A Guide to Recognizing Your Saints: A Memoir

by Dito Montiel

Orlandito "Dito" Montiel, son of Orlando, a Nicaraguan immigrant, and an Irish mother, grew wild in the streets of Astoria, Queens, pulling pranks for Greek and Italian gangsters and confessing at the church of the Immaculate Conception, gobbling hits of purple mescaline and Old English, sneaking into Times Square whore houses-"Kids from nowhere going nowhere." This is the quintessentially American story of a young man's hunger for experience, his dawning awareness of the bigger world across the bridge, and of the loyalties that bind him to a violent past and to the flawed and desperate saints that have guided Dito's father, Antonio "our insane warrior hero," Bob Semen, Frank the dog walker, Jimmy Mullen, Cherry Vanilla, Ginsberg and all the others, the drunks, coke-heads, junkies, the insaniacs like Santos Antonios who said, "Now Dito remember, in life you gotta be crazy."

Genres: Nonfiction, Memoir, Biography, Biography Memoir, Autobiography, Audiobook, New York

208 pages, Kindle Edition

First published August 9, 2002

About the author

Born in New York City, he came into the public eye after the breakup of his hardcore punk band Major Conflict. Later, Montiel would gain notoriety in 1989 when Geffen Records signed his newly formed outfit Gutterboy to a $1 million record deal – an unheard-of sum at the time. The band was dropped after its debut and was dubbed one of the most "successful" unsuccessful bands in rock history

Reviews

[Phoebe · Rating 5 out of 5]

After just finishing the book, I just have to spread the word about its sheer awesomeness! It just touched me. There were little bits in chapters or entire chapters as a whole that are just beautifully touching a chord, a chord of melancholy, of sadness, but of truth and beauty too – of life and what really is (or should be) important.

“And I understand now, maybe not completely, but more, that in times of overwhelming joy, immobile sadness, hysterical laughter, absolute fear, and sometimes just perfect quiet there is Life. Real Life. And it really is that simple. I take my gift now. I go live.”

It’s an autobiography, glimpses of episodes of Dito Montiel’s life – gritty, real, yet poetic and memorable. It’s about people, about friends and family, about life and death. It’s the story of ups and downs, of how meeting people affects your life – how people affect your life. And, especially, how you after years think back to all those people (friends, family, celebrities, and strangers) you’ve met and remember – just remember.

All that’s left to say I leave to Allen Ginsberg (as he told to Dito):
“Tayatha, Gate, Gate Paragate, Parasamgate Bodhi Svaha. […] Gone Gone Gone Real Gone Peace. Oh, you know Dito, Life. It’s good to be alive. On with the celebration!”

[Patricia · Rating 3 out of 5]

This didn’t have the most coherent narrative, but I kept reading for the sheer joy of the voice. Dito Montel’s misadventures in the 90s make for some engaging reading. It also includes pictures, and Dito isn’t too hard on the eyes. Note that the movie and the book have absolutely nothing in common.

[Kevin · Rating 4 out of 5]

Having recently finished this book I felt compelled to say a few words, express my views, or in other words, offer my thoughts on this memoir.

Dito Montiel has pieced together random thoughts and meandering poetic verse, in a collection of stories designed to reflect his life as he see's it. There is no sense of style, organization, or even a general flow to his writing. Contradiions abound, the reader is tossed from one setting to the next, from one time frame to another, but somehow it works. Dito Montiel seems to be searching for answers, the meaning of it all. Dito's book reminds the reader that life can be disorganized and filled with contradiction.

“The reason we all really do the things that we do isn't because of all the outside rewards. It's because of the inside ones.” - Dito

[Andrea Tomé · Rating 4 out of 5]

Man, does Dito Montiel have talent. Raw, wild, uniquely his talent. Brilliance with words. However, like Ginsberg, I must admit this book lacked cohesion— it felt scattered.

