What do you think?
Rate this book
The Craggy Hole in My Heart and the Cat Who Fixed It: Over the Edge and Back with My Dad, My Cat, and Me
Geneen Roth’s legions of fans have always responded to her humor and honesty, her warmth and savvy. Those qualities, so present in The Craggy Hole in My Heart and The Cat Who Fixed It, take us deep into the story of a remarkable twenty-pound cat, Mister Blanche, and Geneen’s beloved father, Bernard, and the ways in which each taught her to love without reservation and to accept the fact that she might someday lose those whom she believed she could not live without.In these remarkable, inspiring, and joyous pages, we discover along with Geneen how to break free of the same fears that may drive us to eat or drink or shop too much. Fear of being vulnerable, fear of death, fear of losing what we want These are the demons that can inhibit our ability to embrace life freely and fully.Come meet Mister Blanche and the charming Bernard and immerse yourself in a poignant and funny story that is Geneen’s best. As her loyal readership already It’s not about food, it’s not about the cat . . . it’s always been about love and how to live with it—and never live without it!
134 pages, Kindle Edition
First published January 1, 2004
23 people are currently reading
403 people want to read
About the author
Geneen Roth
62 books606 followersGeneen Roth's pioneering books were among the first to link compulsive eating and perpetual dieting with deeply personal and spiritual issues that go far beyond food, weight and body image. She believes that we eat the way we live, and that our relationship to food, money, love is an exact reflection of our deepest held beliefs about ourselves and the amount of joy, abundance, pain, scarcity, we believe we have (or are allowed) to have in our lives.
Rather than pushing away the "crazy" things we do, Geneen's work proceeds with the conviction that our actions and beliefs make exquisite sense, and that the way to transform our relationship with food is to be open, curious and kind with ourselves-instead of punishing, impatient and harsh. In the past thirty years, she has worked with hundreds of thousands of people using meditation, inquiry, and a set of seven eating guidelines that are the foundation of natural eating.
Geneen has appeared on many national television shows including: The Oprah Show, 20/20, The NBC Nightly News, The View and Good Morning America. Articles about Geneen and her work have appeared in numerous publications including: O: The Oprah Magazine, Cosmopolitan, Time, Elle, The New York Times, The Chicago Tribune, and The Philadelphia Inquirer. She has written monthly columns in Good Housekeeping Magazine and Prevention Magazine. Geneen is the author of eight books, including The New York Times bestsellers When Food is Love and Women Food and God: An Unexpected Path to Almost Everything. Her newest book, to be published in March 2011, is Lost and Found: Unexpected Revelations about Food and Money.
Rather than pushing away the "crazy" things we do, Geneen's work proceeds with the conviction that our actions and beliefs make exquisite sense, and that the way to transform our relationship with food is to be open, curious and kind with ourselves-instead of punishing, impatient and harsh. In the past thirty years, she has worked with hundreds of thousands of people using meditation, inquiry, and a set of seven eating guidelines that are the foundation of natural eating.
Geneen has appeared on many national television shows including: The Oprah Show, 20/20, The NBC Nightly News, The View and Good Morning America. Articles about Geneen and her work have appeared in numerous publications including: O: The Oprah Magazine, Cosmopolitan, Time, Elle, The New York Times, The Chicago Tribune, and The Philadelphia Inquirer. She has written monthly columns in Good Housekeeping Magazine and Prevention Magazine. Geneen is the author of eight books, including The New York Times bestsellers When Food is Love and Women Food and God: An Unexpected Path to Almost Everything. Her newest book, to be published in March 2011, is Lost and Found: Unexpected Revelations about Food and Money.
Ratings & Reviews
Friends & Following
Create a free account to discover what your friends think of this book!
Community Reviews
Displaying 1 - 30 of 101 reviews
August 23, 2020
Such a long title for such a short book. The Craggy Hole in My Heart and the Cat Who Fixed It: Over the Edge and Back with My Dad, My Cat, and Me is an interesting book to review. The reader must separate the meaningful insights from some rather ridiculous statements. For me, I found the book to be more Bizarre than Inspiring.
The author seems to be be the definition of the fabled "Crazy Cat Lady".
