How to Talk to a Widower

by Jonathan Tropper

"Beautifully crafted", "Fantastically funny." "Compulsively readable." Jonathan Tropper has earned wild acclaim—-and comparisons to Nick Hornby and Tom Perrotta—for his biting humor and insightful portrayals of families in crisis and men behaving badly. Now the acclaimed author of The Book of Joe and Everything Changes tackles love, lust, and lost in the suburbs—in a stunning novel that is by turns heartfelt and riotously funny.

Doug Parker is a widower at age twenty-nine, and in his quiet suburban town, that makes him something of a celebrity—the object of sympathy, curiosity, and, in some cases, unbridled desire. But Doug has other things on his mind. First there's his sixteen year-old stepson, a once-sweet kid who now is getting into increasingly serious trouble on a daily basis. Then there are Doug's his bossy twin, Clair, who's just left he husband and moved in with Doug, determined to rouse him from his Grieving stupor. And Debbie, who's engaged to Doug's ex-best friend and manically determined to pull off the perfect wedding at any cost.

Soon Doug's entire nuclear family is in his face. And when he starts dipping his toes into the shark-infested waters of the second-time around dating scene, it isn't long before his new life is spinning hopelessly out of control, cutting a harrowing and often hilarious swath of sexual missteps and escalating chaos across the suburban landscape.


From the Hardcover edition.

Genres: Fiction, Humor, Contemporary, Romance, Book Club, Adult Fiction, Audiobook

402 pages, Kindle Edition

First published June 28, 2007

About the author

Jonathan Tropper is the author of Everything Changes, The Book of Joe , which was a Booksense selection, and Plan B. He lives with his wife, Elizabeth, and their children in Westchester, New York, where he teaches writing at Manhattanville College. How To Talk To A Widower was optioned by Paramount Pictures, and Everything Changes and The Book of Joe are also in development as feature films.

-Information from www.jonathantropper.com

Reviews

[Baba · Rating 4 out of 5]

A subtle comedy set around dealing with grief... it being a comedy, makes it that more interesting and attention grabbing. Don't get me wrong the whole reality is built like a Levi's commercial, as in being stylised, beautiful women, self aware men, great quotes... but it works. Well it worked for me. When I first read this, it felt like it blew my mind - maybe because it deals with these topics in ways that better engage an audience? An easy 8.5 out of 12 Four Star read.

2008 read

[M · Rating 2 out of 5]

You know you're in Jonathan Tropper's world when:

- All the women are painfully, and unbelievably beautiful
- Every character talks like they're from a snappy 90's sitcom
- the protagonist is shy and sensitive, snarky and bumbeling, lost in the 80's, has a dysfunctional family, and a father who has died or suffered a stroke
- there is much graphic objectification of women, yet somehow the protagonist is still a sensitive soul who loves women so so much
- you feel as though you've read one, you've read them all

That being said (and perhaps you wonder why I am STILL reading him - well, I took out a bunch of his stuff from the library, and how can I not get my money's worth), this one did have more merit than his usual - I even found myself tearing up on occasion. But I still wish not everyone in the book needed to share everything with everyone and that there would be more maturity and divrsity to the writing.

[Sassacaia · Rating 5 out of 5]

I love Jonathan Tropper! I love how real his characters are, how easily you fall into his world and fall in love with his characters. It gives me hope that maybe mankind isn't all that bad. I'm so glad my coworker randomly bought his books then lent them to me (without even reading them first) because otherwise I might not even know about these books!


He makes me laugh out loud, and I love his dialogue:

“We don’t have twin telepathy.”
“Of course we do, it’s just subtle, like...flesh-colored nail polish.”
I grin. “Like...central air.”
“Like...a white wine buzz.”
“Like...Mel Gibson’s Australian accent in Lethal Weapon.”

I love how he writes pieces into his work that only people of a certain age group might understand, like how there wouldn't be anyone holding up boom boxes in the middle of the rain.

I'm just in love with him. I hope he writes and writes and never stops.

[Carol · Rating 4 out of 5]

3.5 Stars. Not my favorite JT novel, but still good and filled with his usual sarcasm and wit. He truly does have the knack for writing about a difficult subject and turning it into something quirky and humorous. Enjoyed it!

