“Macclesfield was like a wound I couldn't stop picking. I didn't know if I'd ever heal or if my constant pulling at the scab would leave me open to infection but I did know I had to keep doing it. I had to find out what lay beneath each layer of skin even if it meant that I felt more and more pain. It could have been another form of self harm or it could have been a part of my journey I just had to make.
Either way I was compelled to continue. Could I get Jodie and Jonathon back?
Could I see them playing again?
Would Courtney accept me into her family?
Perhaps I'd belong there until I got my family back together?
Okay so I couldn't grow up with Alan as I'd liked but I could try and fit in with Clive and Phil. The thought hurt, I could easily turn to crime but how would that help with the social services?”