Tangled Threads: A Hmong Girl's Story

by Pegi Deitz Shea

For the Hmong people living in overcrowded refugee camps in Thailand, America is a the land of peace and plenty. In 1995, ten years after their arrival at the camp, thirteen-year-old Mai Yang and her grandmother are about to experience that dream. In America, they will be reunited with their only remaining relatives, Mai’s uncle and his family. They will discover the privileges of their new medical care, abundant food, and an apartment all their own. But Mai will also feel the pressures of life as a teenager. Her cousins, now known as Heather and Lisa, try to help Mai look less like a refugee, but following them means disobeying Grandma and Uncle. From showers and smoke alarms to shopping, dating, and her family’s new religion, Mai finds life in America complicated and confusing. Ultimately, she will have to reconcile the old ways with the new, and decide for herself the kind of woman she wants to be. This archetypal immigrant story introduces readers to the fascinating Hmong culture and offers a unique outsider’s perspective on our own.

Genres: Young Adult, Cultural, Historical Fiction, Fiction, Asia, Historical, Family

240 pages, Hardcover

First published January 1, 2003

Reviews

[Jenn · Rating 3 out of 5]

Technically this book was in the children's room, not the YA room, but I'd still call it a YA book for my own purposes. I'm marking this review for spoilers, even though I don't give away any major plot points, because I do go into detail about a particular set of scenes.

I once read a book when I was 13 or so about a southeast Asian refugee girl (I can't remember any more about it) and have met many Cambodians & Laotians since then, and so this book really grabbed my attention.

I started reading this, and it was dark, dark, dark. Not super-graphic, I think an 11 year old could (and should) read this book, but still very sad. Maybe sadder for me as an adult, who has an idea of the trajectory of many first generation immigrants, than it would be for me as an 11 or 12 year old. The main character, Mai, is very believable, both as a young girl and as a refugee. I was particularly impressed at how the author managed to convey the sense of how alien America was to Mai, and how the young are able to adapt. The story of Mai's grandmother, while very sad, was not surprising either.

I'm torn about this book - it ends on a high note, which I think is kind of important for both an immigrant story aimed at kids & as an ending to Mai's book. Without the hope at the end, the rest of the book would be just too bleak. I would definitely recommend this book to people who live in culturally diverse areas, and people who DON'T live in culturally diverse areas. I would recommend this for kids - but with the caveat that their parents read it first.

I think there are some themes in here, specifically rape that occurs in the refugee camps, that would require careful parental discussion, depending on the kid. I think that there are some kids who would read those parts and never really understand what happened to the girls, and that there are some kids who would latch on to the mindset of the Hmong that is described - that the rape victims are dirtied by the attack, even though the blame is not directly laid on the girls by the author or even explicitly by other Hmong characters in the book. I think that's my biggest caveat to the book. I don't think that those parts should have been left out, I think glossing them over would have done a big disservice to both the smaller picture and larger picture of the Hmong refugee story, but it is a plot point that needs to be handled with care. The author Pegi Dietz Shea did an excellent job in writing those scenes, balancing the matter-of-fact tone of an event that is regretfully common with the quiet shame and fear of the victims. I know I'm harping on this section, but I worry that this is something that would make a lot of people not want their kids to read this book, and I think that this book has a lot to offer.

[Cheryl · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was a fascinating read. The story of a Hmong girl (a mountain tribe that had many men help the Americans during the Vietnamese war) who comes from a refugee camp in Thailand to Providence RI, and tries to assimilate to a vastly different culture. Her voice was strong, and details of her traditional life were fascinating. Many contrast are provided, with her grandmother resistant to new ways, her Americanized cousins fighting old ways, and her uncle embracing some of the new while holding on to some traditions. Very nicely written, and I especially enjoyed the references to Providence, where I live. I worked with some Hmong children at Roger Williams middle school back in the 80's. A storyteller and I had then write and illustrate family stories, and many of them heard for the first time how their family's had escaped Laos and made it to America.

[Emily · Rating 4 out of 5]

Good book. Interesting story, but I would LOVE for there to be a sequel so that I could learn how Heather's, Lisa's and Mai's lives turned out. The story just seemed incomplete at the end.

[Jaclyn · Rating 5 out of 5]

Oh my gosh I loved this book. LOVED IT!!!!!!! I cried too. but it was an AMAZING book.

