Leam’s Comments (group member since Aug 30, 2024)

Leam’s comments from the Pixie Dust & Prose (INACTIVE AND CLOSED BY HEAD MOD) group.

No worries!

I'm not quite quizzy, but I walked through it. Not sure what "aesthetic" is, in terms of "mine", and I'm "tea and coffee".

Everyone I've interacted with here has been easy to talk to, so no real issues with getting along. Could not find the house descriptions.

📚 Alana (professional book nerd) wrote: "Haha no issue! I guess my main problem is more their lifestyle. Also finding more adjectives that work underwater, figuring out exactly how water affects them specifically."

On the downside, they breathe toilet water. :(

Water carries sound a lot farther, so private conversations are difficult, and it drains heat much faster too. Below certain depths there is a marked reduction in oxygen in the water so life forms change.

In the ocean any current is strong, so you'll drift along unless you anchor yourself. The pressure is nice though, since you're getting the effect of a total body hug. Merfolk who come out of the water may miss that feeling greatly.

The ocean has long been a dumping ground, so that may affect attitudes about air-breathers. Ships leave trails of oil based stains but they tend to float. Probably taste bad if you breathe the water there though.

What if you picked a historical culture you liked and then modified it for underwater?

📚 Alana (professional book nerd) wrote: "Well- umm the main idea of my book is a siren who discovers Atlantis. So, it does have to be underwater… 🥲 although at some points they are on land."

Oh, sorry! I thought you were using the term "underwater" as in mortgage; that there were unsolvable issues.

I used to be a scuba diver, so maybe I can help. What can you tell us?

📚 Alana (professional book nerd) wrote: "Also, side note, my book has MANY underwater scenes and I’m struggling with some of the mechanics of writing them. If anybody has any tips, I’d be grateful!"

It may sound dumb, but don't write them. If the scene doesn't have a serious reason for existing then don't bore yourself or the reader with it. If you need to convey something and planned a scene for it, figure out another place to convey it and do it in a few sentences.

📚 Alana (professional book nerd) wrote: "YESSSS!!!!! I don’t outline at all, instead I write as if I’m the character and sometimes have ideas for the story overall but never plot ahead really.

Also, side note, my book has MANY underwate..."

My first book was written that way and readers say it was confusing about genre and what the story was about. On the second book I did a lot more plotting, but have settled into the skeletal structure I discussed above. With a skeletal structure I have a list of interesting scenes to write and I can write them in any order. What often happens is that I'll start a scene, realize that there are things that need to be set up, so I'll make notes on those and attach them to the skeleton. That also means I always get to write a scene that interests me, it has a purpose and usually an emotion. I really enjoy that.

Evangelise Rose wrote: "Leam: I have written two full closet manuscripts. I am working on outlining my current WIP right now. I am using the Save the Cat method. What method do you use to outline, and is there anything I ..."

I love Chris Vogler's "The Writer's Journey" for story structure. He references Campbell's "Hero with a thousand faces", but Vogler's book is more readable and relatable. He has twelve "stages" in the hero's journey and I write each stage down on one 3x5 card. Usually when I think of a book I jot down note scenes on 3x5 cards or 3x3 sticky notes. If I get a dozen or three notes I know the idea is going to stick with me for a while so I arrange the notes according to the twelve stages. That way I can see where I need to fill in.


The 3x3/3x5 format forces me to focus on the key emotion or view. I use notes on my notes, so the as yet unnamed MC is "the boy", the girl that likes him but knows he has a crush on the popular girl is "the girl". Her dad is "the dad, and her mom is "mom". Here are some for my current WIP:

- in first encounter with demon, boy fights temptation to use blood
- - hunger for power, easy victory
-- dad fights demon with stick

- mom knows wing chun

- he sacrifices self in spell that turns his matter to energy and destroys his foe
- - he knows it will kill him

- he doesn't fight for himself, but so the family who took him in can have a normal life.