[Kelly (and the Book Boar) · Rating 4 out of 5]

4.5 Stars

29 year old Doug Parker was barely getting his life together when his wife Hailey passed away. Now she’s gone – and so is he. It’s been over a year and he is barely functioning. He rarely leaves the house and avoids any interaction with his family (including his stepson who was also left behind when Hailey died). The only thing he’s managed to do is morph his monthly magazine column from a “how to …” regarding celebrities to a “how to talk to a widower”. Doug’s twin sister, Clair, decides it’s high time Doug get back into the real world that includes both leaving the house AND getting on the dating circuit again.

There just aren’t enough words to express how much I love Jonathan Tropper. His characters seem so familiar to me, his dry humor makes me belly laugh, and his understated dramatic moments make me feel all of the feelings. I’m attempting to spread out the remaining unread-by-me Tropper books at this point so I don’t find myself having withdrawal symptoms when I come to the end. Get writing, Jonathan, ‘cause I’m waiting for new stuff!

[Sterlingcindysu · Rating 3 out of 5]

I've forgotten how light-hearted Tropper can be. His characters live in such a fantasy world. A young widower, similar to Evvie Drake Starts Over, can hide away from the world for 12+ months while mourning his hot, beautiful, powerful wife. Because of course, anyone can skip work for a year, live in a paid-off house with no obligations, can just m-o-u-r-n every night while drinking Jack without gaining an ounce. At the end, referring to himself, he says, "we're young, slim sad and beautiful" which isn't something I'd think if I day-drank for a year.

I figured the twisty heart straw on the cover was to get women readers.

Actually it'd be a pretty good book to give to a widower. After reading this I still have no idea what to say that isn't a cliche or pitiful.

The tv show "The Unicorn" is loosely based on the same premise, except the man has two daughters. Clue the avalanche of available divorcees and older singles when word gets out this guy's ready to get back into the waters.

[BookNightOwl · Rating 5 out of 5]

How to Talk to a Widower is about a 29 year old guy who loses his slightly older wife in a plane crash.

I Love this author!!! I have read 2 books from him. This book and This is where I leave you and both books were fantastic. Jonathan Trooper takes serious subjects and knows how make a great read from it. He is so funny in his writing he makes me laugh out loud. Definitely a 5 star book!!!

[Ruth · Rating 5 out of 5]

Wow! I feel very fortunate to have found a blurb about this book on the Borders newsletter. I read this on my Kindle and I was so impressed. Doug has lost his wife and friends and family members feel that it is more than time for him to get out their dating again. Doug doesn't quite feel that way yet but allows his twin to talk him it to it as we progress through the book. Jonathan Tropper, the author, so beautifully describes Doug's feeling of loss that you feel that he must have experienced this himself or has interviewed someone who has been through a profound loss. Also his witt is first class. Particularly enjoyable is a chapter where Doug meets his dead wife's ex-husband to talk about Russ (the son of Hailey, his dead wife, and Jim, Hailey's ex-husband.) Jonathan Tropper writes the dialogue between the two men along with what they are really thinking about each other. The end of the book also has a surprise event that I never expected to read. I have discovered that Tropper has written two more books. I will look forward to reading them and recommend this one heartily to everyone who enjoys a good book. Hope your library has this one!

[Eric_W · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is the third Tropper novel I have read, the first being This is Where I Leave You. I liked both of them a lot. They are poignant, sweet, funny, vicious, and insightful. His family dinner scenes are classic. They have you laughing out loud only to get sucker punched by the perceptiveness. He does this through the classic comedian's technique of hyperbole, but it's not exaggerated so much that it becomes caricature. We've all seen elements of his dysfunctional family in ourselves and others.

His books (from what I've read his others do also) also relate to how we deal with death; in this one Doug Parker, age twenty-nine, wallows in self-pity after the death of his wife, Hailey, in a plane crash. She was older than he and came with a twelve-year-old son, Russ.

At the dinner celebrating his sister Deb's upcoming marriage, as things go from bad to worse,

Russ [Doug's stepson] excuses himself for a minute, is gone for fifteen, and comes back with his eyes glazed over. “You had to get high right now?” I whisper to him. “It was so important?” “It was a biological imperative, dude. It is fucking intense in here.” “It’s just dinner with the family.” “Come on, man. It’s like there’s a hunk of C4 strapped to the table and we’re all just waiting to see when it will detonate. I can’t believe you dragged me here.”