[Samantha · Rating 5 out of 5]

I had a hard time putting this book down, as the narrator Mai had a way of making everything interesting. It could be hard to read at times, as this story deals with the reality many refugees face--and was based on a specific group during a specific time period. Most of the hardships are simply normal life to Mai, both because of how long she's been a refuge, and because of her culture, but it doesn't make them any less harsh.

I also loved seeing Mai learning about her new world, of coming to America. She was so eager to learn, and it made even the most mundane things exciting. I think the book did a good job at balancing her innocence of America with the harshness of her former life, as well as her culture with the culture of America. You have the extremes of her grandmother not wanting anything to do with America and of her cousin not wanting anything to do with being Hmong, and then Mai in the middle, trying to keep the balance of both.

That's another thing I really enjoyed about this book, is that it never states Hmong religious beliefs are wrong or that Christianity is wrong. While Mai is obviously more concerned about the beliefs she grew up with, she isn't afraid to learn about other things.

The grandmother could be a little frustrating at times, as it's obvious early on that she's not even trying to fit into America, but it's also easy to understand her side. Like everything else in this book, I think there's a good sense of balance, as Mai tries to figure out her own feelings towards her grandmother now that everything has changed.

I could say more at this book, but I think the above sentence sums up everything I have to say--that this book is excellent at balancing everything. It talks of dark things, but also shows the good things that can come out of being a refuge and starting a new life; it shows respect for Hmong beliefs while touching on some of the negative aspects, as well as showing modern technology can be used alongside beliefs. Mai's story isn't just about her being a refuge, but about her trying to find who she is in her new life. Her voice draws you into the story, and I could hardly put it down.

With the grandma and the cousin Heather, both could be very annoying/frustrating at times, but their actions made sense by the end. Not saying they couldn't have been written a little better (especially Heather), but I was more okay with them by the end.

Overall, this was a great book, and while I'm sure it has some inaccuracies, being fiction and all, it was a good reminder of what people have gone through in the past, and what many continue to go through today. I think this will be a story that sticks with me.






SPOILERS BELOW!!!









I just had to touch on Mai's cousins. Mai is brand new to America, and the first thing her cousins do with her is lie to their parents what they're doing, hang out with their secret boyfriends, and drive around drinking and smoking while underage. Only AFTERWARDS do they tell Mai the drinking was illegal, and that it all has to remain a secret. So, she essentially spends the evening as a fifth wheel with people who know she doesn't understand anything. While I understood the secret boyfriend thing, that was NOT an okay situation to put a person new to America in.

Also, it really annoyed me how rude Heather was to most refuges. I understand her anger at her parents, but she seems to place this anger on anyone who looks/acts like a refuge. It's NEVER okay to bully someone, and especially when you were once in that exact situation.

[Kiersten King · Rating 3 out of 5]

Please read if you are wondering if your kids should read it!

I really did like this book, but I was a bit shocked when I first started reading it, as it was mistakenly place in the children's section of the library I work at. After reading it, it was promptly put in the young adult section. For those of you wondering if it is appropriate for your children to read, I say it is up to you, but you should definitely read it first to decide for yourself. I do not presently have kids, but if I did, I would not let them read it until at least late middle school if not older. We would also be having a discussion on all of it afterwards. Read on if you would like to know why I have that take on it.

Spoilers in the next paragraph.

I would say this book is really for older readers. In the beginning, it has references to rape and brutality. It later has an attempted rape that just barely gets stopped before any penetration takes place. It speaks about one character being in a gang and using drugs. Frequently throughout the book it has teens smoking and talk of marrying off the children while still underage as well as teen pregnancy. By the end of the book, the 16 year old girl has run away with her boyfriend and the other girl, who if I remember correctly is 15, has been married off by her parents to a 15/16 year old boy and quickly gets pregnant, which the main characters are all very excited about.

Spoilers over.

Once again, I won't tell you how to parent your children but I would really recommend you reading it before your kids do. It is a good book and the things in it definitely need to be talked about and recognized, but it might be pretty intense for some readers. I had to stop reading at times and take a few minutes before I could get back to it. There are also moments that I believe might be beneficial if there was a content or trigger warning at the beginning of the book, but I'm not sure how others feel about that.
All in all, take my review for what you will, but those are my thoughts. I hope that they are helpful for some of you!

