Erik’s Comments (group member since Nov 15, 2021)

Erik’s comments from the Beta Reader Group group.

Thank you for feedback!

Hi everyone!

I’ve sent my query letter to many agents, and have yet to receive any interest. So, I’m assuming my query letter must not be good. I have fixed and changed my query letter five times, and am hoping for some feedback on the latest version. Any feedback or suggestions would be greatly appreciated!

Dear ________,

I am writing to seek representation for my 90,000 word speculative historical fiction novel, Black Aquarium. Mixing elements of historical fiction, social commentary, and suspense, my novel explores the haunting legacy of racism in America and the enduring quest for justice through the lens of time travel and alternate history.

In the summer of 2020, Terrell Green, a black security guard in Atlanta, is struggling with systemic racism and disillusionment in his personal and professional life. His life is set into disarray when a violent confrontation leaves him for dead in the Chattahoochee River. Terrell awakens in an alternate 1845 America, where the roles of master and slave are shockingly reversed: black people own white slaves. Struggling to understand his new reality and find a way back to his family, Terrell encounters the enigmatic Mosi family, whose secrets unexpectedly intertwine with his own fate.

As Terrell navigates this upside down version of history, his presence inadvertently ignites a fierce quest for freedom and justice within the Mosi family and their white slaves, culminating in a harrowing escape attempt. Confronted with the brutal legacy of slavery and the unyielding human spirit, Terrell’s journey through time becomes a powerful narrative of survival, resilience, and the relentless pursuit of equality.

Black Aquarium will appeal to readers of Octavia Butler’s Kindred and Colson Whitehead’s The Underground Railroad, combining speculative elements with a deeply human story that resonates with contemporary social issues.

About me: I am a 33 year-old teacher currently pursuing my Masters in Educational Leadership. Outside of teaching and studying, I am passionate about writing fiction, following sports, and discovering new binge-worthy shows. In October 2021, I self-published my debut book, "Between Light and Shadow," a horror anthology.

I am actively querying other agents for Black Aquarium while seeking opportunities for publication. Thank you for considering my manuscript, and I look forward to your response

I appreciate the offer, but I’m looking for a free beta reader.

Hi everyone!

I’ve had an amazing beta reader for my novel: BLACK AQUARIUM on here, and I’m looking for another beta reader interested in reading my manuscript since I’ve gone back and fixed some errors and included some of the recommendations. I will leave a brief synopsis of BLACK AQUARIUM below:

In the tumultuous backdrop of a global pandemic and the peak of the Black Lives Matter movement, Terrell Green, a black security guard from Atlanta, Georgia finds himself searching for purpose. When racial tensions boil over, Terrell becomes the victim of a brutal attack.

Left unconscious, Terrell awakens in an alternate America in 1845, where roles are reversed: blacks are the slaveholders, and whites are enslaved. As Terrell navigates this bewildering reality, he becomes a symbol of hope for those seeking to overturn the oppressive system.

Now, Terrell must find a way back to his own time, reunite with his family, and prevent those who once looked to him for change from turning against him. Will he succeed in returning home, or will he remain trapped in a perilous past forever?

I have seen the posts about the influx of spammers/scammers, so if you are interested in beta reading, please be able to prove that you are legit.

Thanks!

Erik

Hi everyone!

I’m looking for a beta reader for my manuscript “BLACK AQUARIUM”. I’ve had a few beta readers in the past and have gotten very positive feedback, however, I haven’t had any luck when it comes to agents. So, I’m back to seeking more fresh eyes with fresh opinions on how to better my novel. I’ll leave a blurb below:

In the tumultuous backdrop of a global pandemic and the peak of the Black Lives Matter movement, Terrell Green, a black security guard from Atlanta, Georgia finds himself searching for purpose. When racial tensions boil over, Terrell becomes the victim of a brutal attack by white supremacists.
Left unconscious, Terrell awakens in an alternate America in 1845, where roles are reversed: blacks are the slaveholders, and whites are enslaved. As Terrell navigates this bewildering reality, he becomes a symbol of hope for those seeking to overturn the oppressive system.
Now, Terrell must find a way back to his own time, reunite with his family, and prevent those who once looked to him for change from turning against him. Will he succeed in returning home, or will he remain trapped in a perilous past forever?

