whether the cost of protecting his heart is greater than the risk of letting the walls around it down."
February 16, 2023
Review to come when the Harpercollins union gets a reasonable wage, don’t cross a picket line
UPDATE 2/16 THE UNION HAS A CONTRACT TIME TO CATCH UP ON REVIEWS
A solid contemporary coming of age books that perfectly snapshots that adrift feeling of this particular point in your teenage years, especially through a queer lens. This is more…I’m not sure what the right word is, simplistic in terms of conflict? Than the stuff I usually read but I’m also not the target audience and I know this is gonna mean a lot to people who are, who are going through this stuff right now, and I’m so glad they’re gonna have this book
UPDATE 2/16 THE UNION HAS A CONTRACT TIME TO CATCH UP ON REVIEWS
A solid contemporary coming of age books that perfectly snapshots that adrift feeling of this particular point in your teenage years, especially through a queer lens. This is more…I’m not sure what the right word is, simplistic in terms of conflict? Than the stuff I usually read but I’m also not the target audience and I know this is gonna mean a lot to people who are, who are going through this stuff right now, and I’m so glad they’re gonna have this book
December 31, 2024
"i wasn't comfortable with my humanity being debated."
"so many people's idea of trans people revolves around the assumption that we're all straight."
"i'm cis now," she laughs.
"ew."
i love that nicole loves being trans. i think a lot of cis people have this idea that trans people are supposed to hate being trans, that we have to wish we were cisgender, that our transness brings us nothing but pain but nicole refutes that in every way she can. even when things are rough, she still takes pride in who she is. i wish that i could too. not that i hate being trans but i haven't gotten there in terms of acceptance, or self-love, or whatever you'd call it. [i wish i can get there too].
"we could be scared together?"
the blurb wasn't wrong at all when it said this book is when kacen callender meets mason deaver. this book gives felix ever after in the way the mc's transness is spoken about and how he navigates that part of himself, both physically and emotionally. and it also gives i wish you all the best in how gael and declan's friendship and then romance unfold (trans umbrella mc befriending a black queer boy who is a cinnamon roll and is just.. nice, sounds exactly like IWYATB). oh and also, i love how the book goes beyond the traditional queer YA contemporary story arc where most of the focus is just on the romance between the two characters. there is so much going on with gael's mother who has depression and that is a huge part of this story and gael's life. family plays a very important role in this book and so do friendships, trans friendships. i really liked how well-rounded this book was.
that being said, it didn't blow me away or do anything extraordinary (not that it had to). it comforted me and i love queer YA contemporary novels although i am way past the characters' ages and cannot particularly relate to their experiences as much anymore. it was okay at the end of the day, you know. and i knew it would be just that. i've also read way too much queer YA contemporary at this point so i am bound to be picky about which ones are my favourites. i also felt that gael and declan really had a QPR going on more than a strictly defined romantic relationship but that's just my reading.
"so many people's idea of trans people revolves around the assumption that we're all straight."
"i'm cis now," she laughs.
"ew."
i love that nicole loves being trans. i think a lot of cis people have this idea that trans people are supposed to hate being trans, that we have to wish we were cisgender, that our transness brings us nothing but pain but nicole refutes that in every way she can. even when things are rough, she still takes pride in who she is. i wish that i could too. not that i hate being trans but i haven't gotten there in terms of acceptance, or self-love, or whatever you'd call it. [i wish i can get there too].
"we could be scared together?"
the blurb wasn't wrong at all when it said this book is when kacen callender meets mason deaver. this book gives felix ever after in the way the mc's transness is spoken about and how he navigates that part of himself, both physically and emotionally. and it also gives i wish you all the best in how gael and declan's friendship and then romance unfold (trans umbrella mc befriending a black queer boy who is a cinnamon roll and is just.. nice, sounds exactly like IWYATB). oh and also, i love how the book goes beyond the traditional queer YA contemporary story arc where most of the focus is just on the romance between the two characters. there is so much going on with gael's mother who has depression and that is a huge part of this story and gael's life. family plays a very important role in this book and so do friendships, trans friendships. i really liked how well-rounded this book was.
that being said, it didn't blow me away or do anything extraordinary (not that it had to). it comforted me and i love queer YA contemporary novels although i am way past the characters' ages and cannot particularly relate to their experiences as much anymore. it was okay at the end of the day, you know. and i knew it would be just that. i've also read way too much queer YA contemporary at this point so i am bound to be picky about which ones are my favourites. i also felt that gael and declan really had a QPR going on more than a strictly defined romantic relationship but that's just my reading.
