The Tragedy of Felix and Jake

by J. Daniels

They say the best way to get over someone is to get under someone else.
They say the best way to stay sober is to love yourself.

I’m great at making bad decisions.
Addict? Check. Poor impulse control? Check. Obsessed with the guy I’m sponsoring? Check Check Check.
There is no one worse for me to want in my bed than Jake Tully. He’s hot and grumpy and literally a terrible idea. Terrible. Worse, no one has ever made me feel the way he does — valued. But here I am - thinking about him again.

Falling for my sponsor is not my worst idea yet, but it’s damn close.
Felix Fields is everything good. He’s thoughtful and kind. I can’t help but think about every bad thing we could do between these sheets.
But we can’t be together. I’m not willing to risk my recovery for anyone – even if he might be perfect for me.

Finding a love like this is nothing short of a tragedy.

**Author's Note: This book ends in a Happily Ever After, but getting there isn't easy.

Genres: M M Romance, Romance, LGBT, Friends To Lovers, Contemporary, Queer, Contemporary Romance

431 pages, Kindle Edition

First published February 2, 2023

About the author

J. Daniels is the New York Times and USA Today bestselling author of the Alabama Summer, Dirty Deeds and Sweet Addiction series, as well as her MM romance: The Tragedy of Felix and Jake.

Best known for her sexy, small-town romances, her debut novel, Sweet Addiction, was first published in 2014 and went on to become an international bestseller. Since then, she has published more than fifteen novels, including the Dirty Deeds series with Forever Romance.

Daniels grew up in Baltimore and currently lives in Maryland with her husband and three kids. A former full-time Radiologic Technologist, she began writing romance after college and quickly discovered a passion for it. You'll still catch her in scrubs every now and then, but most of her time is spent writing these days—a career she is eternally grateful for.

Always an avid reader, Daniels enjoys books of all kinds, but favors Romance (of course) and Fantasy. She loves hiking, traveling, going to the mountains for the weekend, and spending time with her family.

Be sure to follow Jessica on BookBub for the latest on sales: http://bit.ly/jdaniels_bookbub

Books/Shop/Info: https://bit.ly/shopmybooks

Reviews

[Larissa Cambusano · Rating 5 out of 5]

WE DID IT 😭😭😭😭😭😭

i’m a puddle of tears and happiness.

[Jay H (Hiatus) · Rating 5 out of 5]

Look at me, already tackling my 2025 reading goals with this re-read 🤭

[Kate · Rating 5 out of 5]

The audacity of this book to be one OF THE BEST THINGS I’VE EVER READ! It had the most hilarious Brooklyn 99 energy (Felix was serving Jake Peralta), but make it hot af, and angsty and adorable and …perfect. This book is perfect and I LOVED IT.

AND FELIX. Fucking Felix. Don’t even get me started. That ADHD king just became one of my favourite characters of all time. I would defend him til the end.

TROPES & VIBES:
- Books that made laugh out loud
- Books I finished in under 24 hours because they made me go full Hyperfixate Kate 💅🏼
- Phenomenal side-characters (Miguel and Hector supremacy!!)
- Soulmates
- Grumpy x sunshine

5million⭐️ 3🌶️

Thank you to the lovely J. Daniels for sending me a copy of this, and I would apologise for blowing up your DMs with my enthusiastic “I LOVE THIS BOOK SO FUCKING MUCH” messages, but I regret nothing. We’re friends now. Soz x

[Seraphyna˚₊‧ʚ♡ɞ‎‧₊˚ (college hiatus) · Rating 4 out of 5]

4⭐’s/5
Jake and Felix you two better pay for my therapy bills. I thought I was going to die reading this book. If there was a fire I would save this book as well as my laptop. I will MARRY this book. I wanted to start off the year with an angsty book and now I got it. This was such a heavy and realistic book that dealt with very heavy topics, so please be sure to check the trigger warnings before going into this one.

✧*̥˚𝑺𝒑𝒐𝒊𝒍𝒆𝒓𝒔 𝑨𝒉𝒆𝒂𝒅 *̥˚✧
➳ Play “Shot Glass of Tears”- by Jung Kook

This book starts off with our two main characters Jake and Felix. They’re both drug addicts trying to overcome their addictions. Jake has it more rough on his end, and decides to seek help, and from there he meets Felix, and they both decide to form a sponsor-client relationship to help with Jake's addiction. Felix has been sober and clean for years already with the help of his sponsor Dean so they come about this relationship to help out Jake's case. However they both start liking each other, which violates the rules of their sponsor-client relationship, but soon they find themselves no longer able to withstand being apart from one another and embrace their feelings and relationship.

Jake and Felix completely have my heart. I cried, swooned, squealed, screamed, and cried again when it came to them. Their relationship was so fucking cute I thought I was gonna die reading their teasing, text messages, their obsession over one another, their flirting, the smut, and just these little tiny moments that soon became so wholesome I couldn’t help but fall in love with them.

