“In removing the conductor, I presumed that I did not need him, that I could do his job, that any set of whimsically concocted guidelines could replace his expertise. Without the conductor, there was no room for me to feel bad when I failed to meet any superimposed standards. There was also no guidance, no voice to inform me of imminent danger or to save me from it, no one to help me correct my path or understand what was going on around me, and why.”