Objects of Our Desire: Exploring Our Intimate Connections with the Things Around Us

by Salman Akhtar

What makes something sexy? Why are some things regarded as sacred and others profane? Why do mourners face such difficulty in parting with their beloved's possessions? Why do we often feel distraught when we lose something, even when the object has little real value?

We spend our lives in a meaningful dialogue with things around us. Sometimes the conversation is loud, as in a collector's passion for coins or art. More often, the exchange is subtle and muted, even imperceptible. We are surrounded by things, and they affect our emotions and impact our thoughts. The arrival of a dozen flowers from a lover or a letter from a grandchild makes our day; an old photo album or an afghan knitted by a favorite aunt offers comfort when we are troubled.

From exploring what makes something "beautiful" to why we place such value on antiques and artifacts from the past, Objects of Our Desire offers insights, both deep and delightful, into the ways we invest things with meaning and the powerful roles they play in our lives.


Notice the inviting contours of that sofa, the glint of a knife's edge, the sparkle of a diamond ring. Feel the softness of the pashmina around that woman's milky shoulders. Look at the majesty of a large jet plane. Take in the somberness of a gravestone. Put on an old pair of shoes. Clutch a warm mug of freshly brewed coffee. Sit on a rocking chair. Feel the sumptuous leather seats of a new car.

We are surrounded by things. We are involved with them, indebted to them. We speak to things and things speak to us. To say that we are interdependent is banal. Let us be courageous. Let us admit it: we are lovers.
-FromObjects of Our Desire

Genres: Psychology, Psychoanalysis, Nonfiction

224 pages, Kindle Edition

First published January 1, 2005

About the author

Salman Akhtar is an Indian-American psychoanalyst practicing in the United States. He is an author and Professor of Psychiatry and Human Behavior at Jefferson Medical College in Philadelphia.

Reviews

[Sherrie · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book encourages you to think about why you feel the way you do about things...I mean objects...it opens the mind to self-examination & thoughtfulness.

[Ren Morton · Rating 4 out of 5]

I'm trying to make my move to minimalism I was trying to understand the context and history of my own attachment to things. Salmon Akhtar provides a very simple and concise theory about our relationship to objects- highlighting the emotional needs that things fill and also our conflicted knowledge that we ourselves will become a "thing."

"I collect, therefore I am"

"Americans are being suffocated by their things, yet the tendency to amass things has found its match in the "urge to purge."

[Steffie · Rating 3 out of 5]

Addressed in some detail why we collect, we people horde, the root of our sentimentality regarding passed down possessions. Well done, but somewhat self serving - I learned more about the Author than the subject at hand. Regardless, a book that addessed questions all of us have probably entertained.

[Rachel · Rating 2 out of 5]

Promising idea, badly executed. Simply hard to read.

[Ada · Rating 3 out of 5]

an easy read, goes well with sherry turkle's evocative objects

[Patricia Geller · Rating 4 out of 5]

Fascinating slim volume on the what we fine sexy and why, our fascination this things, etc. An Eccentric but enjoyable collection.