Here’s a list of reasons why I almost died:
➳Felix being insecure about his hair but soon accepts it because Jake complimented and liked his hair
➳ Both of them each having folders dedicated to one another. Jakes is a folder full of Felix’s selfies, while Felix has a folder of their text conversations
➳Felix already planning out their future together
➳Felix being jealous of his cat Bella because Jake gives a lot of his attention to her
➳Felix no longer wearing a beanie because Jake told him he shouldn’t hide his hair anymore cause it was already perfect and fine the way it was
➳Jake picks up baking as a hobby all cause Felix told him he should do so
➳Felix checking up on him with texts constantly (the texts were so random but they were so cute)
➳ Felix wearing his beanie again cause Jake said he “missed it”
➳Both of them getting matching forearm tattoos that say “we’ll be okay.”

I wanted to give these two the biggest fucking hug because these two have gone through so much in life. They were both addicts that struggled so much to the point where they had so much weight on their shoulders that they carried all on their own. I found myself many times wanting to jump into the book and telling these two angels that they are worth it. They are worth everything this world has to give. You can’t hate them or blame them for the choices they make, and I’m so glad this book didn’t gloss over that fact. People say addiction is a choice but it truly isn't. It’s harder for them, it’s not as easy as it seems. In their situation sometimes it overpowers you, they found themselves in situations where life for them was so unfair and hard and they couldn’t help but let this take over. And honestly this was one of the reasons why you can not hate these two for the choices they made, because life for them was already too much for them, they had so much going on. Felix’s past with his absentee father made me cry and Jake's relationship with his brother CJ broke my heart. CJ would go to the ends of the earth for his brother and it truly was heartbreaking and amazing to read their relationship. Both of them deserve nothing but the world, and truly they both should know that they are fucking worth every single thing this world has to offer. I’m so glad I decided to read this book.

➳ 𝐐𝐮𝐨𝐭𝐞𝐬 𝐈 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐝
“𝗘𝘃𝗲𝗿𝘆𝘁𝗵𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗶𝘀 𝘀𝘁𝗮𝗰𝗸𝗲𝗱 𝗮𝗴𝗮𝗶𝗻𝘀𝘁 𝘂𝘀,” 𝗜 𝘀𝗮𝘆.
“𝗪𝗲’𝗱 𝗯𝗲 𝗮 𝘁𝗿𝗮𝗴𝗲𝗱𝘆, 𝗙𝗲𝗹𝗶𝘅. 𝗧𝗵𝗶𝘀 𝘄𝗼𝘂𝗹𝗱𝗻’𝘁 𝘄𝗼𝗿𝗸.” 𝗛𝗶𝘀 𝘀𝗺𝗶𝗹𝗲 𝗶𝘀 𝗰𝗼𝗻𝗳𝘂𝘀𝗶𝗻𝗴. “𝗬𝗼𝘂 𝗱𝗼𝗻’𝘁 𝗮𝗴𝗿𝗲𝗲?”
“𝗡𝗼. 𝗜 𝗮𝗴𝗿𝗲𝗲.”
“𝗜 𝗷𝘂𝘀𝘁 𝗸𝗻𝗼𝘄 𝘁𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝘄𝗼𝘂𝗹𝗱𝗻’𝘁 𝘀𝘁𝗼𝗽 𝗺𝗲.”

“𝙄 𝙬𝙖𝙣𝙩 𝙩𝙤 𝙗𝙚𝙡𝙞𝙚𝙫𝙚 𝙞𝙩. 𝙏𝙝𝙞𝙨 𝙞𝙨 𝙬𝙝𝙮 𝙟𝙪𝙣𝙠𝙞𝙚𝙨 𝙨𝙩𝙖𝙮 𝙝𝙞𝙜𝙝, 𝙗𝙚𝙘𝙖𝙪𝙨𝙚 𝙬𝙝𝙤 𝙘𝙖𝙣 𝙨𝙩𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙛𝙚𝙚𝙡𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙩𝙝𝙞𝙨 𝙡𝙤𝙬 𝙖𝙡𝙡 𝙩𝙝𝙚 𝙩𝙞𝙢𝙚?”

“𝗜’𝗺 𝗴𝗹𝗮𝗱 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝗸𝗻𝗼𝘄 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝗰𝗮𝗻 𝗱𝗼 𝘁𝗵𝗶𝘀, 𝗝𝗮𝗸𝗲.”
“𝗬𝗼𝘂 𝘄𝗶𝗹𝗹 𝘁𝗼𝗼. 𝗪𝗲’𝗹𝗹 𝗯𝗲𝗮𝘁 𝘁𝗵𝗶𝘀.”
𝗔𝗻𝗱 𝗜 𝗯𝗲𝗹𝗶𝗲𝘃𝗲 𝗶𝘁 𝗻𝗼𝘄.
“𝗪𝗲’𝗹𝗹 𝗯𝗲 𝗼𝗸𝗮𝘆,” 𝗙𝗲𝗹𝗶𝘅 𝘀𝗮𝘆𝘀.

“𝘿𝙤 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙡𝙡𝙮 𝙩𝙝𝙞𝙣𝙠 𝙄’𝙙 𝙡𝙚𝙩 𝙩𝙝𝙚𝙢 𝙜𝙚𝙩 𝙖𝙬𝙖𝙮 𝙬𝙞𝙩𝙝 𝙩𝙝𝙖𝙩?”
“𝙔𝙤𝙪’𝙧𝙚 𝙢𝙮 𝙗𝙧𝙤𝙩𝙝𝙚𝙧, 𝙅𝙖𝙠𝙚. 𝙄’𝙡𝙡 𝙖𝙡𝙬𝙖𝙮𝙨 𝙥𝙧𝙤𝙩𝙚𝙘𝙩 𝙮𝙤𝙪.”