If interested, please respond letting me know and we can set up the best way for you to read and provide feedback.

Thanks,

Erik

Hey everyone!

I’m looking for a beta reader/s for my manuscript BLACK AQUARIUM. I’ve had a few betas that have given very positive feedback on the manuscript, which I’ve used their inputs to improve the story, but am still looking for more. I’ll leave a quick pitch for my manuscript below:

In the midst of a global pandemic and the height of the Black Lives Matter movement, Terrell Green, a black security guard from Atlanta, Georgia, finds himself adrift, searching for purpose. With racial tensions reaching a boiling point in America, Terrell becomes the victim of a harrowing encounter with a group of white supremacists.
Following a brutal attack that leaves him unconscious, Terrell awakens in an alternate America in the year 1845. This America is starkly different, where blacks are the slaveholders, and whites are enslaved. However, there exist those who yearn to free the enslaved and they turn to Terrell who has spoken of a place where equality reigns - Atlanta.
Now, Terrell must navigate this strange America, find a way back to his own time, and reunite with his family before those that look toward him for change turn against him. Will Terrell succeed in finding his way home, or will he remain trapped in a perplexing and potentially perilous past forever?

If interested, please let me know! I look forward to sharing my story with you!

Erik

Hi Isabella! I am reaching out to see if you interested in beta reading my 90k adult fiction manuscript: BLACK AQUARIUM. I will leave a blurb down below.

During the inception of a global pandemic, and the height of the Black Lives Matter movement, Terrell Green, a black security guard from Atlanta, Georgia finds himself lost. Lost in life, and lost in purpose. With racial tension at the highest it’s been in America since the Civil Rights Movement, Terrell finds himself on the unfortunate end of a run-in with members of the Ku Klux Klan.
After an attack on him and his family leaves him unconscious, Terrell wakes up in the year 1845 in an alternate America. An America where blacks own slaves and whites obey their masters. However, there are those that oppose slavery and are willing to do anything to set the enslaved free. Thus, they turn to Terrell who has spoken of a place where everyone lives as equals - Atlanta. Unfortunately, in their timeline, such a place doesn’t exist.
Now, Terrell must find a way to get back to his own time and reunite with a family he can only hope are safe before those that rely on him turn against him. Will Terrell be able to find his way home, or will he be trapped in a strange, and potentially dangerous past forever?

If interested, please respond and we can connect so that I can provide you with the manuscript in a way that works best for you.

Thanks!

Erik

If you are looking for a beta reader who is going to dedicate and provide time and valuable feedback, look no farther than Susi! I provided Susi with my 87k novel, and within 1 week she had the story read, updated me periodically on her progress, did her own research to educate herself on the topics of the story, and provided me with a detailed report on her overall thoughts and suggestions after reading. Everything about Susi always felt genuine. As a beta reader, I cannot recommend Susi enough!

Hi!

I’ve currently revamped my synopsis for my manuscript BLACK AQUARIUM a number of times and am looking for some feedback. If interested in providing feedback, please let me know! I will provide the synopsis for those who show interest.

Thanks!!

I think the audience can be anybody. My goal is to just write the best story possible. There are scenes that contain racist language, but if you’re okay with that then I’d be happy to share.

Part 1 is a little under 25k words.

Hi everyone!

I’m looking for a few beta readers for my adult fiction manuscript BLACK AQUARIUM. The manuscript is broken into 3 parts, and I would first like betas to only read through part 1. If still interested (which would be an amazing thing) I can then provide the rest of the manuscript. I’ll provide an overview of the story below:

During the inception of a global pandemic, and the height of the Black Lives Matter movement, Terrell Green, a black security guard from Atlanta, Georgia finds himself lost. Lost in life, and lost in purpose. With racial tension at the highest it’s been in America since the Civil Rights Movement, Terrell finds himself on the unfortunate end of a run-in with members of the Ku Klux Klan.