It’s a tricky enough business forming a friendship with a pissed-off teenager under the best of circumstances. Now try it when you’re sleeping with his mother, when you are, quite literally, a motherfucker. Let me tell you, that requires a whole other skill set. When I first moved in, I knew I’d have to make an effort to bond with Russ so that Hailey could feel good about the whole arrangement. If she didn’t, it wasn’t like she was going to give her kid the boot. Last one hired, first one fired. And so I applied myself like a laid-back uncle, giving him lifts to school or the mall to meet his friends, taking him to the occasional weeknight movie, editing his term papers, and, more recently, taking him out for driving practice in my secondhand Saab. I was a lazy boy and I am a lazy man, and the beauty of the situation was that I wasn’t really expected to be a parent to Russ, which, based on the limited wisdom I have to offer, was a win-win situation for all involved.

They had not been married long and Doug refuses to admit that life goes on: his twin sister is leaving her husband after becoming pregnant and his younger sister, Deb, is getting married to Mike whom she met at Doug's shiva for Hailey, a source of much resentment. Then there is his dad who has just survived a personality-changing stroke. Doug, a columnist, has begin writing a column which is becoming increasingly popular, called "How to Talk to a Widower."

Doug has become a self-imposed social outcast, spending his time throwing rocks (and cell phone) at the rabbits in his yard, saying the kinds of things I guess we all wish we had the guts to. "I lost something after Hailey died. I’m not sure what to call it, but it’s the device that stops you from telling the truth when people ask you how you’re doing, that vital valve that keeps your deeper, truer emotions under lock and key. I don’t know exactly when I lost it, or how to get it back, but for now, when it comes to tact, civility, and discretion, I’m an accident waiting to happen, over and over again." So you get marvelously delicious scenes like this one:

"... few weeks ago, a Jehovah’s Witness or a Jew for Jesus or some other freak on happy pills selling God in a pamphlet showed up at my door, smiling like a cartoon, and said, “Have you let God into your life?” “God can fuck himself.” He smiled beatifically at me, like I’d just complimented his crappy JCPenney suit. “I once felt the way you do, brother.” “You’re not my brother,” I hissed at him. “And you have never felt like this. If you’d ever felt like this, you would still feel like this, because it doesn’t go away."

And the scene where he goes out on a date with a divorcee who has two young children is priceless. Let's just say part of it involves him noting that he usually doesn't mop up vomit until the third date.

[Darlene · Rating 4 out of 5]

Every now and then I feel the urge to 'binge' read. I choose an author and I try to read everything that author has written. Over the last few months I have been binging and one of the authors I chose was Jonathan Tropper. I started with his novel, 'How to Talk to a Widower' and it turned out to be a great place to start. The story begins with several short lines that immediately caught my attention and lingered in my mind….
"I had a wife. Her name is Hailey. Now she's gone and so am I."

These lines were short and simple… yet startling in their simplicity. Clearly, the narrator .. who turns out to be a 29 year old widower named Doug Parker… was in extreme pain over the loss of his wife. I wanted to know more.. what happened to her? I wanted to know where his story would lead.

Over the course of reading Jonathan Tropper's novels, I learned that he creates the kind of male characters that all women want to talk to and confide in when they don't understand the men in their lives. His male characters are, of course, appropriately masculine on the outside, have a wicked sense of humor (often dark) ; but most importantly, on the inside they have an emotional maturity and self-awareness.. or at least they are in the PROCESS of becoming emotionally mature and self-aware. Doug Parker, of course, is one of those characters. Doug is grieving the loss of his wife,Hailey, who perished in a plane crash. Doug is coping with his loss as best he can. He is in that stage where he numbly moves through each day but not at all living in the present. Instead his mind is replaying in a constant loop the day he met his wife at work… their life together up until the point she died. He is more comfortable living in the past because he realizes that if he stays in the past where Hailey is alive and the two are happy together,then he doesn't have to experience the pain of his present existence without her.

Of course, Doug cannot go on this way indefinitely. As a matter of fact, in short order, his teenaged stepson Russ, who has gotten into a huge fight with his father shows up on his doorstep. Russ, like Doug, is grieving but he is demonstrating his grief in a very different way.. getting into fights at school and ditching school entirely. Doug feels guilt and he feels a sense of responsibility toward Russ… what would Hailey want him to do to help Russ? Before Doug can really get a handle on the situation with Russ, he finds another refugee at his front door.. his twin sister Clair, who has not only left her husband but is carrying a secret of sorts. She needs shelter and a place to think her problems through to a solution. Of course, to further complicate things… Clair has decided that Doug has been grieving long enough. He needs to get on with life and she is going to help.. by playing matchmaker for him.

