the darkest of times, the darkest of thoughts

by Megan Diedericks

gray, emptybut i let the words growand my heart, i let showbut with separation camethe anxiety, the pain, the journeywithin confinement.i wasn't ever my ownand my many faces had me so alone,i thought i might drown.it started before i even knew what puberty twelve, i wrote my first lines.now, at twenty, i want you to read my warning signs.[content blood, gory descriptions, body horror, suicidal thoughts, grief, mentions of depression and anxiety (none of these are too explicit, but still keep in mind)]

Paperback

Published January 1, 2022

About the author

Megan Diedericks writes poetry and fiction, everything from meek to macabre can be found in between the lines.

Her poetry explores themes of mental health and self-reflection, and when they're not personal—her poems are speculative in nature. The main genres she writes fiction in are Horror, Fantasy, and something akin to Science Fiction. She loves everything fantastical and fanged!

The 2025 Rhysling Award Nominee is the author of two books: the darkest of times, the darkest of thoughts (poetry collection, 2022, self-published) and The Coffin Chronicles (collection of vampiric poems and stories, forthcoming with Island of Wak-Wak!)

You can keep up with Megan on Instagram, @meganreflects!

Reviews

[Lauren Green · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is a MUST-READ for anyone who has experienced heartbreak, dark thoughts or who appreciates emotive masterpieces.

I've followed Megan on Instagram for a while and have always loved her work. Her relatably haunting vibes speak to my soul more than anything else I've ever come across.

I first got the ebook but I fell so in love with the words, that I just HAD to get a physical copy, so I could hold, it and really take in everything about it.

This book does NOT disappoint. I think Megan is an extremely talented writer who just has a way of reaching people with her words like no other.

My absolute favourite poems in this collection were: how to get over a crush, unknown villain, hide and seek (love the creative flow!), puzzle, second guess, haunted mind, and snake.

Some of my favourite quotes throughout the book are:

"i claw at my own walls i built to protect me, but now they trap me" from the poem: wolf.
"i dread closing my eyes because i know, in my dreams i'll hear my own ungodly screams, and see everything I tried to conceal bursting at the seams" from the poem: rest.
"my body is a prison, and my mind, the warden" from the poem: anxiety.

Buy this book. You won't regret it!

[Val.F · Rating 5 out of 5]

A book describing the devastating feelings of heartbreak The writing is beautifully descriptive, dark and powerful taking you on a journey of deep emotions.

[Trevor Wright · Rating 5 out of 5]

This collection conveys deep emotion, immersing the reader in its raw and powerful tone. A striking and memorable read.

[Arani Acharjee · Rating 5 out of 5]

In her debut collection, Megan takes you on a journey where you might need to hold your heart under an umbrella.
She weaves a melancholy blanket with different chapters that let you peak into some deep & dark, yet engrossing parts of her brain.

I think this collection is very well crafted, divided into multiple themes that help you embrace the author's journey with some of the heaviest emotions...

There are several pieces that stood out to me — for their brilliant execution and unique story telling, only proving the author's finesse in this field.

Overall, it was a heartfelt and honest read that is totally worth a go! I wish Megan all the best for her future collections and look forward to it.