“𝗜 𝘄𝗮𝗻𝘁 𝘁𝗼 𝗺𝗮𝗸𝗲 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝗳𝗲𝗲𝗹 𝗮𝘀 𝗴𝗼𝗼𝗱 𝗮𝘀 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝗺𝗮𝗸𝗲 𝗺𝗲 𝗳𝗲𝗲𝗹. 𝗪𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝗰𝗮𝗻 𝗜 𝗱𝗼?”
“𝗦𝘁𝗮𝘆 𝗮𝗹𝗶𝘃𝗲.”

“𝙔𝙤𝙪 𝙢𝙖𝙠𝙚 𝙢𝙚 𝙛𝙚𝙚𝙡 𝙗𝙚𝙩𝙩𝙚𝙧 𝙩𝙝𝙖𝙣 𝙖𝙣𝙮 𝙙𝙧𝙪𝙜 𝙄’𝙫𝙚 𝙚𝙫𝙚𝙧 𝙩𝙖𝙠𝙚𝙣. 𝘼𝙣𝙙 𝙄’𝙫𝙚 𝙩𝙖𝙠𝙚𝙣 𝙖 𝙡𝙤𝙩 𝙤𝙛 𝙙𝙧𝙪𝙜𝙨, 𝙁𝙚𝙡𝙞𝙭.”

“𝗬𝗼𝘂 𝗳𝗼𝘂𝗻𝗱 𝗺𝗲,” 𝗜 𝘄𝗵𝗶𝗺𝗽𝗲𝗿. “𝗜 𝗳𝘂𝗰𝗸𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗽𝗿𝗼𝗺𝗶𝘀𝗲𝗱 𝘆𝗼𝘂’𝗱 𝗻𝗲𝘃𝗲𝗿 𝗳𝗶𝗻𝗱 𝗺𝗲 𝗹𝗶𝗸𝗲 𝘁𝗵𝗮𝘁 𝗮𝗴𝗮𝗶𝗻.”
“𝗔𝗻𝗱 𝗜 𝗽𝗿𝗼𝗺𝗶𝘀𝗲𝗱 𝗜’𝗱 𝗮𝗹𝘄𝗮𝘆𝘀 𝗯𝗲 𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗿𝗲 𝗳𝗼𝗿 𝘆𝗼𝘂, 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗜 𝘄𝗮𝘀𝗻’𝘁. 𝗦𝗼, 𝗹𝗲𝘁’𝘀 𝗴𝗶𝘃𝗲 𝗲𝗮𝗰𝗵 𝗼𝘁𝗵𝗲𝗿 𝗮 𝗯𝗿𝗲𝗮𝗸 𝗼𝗻 𝘁𝗵𝗶𝘀 𝗼𝗻𝗲. 𝗢𝗸𝗮𝘆?”

“𝙔𝙤𝙪’𝙧𝙚 𝙢𝙮 𝙛𝙪𝙘𝙠𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙨𝙤𝙪𝙡𝙢𝙖𝙩𝙚, 𝙁𝙚𝙡𝙞𝙭, 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙄 𝙙𝙤𝙣’𝙩 𝙚𝙫𝙚𝙣 𝙗𝙚𝙡𝙞𝙚𝙫𝙚 𝙞𝙣 𝙩𝙝𝙖𝙩 𝙨𝙝𝙞𝙩.”

“𝗬𝗼𝘂’𝗿𝗲 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗳𝗮𝗺𝗶𝗹𝘆 𝗜 𝗮𝗹𝘄𝗮𝘆𝘀 𝘄𝗮𝗻𝘁𝗲𝗱, 𝗝𝗮𝗸𝗲. 𝗔𝗻𝗱 𝗲𝘃𝗲𝗻 𝘁𝗵𝗼𝘂𝗴𝗵 𝘄𝗲 𝗻𝗲𝘃𝗲𝗿 𝗴𝗲𝘁 𝗺𝗮𝗿𝗿𝗶𝗲𝗱 𝗼𝗿 𝗴𝗲𝘁 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗱𝗼𝗴 𝗼𝗿 𝗵𝗮𝘃𝗲 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗸𝗶𝗱𝘀, 𝘆𝗼𝘂’𝘃𝗲 𝗴𝗶𝘃𝗲𝗻 𝗺𝗲 𝘀𝗼 𝗺𝘂𝗰𝗵. 𝗔𝗻𝗱 𝗜 𝗸𝗻𝗼𝘄 𝗜 𝗱𝗶𝗲𝗱 𝗵𝗮𝗽𝗽𝘆 𝗯𝗲𝗰𝗮𝘂𝘀𝗲 𝗼𝗳 𝘆𝗼𝘂. 𝗢𝘂𝗿 𝘁𝗿𝗮𝗴𝗲𝗱𝘆 𝘄𝗮𝘀 𝗿𝗲𝗮𝗹𝗹𝘆 𝗴𝗿𝗲𝗮𝘁, 𝘄𝗮𝘀𝗻’𝘁 𝗶𝘁?”
»--•--«
𝐏𝐫𝐞-𝐑𝐞𝐯𝐢𝐞𝐰 𝟏𝟐/𝟑𝟏/𝟐𝟑
I want something angsty that'll take my heart and tear it up into a million little tiny pieces and this book might do it.

