Terminalcoffee discussion

DEAR MISS MANNERS: I spent a lot of money and hours making dinner for a friend. After she got home, she phoned me and told me that dinner went right through her. I think that is bad manners.

Bad manners? Yea or nay?

I say it is very bad manners. I would never complain if a friend has prepared a meal for me. It doesn't matter what the cost, in time, effort or money.

Yea.

Bad manners, unless the friend was trying to suggest that she got food poisoning and warn the one who made it. It's hard to say that tactfully.

I think I would have said something like "Yikes, after I got home I felt like shit and wanted to give you a heads up. I hope I didn't infect you."
Then if you are a nice host who has also become aware of the problem because the dinner went right through YOU too, you get the opportunity to say something like "No, you don't have the flu. I used rancid meat and poisoned us all. So sorry."

You are welcome to my place for dinner Stina!

If the meal merely sent you to the toilet, don't say anything. If it sent you to the hospital, say something.

And here is Miss Manners' answer:

Dear Miss Manners:

I spent a lot of money and hours making dinner for a friend. After she got home, she phoned me and told me that dinner went right through her. I think that is bad manners.

Gentle Reader:

And an even worse image. If your guest meant to alert you that something might have been wrong with the food, she should have said, "I'm a bit ill, and I don't know what caused it" - and then waited to see if you declared a similar problem.

Otherwise, Miss Manners fails to see how you would be able to distinguish signs of food poisoning in yourself from a reaction to the way she put it.

I sometimes wonder if it's bad manners to write to Miss Manners. The friend might read the story, recognize the situation, and feel embarassed.

I never thought of it that way. Interesting perspective.

janine wrote: "I sometimes wonder if it's bad manners to write to Miss Manners. The friend might read the story, recognize the situation, and feel embarassed."

So then you write, Dear Miss Manners, My friend Petrushka....when your friend's name is actually Thomasina.

Yea, bad manners.

My lil sister's new mother-in-law made some BBQ pork for her rehearsal dinner (amongst a ton of other things made by other people). Half the wedding party almost missed the wedding due to the...ahem...aftermath. It was apparently determined by a process of elimination (what each person that reported a reaction had or had not eaten) to have been the pork. My sister not only told the woman, but insisted that it was the pork when the woman pushed back.

Needless to say, not a good MIL/DIL relationship to date. *coughsounds-hatesher-coughsounds*

Fuck, yes, that's bad manners, if she's not calling from the hospital. She should be glad she has a friend who goes to the trouble of cooking for her.

Wait wait wait . . . is anyone actually named Thomasina anymore?

Short order cooks who give people food poisoning?