Gavin’s Comments (group member since Feb 13, 2012)

Gavin’s comments from the Ask Gavin Atlas (almost) anything group.

THANK YOU for that information. That website looks fantastic!

A friend said a while ago that, from Love and Rockets, it seemed like I knew a fair amount about wax play. Had I experienced it and what do I think?

First, yes, and I think the feeling is pretty darn good, but also, no, I didn't have ENOUGH experience with wax play or enough knowledge to feel I could write about it without doing some research.

I wanted to ensure I wasn't having my characters do something unrealistic or dangerous, and as usual, wikipedia was a great help. The only thing I remember clearly now was discovering the importance of using regular paraffin candles instead of beeswax. Beeswax melts at a higher temperature and apparently can cause bad burns.

Why does it feel good? Hmm, I don't know. This sounds silly but I feel people put up with hot basalt stone treatments and being whipped with dried branches at spas because it feels so much better when they stop. I've never had either done, so I wouldn't know, but nearly every massage I've had, I've thought "Yow, this hurts. I hope it ends very soon. Oh, thank goodness it's over." As if, for example, you start in neutral and then introduce a pain agent that takes you noticeably below neutral. Removal of the pain agent, however, feels better than neutral, possibly because stress, excitation, or physical exertion can release endorphins, or so I've read.

There are also elements of trust and exploration, and the texture of warm wax can sometimes feel soothing as can a candle's fragrance.

The only other thing I think I know is what Toby tells Leo in Love and Rockets - "Hold the candle a bit higher." Even a tiny fraction of a second can cool the wax enough so it feels good instead of bad.

:)

A.B. wrote: "After reading blogs by guys who talk about the real scene and read blogs like "Breeder" I can see how not only is putting on a condom mood kill..."

I think you've hit it on the head. Mentioning the presence of condoms leads to thoughts of why condoms are necessary which often leads to more depressing thoughts. It's a reality no onlikes, and I can see the perspective of those who view HIV as not the threat it once was. Perhaps treating it with the same level of fear or caution as in the past is to give the disease (and perhaps its stigma?) too much power.

However, when thinking about my own writing, there's no denying that my characters tend to be promiscuous. I often want to show them happy with that choice, and hopefully, not foolishly so. Therefore, perhaps it's important to show them taking care of themselves and their partners.

Okay, a friend wanted to know the answer to this, and the underlying sentiment is that he wished they weren't there. First, I am aware that probably close to a million percent of the population thinks bareback is hotter, but I'd rather portray safety in case someone out there is reading my stuff and thinking he wants to be just like my character. Actually, a new author friend of mine has encouraged me to keep that up for just that reason. I can think of one scene where no condoms are mentioned, and that was a tough decision, but condoms would have been utterly unrealistic. Also, I can think of two scenes where I use the refusal to wear a condom as a device to show that the top is not a good guy. Both of those scenes are interrupted by rescuing heroes. :)

If you have a question, but don't want to ask in here, you can e-mail me at gavinatlas@sbcglobal.net.