[Courtney · Rating 4 out of 5]

3.75*
This was an interesting read about the life of a Hmong refugee and her grandmother who move to the states after the refugee camp they had been living in is shut down. This discusses the difficulties of not only coming of age, but also of coming of age in a place completely foreign and having to navigate the world not only for yourself, but for others as well. I learned a lot about the Hmong experience which I found very interesting as there are quite a few Hmong in the community I live in and I had a good friend in grade school whose family was Hmong. I didn't entirely get along with the writing style; it read a little like middle grade. However, I'm not the target audience and for who the target audience is, this was a good entry point to what the Hmong refugees had to and continue having to face.

[Cat · Rating 4 out of 5]

First time I had ever heard of the Hmong refugees when this book crossed my desk. Naturally, I had to read it to learn more. Harrowing and amazing story. Refugees have my total sympathy. It must have been a great cultural shock to be moved to the U.S. from a third world refugee camp. I have met many refugees through my work. The Somalians I met were experiencing the same this back in the late 90's, early 2000's. Sad. I am so glad to hear that the Hmong are doing well over here these days. They adapted very well.

[Mary Balderas · Rating 5 out of 5]

I ordered this book for my 7th grade daughter who I homeschool. Of course, I needed to read it first and I ended up finishing it in less than 24 hours. It’s a wonderful story that I just could not put down. There’s much to be said about cultures and traditions being lost as the younger generations become more Americanized. The sadness the grandma felt to see her granddaughters not taking interest could be felt in this story. My hope is that this book helps my own daughter to appreciate some of the traditions and old ways from her own family.

[Lynn]

Mai and her grandmother are in a refugee camp in Thailand. May dreams of coming to America where her Aunt, Uncle and cousins live. Once in America, everything is different. Mai is curious to learn everything while her grandmother is content to rely on Mai for everything. This is a heartwarming story that tugs at your heartstrings.

[Luckee Vang · Rating 3 out of 5]

this book in my opinion tells us about the difference from where you live and where you are, and that new things can be scary meanwhile old things can be forgotten easily. But the tradition lives on even if you are now in the new.

[Eva]

Mai is a great protagonist. She had mamaged to make every mundane aspect of life seem interesting. It was nice to get to know about the Hmong people and their culture and the troubles they faced during the Vietnamese War. It's a good tale on immigration and war.

[Prince · Rating 2 out of 5]

idk

[Aiko M · Rating 4 out of 5]

Tangled threads by: Pegi Deitz Shea is a story about change, feelings and the horrors of the Vietnam war.

Mai Yang has lived in a crowded refugee camp in Thailand for as long as she can remember. She lived in a tiny hut with her grandmother, avoiding soldiers, stitching story cloths, and waiting for the day they can leave for America. Finally they get the word that they can leave for providence to be with her uncle and cousins who had already left. Mai can't wait to do and have all the luxuries her cousins, see and pa cua have described in their letters. But then she discovers all the hard things they have to do before leaving. See and pa cua have become teens who changed their names to heather and Lisa and tease Mai about not knowing all these things in America. It seems as if everything she does is different than in Thailand and she has to figure them out on her own. In the camp she always relied on her grandma. But now her grandma relies on her to teach her everything. After heather and Lisa share a mind blowing secret with her she becomes more selfish towards her grandma that she never had felt before. Her new family is being shattered when she thought that it would be perfect after they came to America. Still drawn to her old Hmong life but also her new life in America, mai has to fit them together so everyone can be happy including herself.

This book fits in the genre of non fiction because it is the true story of Mai and her grandma going through the cruelty happening in their camp which is close to the city of ban vinai, Thailand. I really liked this book. It's a good book for people who like the tension of waiting to see what will happen next. My favorite part of the book is when Mai and her grandmother are trying the new foods and they don't know how to eat them the right way. Sometimes I got the feeling that I was Mai like when she got angry with her grandmother I knew what she feeling like. I couldn't stop reading it, it was so good. I found some contradictions to the characters like when Mai got angry with her grandmother for the first time and when heather and Lisa got kind of mean. I really like this book and I think you would too if you like reading about change, standing up for yourself and even funny moments.

[Reba · Rating 4 out of 5]

OK...one of the main reasons that I picked this up was because when Mai comes to America, she settles in Providence, RI. Since I grew up in Providence and had some Hmong friends, I figured it would be cool to read this. This book pulls no punches when it describes Mai and her life in the refugee camp. I think this is so valuable for students to read this and realize how blessed and lucky we are in the United States. But, being from Providence, I also pick up on the glaring inaccuracies. Like Mai's visit to the 2-level Emerald Square Mall (actually 3 levels) and the fountain in the middle (nope, not that this mall). I will of course keep reading, but hopefully there aren't many more mistakes like this.

