“Once during a case of stomach flu, I needed to tell the 
doctor I’d been vomiting, but instead of shifting into the imperfect, I 
used the present je vomis (I’m vomiting), then stood up from his desk and mimicked a fake retch. The doctor in question pushed back from 
his seat thinking it was the real thing, only for me to fake retch again 
then say “dans le passé” (in the past), moving my arm as way to signal 
time past. He quickly wrote me a prescription and handed it to me at 
arm’s length. 
”