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Letters For My Brothers, Transitional Wisdom in Retrospect
In today's fast paced world, the internet can provide quick answers to personal questions. But when an individual raised by society to live, breathe and look at the world with female eyes transitions to male, some of the most enlightening, helpful and profound advice can only come in retrospect. Letters to my Brothers features essays from respected transmen mentors who share the wisdom they wish they would have known at the beginning of their journey into manhood.
157 pages, Paperback
First published January 1, 2010
28 people are currently reading
621 people want to read
About the author
Megan M. Rohrer
33 books16 followersThe Rev. Dr. Megan Rohrer is a former Bishop in the Lutheran church. They have been honored by the Dalai Lama, were a finalist for the Lambda Literary Award and were featured on Netflix’s Queer Eye. Megan has travelled to more than 49 countries and territories and have written 50 books.
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Displaying 1 - 12 of 12 reviews
June 30, 2011
Letters for My Brothers is one of those books that I agreed to read, but wasn't really sure I wanted to review. It's not that I didn't expect it to be good, or that I felt obligated, or anything negative. Instead, it's that I didn't expect to relate to it, and I was concerned that disconnect might be hard to keep out of a review. After all, when you're going one way on the gender spectrum, it's hard to imagine anybody wanting to go the other way.
Much to my surprise (and delight), I found that connection early on, and realised that many of the themes and concepts being expressed are universal. You don't have to be FTM (female-to-male) to appreciate the struggles and triumphs of the authors here. Heck, you don't even have to be transgendered to appreciate them - we all have at least one significant aspect of our life that we struggle against and worry about, as well as a few secrets that we keep from those we love (as often to protect them as ourselves). On top of all that, the central theme of body image is one of those things that we never really stop thinking about, no matter who we are or how old we get.
These are stories about curiosity, discovery, and realization. They're also stories about exposure, revelation, and condemnation. Each of these authors has truly "been there, done that" and their words of advice and encouragement to the next generation are all the more welcome for it. Some entries are reminiscences on the past, while others are letters written to their past selves. Some are more self-aware than others, but they all demonstrate a tenderness and understanding (and, in many cases, clear frustration) with the young women who once wore their shoes.
There is a strong spiritual presence to the collection - three of the contributors hold a professional role within their respective religions - that initially made me uncomfortable, expecting the worst in where they were heading, but I'm pleased to say their entries were some of my favourites. In fact, if I could have the chance to sit and talk with any of the contributors here, it would be Raven Kaldera, an FTM shaman who lives quite happily with his MTF wife and his FTM partner. His story, and his approach, really spoke to me, and made me pause a number of times to ponder the questions being asked.
It's entirely fitting that the collection ends with a piece entitled Enjoy the Journey by Matt Kailey, because the book itself is a journey, and clearly it's the shared experience that matters. We all have regrets, things we wish we could have done differently, and things we wish we could change about our past selves, but Matt reminds us that those things are part of who we are today, and should be honoured, not discarded. Without them, we wouldn't be who we are today, and for many of these contributors, where they are is precisely where they need to be.
Wise words, from a wonderful collection. Think of it as It Gets Better for the transgender community . . . a message that is always welcome.
Much to my surprise (and delight), I found that connection early on, and realised that many of the themes and concepts being expressed are universal. You don't have to be FTM (female-to-male) to appreciate the struggles and triumphs of the authors here. Heck, you don't even have to be transgendered to appreciate them - we all have at least one significant aspect of our life that we struggle against and worry about, as well as a few secrets that we keep from those we love (as often to protect them as ourselves). On top of all that, the central theme of body image is one of those things that we never really stop thinking about, no matter who we are or how old we get.
These are stories about curiosity, discovery, and realization. They're also stories about exposure, revelation, and condemnation. Each of these authors has truly "been there, done that" and their words of advice and encouragement to the next generation are all the more welcome for it. Some entries are reminiscences on the past, while others are letters written to their past selves. Some are more self-aware than others, but they all demonstrate a tenderness and understanding (and, in many cases, clear frustration) with the young women who once wore their shoes.
There is a strong spiritual presence to the collection - three of the contributors hold a professional role within their respective religions - that initially made me uncomfortable, expecting the worst in where they were heading, but I'm pleased to say their entries were some of my favourites. In fact, if I could have the chance to sit and talk with any of the contributors here, it would be Raven Kaldera, an FTM shaman who lives quite happily with his MTF wife and his FTM partner. His story, and his approach, really spoke to me, and made me pause a number of times to ponder the questions being asked.