[Brandon Will · Rating 5 out of 5]

"I feel like I really messed up, but that's why I wrote all this craziness, anyway. I wrote it because people change and people leave, and new things come along." - Dito

Dito writes of his life as a thuggish-guy from Astoria who's band "Gutterboy" became (in their words) "the most successful unsuccessful band in history."

But what this is really about, the 'saints' referred to in the title, are all the freinds and would-be freinds he knew along the way who stood on the sidelines, but couldn't join in. A beautiful ode to fallen, forgotten, and missing friends

[Maureen · Rating 2 out of 5]

In fairness, I was listening to this on CD and not reading the book. But after the second (of 5) discs, he seemed to be repeating himself and his stories, so I gave up. Also, the last book on CD I listened to was "The Other Wes Moore," which was engaging, well-told, and read by the author - so the bar was set really high.

[Faith · Rating 2 out of 5]

It was ok -- I didn't hate it, but I don't really feel like I learned anything from it or was impacted by it in any way. He says outright that he's going for a disjointed, unedited feel with the book, and he certainly achieved that. It was like reading a stranger's moderately interesting blog.

[Steph Anne · Rating 4 out of 5]

Perhaps not perfectly written/structured, but I loved the humanity of this book.

[Patrick Dugan · Rating 2 out of 5]

Dito Montiel's autobiography attempts to be a modern day Kerouac novel. It has great moments, especially all of the stuff from his adolescent days in Astoria. (The chapter entitled "Clowns" is hysterical.)
This is a rare instance where the movie is actually better than the book.

[Lauren · Rating 3 out of 5]

I read the book after seeing the movie and was a bit disappointed. I think I liked the story of the movie better, as well as the fact that it was a continuous story. However, there were parts of the book that were absolutely superb and that make it worth reading.

[Lisamarie Chorowiec · Rating 5 out of 5]

I've read this book numerous times and have had to repurchase it several times because I lend it to people and they don't want to part with it. That's ok because it's one of those books that I think of as a forever book. So real and raw. It makes you feel.

[Jay · Rating 5 out of 5]

Much more significant if you grew up in a NYC bourough or want to understand what it is like - the audio of the book is also excellent

[Jose · Rating 2 out of 5]

It's basically about people who do nothing but party and fall ass backwards into money. And moral turpitude.

[Jamie Lonza · Rating 4 out of 5]

Loved reading this in high school. But the movie 😵‍💫😵 that’s a no from me.

[Labeeba Kay · Rating 4 out of 5]

I gave it an extra star because me and the author grew up in the same neighborhood and it’s nice to read about a time pre-gentrification. Shared memories with someone I never met.

[Lucas · Rating 4 out of 5]

I thought this book was really good. It's about a group of kids, mainly one, named Dito Montiel. It's basically an autobiography of his experiences growing up in my neighborhood, Astoria, Queens. I saw the movie and once I found out it was a book, had to read it. It was a lot different than the movie which I found mildly disappointing, but to hear about his experiences in the 80's all around the country. somewhere in his character i felt like there was something i could relate to, besides the fact he was from Astoria. I really enjoyed this book and recommend it to anyone looking to read an entertaining book about a regular guy from Quenns.

[Caitlin · Rating 1 out of 5]

The author was really annoying, there was no structure at all to the book, and after a while, it seems he forgot that he was writing about his "saints" and instead just starting writing random stories from his youth. Seems like he thought he was awesome as a kid, whereas most of us probably thought he was annoying and wished he would go away. It scares me that he's writing another book.

[Verna · Rating 3 out of 5]

I read this book because of seeing the movie. I liked the movie very much, but the book is quite different. For one thing, the movie is drawn from a very small part of the novel. I liked certain aspects of the book, but at times had a hard time understanding the language and what the author was trying to say. I guess you have to grow up in that kind of environment and know the culture.

[Yvette · Rating 5 out of 5]

Rough and tumble memoir about a kid runnin' the streets of Astoria, Queens and eventually singin' some songs, taking a few pix and becoming a friend of Bruce Weber and Allen Ginsberg. Only in New York? Yeah, really.