It quickly becomes clear that Doug can no longer remain in that 'limbo-like' existence he has placed himself. He is being thrust back into his life… ready or not… like it or not… by the family members who need him and toward whom he feels responsible. By immersing himself in his family's problems, Doug begins his re-entry into the world. Sure, his re-entry isn't without bumps and snags along the way. Doug finds, much to his surprise and perhaps dismay, that being a widower actually makes him quite popular with certain women… I suppose there are certain women who sense his vulnerability and want to take care of him. Doug ends up getting involved in an inappropriate and ultimately dangerous relationship with a woman who is dealing with some heavy problems of her own and this relationship could have proven catastrophic for him.

'How to Talk to a Widower' had the potential to be a heavy and emotionally draining story; but Jonathan Tropper skillfully injected moments of humor and downright absurdity into Doug's story. And isn't 'real' life full of those humorous and absurd moments as well? The story isn't tied up neatly and perfectly in the end but I did come away with the sense that Doug is ready to embrace and face what life throws his way.

[Maciek · Rating 4 out of 5]

I think we are all familiar with the stereotype of the so called "modern" writer: the kind of guy or girl who sits at Starbucks, smokes a Silk Cut (or a Djarum or other aromaticized poison if he or she is hip enough) and types away on a MacBook. The type of text that comes out is is either dick/chick lit, meaning witty novels about the complicated relationship between men and women, or some quasi post-modern bullshit which nobody understands and everybody praises for exactly that reason. Sometimes, the two are combined to results unknown.

If you watch TV you propably saw such writers on popular shows. Ten years ago Carrie Bradshaw was the queen - she was intelligent, independant and wrote her own column in a popular newspaper, which eventually got published in a book form. Now, Hank Moody seems to have taken over, I don't known why, most propably because he's played by David Duchovny.

Jonathan Tropper is such a guy. His novel has to deal with the complicated relationships between men and women, and unlike many others when he tries to be funny he is funny, when he tries to be observant he is observant, and when he tries to be poingnant he is poignant. it's truly a rare experience nowaydays to read a book that will literally make you laugh out loud at one page and teary-eyed at the next. Tropper describes the overwhelming sense of loss so beautifully and truthfully that it's impossible not to relate to the pain and sorrow of the main character. We care for him deeply, and simply wish that the guy could be happy, once again.

What stops me from giving this book a perfect rating is its purely American (or rather Hollywood) mentality. Everyone is beautiful, succesful and rich. Doug, the main character, is of course handsome, has a beautiful, protective sister, makes out with his hot neighbour, and even his mom is a hot chica.
There are too many subplots that are so interesting but never completely fleshed out: Doug's stepson is a predictable hipster whose dilemmas are solved way too easily, the melodramatic transformation of some characters screams "screeenplay!" so loud that it's impossible to ignore.

However, for the sheer amount of emotion Tropper manages to cover in this work the book is worth reading. While not terribly memorable, it is definitely funny, poingnant and moving - a feat which many writers failed to manage, and which Tropper conveys smoothly and with style. I will most certainly read his other works.

[Ed · Rating 4 out of 5]

I don't know why it took me so long to get back to read another book by Jonathan Tropper. A couple of years back I read his latest book This Is Where I Leave You a couple years back and it was my favorite book of the year. There was something simply sizzling about Tropper's writing - razor sharp, witty, raw, funny, painful, astute... the exclamatory adjectives could just go on and on. I guess part of my fear was diluting that particular reading experience, but after a very informal online chat about Tropper I decided I was way overdue to go back and read one of his older books.

There was a lot of familiar Tropper ground in How To Talk To A Widower - a down on their luck male protagonist experiencing a great loss (you can take a good guess at it given the title) desperately trying to clamor his way back to a some semblance of a "normal" life. This being quite difficult to do with himself often being his own worst enemy, but not helped along by his highly (and equally) dysfunctional family and friends. So, the thing is, that description could work for either This Is Where I Leave You or Widower... so I am kind of in a quandary as I loved the former so, so much and thought it was new and fresh and bold... now seems quite derivative of latter, a book that preceded it.

My fear of dilution did come true, but yet I still find it nearly impossible to fault Tropper for writing such amazing works that are so honest (painfully honest) about the human condition and that leave you laughing and crying during the same reading session. Ultimately, I am giving the edge to my first Tropper, This Is Where I Leave You, which I rated 5 stars... giving Widower a solid 4.5 star rating and hedging my bets and rounding down to 4 stars for Goodreads purposes as I hear from my fellow Tropper-ites that his The Book of Joe is the best of all his works. But a extremely solid effort, that officially and quickly boosts Tropper onto my "favorite author" list.

