“I was worried that I was already a failure. At which point my friend said, “What are you trying to win?” What was I trying to win? I thought about it and realized—nothing. There’s nothing to win. There is so much pressure on women around birth and labor and mothering to do it one way or another. It’s so easy to believe the notion that having a baby demands complete and total sacrifice, and anything short of that is not enough. That if you’re not in pain, you’re selfish.”