February 17, 2023
I received an ARC from Edelweiss
TW: mentioned suicidal ideation, attempted OD, parent with depression, depiction of gun violence, mentioned parental infidelity
3.5
I love stories of queer realization, and I actually especially love to see them with a character who’s already aware of some type of queerness. So I loved being able to see an openly trans person be confronted with the question of identity still- romantic this time.
The storyline for the parental stuff felt realistic, and I think it was well done. The heaviness of that part felt organic and it did help grow the main character from the more mundane/shallow storyline of possible romance.
But this book didn’t quite work for me. Though I thought the heavier aspect was done well without context, and I appreciate the romantic storyline for what it is, it felt imbalance overall. This book doesn’t flow, it tilts from side to side, until neither plot is getting the attention it needs to shine.
I also wanted the characters to feel more 3 dimensional. The supportive characters, everyone in the cast beyond Gael and, in the most part, Declan are flat and uninteresting beyond the occasional nudge they give Gael. Everyone feels more like they’re awkwardly waving a flag of identity instead of being actual characters.
I’m sure some people will love this book, and I really appreciate the way Gael’s queer romantic realization is shown, but this book didn’t quite get me.
TW: mentioned suicidal ideation, attempted OD, parent with depression, depiction of gun violence, mentioned parental infidelity
3.5
I love stories of queer realization, and I actually especially love to see them with a character who’s already aware of some type of queerness. So I loved being able to see an openly trans person be confronted with the question of identity still- romantic this time.
The storyline for the parental stuff felt realistic, and I think it was well done. The heaviness of that part felt organic and it did help grow the main character from the more mundane/shallow storyline of possible romance.
But this book didn’t quite work for me. Though I thought the heavier aspect was done well without context, and I appreciate the romantic storyline for what it is, it felt imbalance overall. This book doesn’t flow, it tilts from side to side, until neither plot is getting the attention it needs to shine.
I also wanted the characters to feel more 3 dimensional. The supportive characters, everyone in the cast beyond Gael and, in the most part, Declan are flat and uninteresting beyond the occasional nudge they give Gael. Everyone feels more like they’re awkwardly waving a flag of identity instead of being actual characters.
I’m sure some people will love this book, and I really appreciate the way Gael’s queer romantic realization is shown, but this book didn’t quite get me.
August 16, 2022
This...hit way too close to home. What a spectacular debut 👌🏼
March 22, 2023
Michael Gray Bulla thanks his cat in the acknowledgements and that is reason enough to read this book.
June 8, 2024
O kuźwa . Kolejna książka unikat
March 28, 2023
A heartfelt debut about family, identity and finding the people who support and accept you for who you are. This story follows transgender teen Gael who is trying to be there for his mother battling depression and dealing with an absentee father during his senior year of high school.
There's a sweet slow burn romance here too that I enjoyed between Gael and Declan, another member of a LGBTQIA support group Gael started going to. Recommended for fans of Mason Deaver or Kacen Callendar and good on audio.
CW: suicide and depression
There's a sweet slow burn romance here too that I enjoyed between Gael and Declan, another member of a LGBTQIA support group Gael started going to. Recommended for fans of Mason Deaver or Kacen Callendar and good on audio.
CW: suicide and depression
October 17, 2022
It was a sweet and emotional story of a trans teen exploring his life, questioning his sexuality, his friendships, and his future.
Triggers of suicide, depression, and panic attacks..