[Austra · Rating 5 out of 5]

Šī grāmata man jau pasen svaidījās kindlā, bet kaut kā nebiju tikusi līdz tās lasīšanai. Un tā nu sanāca, ka laika gaitā es no tās apraksta atcerējos tikai to, ka tā ir par gados jaunu (zem 30) atraitni un viņa problēmām. Biju svētā pārliecībā, ka tā ir totāla chick-lit. Bet nu uz manu atmiņu paļauties nevar, un te sanāca ļoti jauks pārsteigums.

Dags pirms gada aviokatastrofā ir zaudējis savu sievu, viņam ir palikusi mantojumā māja un padēls pusaudzis. Un daudz sēru, kuras viņš pārsvarā slīcina viskijā. Vēl viņam ir tāda diezgan disfunkcionāla ģimenīte (divas māsas un vecāki, katrs ar savu, komēdijdrāmas cienīgu problēmu komplektāciju). Vietām šī grāmata bija histēriski smieklīga, bet lielākoties tā bija visnotaļ trāpīga palicēja grēksūdze - ka pēc tuva cilvēka nāves sērošana ir tā vieglākā daļa. Grūtāk ir saņemties dzīvot tālāk, atļaut sev beigt sērot, atļaut sev atkal atvērties un atļaut aizgājējam būt aizgājējam, un beigt uzplēst brūces katru mīļu rītu. Katrs, protams, ar zaudējumu tiek galā pa savam, tomēr šis bija ļoti patiesi un pazīstami. Tāpēc, lai gan bija pāris vietas, ko šajā grāmatā varētu gribēt labāk vai savādāk, lieku tai 5 zvaigznes. Nava žēl.

[Melissa · Rating 5 out of 5]

Great story. There are a few parts of the book that can bring tears to your eyes, but Doug is a young widower... Most of the book is quick witted and funny.
Doug is in his 20's and marries a women about 11 years older than he is (her name is Hailey, spelled the same as my daughter) with a teenage son. She dies about 2 years into their marriage. The story is mainly the year after his wife's death. Doug's relationship with his teenage step-son, pregnant twin sister whose life is coming undone, another sister who is planning a perfect wedding, drunk actress mother but who is loving, father whose mind is going, friend of his wife's that wants to do more than bring him meals once a week, and dealing with his overwhelming grief. Which involves lots of alcohol, throwing rocks at bunnies, crying outbursts, and movies during the day. No boring parts in this book!

[Tracy P. · Rating 5 out of 5]

Fantastic. I laughed, got teary eyed and had a fantastic time with this relatable, well developed wild and crazy family!

Narrator Eric Ruben did a fantastic job keeping be laughing from started to finish. Bravo.

[Michael · Rating 3 out of 5]

Doug Parker is a 29-year old widower. He lost his wife Hayley (who was older) in a plane crash and has spent the last year avoiding life in Jonathan Tropper's "How to Talk to a Widower."

And while much of Doug's world is defined by his depression and anger over losing Hayley, it's not the only thing going on his life. His twin sister Clair is pregnant and leaving her husband, his father suffered a stroke and has good and bad days and his younger sister met her fiancee at the shiva for Hayley. And that's before you get to a rebelling step-son and Doug's decision to try living life again--if by living you mean, sleeping with the wife of a good friend, dating again and falling for the guidance counsellor at his step-son's school.

Tropper channels a Nick-Hornby-like vibe with first-person narrator Doug. Doug makes choices he admittedly knows are wrong, but continues the path due to his perceived pain and anguish over losing Hayley. Doug is, at times, selfish and the story is about his growing up. It's about coming to grips with the pain and realizing that Hayley would want him to continue living his life.

Now, it all sounds a bit dark and it is. But Tropper has filled this book with so many memorable characters that there are light moments sprinkled in the story to keep the reader from getting totally depressed. The circus of women around the newly-dating Doug is worth the price of admission alone.

Funny, sarcastic and sardonic all at the same time, "How To Talk to a Widower" is an ideal book for guys and the women who want to understand them. And don't let the new cover fool you. It looks like a light romance novel, but underneath is a story of a guy dealing with his demons. And while there is some romance, I wouldn't say it's a romance in the strictest sense of the word.

[Siv30 · Rating 4 out of 5]

מה קורה לאלמן שנותר להתמודד עם מתבגר בן 16, משפחתו, השכנים ובעיקר השכנות והגרוש של אישתו ז"ל ? החיים קורים, והם משעשעים, עצובים, אירוניים ובעיקר קריאים.