Bizarre Statements:
After we've been together for four years, Matt asks me to marry him. I say yes, even though three minutes later, I find myself thinking I am probably a lesbian and our whole relationship is a terrible mistake.
_______
When she listens to his chest with a stethoscope, he has so much fur and flesh she can't find his heartbeat.
For fleas, Dr. Cheryl Schwartz recommends green tea and aloe vera gel; for bruises, a homeopathic dose of arnica; for indigestion, tow little black balls of Chinese medicine we have to find in Oakland Chinatown. She tells me that Blanche is my "familiar," and that he is more connected to me than any being, ever.
_______
No matter how many precautions we take, I begin to wake up a few times a week in a cold sweat dreaming that Blanche is lost or dead. If he is not sleeping on the bed, I roam the house until I find him curled on top of the heater or in the laundry basket and drag him back to bed.
_______
He told me I'd chunked off pieces of myself and frozen them. I never went back. I didn't understand why anyone would rummage around in frozen garbage for the purpose of finding tears.
_______
My father was the light to my mother's dark. She was a fat kid who never had a boyfriend until she met my father . . .
_______
I would have turned myself into a field of daisies, flattened myself into a sidewalk, become a Chinese contortionist with elastic legs on my head to get her love. But just my being alive, just my taking up space seemed to stick out and sting her, make her shrink from my touch. I spoke in words as clumsy as couches, angered her with simple needs.
_______
. . . when I showed up in my dorm room the first day of college, I pulled out a two-foot wooden statue of John F. Kennedy my father had given me ten years before. The woodcarver's hand was not as steady as it should have been, which left Mr. Kennedy with disproportionately large front teeth and feet the size of small canoes. My roommate, Jace, insisted it was the ugliest thing she'd ever seen. But that was before I pulled out the two white ceramic rabbits, also gifts from my father, which she said looked capable of devouring small children.
Favorite Passages:
At two hours old, they looked like wet weasels, and I wasn't impressed. My mother went straight for the white kitten. Take this one, she crooned, as she stroked the slicked-back fur of the shut-eyed rodent, but I wasn't taking anything so fast.
_______
Within two months, I can't imagine that I've ever lived without her. She seems to be exactly the same shape as the craggy hole in my heart, so when I see her, all my stick-out edges and weird crazy ways smooth down. I feel as if I've been dreaming her for years and now she is here.
_______
I decide that since Blanche is going to be neutered, he has transcended gender. He is neither cat nor person, neither boy nor girl. Blanche is beyond definition.
_______
Blanche is a love sponge with a thousand petal-pink lipstick marks on his head.
_______
Then, looking at me, he says "You know, I really don't like cats."
I glance at my watch to see when I can kick him out.
"But there is something very unusual about you, Blanche," he continues, stroking him under the chin. "You seem to be more than a cat."
I decide to wait a few weeks before I ask him to marry me.
_______
Isn't it better, since sorrow is inevitable, not to invite it in?
_______
First, you have to be aware that the way you see the world isn't necessarily the way it is, and second, you have to believe that you have a choice about which reality you perceive.
_______
My father.
Everyone said we looked exactly alike because our faces were shaped like moons and our lips like hearts. When I had bad dreams as a child, I would pad to his side of the bed, and tug on his pale blue pajama sleeve. He'd wake instantly, fold me in his arms, and tell me silly stories until I fell back asleep.
My mother threw things and cried, but my dad was soft as a cloud, and I twirled myself like a vine around his silvery love.
The author seems to be be the definition of the fabled "Crazy Cat Lady".
Bizarre Statements:
After we've been together for four years, Matt asks me to marry him. I say yes, even though three minutes later, I find myself thinking I am probably a lesbian and our whole relationship is a terrible mistake.
_______
When she listens to his chest with a stethoscope, he has so much fur and flesh she can't find his heartbeat.
For fleas, Dr. Cheryl Schwartz recommends green tea and aloe vera gel; for bruises, a homeopathic dose of arnica; for indigestion, tow little black balls of Chinese medicine we have to find in Oakland Chinatown. She tells me that Blanche is my "familiar," and that he is more connected to me than any being, ever.
_______
No matter how many precautions we take, I begin to wake up a few times a week in a cold sweat dreaming that Blanche is lost or dead. If he is not sleeping on the bed, I roam the house until I find him curled on top of the heater or in the laundry basket and drag him back to bed.
