A.’s answer to “How do you deal with writer’s block?” > Likes and Comments
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What sign are you? I'm a Virgo (not just a Sun sign Virgo, I have Mercury, Venus, and Saturn in Virgo as well); what this generally translates to for me is an indescribable amount of self-criticism and perfectionism. These things seem to be in my nature, and are difficult to explain to somebody who has confidence boosting aspects in their chart. It's not that I have nothing I want to write about. More that I have difficulty deciding what to focus on, what to prioritize, and then when I do write, everything seems foolish and not up to my own standards. It becomes almost painful to try to sit down and work on something. It's similar to women having poor body image perhaps. Also, I think receiving basically zero financial gain for my skills as a writer over the years has added to the self-doubt. God, I so fucking don't want to be a college professor, so many poets I know do it and gripe about how they hate it, and yet, how else do you make poetry pay? Greeting cards? No one seems to even send things in the mail anymore...
Also, god, I just scrolled down and saw there's some book written by a woman called, "I will always be your whore." That's when I start not wanting to write. You just feel hopeless. That feels like what get's published by women, all the self objectification and adaptation to men's hatred for women and men's language. I would rather shoot myself in the fucking head than be anybody's whore.
Ah, sorry, I'm new to the whole goodreads thing. So basically, the reason I see that book "I will always be your whore" down there in a list on your page is because you gave it five stars? From what I can gather, this is a collection of poems about a woman's sexual desire, (which, of course, we are required to speak of in terms of our "whoredom") fucking, and Billy Corigan. Understand that, as a woman writer, I am burdened with this expectation of using men's language (which leave me feeling like utter shit about being female) to describe my experiences. It feels, to me, that men publish, support, and praise women who call themselves poet "whore," "booksluts" etc. When I have attempted to write against these things, I have been insulted, made fun of for being thin skinned and overly sensitive, shamed, threatened with never being published again and having my career as a poet impeded (seriously, an editor from Boston Review did that to me), and having poets I thought were my friend refuse to engage with me on the topic at all. Silence. That is a little insight for you as to where my own personal "block" comes from. Try writing in an atmosphere like that (you can't because you're a male). It cannot be PTSD when there is no "post," when the trauma is ongoing, when the expectation that you accept being called a "whore" and are required by a male dominated publishing industry to embrace that label is not a past event, but still happening. It is constantly triggering. Why write? Who will publish a non-whore?? Men want the whore poet. Men want to believe women are whores and men run the planet. Your advice seems geared towards someone who wouldn't have to deal with all this as a writer to get beyond writers block, someone born with a dick.
I hear you, it reads that way, it has a maleness to it. I can see it has triggered a response from you that shows a genuine contempt for the patriarchal structure. I am trying to unlearn a lot of those cues, lived outside of that mainstream my whole life, bu that male role belief system is there, inside me, even after all the work i have done. I will remove the trespass.
Thank you. I appreciate being heard. It's been a rare experience for me. If I complain about women who self identify by all the woman-hating language and patriarchal scripts for sex, I have often been written off. If you don't support women's writing like that, or say something critical of it, one positive thing you can do with male privilege is, people will not make fun of you for it. They will (in general) have more respect for your male opinion, it won't get treated as histrionic, etc.
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Stephanie
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Nov 06, 2014 06:46AM
What sign are you? I'm a Virgo (not just a Sun sign Virgo, I have Mercury, Venus, and Saturn in Virgo as well); what this generally translates to for me is an indescribable amount of self-criticism and perfectionism. These things seem to be in my nature, and are difficult to explain to somebody who has confidence boosting aspects in their chart. It's not that I have nothing I want to write about. More that I have difficulty deciding what to focus on, what to prioritize, and then when I do write, everything seems foolish and not up to my own standards. It becomes almost painful to try to sit down and work on something. It's similar to women having poor body image perhaps. Also, I think receiving basically zero financial gain for my skills as a writer over the years has added to the self-doubt. God, I so fucking don't want to be a college professor, so many poets I know do it and gripe about how they hate it, and yet, how else do you make poetry pay? Greeting cards? No one seems to even send things in the mail anymore...
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Also, god, I just scrolled down and saw there's some book written by a woman called, "I will always be your whore." That's when I start not wanting to write. You just feel hopeless. That feels like what get's published by women, all the self objectification and adaptation to men's hatred for women and men's language. I would rather shoot myself in the fucking head than be anybody's whore.
Ah, sorry, I'm new to the whole goodreads thing. So basically, the reason I see that book "I will always be your whore" down there in a list on your page is because you gave it five stars? From what I can gather, this is a collection of poems about a woman's sexual desire, (which, of course, we are required to speak of in terms of our "whoredom") fucking, and Billy Corigan. Understand that, as a woman writer, I am burdened with this expectation of using men's language (which leave me feeling like utter shit about being female) to describe my experiences. It feels, to me, that men publish, support, and praise women who call themselves poet "whore," "booksluts" etc. When I have attempted to write against these things, I have been insulted, made fun of for being thin skinned and overly sensitive, shamed, threatened with never being published again and having my career as a poet impeded (seriously, an editor from Boston Review did that to me), and having poets I thought were my friend refuse to engage with me on the topic at all. Silence. That is a little insight for you as to where my own personal "block" comes from. Try writing in an atmosphere like that (you can't because you're a male). It cannot be PTSD when there is no "post," when the trauma is ongoing, when the expectation that you accept being called a "whore" and are required by a male dominated publishing industry to embrace that label is not a past event, but still happening. It is constantly triggering. Why write? Who will publish a non-whore?? Men want the whore poet. Men want to believe women are whores and men run the planet. Your advice seems geared towards someone who wouldn't have to deal with all this as a writer to get beyond writers block, someone born with a dick.
I hear you, it reads that way, it has a maleness to it. I can see it has triggered a response from you that shows a genuine contempt for the patriarchal structure. I am trying to unlearn a lot of those cues, lived outside of that mainstream my whole life, bu that male role belief system is there, inside me, even after all the work i have done. I will remove the trespass.
Thank you. I appreciate being heard. It's been a rare experience for me. If I complain about women who self identify by all the woman-hating language and patriarchal scripts for sex, I have often been written off. If you don't support women's writing like that, or say something critical of it, one positive thing you can do with male privilege is, people will not make fun of you for it. They will (in general) have more respect for your male opinion, it won't get treated as histrionic, etc.