Despite the small errors in describing locations, I think this is worth 4 stars. The cover almost makes it seem like it would be for younger readers. Before reading it, I would have assumed that it was more for middle school. However, after reading, I would definitely keep it at the high school level. It's not a difficult or hard read, but there is a lot of content including war, rape, drug use, teen marriage, polygamy, teen pregnancy, etc., that may be slightly more appropriate for older readers. Younger readers can still read this book and gain value from reading it, but it might help to discuss context, content and maybe pair it with other immigration stories.

[Margo Brooks · Rating 5 out of 5]

Tangled Threads: A Hmong Girl's Story by Pegi Deitz Shea is a juvenile novel that follows thirteen-year old Mai from the Thai refugee camp where she lived for ten years, to Providence, Rhode Island where she and her grandmother join her uncle and cousins who emigrated five years earlier. The novel depicts the joy and pitfalls and confusion of the immigrant experience. Mai is excited to leave the refugee camp, but her grandmother is reluctant about starting a new life in a foreign land where the Hmong traditions are difficult to keep intact. The thing that binds Mai and her grandmother in this new life is pa'ndau, traditional Hmung story cloths. Mai and her grandmother made these for sale in the refugee camps and continue to make them in America. Worked in reverse appliqué, cross stitch and surface embroidery techniques, these colorful cloths tell the story of their lives, including the death of Mai's parent's in a Laos bombing, and are used to make traditional clothing. The symbols on the cloth harken good luck and fortune and tie Mai to her past as she makes a new life in Rhode Island. Tangled Threads is a poignant story that will help children and adults better empathize with immigrants in their schools and community. Well worth reading.

[Peggy · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is a story of 13 year old Mai Yang who along with her grandmother finally comes to America after spending 10 years living In a tiny hut in a refugee camp in Thailand. As the story is told of the difficulties Mai Yang and her grandmother have trying to assimilate into American life, the story of Mai yang's younger years is revealed.The fear of yellow rain during the war, the loss of her patents, the possibility of assault and the years of learning English ways. Mai Yang met up with some evil people yet also some kind hearted caring people. This book awakened me to what these refugees went through before coming here. I never really thought about the length of time spent in the refugee camps.

It was also interesting to learn about the conflicts between the younger and older generations of Hmong when coming to the US. The young seem to learn the language so much faster and they are not as fearful. Therefore they almost reverse the cultural roles. I also learned a lot about the culture of these beautiful people.

I really enjoyed this book. Mai Yang wanted so to be a good girl, get a good education and stay away from gangs.

[Kelly · Rating 3 out of 5]

Mai is a twelve-year-old Hmong girl who has lived almost her entire life in a refugee camp in Thailand. She and her Grandma have been waiting five years to join their only remaining family in Providence, Rhode Island, and the time has finally come. When they arrive in the US, however, life is harder than Mai expects. She is surprised to learn that the cousins she remembers rarely practice any of the Hmong traditions, and her aunt and uncle have converted to Christianity but still hold onto many Hmong ideas, such as marrying their daughters off at a very young age. Meanwhile, Grandma becomes depressed in this new place that she doesn't understand, and Mai is forced to take care of her at every turn.

Tangled Threads tells the story of Mai's first year in the US, as she adapts to American culture while trying retaining some of the customs that are all that remain of her former life. The book is well written, and Mai's voice is strong. Readers unfamiliar with Hmong culture will learn a great deal from the story.

[Del · Rating 3 out of 5]

Well, the summary was very interesting, which was the main reason I picked up this book. Sadly, enough, I didn’t find it to be very outstanding, as the summary might’ve suggested.

It was another first-person book that I couldn’t quite connect to the main character with. Then again, I haven’t really experienced the same things that Mai has. Even so, I was incredibly unimpressed with the story as a whole.

The Grandmother’s death was… strange. I understand that everyone deals with death and grieves differently, but the writing didn’t really leave enough room for the reader to feel as though they should be sad. In fact, to me, I felt as though it was just another event that happened in the book, just a way to… bring it to a swift end.

And the end itself leaves room for more. Much more.

I liked the book – don’t get me wrong – but I have mixed feelings toward it. It’s not something I would reread any time soon, let’s put it that way.