There was a lot going on in this book. I loved that Gael found his tribe of friends that treated him with love and respect. I liked how the author explored his relationship with his mom who suffered from severe depression with sensitivity. Gael was also dealing with his poor relationship with his dad, and falling for a new friend. I appreciated the author’s sensitivity and grace in exploring Gael’s sexuality and insecurities. The ending wasn't too amazing and some parts of the story felt unfinished. I had a hard time enjoying this book. Overall, it was a pretty good yet important story.
Thanks to the publisher and Netgalley for my ARC in exchange for my honest review.
Triggers of suicide, depression, and panic attacks..
There was a lot going on in this book. I loved that Gael found his tribe of friends that treated him with love and respect. I liked how the author explored his relationship with his mom who suffered from severe depression with sensitivity. Gael was also dealing with his poor relationship with his dad, and falling for a new friend. I appreciated the author’s sensitivity and grace in exploring Gael’s sexuality and insecurities. The ending wasn't too amazing and some parts of the story felt unfinished. I had a hard time enjoying this book. Overall, it was a pretty good yet important story.
Thanks to the publisher and Netgalley for my ARC in exchange for my honest review.
April 27, 2023
An assured debut novel! If I Can Give You That is at once an achingly sweet romance and a painfully candid story about the difficult relationships that teenagers share with their all-too-human parents. These two narrative effectively weave back and forth, effectively interrupting and informing the flow of the other, and finally become a refreshingly down-to-earth whole.
Like a lot of contemporary YA, it was a novel I needed to reconnect with my teenage self to fully appreciate. But unlike a lot of contemporary YA, it doesn't dilute or distort the reality of being a teenager to make it better or worse than it really is.
Like a lot of contemporary YA, it was a novel I needed to reconnect with my teenage self to fully appreciate. But unlike a lot of contemporary YA, it doesn't dilute or distort the reality of being a teenager to make it better or worse than it really is.
July 19, 2023
2023 reads: 226/350
gael usually keeps to himself, so when his friend invites him to a support group for LGBTQ+ teens, he doesn’t plan on sharing much. then, he meets declan, becomes part of his friend group, and finds himself wanting to open up more. but as he’s navigating his feelings for declan, he also has to figure out how to deal with his mom’s worsening mental health and his estranged father wanting to be a part of his life again.
i really appreciated how the topics of transness and queerness, which intersected for gael and his best friend, were handled. gael has a lot of conflicting feelings regarding his sexuality that are thankfully resolved by the end of the story.
parents with mental illnesses is a theme i do not see enough of in media. i thought the topic of gael’s mom’s depression was gracefully approached and explored.
i would highly recommend this book!
gael usually keeps to himself, so when his friend invites him to a support group for LGBTQ+ teens, he doesn’t plan on sharing much. then, he meets declan, becomes part of his friend group, and finds himself wanting to open up more. but as he’s navigating his feelings for declan, he also has to figure out how to deal with his mom’s worsening mental health and his estranged father wanting to be a part of his life again.
i really appreciated how the topics of transness and queerness, which intersected for gael and his best friend, were handled. gael has a lot of conflicting feelings regarding his sexuality that are thankfully resolved by the end of the story.
parents with mental illnesses is a theme i do not see enough of in media. i thought the topic of gael’s mom’s depression was gracefully approached and explored.
i would highly recommend this book!
March 27, 2023
So much wonderful rep in this book. The mental health rep hit me hard as the main character lives with his single mother who is clinically depressed and has made suicide attempts. This was portrayed heartbreakingly well. While I expected (and received) great trans rep, this was a facet I didn’t expect.
dnf
March 23, 2023dnf @ 22%
Couldn't really get into it. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Couldn't really get into it. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
January 3, 2023
Thanks a bunch to @harpercollinsca for the advanced reading copy of "If I Can Give You That" by @graybulla ; a coming of age story , a trans story, a solid look at the difficulties of mental health but really a book about the importance and meaning of friendship. It was a lovely read to start off 2023 with and a really nice book to read. No sugarcoating, there are some tough subjects, but it is wonderful to see Gael come into who he is, and learn to trust friendships and his own strength. Comes out in Canada on 02/28, keep an eye out!
