Nicholas > Nicholas's Quotes

“Evil is relative, Annalist. You can’t hang a sign on it. You can’t touch it or taste it or cut it with a sword. Evil depends on where you are standing, pointing your indicting finger.”
― Glen Cook, The Black Company

“Someday, Locke Lamora,” he said, “someday, you’re going to fuck up so magnificently, so ambitiously, so overwhelmingly that the sky will light up and the moons will spin and the gods themselves will shit comets with glee. And I just hope I’m still around to see it.”
“Oh please,” said Locke. “It’ll never happen.”
― Scott Lynch, The Lies of Locke Lamora

“... It's perfect! Locke would appreciate it."

"Bug," Calo said, "Locke is our brother and our love for him knows no bounds. But the four most fatal words in the Therin language are 'Locke would appreciate it.'"

"Rivalled only by 'Locke taught me a new trick,'" added Galo.

"The only person who gets away with Locke Lamora games ..."

"... is Locke ..."

"... because we think the gods are saving him up for a really big death. Something with knives and hot irons ..."

"... and fifty thousand cheering spectators.”
― Scott Lynch, The Lies of Locke Lamora

“Nice bird, asshole!”
― Scott Lynch, The Lies of Locke Lamora

“There are only three people in life you can never fool--pawnbrokers, whores, and your mother. Since your mother's dead, I've taken her place. Hence, I'm bullshit-proof.”
― Scott Lynch, The Lies of Locke Lamora

“I've got kids that enjoy stealing. I've got kids that don't think about stealing one way or the other, and I've got kids that just tolerate stealing because they know they've got nothing else to do. But nobody--and I mean nobody--has ever been hungry for it like this boy. If he had a bloody gash across his throat and a physiker was trying to sew it up, Lamora would steal the needle and thread and die laughing. He...steals too much.”
― Scott Lynch, The Lies of Locke Lamora

“You can't help being young, but it's past time that you stopped being stupid.”
― Scott Lynch, The Lies of Locke Lamora

“...I'm here on an island in the Caribbean, being told I need to talk to the dolphins in the middle of a labor action about some whales that might have torpedoes, armed by a secret society of villains who want access to a storeroom full of objects probably looted from the victims of the friggin' Nazis and who are maybe willing to blow up -my volcano lair- to get it.”
― John Scalzi, Starter Villain

“Your uncle didn’t make mistakes.” “The note with the berry spoons,” I said. “Your uncle rarely made mistakes,” Morrison amended.”
― John Scalzi, Starter Villain

“Don’t swim with the dolphins during a labor dispute. No matter how much they try to convince you otherwise”
― John Scalzi, Starter Villain

“Oooooh, Northwestern,” Who Gives a Shit said. “Fucking doormat of the Big Ten, you must be very proud.”
― John Scalzi, Starter Villain

“If you’re going that far you could see all animals as having rights,” Seventy-three said. “Whether you think they’re smart or not.” “You eat fish,” I said to him. “True,” Seventy-three said. “Fuck fish.”
― John Scalzi, Starter Villain

“Most of the people I know are ex-journalists like me. They’re either working as bartenders or substitute teachers.” “Which do you do?” “The latter for now. I was hoping to upgrade to the former.”
― John Scalzi, Starter Villain

“What's the n-never-fail universal apology?"

"'I was badly misinformed, I deeply regret the error, go fuck yourself with this bag of money.”
― Scott Lynch, The Republic of Thieves

“Are you smarter than a pig, Locke?”
“On occasion,” said Locke. “There are contrary opinions.”
― Scott Lynch, The Republic of Thieves

“I’m a little overdressed for this, but I think I can compensate by toning down my manners.” “Overdressed for what?” said Jean. “Insulting complete strangers,” said Locke, loosening his neck-cloth. “Got to mind the delicate social nuances when you inform some poor fellow that he’s a dumb motherfucker.”
― Scott Lynch, The Republic of Thieves

“Rules are for children. This is war, and in war the only crime is to lose.”
― Joe Abercrombie, Last Argument of Kings

“Truly, life is the misery we endure between disappointments.”
― Joe Abercrombie, Last Argument of Kings

“I penetrated the outer cell membrane with a nanosyringe."
"You poked it with a stick?"
"No!" I said. "Well. Yes. But it was a scientific poke with a very scientific stick.”
― Andy Weir, Project Hail Mary

“Human beings have a remarkable ability to accept the abnormal and make it normal.”
― Andy Weir, Project Hail Mary

“He puts his claw against the divider. “Fist my bump.”

“Fist-bump. It’s just ‘fist-bump.’”

“Understand.”
― Andy Weir, Project Hail Mary

“Usually you not stupid. Why stupid, question?”
― Andy Weir, Project Hail Mary

“I spend a lot of time un-suiciding this suicide mission.”
― Andy Weir, Project Hail Mary

“Good. Proud. I am scary space monster. You are leaky space blob.”
― Andy Weir, Project Hail Mary

“I hope a shark tries to suck your cock!”
― Scott Lynch, Red Seas Under Red Skies