Jake and Felix break my heart please 🤗

[Cyndi (hiatus) · Rating 2 out of 5]

This was…not what I expected. I’ll admit, I unfairly judge all romances involving drug/alcohol addiction against Counting Daisies, which is a hard act to follow in my opinion. And of all the plot devices used in romance, addiction is the one that makes me feel the most uncomfortable. I don’t mean books written with characters who struggle with addiction. I mean books like this, where addiction is the primary focus of the narrative. It reminds me of the manic pixie dream girl movies from the 90’s, where mental health disorders were romanticized. There’s representation and then there’s exploitation. To me, this book veered closer to the exploitative side of things.

I’ll start with the sponsor/sponsee meet cute. This is the “forbidden” aspect of the story. Those quotation marks are there for a reason. It’s not forbidden. It’s frowned upon. It’s a horrible idea. It’s potentially harmful. It can be seen as an abuse of power. But it’s not forbidden. My biggest problem with it in this book was that Felix was attracted to Jake BEFORE he offered to sponsor him. Hello, what now? I’ve read other books where the close knit relationship between a sponsor and sponsee led to attraction/romantic feelings, but straight out of the gate and you still asked to sponsor him? If you’re trying to get in the guys pants, just try to get in his pants. Don’t take an active role in his sobriety. I kept trying to wrap my head around this self imposed “forbidden” dynamic between them and eventually gave up. Also, Felix only had a little over a year of sobriety under his belt. Jake had been sober for 7 years before he relapsed. So not only was the sponser/sponsee situation unnecessary, it made zero sense. The problem could have been as simple as two people with a history of addiction potentially being bad for each other but trying to make it work anyway.

Now for the story. This should have been called A Series of Unfortunate Events (Addiction Version). It wasn’t a story about two people dealing with their addictions as they made their way through every day life. This was a story about two people on an obstacle course towards an inevitable finish line. I’m unsure of the timeline, but I’m pretty sure most of this book took place within one week, during which Jake and Felix take multiple hits that challenge their sobriety. I mean, one thing after another. It was so contrived that I could almost picture the bullet points on the author’s outline. I loved the moments when Jake and Felix were alone together without all of the external drama. The dialogue and text messages between them were the highlights of this entire book. They were cute and funny and snarky. Felix was adorable and made Jake palatable enough for me to root for the two of them. Unfortunately, everything else felt forced and predictable.

I had some other niggles too. First, Jake’s military background served no purpose and made me wonder if a person with a history of substance abuse would even be eligible to serve. A quick Google search told me it was possible, but not probable, especially since Jake had been to rehab. Second, I don’t think a police officer has enough clout to get a person’s phone number switched to a new phone without that person being there. I could be wrong, but I hope I’m not because that would be pretty messed up. Third, this may be a standalone novel, but it is very much a part of this author’s Alabama Summer series. It was obvious that most of the side characters had their own books and their scenes gave me that feeling of not understanding the punchline to an inside joke because I wasn’t there. Fourth, yay for miscarriage and overdosing as plot devices. Yes, that’s sarcasm.

Here’s what sucks - I wanted to like this book so much because I truly loved Felix and wanted him to be happy and healthy and loved and cuddled. This was one of those reading situations where I connected to the characters (even though I never truly warmed to Jake), but not their story. I did think there was a lot of course correction at the end, which made me feel better about the book as a whole, but there was too much I’d have to overlook to feel anything other than okay about it. Even though I enjoyed the writing style and the dialogue, I think I’ll pass if this author decides to write another MM romance in the future.

[BookSafety Reviews · Rating 4 out of 5]

Book safety, content warnings, and tropes down below.

“Everything is stacked against us,” I say. “We’d be a tragedy, Felix. This wouldn’t work.” His smile is confusing. “You don’t agree?” I ask, and how fucked up is it that I actually hope he doesn’t. “No. I agree.” He steps closer and presses one (last) kiss to my mouth. “I just know that wouldn’t stop me.”

I’m actually not quite sure how to feel. On one hand it’s a beautifully tragic love story with amazing writing and complex characters, and on the other hand one of the characters did something that really colored him negatively in my eyes (see book safety info if you wanna know). The book made me cry, laugh, smile, swoon and clutch my metaphorical pearls (mostly the narrator Tristan Josiah’s fault lol). So obviously a great book, but I need some more distance from it before I can love it fully.

It’s a painfully real book that doesn’t shy away from any part of addiction, and I’m glad it wasn’t romanticized in any way. That of course makes it difficult to read, and having had a family member who fought so hard to beat this cruel addiction but ultimately didn’t make it, it hit pretty hard. I’m so glad Jake and Felix got their happy ending though. They needed it and deserved it in equal measure.

“You better fucking kiss me, you dumbass bitch. You’re one of the only good things I have left!”
A laugh bursts out of his mouth. “Dumbass bitch? What the fuck.”
“I stand by what I said.”
“Fine.”
“Fine.” Jake inches toward me.
“Well? Pucker up, motherfucker.”