_______
He told me I'd chunked off pieces of myself and frozen them. I never went back. I didn't understand why anyone would rummage around in frozen garbage for the purpose of finding tears.
_______
My father was the light to my mother's dark. She was a fat kid who never had a boyfriend until she met my father . . .
_______
I would have turned myself into a field of daisies, flattened myself into a sidewalk, become a Chinese contortionist with elastic legs on my head to get her love. But just my being alive, just my taking up space seemed to stick out and sting her, make her shrink from my touch. I spoke in words as clumsy as couches, angered her with simple needs.
_______
. . . when I showed up in my dorm room the first day of college, I pulled out a two-foot wooden statue of John F. Kennedy my father had given me ten years before. The woodcarver's hand was not as steady as it should have been, which left Mr. Kennedy with disproportionately large front teeth and feet the size of small canoes. My roommate, Jace, insisted it was the ugliest thing she'd ever seen. But that was before I pulled out the two white ceramic rabbits, also gifts from my father, which she said looked capable of devouring small children.
Favorite Passages:
At two hours old, they looked like wet weasels, and I wasn't impressed. My mother went straight for the white kitten. Take this one, she crooned, as she stroked the slicked-back fur of the shut-eyed rodent, but I wasn't taking anything so fast.
_______
Within two months, I can't imagine that I've ever lived without her. She seems to be exactly the same shape as the craggy hole in my heart, so when I see her, all my stick-out edges and weird crazy ways smooth down. I feel as if I've been dreaming her for years and now she is here.
_______
I decide that since Blanche is going to be neutered, he has transcended gender. He is neither cat nor person, neither boy nor girl. Blanche is beyond definition.
_______
Blanche is a love sponge with a thousand petal-pink lipstick marks on his head.
_______
Then, looking at me, he says "You know, I really don't like cats."
I glance at my watch to see when I can kick him out.
"But there is something very unusual about you, Blanche," he continues, stroking him under the chin. "You seem to be more than a cat."
I decide to wait a few weeks before I ask him to marry me.
_______
Isn't it better, since sorrow is inevitable, not to invite it in?
_______
First, you have to be aware that the way you see the world isn't necessarily the way it is, and second, you have to believe that you have a choice about which reality you perceive.
_______
My father.
Everyone said we looked exactly alike because our faces were shaped like moons and our lips like hearts. When I had bad dreams as a child, I would pad to his side of the bed, and tug on his pale blue pajama sleeve. He'd wake instantly, fold me in his arms, and tell me silly stories until I fell back asleep.
My mother threw things and cried, but my dad was soft as a cloud, and I twirled myself like a vine around his silvery love.
January 31, 2015
One of my students recommended this book to me and loaned me her copy. I'm so glad I read it; there were many messages to take to heart. I read a lot of reviews after I read this book. I can relate to those who disliked it because of the author's choices. I thought she was a nutter and making bad choices, but those things are not the heart of the message. I knew her message would be a pearl worth searching for. Sometimes, you suspend certain needs to attain a goal. I didn't need to agree with her choices to find value in her growth message.
This is the kind of book that (if it were my personal copy, and I may need to go purchase my own) I would have been highlighting and flagging. It was quite cathartic.
This is the kind of book that (if it were my personal copy, and I may need to go purchase my own) I would have been highlighting and flagging. It was quite cathartic.
October 4, 2011
I was disappointed by this book. The title never fulfilled itself to me as the author was just as self-involved at the end of the book as she was at the beginning. Her husband is clearly a saint.
October 29, 2012
Geneen's soulful story of the loss of her father and beloved kitty touched the hole in my heart - all while helping me realize that although the hole will never go away, I have grown stronger because of it. Get the Kleenex out. Thank you to my dear friend Jan for realizing the value of this book for me.
October 8, 2017
This book went off into lofty places I couldn't follow a few times. Had it been less transcendental I would have enjoyed it more. I get where the author was going with it, but she never quite made me care.
January 13, 2009
What a silly woman. If she'd ever take her focus off herself and place it out in the world...where it belongs!!...she wouldn't have been so distressed and unhappy.
February 12, 2023
"it occurs to me that I can spend the rest of my life (and his) in a low-level panic, or I can take a leap into the suffering, and make friends with fear, pain and sorrow."
