The Baby Whisperer Solves All Your Problems: Sleeping, Feeding, and Behavior--Beyond the Basics

by Tracy Hogg, Melinda Blau

The Baby Whisperer gives new parents everything they need to tackle the challenges of sleep, eating habits, tantrums, growth issues, and more!The Baby Whisperer Solves All Your Problems is an in-depth look at the most challenging issues faced by parents of babies and young children today. The book goes beyond the basics introduced in her first two books, becoming a compendium of specific and targeted parenting strategies. Each chapter tackles a different topic, from teaching babies to sleep, feeding techniques, potty training, and much more. Hogg will also discuss her two new Baby Whispering concepts, which are being patient and conscious and learning to detect “prime times”—windows of opportunity for sleep training, introducing bottles (in breast-fed babies), sippy cups, toilet training, and much more. Once you learn how to translate banguage, the “baby-language” your infant uses to communicate needs, feelings, and opinions, you can see your child for who he or she really is—an understanding that will serve you well as your child blossoms into the toddler years. By helping you establish a daily routine and tailor your parenting strategies according to your child’s unique personality and stage of development, Tracy will teach you how • Employ the Twelve Principles of Problem Solving—simple troubleshooting techniques for everyday situations • Avoid, or remedy, accidental parenting—inadvertent adult behavior that often leads to such common parenting challenges as sleep problems, poor eating habits, separation anxiety, and tantrums • Identify windows of opportunity for teaching babies how to get to sleep on their own, introducing bottles to breast-fed babies, toilet training, and other growth issues For Tracy’s fans, this book will be a welcome addition to the Hogg library; for readers unfamiliar with her philosophy of care, it will open a new world of understanding and insight.

Genres: Parenting, Nonfiction, Self Help, Reference, Childrens, Family, Psychology

592 pages, Kindle Edition

First published January 4, 2005

About the author

Tracy Hogg obtained her nursing degree in England, specializing in maternity and neonatal care. Her uncanny ability to understand and calm babies led to her nickname "The Baby Whisperer." In 1997, she founded Baby Technique, through which she consults with parents individually, organizes and teaches group classes, and provides nanny training and referrals. She is the mother of two daughters.
Tracy Hogg died of melanoma in November 2004.

Reviews

[seak · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book got our TWINS to sleep through the night at 2 months old without making them cry it out. Love this book because it gave us sleep, need I say more?

[Maggie · Rating 1 out of 5]

Most of it was ok. SHe talked about the number of hrs in a 24 hr period a baby should sleep, that was good to know. But her EASY method, which is the basis for the book I disagree with. She says that you should never nurse or bottle feed baby to sleep or before going to sleep. She says it is unnatural to sleep right after eating. And she even used the example of "after eating a big hearty meal, do YOU feel like going to sleep." And I just thought YES, I do! Anyway, I believe it is very natural to nurse a baby to sleep- especially a new born, so I disagree with he rmain concept of her method.

[Lady Alexandrine · Rating 2 out of 5]

I didn't like this book or the author's approach to parenting. According to the author to parent means that you control your behaviour all the time, there is nothing spontanous about it. It seems inhuman and exhausting. Parents have to keep their guard all the time and follow the rules described in this book. Still, there were some useful tips, so it was worth reading. Anyway, nobody I know read this book and their children turned out fine and are not behaving like little monsters described by the author!

[Serkan · Rating 4 out of 5]

Wow! Tracy is a miracle. We have a 13-month old son which had severe sleeping problems. He used to wake up 15 times at nights. We followed the method from this book, and now he sleeps continuously at nights. We now regret that we didn't read this book earlier. If you have a baby or you plan to have one, this is the book you should read.

[E.S.O. · Rating 1 out of 5]

I enjoyed the book and I thought the most useful parts of it were the bits taking the lead and putting your child on a routine. She talks about developmental windows where your child is ready to learn something new, like being introduced to solid food, or potty training, or sleeping in a big-kid's bed. There are lots of nitty-gritty strategies, and I thought this book was a nice complement to another book I really liked, titled BRINGING UP BEBE: ONE AMERICAN MOTHER DISCOVERS THE WISDOM OF FRENCH PARENTING by Pamela Druckerman. I liked that THE BABY WHISPERER SOLVES ALL YOUR PROBLEMS was very middle-of-the road in that it was neither too soft, nor too authoritarian; don't abandon your child to cry it out, but don't be spineless and give into every whim either; she basically wants you to be in-tuned with your child, but to also take the lead and teach your child things because you, as an adult, are an expert in things that children don't know how to do yet...such as learning how to sleep, eat, manage their feelings, transition from one task to another, play well with others, use the potty, etc.