I don’t think Jake is a bad person, but he made a choice (most likely) that I can’t understand on a personal level, so that makes it difficult. However, he too deserved a beautiful HEA with Felix. And then there’s Felix. An absolute ray of sunshine. He was utterly charming. He’s also insecure and needs lots of reassurance, but what a kind soul.

And finally (so I don’t go on forever and ever), I appreciated that these characters had wildly different chilhoods and backgrounds. Addiction is a cruel bitch and doesn’t care where you come from.

And actually finally, there was plenty of lighthearted and funny moments, which was nice.
✨ balance ✨

“Hi, Jake!” He’s bright-eyed and his usual shade of pale, and so damn excited to see me. He always is. He’s like coming home to a golden retriever.

Might be harsh, but 3.5 stars because of Jake being a heartless idiot. The rest was great.

⬇️ Blanket spoiler warning ⬇️

⚠️ Tropes & tags ⚠️
Former marine
Drug addict MCs
Strangers to friends to lovers
Tattooed tattoo artist
Grumpy/sunshine
Hurt/comfort
Lots of snacks and baking
Opposites attract

⚠️ Content warning ⚠️
•Drug overdose with subsequent hospitalization (on page)
•Violent outburst in anger - hitting inanimate objects
•Heavy themes of addiction (drugs and alcohol)
•Detailed moments of cravings on page
•On-page relapse after 7 years sobriety (pills)
•Three instances of relapse during book (both MCs)
•Suicidal ideation
•Brief mention of past overdose
•Mentions of past underage drinking and drug use
•Important side character has a miscarriage (present time, off page, some details)
•Withdrawal symptoms
•Brief mentions of military deployment
•Smoking cigarettes
•Fatshaming comments, homophobic comments, racist comments, homophobic slur - all from MC’s coworker
•Brief mention of parent dying from cancer (past, off page)
•Child neglect (past, details)
•Child endangerment - giving drugs and alcohol to child (past, details)
•Body image issues
•Brief mention of past physical abuse (MC’s parent)
•Parent jeopardizes MC’s sobriety on purpose (leads to relapse)
•Addict parent
•Drugs taken during the book (off page but detailed aftermath and cravings): OxyContin, cocaine, non-specified pills, heroin
•Episode of heavy drinking (off page, aftermath shown, coincides with overdose)
•MC is cheated on by ex girlfriend (off page)
•Explicit sexual content
•Unsafe sex
•Penetration without lube or prep
•Violent altercation between MC and brother (punch)
•Violence (fistfights)
•Dishonorable discharge
•MC attends rehab (off page)
•Unnamed character masturbates in public bathroom, sexually harassing Felix specifically

*no drug is taken on page, but the moments right before and after are detailed.

⚠️Book safety ⚠️
Cheating: No
Other person drama: Not drama, but: the timeline is vague and we aren’t given any details, but Jake sleeps with a woman after meeting Felix (off page). I believe this happens after Jake and Felix have their first hookup (kissing and mutual masturbation), but before they officially become boyfriends. Also, MC is broken up with by cheating girlfriend at the start of the book.
Breakup: No, but they are separated geographically for over a year (off page).
POV: 1st person, dual
Genre: Contemporary romance
Pairing: M/M
Strict roles or versatile: Versatile, no switching on page
Main characters’ age: 23 and 28
Series: Standalone
Kindle Unlimited: In the process of being removed from KU
Pages: 405


I follow his gaze and look down at the apron I’m wearing. It’s adorned with flowers. I’m certain it’s Riley’s. “I’ve fully embraced this, and I regret nothing. So, go fuck yourself.”

There’s a small chance I’ve really thought about our future together. In my defense, I didn’t pick out the names of our children until after I had Jake’s tongue in my mouth and I knew he was into me. So, it’s not that weird.

“Why do I always get a headache when we’re together?” “I don’t know. It’s probably unrelated.”

I brush my fingers against his. “I’m sick of rules, Felix. It sucks trying to stay sober when you can’t even fuck who you want to fuck.” “More romance please. I’m not an object.”



You can find most of my reviews on Instagram as well: https://www.instagram.com/booksafety?...

[Sarah/DragonflyReads · Rating 5 out of 5]

I don’t know how it gets better every single time I reread it

Felix is the best friend you never knew you needed in your life. Jake is the grumpy guy you need to watch succeed. Together their story is filled with amazing highs and tragic lows.

J. Daniels highly anticipated return is nothing short of tragically wonderful.

[moretomary · Rating 4 out of 5]

Roller coaster shit and I loved it 😭

[Whitney · Rating 5 out of 5]

4.5⭐️
Felix + Jake 🖤
Sponsor and Sponsee | Addiction | Banter

Felix made the entire book for me. I just loved him.
And if given the chance I'd stab his dad.

....

“We’d be so good together. I just know we would.”
“Everything is stacked against us,” I say. “We’d be a tragedy, Felix. This wouldn’t work.” His smile is confusing. “You don’t agree?” I ask, and how fucked up is it that I actually hope he doesn’t. “No. I agree.” He steps closer and presses one (last) kiss to my mouth. “I just know that wouldn’t stop me.”