"I soon realize I have two choices: allow the breaking or rail against it, allow what is happening or create a drama on top of it. It occurs to me for the gazillionth time that Blanche or no Blanche, these are the only choices I ever have."
"I soon realize I have two choices: allow the breaking or rail against it, allow what is happening or create a drama on top of it. It occurs to me for the gazillionth time that Blanche or no Blanche, these are the only choices I ever have."
October 15, 2022
I wasn't expecting my heart to be ripped out and scrambled while reading this book. It made me chuckle and then cry alternately throughout.
August 20, 2017
I'm not exactly sure what I was looking for, but this book did not do much for me.
I couldn't relate to her feelings about her father, but I could relate to her feelings about her cat. I've had to say goodbye to a number of pets over the years, and it is a very sad and difficult thing to do, but honestly "death memoirs" are kind of boring. Or maybe they're just depressing.
I don't feel comfortable really trashing this book as I like a lot of what Roth has to say, but it just didn't resonate with me. Still it's a quick read so you might give it a try.
I couldn't relate to her feelings about her father, but I could relate to her feelings about her cat. I've had to say goodbye to a number of pets over the years, and it is a very sad and difficult thing to do, but honestly "death memoirs" are kind of boring. Or maybe they're just depressing.
I don't feel comfortable really trashing this book as I like a lot of what Roth has to say, but it just didn't resonate with me. Still it's a quick read so you might give it a try.
December 1, 2012
This is the kind of book that tempts me into being hugely snarky and not nice so beware. I have a friend who is a huge cat lover (animal lover in general) and if anything would tempt her into reading a non-fiction book, it's this kind of book. Only one thing she says bothers her about this kind of book--and that's when the book really turns out to be all about Me! Me! Me! and not really all that much about the cat. (Boy am I glad I checked this out before say, getting it for her for Christmas.) I also think she wouldn't be peachy about how this lady took care of her cat, the twenty-pound "Miss Blanche," in several respects, but I'll spare you that very long rant.
I will say I probably should have had a HUGE clue this book wasn't for me when I found it not under Nature or Pets, but in the "Self-Help" section and read on the back about how Roth writes books on food addiction and that her main claim to fame is that she's appeared on the Oprah Winfrey show. Can we say trite Hallmark Card pop psychology? Yes we can! I have rarely found myself so absolutely annoyed by the (whiny) voice of an author. I was impatient to speed through the 50-page mark I hold myself to in order to feel I've been fair to a book.
I will say I probably should have had a HUGE clue this book wasn't for me when I found it not under Nature or Pets, but in the "Self-Help" section and read on the back about how Roth writes books on food addiction and that her main claim to fame is that she's appeared on the Oprah Winfrey show. Can we say trite Hallmark Card pop psychology? Yes we can! I have rarely found myself so absolutely annoyed by the (whiny) voice of an author. I was impatient to speed through the 50-page mark I hold myself to in order to feel I've been fair to a book.
July 6, 2012
I think I managed to disagree with the author on everything from her psychoanalysis (of herself, her "treatments," and her nutjob new-agey doctors) to her pet care (who has panic attacks over not being able to find their cat and STILL allows them to go outside? Who takes a suffering cat to an acupuncturist and ACTUALLY LISTENS to pet psychics instead of taking him to a real vet?!). It's obvious she's a deeply disturbed and delusional person and it horrifies me that she has a career in teaching food addiction therapy. In my opinion, she's ruined any credibility she had by publishing something that makes her sound completely out of touch with reality for the majority of her life.
October 19, 2013
Pets have special places in our hearts, no doubt about it. When Blanche the kitten nudged his furry way into Geneen Roth's heart, she believed that she didn't have space for him. Yet she did, and the two became inextricably attached. Blanche comforted Geneen through several life events, including the loss of her beloved, flawed father.
While I enjoyed the stories about Blanche, as well as those about Geneen and her family members, the self-help psychology that comprised much of the book captivated me less.
While I enjoyed the stories about Blanche, as well as those about Geneen and her family members, the self-help psychology that comprised much of the book captivated me less.