However, I don't agree with her EASY method. It doesn't seem based in what babies actually need or how they physically work. More like a fantasy than a reality.

Also, the organization and layout of the book isn't very useful because, even if you read it cover-to-cover (as I did), it makes it almost impossible to find anything or quickly refer back to anything. For example, she often refers to things on different pages and instead of having the important bits of information in a pull-out box, she'll have it buried in the middle of a paragraph (or even in the middle of a sentence) so that I found myself having to read entire pages before finding what I was looking for. The table of contents doesn't include any of the age-appropriate sub-headings or common issues that a parent would want to refer back to. It would have been nice if each chapter had a page with bullet-points that summarized the basic points, because so often the main points are hidden within the text. The italicized sub-headings are hard to find because they are so similar to the rest of the text that it doesn't call attention to your eye. Also, the use of pull-out boxes seemed inconsistent: sometimes it was useful information, sometimes it was anecdotes, sometimes it was something from the Internet that was funny, but not very useful.

Tthere was a slightly self-congratulating tone that I personally didn't care for. She uses examples from various parents she has worked with as teaching examples for how to handle things better. Most of the time it was useful, but occasionally it seemed like she was using this book as a way to show off how smart she was and how dumb those parents were. I think I would have liked it better if she spent more time talking about strategies for how to do it right, rather than pointing out how all those parents were doing it wrong.

[Charul Palmer-Patel · Rating 2 out of 5]

I’m not on board with Hogg’s discouragement of “accidental parenting”, I.e. habits that are established as parents try whatever works to get their child to sleep or stop crying. An example she uses of rocking a baby to sleep seems completely normal to me. What’s abnormal is expecting an infant to go to sleep with minimal touch or contact.
Her “E.A.S.Y.” plan of eat, active, sleep, and your time is also baffling. I see nothing wrong with “risking” an association with nursing and sleeping as anyone (adults and children alike) sleep better when they’re not hungry. Again, she continually discourages normal behaviour as inappropriate, wrong, or a failure. The book leaves you with the feeling that you’re a bad parent if you don’t follow her strict guidelines. And, despite her suggestion that her itinerary is flexible, having an itinerary at all is completely rigid. Doing a pattern of E.A.S.Y in 3 or 4 hour increments isn’t sustainable. It also doesn’t take into account tired and stressed parents. Trying to maintain a schedule - and telling parents that they’ve failed if they don’t - will either lead to PPD or PPA, or most definitely exaggerate pre-existing depression/anxiety problems.
But I give it 2 stars instead of 1 as I found her identification of babies/children as either Angel, Textbook, Spirited, Grumpy, Touch helpful. Once we identified our son as Spirited, we realized that the techniques we were using to deal with his overtiredness was stimulating him further. We were able to change our bedtime routine accordingly and we’ve seen significant improvement in how long it takes to get him to sleep or how upset he gets. I wish though that she had discussed these types further as it’s a very small section of the book.

[Rachel · Rating 2 out of 5]

I appreciated her Eat/Sleep/Play routine, but I drove myself crazy trying to get my little one to nap as long as she said he should have. Once I finally admitted he was a short napper and just accepted his schedule for what it was, we were all much happier. There were some pieces of useful advice, but it is like any advice for new parents: there is no single answer out there on how to do it. If there were, there wouldn't be a million different books about it! Use what works for you, but don't stress about what doesn't.

[Alicia McCallum · Rating 1 out of 5]

I regret reading this book more than any other book I’ve read. It gave me such terrible advice when I was pregnant for the first time. It is such a harmful book in my opinion!

[Tiana]

We've tried a lot of things to get our little monkey to sleep through the night (he would always wake up at 4:00am, ready to play), but this book really resonated with my parenting beliefs. I felt like Tracy always was one step ahead in predicting how I as the mom was feeling, which gave me confidence she could predict the baby's reactions as well. She provided a nice middle ground that didn't involve crying it out, but that also helps babies learn how to fall asleep on their own and put themselves back to sleep.

My son's been on this routine for about a week and already he's sleeping until 7:00 in the morning. (Yay!!) He also takes longer naps during the day. Of course, it was really hard work. Really. Hard. I wanted to give in - multiple times. But I kept telling myself that she knew what she was talking about and I needed to be consistent. I'm glad I kept it up. I know it won't always be smooth sailing, and he'll probably regress before this becomes the "norm" but I'll definitely be doing this method when that happens.