"Saving my selfies to a separate album. Sending me old school heart emojis. You know, basically just wrecking me."


“You better fucking kiss me, you dumbass bitch. You’re one of the only good things I have left!”
Jake inches toward me. “Well? Pucker up, motherfucker.”


"You make me feel better than any drug I've ever taken."


"Holy shit. You love me, Jake. ... I always wondered what this would feel like."

....


⚠️ potential spoilers below in detailed tropes and trigger warnings



Tropes:
Strangers to lovers
Sponsor and sponsee
Addicts
Tons of banter
Public bathroom bjs
Versatile roles
Dark humor
First times
Found family
Hurt comfort
Hard fought HEA
Shower sex
Soulmates
"You're my sponser, we can't do this"
One sends selfies and the other has a folder in his phone dedicated to those selfies


TWs:
Addiction
Drug use
Relapses
Overdose on page
Hospital stay
Abuse
Death
Miscarriage
Dishonorable discharge from military
Mentions of cheating
A giant piece of shit that is Felix's dad

[Jo⁷ · Rating 4 out of 5]

Almost got me with the grave scene!!!! ☠️

RTC ❤️

[Papie · Rating 4 out of 5]

Wow. I loved Jake and Felix so much. I laughed, I cried, I laughed, I cried, and I did it all over again. In between all that laughing and crying, I was also incredibly turned on.

It’s a heavy topic, but the writing is light, funny, hopeful. I wanted to scream at these two idiots in love and their magical thinking. And their absolutely terrible ideas, like keeping Felix as Jake’s sponsor. But I also cried my heart out with them. I’m smiling through my tears at their happy ending.

[Miriam still reading! HIATUS from GR]

dnf 26% no chemistry

[Dani · Rating 5 out of 5]

Loved this so much. Felix and Jake made my heart hurt.

[KnittingMamaBear-Reads · Rating 4 out of 5]

This gave me massive anxiety.
Mainly because Felix seemed like an absolute disaster.

My god this was an intense read. I loved Jake. So much. He was an absolutely multi grained character, so well fleshed out. Felix, on the other hand. I mean, I got the zoomies just reading about him through Jake's POV. Felix's own POV triggered my own neurospicy response. Wow, he was a LOT to take in.

I was so worried, this is a seriously angsty read guys. Add in their heavy issues with addiction and the gorgeous writing and very 🌶️ sexy times, and you have yourself a great angsty romance on your hands.

Highly recommend if you like your happily ever Afters hard earned and well deserved.

[Christy · Rating 3 out of 5]

3 stars

I love emotional books, but this one was heavy in a way that didn’t quite work for me. I had no idea that this took place in a previous J. Daniel’s ‘world’ so that was a nice surprise. Major trigger warnings for addiction/overdose as well as miscarriage both things are difficult for me to read about. Also there was some weird bathroom scene at the end that just didn’t fit imo. I was hoping to love this one, but it was very middle of the road for me.

Audio book source: Audible
Story Rating: 3 stars
Narrators: Iggy Toma & Tristan Josiah
Narration Rating: 4 stars
Genre: Romance
Length: 10h 32m

[TrippyBooks · Rating 4 out of 5]

Starts strong but lags a bit in the middle while i waited for the angst the cover promised me. It delivered in the end i think the books theme song should be “hold on” by chord overstreet

Overall a really sweet book dealing with overcoming addiction. I think it was handled well in this book

I found Felix quite annoying sometimes when he constantly rambles on & on i just wanted him to shutup sometimes lol

[Romysaa · Rating 3 out of 5]

2.75⭐

“Exist, Felix.”
“What?”
“I just need you to exist. Stay here with me. That’s it. That’s all you have to do.”

I was betting on this one.
And I'm left disappointed.

It's my usal experience with the MM romances, and I still eat them up every time. Don't know why, but this time I was hoping for something different and this book was so hyped on the bl community. It was described as the most heart breaking emotional book. And now I'm feeling that I read a different one from what's everyone is talking about.

The first 20% was very cute,
I was giggling literally. It started so good that I dare to raise my expectations more. Bad decision, you could tell.

Like why a book considerd as emotional and heartbreaking with a discussing of a sensitive and important topic like addiction, have smut on the first quarter. I'm not a burden, I read books with spice, I gave a very spicy books high ratings. But I need to feel something for that, I need the relationship building to affect me.. to feel realistic for me. And this never happened here.

The title included “Tragedy”
Where? Where's the tragedy?! I really was looking forward to a soul wrecker story, not lustful thoughts and lots of fucking. I understand that at some point it was necessary.. like a escape for both of them. But I couldn't accept this dynamic and it prevented me from completely love the story.

I didn't hate it though, I was just looking for something different.. for a unique emotional read. And it didn't satisfy my craving sadly. Although I like Felix personality, the book overall had sweet moments I am not gonna lie, the found family part and the healing process. Not completely disappointed, but I was hoping for something better than what I got.

[ꪖꪶꫀ᥊ⅈડ ꪆৎ · Rating 5 out of 5]

SOBBING! I'm so glad this ended the way it did because I was about to spiral!! Their story was abosoutely beautiful, the wave of emotions I went through I'm going to need a minute oh my, I know the struggle of addiction in family and my God this was heartbreakingly beautiful!