January 21, 2008
great idea, but can't get past the owner/author being an idiot - scooting and anorexia as signs of kidney stones and imminent renal explosion!?!? the comment that made be toss the book across the room and move on to a sure thing (Bean Trees by Barbara Kingsolver)was her lamenting over fearing for her cat's safety while he's outside braving the weather, cars, etc - if you love your cat, keep them indoors you MORON
May 6, 2023
This is an older book that has been sitting on my shelf for years now. I closed my heart to be safe and, like the author, a cat is reopening it. I highly recommend it. NOTE: I finished again and it may be one of the best memoirs, especially with a cat, I've read.
Read
June 7, 2022What a load of hooey.
It's well-written and heartfelt, and at times, moving, but I really can't get behind most of the self-discovery the author goes on about. I thought this was a book about a lady and her funny, maybe grumpy adventures with her cat. It's not. It's a very intimate look at the inner struggles of a former anorexic-turned-(anti?)diet coach as she comes to grips with her troubled childhood, love, and most of all, death.
The cat plays a part, but he's mainly just the mascot - or more cynically, a cute way to market this downer of a story. A depressed woman, who finally, at the end of her forties, realizes every living thing dies some day. Sound fun? Yeah, I wouldn't have signed up to read it either.
Some readers might find this book enlightening, however. Roth has endless metaphors for feelings, some of them beautiful. Her openness with her worries and memories might also be a comfort to someone experiencing loss.
On the other hand, "Wisdom" from so-called spiritual leaders doesn't impress me. As the book goes on, the quotes from gurus or lines 'some teacher told her once' start to pile up. Homeopathy and acupuncture also make appearances. This, from a woman who turns her nose up at religion. Psychology is listed as one of the keywords for this book, but for those who come hoping for some hard science or reputable theories, the connection is loose at best.
Me, personally, I also don't feel a lot of sympathy for a woman who feels really sad about her life -while having a loving partner, a successful business, caring family and friends, an actual house in Northern California, several books published, -and- enough job flexibility to drop everything whenever she wants to coo over a sick pet. It's just hard to relate to. And easy to wonder if her main problem isn't just that she has, you know, too much time on her hands?
Somebody, somewhere loves this. In 2004, it was probably a splash hit in some book circles. It's just not what this reader was looking for.
It's well-written and heartfelt, and at times, moving, but I really can't get behind most of the self-discovery the author goes on about. I thought this was a book about a lady and her funny, maybe grumpy adventures with her cat. It's not. It's a very intimate look at the inner struggles of a former anorexic-turned-(anti?)diet coach as she comes to grips with her troubled childhood, love, and most of all, death.
The cat plays a part, but he's mainly just the mascot - or more cynically, a cute way to market this downer of a story. A depressed woman, who finally, at the end of her forties, realizes every living thing dies some day. Sound fun? Yeah, I wouldn't have signed up to read it either.
Some readers might find this book enlightening, however. Roth has endless metaphors for feelings, some of them beautiful. Her openness with her worries and memories might also be a comfort to someone experiencing loss.
On the other hand, "Wisdom" from so-called spiritual leaders doesn't impress me. As the book goes on, the quotes from gurus or lines 'some teacher told her once' start to pile up. Homeopathy and acupuncture also make appearances. This, from a woman who turns her nose up at religion. Psychology is listed as one of the keywords for this book, but for those who come hoping for some hard science or reputable theories, the connection is loose at best.
Me, personally, I also don't feel a lot of sympathy for a woman who feels really sad about her life -while having a loving partner, a successful business, caring family and friends, an actual house in Northern California, several books published, -and- enough job flexibility to drop everything whenever she wants to coo over a sick pet. It's just hard to relate to. And easy to wonder if her main problem isn't just that she has, you know, too much time on her hands?
Somebody, somewhere loves this. In 2004, it was probably a splash hit in some book circles. It's just not what this reader was looking for.
February 21, 2023
When I first started to read this book I was disappointed because I thought there would be more about the cat but it was very much about the author and her issues with anxiety and her emotional relationship with food, love and her father……. I felt the author was very self absorbed and annoying…… I nearly gave up on it but carried on…..
