**SIGNED** THE ENDLESS SEARCH

by David Ray

In The Endless Search, poet David Ray creates a narrative that weaves its way through decades of for a father, for a home, for the approval and love he is so often denied. He tracks through a Dickensian childhood in bone-poor Oklahoma, shuffled from foster home to orphanage and back again by his hard-working but neglectful mother. During his adolescence, Ray is tormented and sexually abused by a wealthy and sadistic guardian, into whose care he was entrusted in hope for a future inheritance. He relates his experiences in a literary cult - the infamous Colony of Lowney Handy and Jim Jones - that employed the same violence often found in religious and paramilitary fringe groups. Ray unabashedly confesses to his career as a peeping Tom and opens his FBI dossier to his readers, surprised that agents followed him for years, suspecting him of "un-American" activities. In the end, David Ray demonstrates the possibility of overcoming staggering obstacles in one's journey toward personal fulfillment.

Hardcover

First published January 1, 2003

Reviews

[Tracey · Rating 3 out of 5]

The reaction, acceptance, thoughtless direction of this life is baffling. I can't understand the willingness to participate in the abuse. Stand up for yourself or this happens, by consent. Depressing indeed.

[Mark · Rating 4 out of 5]

Having read about David Ray in a recent Tucson newspaer I thought his memoirs would bear up to closer scrutiny... as well they did.
Having lived in both Oklahoma and Arizona, as he had, and experienced a problem with the 'father figure' in my life too his story, all though a generation apart from mine, resonanted with similar demons and passions.
I also felt as a reserach subject for a future novel the bearing of his soul and sexual proclivities would fit in with a character I had in mind and I was not disappointed in that regard either.
As for the book, well Ray just has a wonderful way of laying out a story. Told in child to adult format he lets us in to all his secrets and lies and I imagine the writing of it was therapeutic to the author.

[Emily · Rating 3 out of 5]

I came for the Oklahoma part of this story, but I stayed for all of the crazy shit that ends up happening. Dude ranch, writer's cult, hit men, and so much more.