[✨Lucy IntheSky☄️ · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.75⭐ for the overall story and rounding it down, because I wouldn't read it again.

This story has a bit of a romanticised view on addiction, a lot of developments weren't believable - or smart - and the very long 400 pages of nothing but drama kept me going because of Felix alone.

"You know what’s even better than getting high? Landing the guy you want. That is so fucking dope. They should talk about how great this is at meetings. Maybe this is what all addicts need to hear, because I guarantee no one will ever want to use or abuse drugs again once they find out about how good this feels."

Noone will ever want to abuse again if they'd land the person they wanted? Oh, man. Oh man oh man oh man.

The story is about two addicts (in recovery) and of course I wasn't expecting a magical happy ending, but they did get it and the road leading there should definitely be written in better detail, but as it was, the author kept building up the drama until 90% of the book and then separated the MMCs indefinitely. They got the most important things settled off-page in that last 10% of the book.

So no, I didn't like the storytelling as much - the writing is a bit different, quirky, sometimes funny, but it doesn't work long-term, at some point you'd expect everything to get a bit more serious, but even so, nothing here would work if the story hadn't had a very good side and main character who kept it going.

🟡 Two addicts in recovery
🟢 Age gap - 5 years (23/28)
🟣 Sponsor / sponsee
🔵 Found family
🟠 "Bisexual"/gay
❗ Addiction, relapse, drugs, alcohol, recovery, rehab, affect on family, traumatic childhood, toxic parents
🌶️ Little sex, some off-page, good; t/b, hinting at vers

As I said, this story had a fantastic main character - Felix. He is an addict in recovery that had a really sad and terrible childhood, he's a complex character with a lot of depth and he is one - if not the only - reason this story turned out somewhat good. If it wasn't for him, I definitely wouldn't read it. He's codependent, emotional, has a lower self-esteem and wants his own family, because he never had it.
Felix has my heart, I've never read about a character like him, he's unique and simply amazing.

“I always make way too much food,” he says, “I mean, I do eat a lot. And leftovers are nice. But if I ever get a family again someday, I’ll be ready, so maybe it’s not a bad thing that I do this.” ❤️



Felix meets Jake, an ex-soldier who's been dishonorably discharged from the Marines. He's been sober for 7 years but relapsed when his girlfriend left him. He comes to live with his brother, CJ, who's yet another reason for this story making it.
The dynamic between Jake and CJ was emotional, heavy and I was very invested in their relationship. CJ was a very good side character and really shoved Jake in the background somewhere, Jake was a complete asshole next to CJ - and he was, most of the time. Felix made him look better. Felix made Jake look like a catch when he was anything but.



Felix becomes Jake's sponsor and this was the first terrible decision made in the story. Felix is not only too young, he also looks like he's 1 step from another relapse himself, so definitely not stable enough to be a sponsor to Jake. I have no idea why the author chose that route, it was ridiculously not-believable and I can't imagine this happening in real life.

Felix actually liked Jake and apparently the only way to get to him was becoming his sponsor. Couldn't they have picked another guy? They could still hang out. They could still support each other. They could still get together. I don't see why Felix simply had to be in that role. It's too much pressure for someone who's struggling himself and it's too much fucking with both of their sobrieties, so it was a really bad idea. But apparently noone at those meetings had the courage to stop them.

🟡 So naturally Jake had a moral dilemma about hooking up with Felix, but there was another thing that bothered me here, much more than Felix being the sponsor - it was Jake's supposed bisexuality.
Jake has had only serious girlfriends and claimed to fool around with a guy when he was a Marine, but other than that, Jake seemed almost flustered when Felix was open about his sexuality, talking about dick, making jokes, so that jump from defending his straightness to wanting to pound Felix a couple of paragraphs later was interesting, to say the least. I think Jake was straight and then had a bi-awakening with Felix, that would be a lot more believable than him being bisexual already.

"How much pussy have you eaten?”
“Enough.”
A pause, and then, “Ew, Jake.”
He starts laughing a second before I do. “This is better,” I say through a smile.
“Okay.”



Jake knew Felix was into him, yet we don't get any specific details on Jake. Not only that - they were hanging out a lot, laying the foundation, they were flirting, they were quite intense together and for Felix everything seemed pretty serious, but then we find out that Jake actually hooked up with a girl at that time. Because he wanted to fuck someone that wasn't his ex, the idiot. So... Huh?

I mean, I don't mind them hooking up with other people, come on, but isn't it weird how the story is hyping me up to get into them being together and how special it is and then this guy goes and literally breaks Felix's heart a little bit by telling him this when they were already together? I felt like Felix was starving to be loved so much that he overlooked a lot of things in Jake. He was willing to forgive a lot and that bothered me, because Felix was completely alone vulnerable and has decided that Jake was his person, so if Jake were to do any kind of dumb, terrible shit, Felix would definitely understand and forgive it. And that's not a good thing, at all.

When Jake overdoses and finally gets to rehab, they part their ways and we're at the very end of the book. Which was a weird decision because this was a major thing - them going their separate ways , so Jake's rehab, Felix being alone, them meeting up during all that time, still being together - everything was left out.