August 6, 2022
DNF 58%
There are some important topics here - dealing with a mentally ill parent, figuring out sexuality when you're not cis, divorce, suicide - but the way it's presented is very "how do you do, fellow kids?" to the point of being painful. I'd recommend it for situations where someone specifically needs something about dealing with a mentally ill parent but generally this will not be on my list of recommended reads.
There are some important topics here - dealing with a mentally ill parent, figuring out sexuality when you're not cis, divorce, suicide - but the way it's presented is very "how do you do, fellow kids?" to the point of being painful. I'd recommend it for situations where someone specifically needs something about dealing with a mentally ill parent but generally this will not be on my list of recommended reads.
August 14, 2021
This really is just the most special and beautiful book I could think of. The writing is so gently lyrical without being alienating, the characters are all so nuanced and loveable, letting the conflict stem from personality/backstory clashes rather than any true ill intent. Refreshing in every way I can think of, including how it handles harder subjects.
April 16, 2021
Every so often there comes a book that I can not put into words how utterly excited I am to come out.
This
This is such book.
This
This is such book.
June 27, 2021
Honestly this is an amazing book written by one of the best authors I have read to date. I cant wait to read this one.
October 12, 2021
Can't wait for this one!
June 7, 2023
If I Can Give You That
⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ (5 stars)
If I Can Give You That is about a trans boy, Gael, who’s struggling with helping his depressed mother, handling his feelings about his estranged father, on top of trying to stay stealth and pretty invisible in his Tennessee highschool. After Gael’s best friend convinces him to check out Plus a support group for LGBTQIA+ teens he meets Declan. This opens his world to new friendships, a support system and so much more!
You know those books you read that you wish you had when you were in highschool? I’ve never felt that as strongly as I did with this book. So much about Gael reminded me of myself in highschool. Obviously the whole trans thing but also so much of what was going on with his parents as well as his anxiety about letting people in. It felt cathartic reading about him!
There’s so much about this book I want to talk about but number one is gender dysphoria! There was a line “This body doesn’t deserve this.” That felt like a punch to the gut. It’s something I’ve thought so many times over the years when I was struggling with my own gender dysphoria and to see it so perfectly put in this was a wild time!!! It was so well handled.
I also thought how it handled Gael’s mom’s depression and Gaels feelings about his father was done super well! I also loved getting to see Gael come out of his shell with his new friends and also everything with Pulse!
There’s so many other things I could say about this book but we don’t have time for that, but I know for sure @graybulla has just become one of my favorite authors. I can’t suggest picking up this book enough!
⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ (5 stars)
If I Can Give You That is about a trans boy, Gael, who’s struggling with helping his depressed mother, handling his feelings about his estranged father, on top of trying to stay stealth and pretty invisible in his Tennessee highschool. After Gael’s best friend convinces him to check out Plus a support group for LGBTQIA+ teens he meets Declan. This opens his world to new friendships, a support system and so much more!
You know those books you read that you wish you had when you were in highschool? I’ve never felt that as strongly as I did with this book. So much about Gael reminded me of myself in highschool. Obviously the whole trans thing but also so much of what was going on with his parents as well as his anxiety about letting people in. It felt cathartic reading about him!
There’s so much about this book I want to talk about but number one is gender dysphoria! There was a line “This body doesn’t deserve this.” That felt like a punch to the gut. It’s something I’ve thought so many times over the years when I was struggling with my own gender dysphoria and to see it so perfectly put in this was a wild time!!! It was so well handled.
I also thought how it handled Gael’s mom’s depression and Gaels feelings about his father was done super well! I also loved getting to see Gael come out of his shell with his new friends and also everything with Pulse!
There’s so many other things I could say about this book but we don’t have time for that, but I know for sure @graybulla has just become one of my favorite authors. I can’t suggest picking up this book enough!
March 28, 2023
I’m giving this book 4.5 stars, but rounding up because teenage me would have given it 5, and reading this was like giving my closeted teenage self a warm hug.
I’ve been following the author on social media for a while, patiently waiting for this book to come out, since it seemed so up my alley, and I’m happy to say that I was right to be patient and order it the week it came out! I laughed, I cried (twice), craved Cookout like crazy, and was reminded many times of my own life, as well as my own high school experience.
