In Changing Course, the best-selling sequel to It Will Never Happen to Me, Claudia Black extends a helping hand to individuals working their way through the painful experience of being raised with addiction.
"How do you go from living according to the rules--Don't Talk, Don't Trust, Don't Feel--to a life where you are free to talk and trust and feel?" Black asks. "You do this through a process that teaches you to go to the source of those rules, to question them, and to create new rules of your own," she explains. Using charts, exercises, checklists, and real-life stories of adult children of alcoholics, Black carefully and expertly guides readers in healing from the fear, shame, and chaos of addiction.
Claudia Black, M.S.W., Ph.D. is a renowned addiction and trauma expert, author, and trainer internationally recognized for her pioneering and contemporary work with family systems and addictive disorders. Dr. Black's passion to help young adults overcome obstacles and strengthen families built the foundation of the Claudia Black Young Adult Center at The Meadows treatment center in Arizona. Not only is Dr. Black the clinical architect of this innovative treatment program, she is also a Senior Fellow at The Meadows. She is the author of sixteen books, most recently Unspoken Legacy and Intimate Treason.
This is a book that was recommended by a psychologist I saw for a while when I went through my divorce. This is the kind of self-help book that one needs to read every couple of years just to re-educate themselves with the various emotions one may feel regarding family, friends, etc. who have abandoned them, as well as understanding the issues from childhood that have affected that. Family history plays such a significant part in the present and it never leaves us, always affects us. This book is a must for understanding that.
Yessss! This was the book I was looking for (see past reviews for a couple that didn’t quite hit the mark for me personally). I was looking for something that addressed childhood wounds, but not only within the context of extreme abuse situations. I loved her descriptions of family roles, her inclusion of IFS concepts (such as protector parts) and the last chapters on spirituality.
Some favorite quotes:
“Forgiving is not forgetting. It’s remembering and letting go.”
“Siblings are the witnesses to each other’s shame. In each others presence, we mirror back the hurt, disappointment, fear, anger and shame of our early years. No wonder our contacts are superficial, that helps to avoid remembering our pain.”
“Intimacy is trusting another with who you are without the fear of rejection.”
“It is in the acceptance of all that was and is, that our spirits become whole.”
“We are not in control. I do not depend on others in order to accept myself. When people leave or abandon me, it is not a judgement of my worth.”
“God is always present in the heart. Look within.“
This book goes over how to start to break the cycles of abuse & start healing. Its a brutal look at the early steps, the hard realizations that hit you, & sitting with the fact that you might be loosing loved ones who are threatened by your healing.
Another one of my bibles. Claudia Black is an authority on healing from dysfunctional childhood drama. Whenever I feel triggered this is another one of my go-to books. If you want to really take responsibility for yourself and move on from a victimhood personna - I highly recommend Claudia Black to help you make sense of your inner demons and put them into true perspective. A++++
Depressing, monotonous ways to avoid healing -- if you believe in spiritual healing vs ruminating on every miserable detail of your history. Some may enjoy.. but I strongly disliked almost every aspect of it.