Aspiring Authors and more ... discussion

If you have any questions about what your writing, maybe someone will be able to help

So I'm writing a fan fiction, and I just started. Here is part of it. Where do you think it should go from here.

Before I begin I would just like to say that I own nothing. I would like to thank Stephanie Meyer for giving me the idea for this fan fiction, and Christina Perri for writing the song that inspired this fan fiction.

A Thousand Years

Intro

Edward thought that he would never find love. He lives in a family with six other people, and he often felt like the seventh wheel to them. He thought he found love, but wasn't meant to be. He thought he would be forever alone until Alice had a vision that changed his life forever.

Chapter 1: Heart...Beats....Fast

It was a typical rainy day in Portland. Edward had just came home from work, and was feeling very tried.
"Hey," Alice said as Edward come through the door.
"Hey," he replied hanging up his coat.
"So I was thinking you and I could do something tonight", Alice smiled.
"I'm not in the mood", he answered going up the starts to his room. He wasn't really in the mood for a lot of things lately.
"What's your problem lately? You don't seem to want to do anything fun anymore", Alice said following him up the stairs.
"I'm just not in the mood," he snapped shutting the door in his sister's face. He really hated how pushing she could be sometimes, but he still loved her. He just never had the time to do all the things his sister wanted him to do. After a long day of work the last thing he wanted to do was go out. The office put too many cases on his plate for him to want to go out. There were sometime where he had to bring work home with, which made his sister very mad.
The next day at work was just like all the there days. His boss would give him two new cases to work on, but he never had time for them because he wash always work on the ones from the day before.

It's really great fanfiction, maybe a bit more description could be added, even though any twilight fan knows what they look like you could describe exactly where they are etc otherwise keep going

Okay thanks I hope o one day publifpsh it to fanfiction.net

I can already tell it will be amazing when it is done

Yeah I like that I'm blending Tilight ith the song A Thousand Years.

Yeah, that is a great idea, it is one of my favourite songs

Mine too. That's why I named the story A Thousand Year, and the chapters after the lyrics.

Ok... I have an essay due tomorrow. My grade is already an A- but I want an A+! My teacher said that I don't have a separate introduction. She said I started telling about my story already. I don't know how to do a freaking separate intro!! My essay is about an exciting experience. So my topic is when me and my bro got lost in a store. If you guys can't help, I'm fine with that! :) I'll take a A-!!! =D

In your intro you should talk about getting lost, but not the topic. The intro hold get the mood for the paper.

yeah just a short intro about what happened but don't give away exactly what happened

K, thanks!! I'll try that! =D

Your welcome. Hope you get a good grade on your paper

I was wanting to figure out how i should write this story, so there's a question I was gonna ask:
When you read a book from a first person viewpoint, do you prefer it to be past or present tense?

past tense, plus i have tried writing in present and it throws more challenges. If you are conferden though go for it

k, thanks!

I need a short, simple, but descriptive way to describe this boy. Any ideas?