After an attack on him and his family leaves him unconscious, Terrell wakes up in the year 1845 in an alternate America. An America where blacks own slaves and whites obey their masters. However, there are those that oppose slavery and are willing to do anything to set the enslaved free. Thus, they turn to Terrell who has spoken of a place where everyone lives as equals: Atlanta. Unfortunately, in their timeline, such a place doesn’t exist.

Now Terrell must find a way to get back to his own time and reunite with a family he can only hope are safe before those that rely on him turn against him. Will Terrell be able to find his way home, or will he be trapped in a strange, alternate past forever?

If interested, please DM me on here.

Thanks in advance!!

Hi everyone! I'm currently looking for a beta reader for my 82k word YA novel titled: Blood of the Renegade. The novel has gone through multiple edits and I am looking more or less for feedback about the plot, pacing, and characters (both good and/or bad). I will leave a synopsis for the manuscript below:

Fresh off of the trauma of losing his mother, Ethan Seir is relocated from Michigan to live with his aunt in California. It is during this time that Ethan meets his paternal uncle, Vincent Seir, who informs Ethan that he has the blood of demons running through his veins. While learning the truth about his family and himself, Ethan attempts to balance the peculiarities of his new life with the regularities of being a teenager. It is during school that he befriends and develops a relationship with Caeli Raziel, a gorgeous, green-eyed girl who happens to be an angel. Among the various pieces of information taught to him by his uncle, Ethan learns that relationships between angels and demons are forbidden and has been prophesied to bring about Armageddon...The end of the world. Choosing each other over the fate of the world, the two teens decide to run away and live a life on the run where they are hunted by their own families as well as other sinister beings.

Blood of the Renegade, a fantasy young adult novel, is the story of Ethan’s self-discovery and his yearning to be loved and accepted, even if it comes from the one person in the world who could get him killed. It’s a journey of death, love, betrayal, and acceptance that showcases the 1980’s while mixing in the existence of celestial beings living hidden lives among the everyday man and woman. It’s about the strength of young love and the perilous obstacles Ethan and Caeli are willing to endure to maintain the serenity that they provide for one another. Sometimes the most dangerous people are the ones that we love the most…

Please let me know if you are interested in being a beta reader and the best way to contact you.

Thanks!

DJ wrote: "Erik wrote: "@DJ_Matthews - what is the best way for me to contact you?"
Sen
Send me a DM for contact info."
I tried DM'ing you, but it says that you're not accepting messages.

@DJ_Matthews - what is the best way for me to contact you?

Hi everyone! I'm currently looking for a beta reader for my 82k word YA novel titled: Blood of the Renegade. The novel has gone through multiple edits and I am looking more or less for feedback about the plot, pacing, and characters (both good and/or bad). I will leave a synopsis for the manuscript below:

Fresh off of the trauma of losing his mother, Ethan Seir is relocated from Michigan to live with his aunt in California. It is during this time that Ethan meets his paternal uncle, Vincent Seir, who informs Ethan that he has the blood of demons running through his veins. While learning the truth about his family and himself, Ethan attempts to balance the peculiarities of his new life with the regularities of being a teenager. It is during school that he befriends and develops a relationship with Caeli Raziel, a gorgeous, green-eyed girl who happens to be an angel. Among the various pieces of information taught to him by his uncle, Ethan learns that relationships between angels and demons are forbidden and has been prophesied to bring about Armageddon...The end of the world. Choosing each other over the fate of the world, the two teens decide to run away and live a life on the run where they are hunted by their own families as well as other sinister beings.

Blood of the Renegade, a fantasy young adult novel, is the story of Ethan’s self-discovery and his yearning to be loved and accepted, even if it comes from the one person in the world who could get him killed. It’s a journey of death, love, betrayal, and acceptance that showcases the 1980’s while mixing in the existence of celestial beings living hidden lives among the everyday man and woman. It’s about the strength of young love and the perilous obstacles Ethan and Caeli are willing to endure to maintain the serenity that they provide for one another. Sometimes the most dangerous people are the ones that we love the most…

Please let me know if you are interested in being a beta reader and the best way to contact you.

Thanks so much!