The book is very well written, maybe some pacing issues but nothing too crazy, and it has fully developed characters that feel very real to the queer southern teenage experience. (I’ve lived in the south my whole life, so I would know!)
This story touches on friendship, first love, trans identity, being LGBT+, as well as multiple family issues, such as having divorced parents and all the baggage attached to that. There’s lots of good conversations on mental health as well, but I will say it gets pretty heavy, almost unexpectedly, which I was okay with/ready for, but some others might not be, so keep that in mind if you’re planning on picking this up!
I’m very excited to see what this author comes out with next, and I hope many more people read this and love it as much as I have!
I’ve been following the author on social media for a while, patiently waiting for this book to come out, since it seemed so up my alley, and I’m happy to say that I was right to be patient and order it the week it came out! I laughed, I cried (twice), craved Cookout like crazy, and was reminded many times of my own life, as well as my own high school experience.
The book is very well written, maybe some pacing issues but nothing too crazy, and it has fully developed characters that feel very real to the queer southern teenage experience. (I’ve lived in the south my whole life, so I would know!)
This story touches on friendship, first love, trans identity, being LGBT+, as well as multiple family issues, such as having divorced parents and all the baggage attached to that. There’s lots of good conversations on mental health as well, but I will say it gets pretty heavy, almost unexpectedly, which I was okay with/ready for, but some others might not be, so keep that in mind if you’re planning on picking this up!
I’m very excited to see what this author comes out with next, and I hope many more people read this and love it as much as I have!
February 27, 2023
4.5 Oh my god, this made me so emotional!
I will admit that at first, I wasn't sure where this was going. It felt like there wasn't any specific plot to follow, so it took me a moment to really get into it, but once I did, I could not stop crying. Although I, myself, am not trans and have never had to deal with the same family issues that Gael has, he was so incredibly relatable. There were so many small moments and passages that really spoke to me, and it was quite therapeutic to address some of my own problems through Gael's story.
Of course, the found family trope will always have my heart, especially when the cast of characters is extra queer and diverse. I loved the relationships that Gael develops with all the side characters, and, obviously, him and Declan are ridiculously adorable. It was beautiful to see an MC who has felt so lonely for so long finally be surrounded by love and support. The book made me wish that I had joined a LGBTQ+ support group when I was younger; it seems like such a heartwarming experience.
I also think that Bulla did a great job of writing Gael's mom's struggle with depression, and not only her own experience with suicide but also and mostly the way it affected Gael. At times, it was heavy and quite difficult to get through, but absolutely worth it.
I would absolutely recommend this book if you're looking for something that will make you sob, but leave you with a general sense of hope and love.
Thank you HarperCollins for an advance reader copy of this novel. I am leaving this review voluntarily.
I will admit that at first, I wasn't sure where this was going. It felt like there wasn't any specific plot to follow, so it took me a moment to really get into it, but once I did, I could not stop crying. Although I, myself, am not trans and have never had to deal with the same family issues that Gael has, he was so incredibly relatable. There were so many small moments and passages that really spoke to me, and it was quite therapeutic to address some of my own problems through Gael's story.
Of course, the found family trope will always have my heart, especially when the cast of characters is extra queer and diverse. I loved the relationships that Gael develops with all the side characters, and, obviously, him and Declan are ridiculously adorable. It was beautiful to see an MC who has felt so lonely for so long finally be surrounded by love and support. The book made me wish that I had joined a LGBTQ+ support group when I was younger; it seems like such a heartwarming experience.
I also think that Bulla did a great job of writing Gael's mom's struggle with depression, and not only her own experience with suicide but also and mostly the way it affected Gael. At times, it was heavy and quite difficult to get through, but absolutely worth it.
I would absolutely recommend this book if you're looking for something that will make you sob, but leave you with a general sense of hope and love.
Thank you HarperCollins for an advance reader copy of this novel. I am leaving this review voluntarily.
Displaying 1 - 30 of 137 reviews