The story didn't move me, I think it could be better with a more serious note and more things brought to conclusion.
The storytelling wasn't good - at least in my opinion, it was all over the place and the book didn't have a satisfactory finish. Too many things were happening off-page and for such a lengthy book, it really needed to have complete emphasis on Jake and Felix alone and really bring their story home, show us how hard they worked for it and how they made it, how they're living together both sober, how they're working, creating a family, making friends?
None of that was written down. That beautiful part of them talking about getting married and they did do it, yeah, but again off-page.

So no, I didn't particularly like it.

[Aricka Decker · Rating 5 out of 5]

"Today, I am eight hundred and twenty-seven days sober. My name is Jake Tully and I’m an addict. And I’ll always be an addict. I’ll never beat this. But I’ll keep going to meetings, and I’ll talk to my sponsor (who I’m going to ask to marry me), and I’ll fight this until I win. We are going to win."

Fuck fuck fuck me. I am still over here crying. I don't know what it is about books where people are struggling with addiction or fighting demons and have messed up childhoods but I'm always a fucking mess after them, and this book hit me right in the fucking heart. Felix and Jake are everything. And this is a more lighthearted read dealing with this topic, not saying it was serious or emotional because it was or I wouldn't be sobbing like an idiot, but it had a lot of humor to it which I really enjoyed. Felix was such a chaotic boy, who just wants to be loved and over thinks stuff, and thinks of a lot of shit and is selfconscious and fuck I loved him. He was so just a mess and a ball of sunshine you cant help but love the dude. Jake was fucked up, and a grumpy boy who just was so happy with Felix, you couldn't help but love him either. Seeing Jake and Felix deal with their substance addiction and falling in love even when they don't think they should was such a ride. I was rooting for them the entire time but also worrying about how this could affect their sobriety and their relationship. CJ, Riley, Miguel and Hector were also great side characters. CJ and Riley brought some really emotional and heartbreaking and heartwarming moments with the boys, especially Jake and Miguel and Hector were so fucking loveable and funny. God. This book had me laughing out loud and crying into my pillow and I cant ask for more because that's everything I love in a good romance. I'm proud of those boys. Jake + Felix Tully <3

[⋆˖⁺‧₊☽ cal · Rating 1 out of 5]

I was so fucking bored and disinterested. This book is obviously not for me. I was zoning out most of the time. Me not swooning is like the biggest turn off. I need books that will gag me.

[Ashley · Rating 4 out of 5]

3.5⭐

I fear I am in the minority here but I just didn't connect with this like I was hoping sadly.

Jake and Felix were super freaking cute and I did enjoy parts in this book and giggle a little, but I felt like the writing was a tad juvenile and I just couldn't get passed it. Also, books with addiction can be VERY hard for me to read because of personal reasons so I was definitely worried going into this. There were parts that could've been very emotional for me but I just couldn't fully connect for some reason.

I will also say CJ pissed me the heck off so much. Like, come onnnnn

Fav line - "I just need you to exist. Stay here with me. That's it. That's all you have to do."

[Kirsten · Rating 1 out of 5]

What’s funnier than
addiction? I can’t even—
Childish, sexist, dumb.

[Nordika Night · Rating 5 out of 5]

I fell in love with these boys 🩵

I was gripped from the first page and absolutely fell hard for both Felix and Jake. Their story was beautiful and painful and incredible and I could not love them any more than I do.

From the depth of an addict’s though process to their personalities that shined, even through their disease, everything about these two felt right. I have a new love for donuts and snacks and boys with insecurities and curly hair.

5⭐️ 2 🌶️ - highly recommend

[shelby ⋆౨ৎ˚⟡˖ ࣪ · Rating 4 out of 5]

୧ ‧₊˚ 4 ⭐️
*possible spoilers ahead* 💌

no thoughts just tears cause these two ripped my heart out..
”Jake wants me. He wants me just as much as I want him. We can't be anything, but I think he wishes we could. I know I do.”


”You make me feel better than any drug I've ever taken.”
( stop 😭😭 )

. . . . .

[Elle · Rating 2 out of 5]

I didn't like the writing style (like AT ALL 😭), the characters (mostly Jake), the insta love, the (not so) "forbidden" trope, the smut, the restroom fight, the ending...
I guess it was not a book for me. 😅

[Shelba · Rating 1 out of 5]

DNF @ 4%.

The writing comes off very juvenile. I just don’t really expect the heavy themes of this book to be handled well when this reads like some dude-bro comedy.

[JonathanSamuelReads · Rating 3 out of 5]

The real tragedy was the lack of lube. I’ll review this later

[melancholy_reader · Rating 5 out of 5]

“You make me feel better than any drug I’ve ever taken.”

———-

“I want to matter to someone every day forever. And I want that someone to be Jake.”


I need to recover. 🙂‍↕️

I cried, and cried, and-guess what ? CRIED AGAIN. I’m not ready to leave Jake and Felix yet, because leaving them behind is the real TRAGEDY. They broke my heart and filled it with so much love it hurts. 🤜😭

You have to read this book. There is nothing else to say except that it is something ✨✨WONDERFUL✨✨.

[Vanessa Booked Up · Rating 5 out of 5]

5++ Stars!

Excellent!

More to follow...