It's entirely fitting that the collection ends with a piece entitled Enjoy the Journey by Matt Kailey, because the book itself is a journey, and clearly it's the shared experience that matters. We all have regrets, things we wish we could have done differently, and things we wish we could change about our past selves, but Matt reminds us that those things are part of who we are today, and should be honoured, not discarded. Without them, we wouldn't be who we are today, and for many of these contributors, where they are is precisely where they need to be.
Wise words, from a wonderful collection. Think of it as It Gets Better for the transgender community . . . a message that is always welcome.
March 7, 2022
My review is biased as I feel like all books written by trans folks should be given five stars. Especially because there are so few printed from a “before time”-when trans men were just whispers around the fringe of society. Hearing wisdom from the elders holds a special place in my heart. Most of the advice is: Listen to yourself. Trust yourself.
That advice is always solid. So, as a trans man on the brink of middle age, I hope this books finds younger trans men and again I repeat the wisdom of Trust Yourself.
That advice is always solid. So, as a trans man on the brink of middle age, I hope this books finds younger trans men and again I repeat the wisdom of Trust Yourself.
August 11, 2010
Exceptional transitional wisdom by FTMs for FTMs but gender really isn't the issue. It's a book ALL transfolk should read and without doubt will enjoy.
June 11, 2014
Excellent book. Gives enormous insight into the transitional experience of transmen.
August 21, 2011
I have read many books on transition and this one is my favorite. The book is compromised of several guys' perspective on transition (FTM), what their experience was like, reactions from others, etc. One thing I love about the book is that you can read it cover to cover or you can jump around. Some letters are a few pages and some are longer. If you are someone that has a hard time finishing a book, this one will definitely keep your attention because each perspective is so different. As someone in the early stages of transition, this book gave me the most amount of information in a short period of time and put many of my thoughts and feelings into words. After reading this book, I realize I am not alone. I would highly recommend this to any FTM no matter where they are in transition or to any of their family, friends, therapists, supporters, etc.
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July 5, 2021I borrowed this book from Gender Community Lending Library.
The fourth edition of Letters for My Brothers was published in 2010. I was curious to read it because it predates the so-called 'Transgender Tipping Point' of 2014, which had an enormous impact on trans culture and thought. I was not disappointed: many of the experiences and political ideas described in this book sound outdated in 2021. That is precisely why they are valuable.
Some of the essays are sexist in language or content. The editing is poor, with spelling, grammar and paragraphing errors. Despite this, I would highly recommend the book. If you claim to want to meet your elders, you might do well to read them first.
The fourth edition of Letters for My Brothers was published in 2010. I was curious to read it because it predates the so-called 'Transgender Tipping Point' of 2014, which had an enormous impact on trans culture and thought. I was not disappointed: many of the experiences and political ideas described in this book sound outdated in 2021. That is precisely why they are valuable.
Some of the essays are sexist in language or content. The editing is poor, with spelling, grammar and paragraphing errors. Despite this, I would highly recommend the book. If you claim to want to meet your elders, you might do well to read them first.
August 4, 2020
This book leaves me achy and bittersweet and wiser. This one is not going back on the shelves but will remain at my bedside.
If you are reading this, and can not access this book for some reason or find that it is too expensive, message me on here and I can copy it to you.
Zander Kieg, Aaron Raz Link, Raven Kaldera, and ‘Evan Anderson’ are must-reads for the LGBT+ community.
If you are reading this, and can not access this book for some reason or find that it is too expensive, message me on here and I can copy it to you.
Zander Kieg, Aaron Raz Link, Raven Kaldera, and ‘Evan Anderson’ are must-reads for the LGBT+ community.
April 5, 2023
Read for class- wasn't interested in topic, but it was a good read. Somewhat cliche advice that taken out of book, you wouldn't know it was involving transgender. However, the most I got out of it was the society norms of gender that is pushed upon us.
May 6, 2019
I wish I had read this book sooner.
June 14, 2020
I’ll probably refer to this again
Felt so impactful that I think I’m going to have to come back to it and make notes next time.
Felt so impactful that I think I’m going to have to come back to it and make notes next time.
August 11, 2019
This book includes a variety of perspectives of trans men writing about their transitions. Thought-provoking, insightful and helpful. I’d recommend to all trans folks and allies who want to better understand transition.
Displaying 1 - 12 of 12 reviews