[Donna · Rating 4 out of 5]

Dito Montiel wrote a memoir that recalls his rock and roll start in the streets of New York. I found myself looking forward to finding out what kind of misadventure Dito would get into with every chapter.

[Erica]

I just started reading this after Michael finished it (and gave it good reviews). It draws you in right away.

[Jonathan · Rating 4 out of 5]

I liked it. Not necessarily the greatest writer in the world, but by the end, you know what's important to him, and you agree.

[Mikey · Rating 5 out of 5]

Yeah, his life was screwy. It don't mean I wish I didn't live it.

[Jaime · Rating 4 out of 5]

Mind blowing?

[Rob Feeley · Rating 3 out of 5]

after reading about ditto's lifestyle can kind of understand how scattered brained this book is.with that said i really enjoyed it.

[Cathy · Rating 4 out of 5]

B; Okay, interesting life, will have to check out the movie.

[Dustin Wells · Rating 3 out of 5]

self indulgent and kind of bragging but good. the movie is better.

[Allison · Rating 5 out of 5]

Went all-in on A Guide TYRS: saw the movie when it came to video around 2007 (loved it); finally got around to reading the memoir upon which it was based in 2024 (was charmed by certain elements but confused by the lack of a coherent narrative); immediately read the book a second time to put the pieces together (loved it); then immediately viewed the movie again – currently available for streaming on Prime (loved it).
Some reviewers say the movie is better than the book, but I don’t believe they should be compared. The movie impressively delivers an atmospheric sense of growing up in the Astoria neighborhood of Queens in the 1980s. Capturing not only the sights and sounds but the casual violence, racism, and misogyny of that setting makes for compelling, if disturbing, viewing. The straightforward story arc is that Dito Montiel (now an author of the eponymous memoir) comes home after 15 years away and processes a range of complex emotions that center around guilt. Dito’s perceptive/receptive nature is fundamental to both the book and movie.
Montiel explicitly credits Walt Whitman and Jack Kerouac, among others, for inspiration. The memoir is centered around a theme of gratitude – for specific people (saints) who saved him in his youth, for 26 moments of perfect clarity, and for New York itself. The movie does not at all address Montiel’s improbable rise to notoriety through modeling and New York’s hardcore music scene. His band, Gutterboy, debuted at Andy Warhol’s funeral. Among other formative experiences, he was photographed extensively by Bruce Weber and spent time with poet Allen Ginsburg. There is rampant substance abuse. The movie, while excellent, does not really tell the same story at all.

[Emily Kuchurivski · Rating 5 out of 5]

Dito gives us a glimpse of his beautifully chaotic life growing up in New York City, full of bizarre stories and oddly specific situations that no one would find themself in unless they’re the type of person secretly seeking to absorb every insane experience life has to offer. Somehow at the same time (or perhaps with the gift of hindsight), Dito seems to absorb as much (if not more) meaning and bigger-ness of it all. There is a deeply spiritual undertone that somehow weaves all the fragments together into something quite exquisite.


“And until now, and I mean today, while writing this, the connection between these 26 moments was never too clear. But I’m writing them, reliving all of them here on Vermont Avenue by pen, on paper, I feel 26 lives. 26 moments I have truly been alive, 26 moments I just knew where I was. 26 times I felt that clench in my teeth, that flow of life in the back of my jaw, that sensation that goes right up your spine, waters your eyes and ends up somewhere right behind your ears.

And I understand now, maybe not completely, but more, that in times of overwhelming joy, immobile sadness, hysterical laughter, absolute fear, and sometimes just perfect quiet there is Life. Real Life. And it really is that simple. So you go take your gift now. You go live.”

[Mark · Rating 1 out of 5]

Great movie. Saw it first and read book after. The movie was better than the book. The book felt like a knockoff Kerouac book about his band and his youthful escapades. There was none of that even close in the movie. Don’t recommend the book but do recommend the movie.