דאג פארקר הוא אלמן בן 29. אישתו נהרגה אחרי שנתיים של נישואים ומותירה אותו להתמודד עם האבל הפרטי שלו ועם כל העולם. בתחילה, אפוף אדי אלכוהול ומיזנטרופיה קשה הוא מסתגר בבית, אך ככל ששנת האבל מתקדמת דאג נאלץ לצאת לעולם וההתקלויות שלו במציאות רוויות אירועים שבמבט מהצד משעשעים, שנונים וראליסטים להחריד.

אהבתי את הספר. יש בהומור של טרופר אירוניה עצמית, קריצה מתובלת בלעג למנהגים אמריקאים והמון שחור שמחזיק את שרירי הפנים במצב מחוייך תמידי. הוא מטפל בקלילות בנושא כבד ולא נופל למלכודת העיסתיות הדביקה.

מומלץ בחום.

"איך לדבר עם אלמן", ג'ונתן טרופר

הוצאת כנרת זמורה ביתן, 2008, 300 עמ

[Maida · Rating 5 out of 5]

There have been many great “storytellers” throughout history. Unfortunately, there have been very few authors blessed with BOTH the talent to “tell a story,” as well as the ability to truly “capture the human condition.” Jonathan Tropper is one such author. He is the rare author whose novels, despite their brilliance & intellectual undertones, are still relatable to the recreational reader. A single sentence by Jonathan Tropper can cause a reader to roar in laughter, while crying sad heartfelt tears. His characters are loveable, flawed, pained, realistic & SO INCREDIBLY EASY TO ROOT FOR. I would wholeheartedly recommend the novel— How to Talk to a Widower—to anyone & everyone (males & females alike). The protagonist of this novel— Doug Parker— was tragically widowed at the age of 28, after losing his wife in a horrific accident. Over a year later, circumstances have finally forced him to “attempt” to mend his life. Reading about Doug’s grief & his journey towards acceptance and renewal will tug at your heartstrings & make you weep for this broken man, all while causing you to laugh uproariously & to frantically turn pages in anticipation of the surprises that lie ahead. *5/5 stars*

“I had a wife, her name was Hailey. Now she’s gone. And so am I.”

“But just because something is true doesn't mean I'm ready to face it today. Sometimes the only truth people can handle is the one they woke up with that morning. And this morning, like every morning, I woke up with PAIN. So do me a favor and don't f*ck with it”

“Pity, I've learned, is like a fart. You can tolerate your own, but you simply can't stand anyone else's.”

“Life knocks us all on our ass at some point. And then we get back up and we make some changes because that’s what men do. We adapt. And when we’re done adapting we’re better equipped to survive”

“And soon the bass drums are pounding and the guitars are riffing, and there’s nothing to do but sing along to the crude lyrics, purging our collective nerves in the thunderous, throbbing music. I want to rock and roll all night, and party every day! / I want to rock and roll all night, and party every day! And even Stephen joins in, bouncing his knee and nodding to the beat as he does, and we’re all singing, at full volume, rocking in our seats and banging on upholstery, trying to empty our bellies of every last bit of nerves. The song ends too soon, before anything transcendent can occur, before we can be saved by Rock and Roll. None of us knows the words to the next one, I mean, it’s KISS after all, and who really knows more than one or two KISS songs? ” ~ Jonathan Tropper, How To Talk To A Widower

[Abigail Hillinger · Rating 3 out of 5]

I was so excited to receive a pre-released copy of this book (it's slated to hit stores on 7/17). Jonathan Tropper's name keeps popping up whenever I type in a search for Nick Hornby/Tom Perrotta, and his books have received good reviews. This one was supposed to be amazing. I read it in a few nights and while I couldn't put it down, I felt robbed toward the end of the book. I turned the last page and thought, "That's it?"

The part that kills me is Tropper is a great author-- poignant, funny, and observant. But he put too many subplots into a relatively short book, generalizing the characters he had because there were simply too many to go into: protagonist Doug, his mother, his father, Claire, Debbie, Laney, Dave, Brooke, Russ, Jim, and of course, his late-wife Hailey. I really wanted to know more about their stories, particularly the father/mother, but Tropper threw too much to the wind and didn't give enough to anchor it back. I wish he had either omitted some characters or expanded on them much more, as in giving an additional 100-200 pages.

