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How to Know If It's Time to Go: A 10-Step Reality Test for Your Marriage
A controversial look at whether a marriage can be saved—or if it's “time to go.”
For the millions caught in unhappy marriages, consumed by sadness, anger, and fear, the question haunts: “Should I divorce?” Now, in their insightful new book, a husband-and-wife team of marriage experts helps readers find the answer by taking them through ten steps to determine if their relationship has reached the breaking point.
While Drs. Birnbach and Hyman do not advocate divorce, they point out that the most desirable situation—a happy long-term marriage—may simply not be possible in some cases. The book also discusses how the lives of people who stay in chronically unhappy marriages compare with those who split up. Filled with poignant case studies, cutting-edge research, and a 100-question self-assessment to determine if it's “time to go,” this unique guide dispels the myths about divorce and enables readers to recognize if there is still hope . . . or if they (and their families) are better off apart.
For the millions caught in unhappy marriages, consumed by sadness, anger, and fear, the question haunts: “Should I divorce?” Now, in their insightful new book, a husband-and-wife team of marriage experts helps readers find the answer by taking them through ten steps to determine if their relationship has reached the breaking point.
While Drs. Birnbach and Hyman do not advocate divorce, they point out that the most desirable situation—a happy long-term marriage—may simply not be possible in some cases. The book also discusses how the lives of people who stay in chronically unhappy marriages compare with those who split up. Filled with poignant case studies, cutting-edge research, and a 100-question self-assessment to determine if it's “time to go,” this unique guide dispels the myths about divorce and enables readers to recognize if there is still hope . . . or if they (and their families) are better off apart.
- GenresRelationshipsSelf Help
224 pages, Paperback
First published January 1, 2010
36 people are currently reading
45 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 6 of 6 reviews
November 28, 2011
This book showed me that our relationship was indeed over. It was good to have confirmation rather than all the doubts. There are 9 items that need to be on track to have a good relationship and if you're lacking 3 or more that's a bad sign. We were lacking all 9. I really liked the relationship bill of rights and will keep that with me as I seek a new, healthy relationship. Fabulous book for those considering, going through, or regretting a divorce or bad breakup.
December 15, 2009
If your not aware I am like so many others. I have been married and divorced and married..........and now I have a mixed family. With that is always new lessons to learn on how to exist in these families with harmony. I feel quite lucky that my ex and I sat down and talked on how to have a friendly divorce. We knew we would always be our daughter's parents and would have to be part of each others lives after our divorce. And we have made it work out with little fuss.
So how did we get there? Well, first we wasted a long time. Staying married 15 years when our marriage was over in the first 5 years. I would have liked to have read "How to Know if it's Time to Go-A 10-Step Reality Test for Your Marriage". Now I know that we all wish to keep our marriage healthy. I wanted to do the very same thing. But instead wasted 10 years of mine and my ex's life. And drug our sweet daughter through those trying times. Sometimes we just have to face reality.
What I do like about this book is that it addresses your children's issues. Making it a fact that there needs to be healthy relationships between the separated parents and future families. So you need to deal with how a healthy divorce works compared to an unhealthy marriage. (I know having been there.) And helping your child or children with school, family, friends, self esteem and all the issues that come up. I feel quiet lucky that we took a logical look at our future. Now having been divorced over 7 years we can still visit each other with our College Girl. And even better yet, College Girl now has her (half) lil sister to share her life with. The two families often share meals, holidays and even for a short while a home together.
So how did we get there? Well, first we wasted a long time. Staying married 15 years when our marriage was over in the first 5 years. I would have liked to have read "How to Know if it's Time to Go-A 10-Step Reality Test for Your Marriage". Now I know that we all wish to keep our marriage healthy. I wanted to do the very same thing. But instead wasted 10 years of mine and my ex's life. And drug our sweet daughter through those trying times. Sometimes we just have to face reality.
What I do like about this book is that it addresses your children's issues. Making it a fact that there needs to be healthy relationships between the separated parents and future families. So you need to deal with how a healthy divorce works compared to an unhealthy marriage. (I know having been there.) And helping your child or children with school, family, friends, self esteem and all the issues that come up. I feel quiet lucky that we took a logical look at our future. Now having been divorced over 7 years we can still visit each other with our College Girl. And even better yet, College Girl now has her (half) lil sister to share her life with. The two families often share meals, holidays and even for a short while a home together.
September 9, 2022
LOVED!!!
Such insight offered as the decision is being made;
some decide to stay.
The crux of how critical the decision is ~~
what you can & absolutely cannot put up with.
How important financial becomes is the decision;
that companionship & loneliness are the big things, especially for men, that have to be lived with.
The list of 9 reasons people cite for "irreconcilable differences"
We're pretty compatible.
The book left me comforted & reassured!!
Such insight offered as the decision is being made;
some decide to stay.
The crux of how critical the decision is ~~
what you can & absolutely cannot put up with.
How important financial becomes is the decision;
that companionship & loneliness are the big things, especially for men, that have to be lived with.
The list of 9 reasons people cite for "irreconcilable differences"
We're pretty compatible.
The book left me comforted & reassured!!
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
February 20, 2023
I thought the research was pretty elementary. But I really enjoyed reading the personal stories. I liked the rawness of them.
May 20, 2023
Good to know
Book uses good documentation for this statements. Written for the average reader and is easy to understand. Good info on relevant info such as finances, effects on children and young adults, options for mediation versus courts, etc. Basic info that would be helpful.
Book uses good documentation for this statements. Written for the average reader and is easy to understand. Good info on relevant info such as finances, effects on children and young adults, options for mediation versus courts, etc. Basic info that would be helpful.
April 18, 2012
A lot of ideas to think about and question to find your own true answer.
Displaying 1 - 6 of 6 reviews