“SIMPLICITY
That's what's been missing from my life: simplicity. Slowly but
surely I'm beginning to change.
For example, these days I never leave my house without taking my
bed along. If a woman passes by and catches my eye, I take her to bed
immediately.
If her ears and nose are ugly or too big, I remove them along with
her clothes and put them under the bed, ready for her to take back
when she leaves; I keep only what I like.
If she could use a change of undergarments, I arrange it. It's my
gift. If, however, I see a prettier woman walk by, I voice my regrets to
the first and poof! she disappears.
Some people who know me claim that I can't do what I've just
described, that I haven't got the balls. Well, that may have been true in
the past, but that was when I wasn't doing everything exactly the way I
like it.
Now I always enjoy my afternoons. (Mornings I work.)”