She also talks about the toddler years and solving tantrums. She talks about potty training and how to get them potty trained between a year and a year and a half. I'll be buying this book, because I already don't want to return it to the library!

[Melissa · Rating 2 out of 5]

I think this book is wonderful and a must-read for all new parents. The first few weeks (as is typical of most newbie parents) was uber difficult because I was still adjusting to what exactly taking care of a baby meant. This book shined so much light on little baby personalities and what to look and listen for in baby's cries. I now feel so much more equipped when handling my little girl. Already, I've gotten her on a bedtime routine and am able to get her to take naps better (she's six weeks). This book isn't completely practical in other aspects, especially the authors' position that babies can be put on routines as soon as they are born. They maintain that infants under about three months of age should only be fed every three hours, for example. That is not the case with my daughter. She eats every three hours sometime and other times it's two hours or 90 minutes. It all depends on what is going on with her little body. I don't feel right in restricting her food to every three hours only. Other parents might have more success with establishing that kind of strict routine but I don't. All in all, I enjoyed this book and will probably go back to it many times as I continue my new journey into parenthood.

[Kylene · Rating 4 out of 5]

I don't have time to read this entire book, so I've been skipping around to the most relevant sections. I read this out of desperation to learn how to get my baby to sleep. I've also read about 3 other baby sleep books. Not a single one of them have worked...but a combination of their suggestions along with a lot of what Tracy Hogg says in her book is what is working for us. For example, I can't do PU/PD with my daughter as it gets her more worked up in thinking that she's going to be rescued, only to be put back down in her crib. I agree that babies need schedules and they need to have play time and sleep time. I'm not an advocate of CIO, but I was glad that she was okay with baby crying a little, which I definitely agree with. I also like how she gives different personality types for both babies and children. I've learned I'm a textbook parent, while my baby is a combintation of touchy and spirited. No wonder we were both getting so frustrated! I can say I definitely understand her a little more and can hopefully address her needs, get her on a better schedule, and getting her napping better. :)

[Alper Çuğun · Rating 3 out of 5]

There's a lot of information in here some of which is pretty good but a lot of it is so specific or opinionated that it is hard to apply in a reasonable way. Worst of all, all of that information is totally disorganized where kids of all age groups criss-cross each other throughout the book making it very hard to use.

[Christina · Rating 5 out of 5]

I read this book when my baby was 11 weeks old, and boy do I wish I did it sooner! I love Hogg’s “middle of the road” philosophy, and every tip of advice comes with a practical solution. I can read a chapter, put the book down, and immediately go try what she said. Highly recommend for ANY parent!

[Greta Musteikienė · Rating 5 out of 5]

I was against crying it out, and pick up/put down, described here really worked for us. Made both baby and parents happy :)

[Charlotte Flood · Rating 5 out of 5]

I definitely had a “spirited baby” and at 4 months old this book saved me. He absolutely needed a rigid, predictable routine. I had to put in a lot of work for it to succeed, but I think I’d be dealing with a very different 3 year old now if I hadn’t. I’ve since had an “angel baby” and have had the luxury of being able to go with the flow and follow her lead, so it’s definitely not for every situation. For the challenging ones, this is the Bible!

[حاتم عاشور · Rating 4 out of 5]

It's nice to be E.A.S.Y. :D
You will get it when you read it.

You can easily take what you want or where is your pain to solve it, you can find an issue as a title, there is a study case to learn and there is findings.

This book will help you in full, will promote your behaviour with kids.

[Apollo · Rating 2 out of 5]

2.5

[Chris Gisler · Rating 4 out of 5]

A nice compliment to Babywise. A good resource on a variety of topics - breastfeeding, schedules and sleep training (though she does not support CIO), solids, and potty training. - I have not read the potty training chapter yet as my son is 10 months. -

I was particularly helped by her chapter on a baby’s temperament (my son is “spirited”), and how we can learn to parent the child we HAVE, not the child we wish we would have had :) She gives practical advice for what approaches work best with certain temperaments.

She also has nice side bars with quick info throughout each chapter, which is very helpful for quick reference.

[Priscila · Rating 4 out of 5]

Interessante e prático. Por enquanto, tudo o q tentei aplicar deu certo.

[Боби · Rating 4 out of 5]

Добрите бебешко-детски книги имат една основна функция, по моему. И тя е да успокояват родителите, като им осигуряват нещо като дъска, по която да преминеш плаващите пясъци.

Каквото и аварийно да се случи с детето ти, от подозрително кихване до брутални травми и инфекции, най-важната първа стъпка е да запазиш спокойствие. Което идва от информираното отношение.