[Salsabrarian]

*SPOILERS* Mai Yang and her grandmother have been living in a Thailand refugee camp for 10 years. Mai longs to be in America with her cousins and aunt and uncle. Finally word comes that Mai and her grandmother can join their family in Rhode Island. Their new life requires much adjustment from how to use appliances to how to act at school. Mai's cousins aren't as she remembered; they have American names now, lie, and talk back to their parents and hang out with their boyfriends on the sly. Mai wants to spend time with her cousins but is uncomfortable with their behavior. Grandmother fares worst of all, never leaving the apartment to meet other Hmong but spending time sewing her pa'ndau in front of the TV. But then Mai learns that she and grandmother could have left for America at the same time as her relatives. When Grandmother is dying of a heart attack she reveals the fear she had of leaving Laos, that she wouldn't have anything in America.

[Sasha Odermann-karr · Rating 4 out of 5]

Some of my fourth graders had begun to read this book, but stopped reading it because they said it was too hard. I thought it looked interesting, and being an ESL teacher, I wanted to see what it was like because the title drew me in.

I liked this book a lot. I read it over the weekend. I found it pretty believable and not overwhelmingly sad. The main character, Mai, seems like she could be a real person. The experiences she had are pretty typical of Hmong refugee girls around the late 80s-early 90s, possibly even later, too.

If I were younger, I think I probably would not have understood many of the references. As one other reviewer stated, it is best if a parent reads it first and then the child. I think it would be best for children who are about 12 and older, though, not 10 like my fourth graders, both because of the mature themes and the reading level.

[Aiyana · Rating 3 out of 5]

A well-written refugee story for young teens. Provides a good introduction to Hmong culture, and carefully expresses the brutality refugees suffered without going into too much detail for the age group. The main character's confusion and divided loyalties are very believable, as she learns that there are multiple sides to both stories and people.

"My parents had died when I was three... I remembered their smiles the way people remember the pictures of their loved ones, more than the loved ones themselves. That is quite a trick the mind plays, framing the loved ones silent, motionless, unable to feel pain, but still able to cause it." p 199

[Rae · Rating 4 out of 5]

Mai and her grandmother are living in a refugee camp in Thailand. Some of their Hmong family are already in the United States and Mai dreams of joining them. Things finally work out so that she and Grandma can go to Providence, Rhode Island and live with her cousins. I love how Mai describes all the new things she encounters, things that we definitely use without a second thought (appliances, school lunch, smoke alarms, bus rides, etc). And the author does a wonderful job of weaving the Hmong tradition into the American ones. This was a great read.

[Jane Sutcliffe · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is an impressive and well-written book about a Hmong girl's search for identity in a new culture. The author has done her homework and it shows. Mai's struggle to integrate her Hmong traditions into her new life in Providence, RI, is realistically yet sensitively handled. Highly recommended for anyone interested in the immigrant experiance, or in how our own culture might be seen through an immigrant 's eyes.

[Alicia · Rating 3 out of 5]

Mai has had to overcome many obstacles in her young life and flawlessly discusses them in her first-person narrative. Living in a refugee camp with her grandmother, their eventual move to America only begins a new set of struggles: to assimilate. Her biggest lessons lie in the ability to continue to learn American ways, but also keeping true to her strong Hmong roots.

[Andrea · Rating 3 out of 5]

An interesting book about a thirteen year old Hmong refugee and what she went through both in the camps and in trying to fit in and understand American society. Describes relationships with her cousins and Grandma well, but I found this on the children's lit shelves. Due to some content about rape, though not graphic, I would have to label it YA instead. Good read for twelve and up.

[Mare · Rating 3 out of 5]

Mai and her grandmother have lived for 10 years in a Thai refugee camp. Her parents were killed in Laos during the war. Grandma decides they should finally go to America where her only survuvung son moved to years before. This story covers her struggles to keep her hmong culture & way as well as gain new American ones.

[Stephanie A. · Rating 4 out of 5]

There is a large Hmong population where I live, so the title caught my eye, as I realized that for all that, I knew next to nothing about Hmong culture or ancestry by the time I graduated. This not only provided some background, but offered an eye-opening contrast between the newly-immigrated and the culturally-assimilated.

[Lorraine_dss · Rating 4 out of 5]

A great story of the struggle of welcoming a new culture while losing the beauty of the culture of origin. A deep saddness of being between worlds.

On another note disappointing that this was written by a person who was not a refugee but someone who got to know a refugees life and wrote about the story of another. Not their story.

[Leslie Bulion]

Bits of history I lived through but was not familiar with are woven seamlessly into this tenderly moving middle grade novel that chronicles the difficult transition of one Hmong girl from refugee camp in Thailand to Providence, RI.