I'm going to give this book another read--maybe I expected too much off the bat--and I would definitely still recommend it to others, because Tropper really IS, as I said, a great author. I just hope I get to see more character analysis in his other books.

[Plínio · Rating 5 out of 5]

O PRIMEIRO LAD-LIT A GENTE NUNCA ESQUECE!!

Sabe quando você se identifica com o narrador, gosta dos personagens e das relações entre eles, se interessa pelo drama proposto e consome uma história em poucos dias? Então...
Em Como Falar Com Um Viúvo, Tropper mostra o motivo de ser considerado por muitos o rei do lad-lit. Com um pano de fundo dramático, ele cria situações hilárias e desperta emoções conflitantes no leitor.
Juro que eu ia do céu ao inferno durante a leitura!
Um romance emocionante, com um tom cinematográfico, sobre um jovem preso no luto em busca de uma fagulha de esperança e de estímulo parar encontrar um recomeço.

[Marla · Rating 1 out of 5]

Mr. Tropper, why do you hate women? Good news ladies, if you weigh 135 lbs, you should get to your local Weight Watchers ASAP according to Mr. Tropper. Women are either physically perfect, or not worthy of love.

[Dora Santos Marques · Rating 4 out of 5]

A minha opinião em vídeo: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e6UGf...

Que surpresa deliciosa!
Um "lad lit" super bem escrito, original e com uma família disfuncional tão amorosa!
Já conhecia o Jonathan Tropper do "This is where I leave you" e este não ficou atrás.
Quero ler mais!

[Laala Kashef Alghata · Rating 2 out of 5]

“There are no happy endings, just happy days, happy moments. The only real ending is death, and trust me, no one dies happy. And the price of not dying is that things change all the time, and the only thing you can count on is that there’s not a thing you can do about it.” — Jonathan Tropper, How To Talk To a Widower

During the summer, I read This Is Where I Leave You. I really enjoyed it. It was a great comic novel, good dialect, good progression, a lot of heart. I even talked about how Tropper trumped Jonathan Coe, who is regarded as one of the great comic writers of his generation.

So I was looking forward to reading this. Tropper feels like a nice break between my heavier reading, something to read through quickly, but without having to compromise on good writing (much like how I feel about Jodi Picoult). But I was sorely disappointed. The book was boring and predictable, the writing mostly mundane. There was a couple of good lines, but mostly it was an exercise in whether I could keep reading after being disappointed again and again. The ending tried too much to shock and then appease, when in reality it did neither.

I wish I had read it before This Is Were I Leave You rather than after, so that I could at least appreciate that he has improved hugely, but the reality is, I was so bored by this that if I had read it first, I don’t know if I would have picked up another Tropper. As soon as I finished this book, I walked to my nearest Oxfam and gave it away. Maybe there at least it’ll do some good.

[Nikki · Rating 3 out of 5]

After reading all of Tropper's books, its interesting to notice his progression and certain kinds of scenes that are unique to him. Tropper loves setting up utterly ridiculous scenes, usually involving family, that are totally hilarious, I believe there was one in book of joe involving a family dinner and a parrot. I really like his writing style. This book is a bit of an emotional rollercoaster, going from truly sad to laughing out loud a few pages later. All in all I think this is a great read, out of all of his books I'd say this is #2, book of joe still claims the top spot in my opinion. It's the kind of book that makes you want to call your friends and read passages out loud, the kind that makes you forget where you are and you laugh out loud and get annoyed when people make you stop reading to try to explain what made you laugh, seriously, you need to just read the book.

[Allison · Rating 5 out of 5]

I bought this book Monday morning and was done by it on Tuesday afternoon. One of those perfect miracles in which I enjoyed every last thing about it: the characters, the writing, the pace. It would make me laugh and then out of nowhere, it would have me tearing up. Just a perfect combination of everything that makes me want to read.

[Grumpus · Rating 4 out of 5]

Wow, I like a book about relationships. Not my typical listen but I've enjoyed other Tropper books and I have to say I never thought I'd like this as much as I did. The title of the book put me off for a while and that was a shame. This is my fourth book by the author and all have achieved 4 stars. Funny? Yes, but his writing style is makes it great.

[Karen Kozuls · Rating 5 out of 5]

Twenty nine year old Doug is grieving the death of his wife. Full of wry humour and authentic trials on his roller coaster ride to recovery. Loved it.

[Liz · Rating 4 out of 5]

'But something happened, some hiccup in the cosmos, and we could see behind each other's curtains, and we were talking and laughing, and she was smart and funny and vulnerable and just so goddammed beautiful, the kind of beautiful that was worth being shot over'.