Отделно, плаващите пясъци (баби, лели, стринки, комшийки, напълно непознати - всички преизпълнени с акъл, най-често тотално неприложим към твоето дете), с които се сблъскват всички родители, са много по-лесни за преодоляване, когато имаш твърда линия, която да следваш.

Специално тази книга ми допадна в много отношения, защото авторката е едновременно строга и систематична, но и държи принципите си в рамките на разумното. Един малък пример е биберона - твърдо против е да се използва като метод за заглушаване на бебета по ред причини и с пълно право. Но това важи от една възраст нагоре. Микробебетата имат сукателен инстинкт, който не винаги може да бъде задоволен с кърмене (освен ако не искаш да кърмиш на , съответно смукалки и дъвкалки влизат в употреба. Но като наблюдаваш детето е лесно да видиш кога е време да спреш да даваш бибата, а ако то толкова настоява да дъвче нещо, винаги може да използва юмруче, което освен това е и под негов контрол, за разлика от биберона.

Изобщо основна линия в книгата е нещо много важно за всички осъзнати родители (неосъзнатите са тия, дето възприемат детето като кръстоска от хамстер, куче и тамагочи): наблюдавай детето, за да го разбираш по-добре.

[Douglas Lord · Rating 3 out of 5]

British-born Hogg (Secrets of the Baby Whisperer for Toddlers) earned her nickname for her ability to quickly discern the needs of babies; this book presents confident answers to the questions most frequently asked of her. While not a complete retread, the book recycles much of the commonsense advice for which Hogg is known. Respect for and being attuned to one's child is critical in learning how to parent; acronyms aplenty encapsulate advice (e.g., H.E.L.P. stands for Hold yourself back, Encourage exploration, Limit, and Praise). Real-life scenes demonstrate how structured schedules foster predictability and avoid the usual crankiness surrounding "the big three" mom-and-infant issues: sleep, eating, and behavior. Some readers may like the bulleted how-to lists that punctuate Hogg's conversational narrative, but pinpointing issues is still difficult without an index. If you don't own Hogg's first two titles, this is a solid purchase; otherwise, rely on the post-birth "What To Expect" titles.

Find reviews of books for men at Books for Dudes, Books for Dudes, the online reader's advisory column for men from Library Journal. Copyright Library Journal.

[Vedat Hayri Adivar · Rating 4 out of 5]

Çocukları kaç yaşında olursa olsun tüm anne-babaların sahip olması gereken iki özellik vardır; Sabır ve Bilinç...
Hiçbir zaman bir bebeğin ağlamasını duymazdan gelmemeli, ağlarken kendi haline bırakmamalısınız...
İlgiye asıl ihtiyacı olan siz iseniz, bir bebeğin hayatını düzene sokmanız olanaksız olacaktır...
Hayallerimiz aslında kim olduğumuzu yansıtır...
Çocuğun doğasını kabullenin, huyunu değiştirme hayalleri kurmayın. O, kendine ait bir yolu olan, değişik etkilerle kendini bulacak farklı bir insandır...
Sahip olmak istediğiniz çocuğu değil, sahip olduğunuz çocuğu görmeye çalışın...
Özgüveni olan anne-babalar herkes için en doğru olanı düşünürler. Dolayısyla bebeklerinin en iyi oldukları noktayı görmeye çalışırlar...
Güven sağlamanız için; Onu anlamaya çalışın. Konuşurken bebeğinizin gözünün içine bakın. Yapacağınız bir şeyi öncelikle ona açıklayın. Geride durup izleyin, keşifler yapması için onu cesaretlendirin. Ondan övgü ile bahsedin ama aşırıya kaçmayın...

[Clare · Rating 4 out of 5]

Am happy to report having good progress w/ her Pick Up/Put Down method. At 3 mos., Mikey is sleeping in his crib and wakes only 1x/night most nights. Yay!
_______
You don't need Hogg's first book if you've got this book. This one gives you all the "hands on" instructions that you need. An unique advantage of this book is that Hogg's recommendations for solving sleep problems vary with a child's age. She outlines steps to take to change your routine as your child matures. So, I'll be returning to the book as Mikey hits various age milestones.

Although Hogg's Shush/Pat method did not work for my son, I plan to try her Pick Up/Put Down method now that he's old enough for it. The goal: get him to settle into sleep easier/quicker and to take longer naps.

[İlknur · Rating 3 out of 5]

"Hatalı ebeveynlik" dediğin kadar başına taş düşsün dedirten kitaptır.

