“to be a good advisor, you have to set aside your own personal opinions and feelings in a kind of detachment or camouflage – since self-interest is incompatible with objectivity – and avoid the limelight. Maintained over years, this steady, watchful, guarded attitude had become a way of life for me – one in which I constantly looked out for pitfalls, anticipated threats coming over the horizon, and readied myself to move and adapt at a moment’s notice and melt from the picture. Was it possible that that I had blended too much into the background of my own life… blurring my own identity”