'It's rare for someone to say something to you, just a few words, really, and actually make you see yourself from a completely different vantage point'.

'It's life, that's all. There are no happy endings, just happy days happy moments. The only real ending is death, and trust me, no one dies happy. And the price of not dying is that things change all the time, and the only thing you can count on is that and there's not a thing you can do about it '.

'I've got a tattoo on my wrist to remind me of what I've lost, and I've got a Laney Potter in parking lots to remind me of what I've done, and I'll just have to get used to it, but sometimes the absolute permanence of everything is like a tire iron to the skull'.

[ALPHAreader · Rating 5 out of 5]

I love, love, loved this book!
It’s hard to put the book into a specific genre. On the one hand it’s a romantic-comedy, but with a very bleak beginning. Before Doug’s restorative journey the book deals with his dark depression following the death of his wife, Hailey. It is a sad beginning; but infused with Tropper’s laugh-out-loud humor that takes a speculative look at grief and the funny side of mourning.

Doug has to fight-off the advancements of suburban housewives in the wake of Hailey’s death – women his wife once called friends are dropping by with casseroles and offers of ‘shoulders’ to cry on. Doug talks about his questionable hygiene in the wake of his mourning and amidst his grieving – life goes on. His sister’s life is crumbling down around her, and she turns to Doug for help.
Doug also has to deal with his stepson’s escalating recklessness after Hailey’s death – and wonder at his dubious role in Russ’s life since he’s no longer really his step-father, is he?
And amidst all this, Doug’s professional life inexplicably takes off. His personal column in the paper starts to reflect the acerbic wit he’s cultivated during his mourning, and ‘How to talk to a Widower’ turns him into a smash hit.

Your heart does break to read about what Doug has lost. Tropper highlights Doug and Hailey’s romance through flashbacks and heart-wrenching narration by Doug about how much he misses the love of his life.

But ultimately Doug is a prickly character. Admittedly, we are meeting him when he’s at his worst – and because of his vulnerable, depressive state he does make some ginormous mistakes that will have you gritting your teeth at his stupidity. But it’s all a part of his healing process. He has to go there to come back, so to speak. Doug’s grief makes him a kind of ‘anti-hero’ – through flashbacks about him and Hailey we know that underneath the slovenly, sometimes jerk we first meet is a very affectionate, charming young man. But grief has changed him.

The book does have a romance at its centre, as Doug tentatively starts dating Russ’s High School guidance counselor. Their interactions leave you with butterflies in your stomach, and the relationship has a restorative quality for Doug whose real personality starts to resurface as the romance progresses;

Sometimes you walk past a pretty girl on the street and there's something beyond beauty in her face, something warm and smart and sensual and inviting, and in the three seconds you have to look at her, you actually fall in love, and in those moments, you can actually know the taste of her kiss, the feel of her skin against yours, the sound of her laugh, how she'll look at you and make you whole. And then she's gone, and in the five seconds afterwards, you mourn her loss with more sadness than you'll ever admit to.

Be warned – you will cry. But you will also laugh, loudly. Tropper walks a fine line between humour and compassion throughout the book as he explores the many facets of Doug’s grief and healing process. You will be frustrated by some of Doug’s actions, but sympathetic to his grief-addled state.

This is the second book of Tropper’s that I’ve read. The first was ‘The Book of Joe’, which I also loved. I intend to read all of his books eventually, because I think he’s fast becoming one of my favourite authors.

[Paula · Rating 5 out of 5]

"How to Talk to a Widower" is my second book by Jonathan Tropper and it did not disappoint. Trust me, my expectations were high after "This is Where I Leave You." But Tropper delivered.
He writes the most perfect and likeable beta males. I cannot help falling in love with his male protagonists.
Doug isn't any different. He's so beautifully lost that it awakens the helper syndrome in me. A lot.
This story has some similarities to "This is Where I Leave You" - for example the eccentric mother, the crazy siblings and the heartbroken hero. But Tropper still manages to keep the story fresh and different and there is no mistaking this main character with the others.
Again, it's real life with real life dramas and it's refreshing to read. It's not a polished story with a happily ever after. Life doesn't suddenly perfect by meeting a love interest - the characters still struggle, still question things and still might end up alone.

I could go on forever praising this book and Jonathan Tropper's writing. Fact is, he's got a new fan. And if you like sarcasm, humour, emotions and actually a story with depth and a message, read his books.

5+ another-perfect-hero stars.