Bu kitabı okurken bir şeyler öğrenmek ve mümkünse uygulamak istiyorsunuz. Ama yazarin dili öyle ki önce ebeveynliginizi sorgulamaya başlıyor, kendinizde 984738 hatalı ebeveynlik faktörü buluveriyorsunuz. Belki gerçekten haklıdır kadın dur devam edeyim diyorsunuz hop yeni bir açıdan 'hatalı ebeveyn'siniz.

Çözüm mü? Yazara göre yat kaldır, uyuyorsa uyandır, kamuflajları giydir yerde süründür tadında ilerliyor.

Okudum mu evet, sevebildim mi hayır.

(Bir de neden Tracy Hogg ismi Melinda Blau'dan daha büyük fontla yazılmış bilemiyorum ama nedense hoşuma gitmedi.)

[Dafne Ortiz · Rating 2 out of 5]

Some of the facts are good to know, such as how to identify mistakes in breastfeeding, but I could have bought a breasfeeding book for that... Her EASY method didn't make sense to me. My baby has been sleeping right after eating and most mothers will agree it's one of the nicest things that naturally happen... She pretends that we will always give them an activity afterwards (won't wake my baby, sorry). And one I tried measuring the schedules I got obsessed about the timing instead of enjoying the time with my baby... So it didn't work for me.

[Krystal · Rating 4 out of 5]

Refreshing after "Babywise." I loved her philosophy. This has been a better approach for James (who is now sleeping through the night.) She stresses the importance of getting a baby on a schedule just like Gary Ezzo, but her approach is much gentler. She still believes babies should be sleeping through the night by four months, but doesn't believe in the "Cry-It-Out" Method. Just like with all infant sleep books, take some and leave some.

[Dani Sims yardley · Rating 4 out of 5]

Every child is different and every parent searches for a way to solve problems in their child's life. For me, this book was super informative and gave some great tips to try. Not everything she writes about worked for me and my kiddos but for the things that did, I'm so grateful. I like how the book is laid out and how you you can reference things topically without feeling it necessary to read the whole book at one time.

[Monica · Rating 1 out of 5]

Didn't read the whole of it. Authors are poining fingers at parents and judging them for not knowing all about babys and how to deal with them. I decided to read it as we needed assistance very badly with our son's sleep. Instead, all this judging made me feel small and even more nervous. The sleep method in the book didn't work at all for our little one which contributed once more to the already challenging situation.

[Taron · Rating 5 out of 5]

My bible at the moment! Seriously, I wouldn't have survived the first year of my son's life without this book. I still dip in and out of it whenever I have a problem.

[Heather · Rating 4 out of 5]

How do you make parenting decisions? If you are constantly reacting to situations, doing whatever stops the immediate chaos, you have fallen into what Tracy Hogg calls "accidental parenting." The better alternative is what she deems "P.C." parenting. That is, "patient" and "conscious" parenting.

So much of Hogg's Baby Whisperer advice is spot-on. Her foundational understanding of babies is that they are little people, who ought to be respected as, even talked to, as people. She also understands that these little people need to be acculturated to the family and society in which they dwell. While parents should and must make sacrifices to meet their babies' needs, they also need to start from the very beginning to teach babies their place within the world, as opposed to modern "make them happy" parenting strategies in which everyone and everything is directed toward giving a child momentary contentment.

To this end, Hogg utilizes the catch phrase "begin as you mean to go on" and is not shy about reprimanding parents who have fallen into accidental parenting practices without thinking through the long-term implications. She emphasizes the importance of consistency and trust, without which young children will not thrive. Yet, she is also encouraging that--though it may be harder--it is never too late to teach the good habits that babies and toddlers need.

Hogg's parenting philosophy will suit well those who like a fair amount of structure, who care about good manners, who believe parents should help shape and direct their children, and who are thoughtful in how they approach life.

The one area in which I found her methods a bit hard to take is her concept of the child/parent bond of trust. While I do not dispute the necessity of trust to healthfully raising a child, I have to disagree with some of the things that Hogg believes shatter that trust. She is absolutely against ever leaving a child to cry, even for five minutes. She does offer alternatives that will allow parents to train their children for sleeping, etc. without leaving them alone to cry, but the trade-off is an immense investment of parental patience and much increased timeline for resolving such issues. I find it hard to swallow that controlled, brief times of crying when done for loving reasons will irrevocably break a child's trust of his parents.

With that exception, I appreciated most everything else Hogg presents on routines, feeding, sleeping, behavior, and the like. I could see myself looking at this book (or another of the Baby Whisperer volumes) further down the road when I tackle introducing solids, toilet training, or the terrible twos.