Maybe it was the relationship she had with her father that pulled me in as I recognised my father in her father……
Towards the end of the book the author talked about grief and her relationship with her mother, husband and most of all her beloved cat and I’m so glad I didn’t give up on this book as it’s beautifully written and brought a tear to my eye more than once……the last chapter was very moving x
Maybe it was the relationship she had with her father that pulled me in as I recognised my father in her father……
Towards the end of the book the author talked about grief and her relationship with her mother, husband and most of all her beloved cat and I’m so glad I didn’t give up on this book as it’s beautifully written and brought a tear to my eye more than once……the last chapter was very moving x
September 13, 2020
Only cat lovers can know how wise a cat can be. The way they claim a space and exude love with a simple purr allows them to be a mirror of our inner workings. This book shows how Mr. Blanche entered the author’s life and guided her through her father’s death and examination of her relationship with her parents and in the process learn that life is loving. Me. Blanche’s channeled his final words which the author shares with her readers; I have read his words over and over to bask in the light they provide.
December 20, 2022
Quick summer read.
I loved this book as much as I hated it, hence the 4 stars. It makes you feel, especially if you have a cat who filled a craggy hole in your heart. At times I related to the author but at times I hated her which still made it relatable because we all have parts of ourselves we hate and wish didn’t exist. I was expecting a “feel good” read but the authors ability to make readers dislike her and others throughout a good portion of the book make it sadder than I expected. It’s definitely a realistic read rather than an escape from life’s troubles.
I loved this book as much as I hated it, hence the 4 stars. It makes you feel, especially if you have a cat who filled a craggy hole in your heart. At times I related to the author but at times I hated her which still made it relatable because we all have parts of ourselves we hate and wish didn’t exist. I was expecting a “feel good” read but the authors ability to make readers dislike her and others throughout a good portion of the book make it sadder than I expected. It’s definitely a realistic read rather than an escape from life’s troubles.
January 26, 2021
Autobiographical account in which the author unearths her meaning of life and discovers peace after two deaths and a spiritual discovery journey. I found the book easy to read. I even discovered that it could be read in several hours at one sitting as I reread it before writing this review. The author was very open about her struggles without getting querulous. Many times she saw and conveyed the humor in her situation, even at her own sometimes inadequate way of dealing with circumstances. One drawback is that, at times, her writing becomes ethereal which disturbs the flow. I also feel the other characters, especially her husband, could have been more developed. All in all, I enjoyed reading this book and its insights on love, death and dysfunctional families.
March 5, 2021
This memoir by Geneen Roth is a quick read about her falling in love with a cat - and about her relationship with her parents. The cat part was quite entertaining, with stories that many cat owners can relate to (I certainly did). She also has a sweet relationship with her husband. The longer section in the middle about coming to terms with her father's death and realizing that her view of her parents was perhaps not quite accurate was just ok.
October 10, 2023
The writing was good and the authors life stories about her struggles & joys in life were told in a very real way...she had me in tears at times, and laughing at other times. Her writing of her cat Blanche has again opened up that hole in my heart to possibly get another cat...we'll see. Not to diminish the authors way of dealing with her different struggles, her writing of various self-help groups for me became tiresome at times...but that's just me.
May 21, 2019
A beautiful reflection on grief (of father: loss, hurt, anger; of guardian-angel-cat: devastation) and learning to stay with your pain, until the very end of it - without escapism. Without numbing or running or avoiding. But letting it run its course, through you, until one day, you can notice the sun again.
October 30, 2019
The most positive thing I can say about this book is that it was a quick read. However, it was way, way too dramatic and overwrought for me. I was also surprised at how little was written about her cat, considering the title. I've read several of Roth's books about eating, including Women, God and Food, and enjoyed them. Maybe she should keep to self-help.
November 18, 2020
A light read. I was expecting a cat centric book full of amusing tales about an amazing cat, instead I found a self help book / memoir that was too light on the how to’s to be truly helpful if someone were looking for help , and a few chapters about an average, overweight cat. Neither memorable nor inspiring, but it was a nice quick read on a day when I felt like reading instead of doing chores.
October 14, 2020
Disappointing.
June 17, 2022
A nice read about love and loss while finding hope and healing in unexpected ways.
May 30, 2023
Pretty silly. Felt like I was reading a teen diary. Book was overrated.
June 24, 2024
I loved this book!
December 29, 2024
This is not a read for a cat lover!
Displaying 1 - 30 of 101 reviews