- the girl makes him a sandwich, "Your usual order, roast beef, swiss, extra tomato, extra onion, extra lettuce, add horseradish".
- - show that he has patterns and she is watching

- what if family banishes him after first attack?
- - how does this play with their earlier "the least of these" (Matthew 25:34-40) actions?

- meet the mentor stage:
-- dream/memory of old master berating apprentices while boy served food and cleaned up.


That lets me see the story flow and what's missing. The biggest piece of advice I have is to write the entire story you have; beginning, middle, and end. It will be a lousy story and that's okay. There is a shift in self-perception when we "have written a book". It's no longer an unreachable goal but a strong memory. There's a lot of work to make it a *good* book, but it is nonetheless a book. Our book.

@Alana, have been writing YA/NA sci-fi and am now moving to Urban Fantasy. While I write in fairly direct sentences for ease of reading I prefer to deal with difficult subjects that younger readers need help processing. Things like bullying, mental health labels, suicide, and teen pregnancy.

This morning I had a hamburger for breakfast (Gotta love Whataburger!) and realized that the MC in the UF series will come to Christ *because* the father figure, a deacon and good man, fails. Once he sees the older man as human, just like himself, he sees that he isn't too broken to be accepted.

On a different note, it looks like several of you have found the joy of writing and are working on your own stories. I have eight books in the first series, with six self-published and two getting revised. While I'm not a mega star author, I've been through the process. If you have questions, feel free to post them publicly.

Please keep the questions public because my wife and I have promised to avoid private conversations with members of the opposite gender as much as possible. If you really want privacy then see if a mod will join the conversation so there's not just the two of us.

How can I encourage you?

Well...I wanted to write a short father and tomboy daughter bonding story for a friend's daughter. It turned into a theological exploration of "If I truly believe God is who He says he is then how would I change my life?" The book turned into a series. Here's the blurb for the first book.

Backworld tomboy Alba "Al" Domici is an adventurer. With her side-kick Wilbur, Al trains hard, rides her bike like a star fighter, and does repairs after every crash.

Then life spirals out of control. Strangers show up and know everything. Her family isn't quite what she thought. Scratch that, her family is nothing like she thought: the family dog probably has deep, dark secrets. Al crashes every relationship possible and then must face thugs, wearing a dress, mutiny, tough coaches, and weird prophecies from the Mad Knitter.

Someone who "isn't exactly a spy" offers to help, and Al must choose. Should she be like everyone else, or risk being herself?

Now I'm back to planning a contemporary fantasy book which will likely turn into a series because I like continuing with interesting characters.

A content warning of sorts: In Al's culture people become adults at age fourteen and they get to make adult decisions and live adult mistakes. The books deal with tough subjects like bullying, mental health diagnoses, suicide, and teen pregnancy. God is in control and the good guys win, but sometimes you have to walk through darkness to really love the light.

I have a couple of short stories on my website, but the forum doesn't seem to like off-site URLs. Is there another option?

Good morning (it's 0354 as I type this) all!

My second post here and I think the stormy weekend means I'll be outlining my next series and thinking of questions to ask you about your favorites contemporary fantasy tropes and how to make the main character's life even more difficult.

Anyone like contemporary fantasy?

Hey all, my first post here. My sci-fi series starts with Agent; tomboy Alba "Al" Domici finds out her family is nothing like she thought and she is challenged to be her real self.

The series is laid out chronologically at domiciwar.net and follows Al from backworld nobody to interstellar hero as she goes from hating her life, to almost liking it, then surrendering to God and sacrificing herself in a no win rescue.

The writing is clean (Al uses the word "Hell" once, but in reference to the specific place), the women are strong, and God moves throughout the books. However, be advised that the topics aren't light; the books deal with bullies, mental health diagnoses, teen pregnancy, suicide, and self-sacrifice.

And chocolate. Lots of chocolate.