Amy’s Comments (group member since Jul 14, 2020)

Amy’s comments from the Turtle Shell Children Books group.

A must for helping a child who has experienced sexual abuse

An excellent book for parents, children, therapists and all who struggle with the subject of sexual abuse of a child.

Diane Porter

https://www.amazon.com/Scared-Confuse...

When I look deeply into my children's eyes, I see both the past from which they came and the future towards which they are heading. All that I do in life I do to honor those who came before me - my parents and their parents and the parents of my grandparents. I stand on the shoulders of my ancestors and I want them to look down upon me and be proud. When I look toward the future in my children's eyes, I see endless possibilities. I want to create and sustain a world for my children's children and the children of their grandchildren. I hope that the songs, stories and prayers that I learned from those who passed before me will be carried on with those who are yet to come. That is the depth and breath of my inspiration.

Sad, Scared, Confused is a conversation between a nine year old boy and his parents about sexual abuse. This book can be a resource to educate all children about sexual abuse whether they have experienced it or not. In this book, Alex did not realize that when his friend's older brother touched him in a way that made him feel sad, scared and confused, it was sexual abuse. When he arrived home from his friend's house, he was not acting like himself. He went straight to his bedroom and refused to tell his parents what happened. He was scared and embarrassed and wanted to keep it to himself. However, his parents persisted. Through patience, love and even a sense of humor, they assured Alex that their love for him was greater than the pain he was holding inside. Once Alex was willing to talk about it, he grew from feeling sad, scared and confused to knowing that he was brave, safe and loved. I wrote this book not only for children but also for the adults who love them. Parents are always navigating their course when raising children. When sexual abuse happens, it may seem like an unexpected detour but it does not mean that your boat will sink! This book can be a compass to guide you through the rough waters of trauma and sexual abuse.

https://www.amazon.com/Scared-Confuse...

As parents, we are not raising children. We are raising adults. During childhood, I believe parents should give their children room to grow and explore, allow them to fail and support them as they learn from their mistakes. In our home, we have three ground rules posted on the wall: "Be nice to all people and things around you. Think before you do something. And fix your mistakes the best that you can."

As parents or teachers, we do all that we can to keep our children safe. We teach them to look both ways before crossing the street, we make sure they are wearing a helmet before riding their bike and we have provided hours of education and practice before handing them the keys to the car. Yet when it comes to teaching our children about sexual abuse, many parents don't know where to begin; if abuse has occurred, they are even more lost.

WIth children, reading a book together can help open the lines of communication and facilitate what may be the most important conversation a parent has with their child. In reading Sad, Scared, Confused, children will learn to recognize sexual abuse. If they find themselves in a similar situation, they are more likely to identify it as sexual abuse and respond in a way to keep themselves safe.

If you suspect or are aware that abuse has occurred, reading Sad, Scared, Confused with your child can be a significant step towards healing and recovery. They will learn that, like Alex, they are not alone, they did nothing wrong and that it was not their fault. They also will find encouragement in knowing that sharing their experience, as scary as it may seem, will make them feel brave, safe and loved.

Although sexual abuse can be devastating, children can recover and go on to live healthy lives. They can learn how to trust and form healthy relationships as adults without the cloud of sadness, fear and confusion of abuse following them. For our children's sake, it is time to begin the conversation.

The benefits of reading are immense and measurable. In terms of student performance, the children who score 98% in standardized tests are the ones who read an hour per day. (Comparatively, those who read five minutes daily score around the fifth percentile.) Encouraging and supporting your child's reading habit is the single most important act that a parent can do to help their child succeed in school.

Sad, Scared, Confused is a conversation between a nine year old boy and his parents about sexual abuse. This book can be a resource to educate all children about sexual abuse whether they have experienced it or not. In this book, Alex did not realize that when his friend's older brother touched him in a way that made him feel sad, scared and confused, it was sexual abuse. When he arrived home from his friend's house, he was not acting like himself. He went straight to his bedroom and refused to tell his parents what happened. He was scared and embarrassed and wanted to keep it to himself. However, his parents persisted. Through patience, love and even a sense of humor, they assured Alex that their love for him was greater than the pain he was holding inside. Once Alex was willing to talk about it, he grew from feeling sad, scared and confused to knowing that he was brave, safe and loved. I wrote this book not only for children but also for the adults who love them. Parents are always navigating their course when raising children. When sexual abuse happens, it may seem like an unexpected detour but it does not mean that your boat will sink! This book can be a compass to guide you through the rough waters of trauma and sexual abuse.

https://www.amazon.com/Scared-Confuse...