NaNoWriMo Support Group discussion

Lemony Snicket’s Pep Talk

Dear Cohort,
Struggling with your novel? Paralyzed by the fear that it’s nowhere near good enough? Feeling caught in a trap of your own devising? You should probably give up.
For one thing, writing is a dying form. One reads of this every day. Every magazine and newspaper, every hardcover and paperback, every website and most walls near the freeway trumpet the news that nobody reads anymore, and everyone has read these statements and felt their powerful effects. The authors of all those articles and editorials, all those manifestos and essays, all those exclamations and eulogies – what would they say if they knew you were writing something? They would urge you, in bold-faced print, to stop.
Clearly, the future is moving us proudly and zippily away from the written word, so writing a novel is actually interfering with the natural progress of modern society. It is old-fashioned and fuddy-duddy, a relic of a time when people took artistic expression seriously and found solace in a good story told well. We are in the process of disentangling ourselves from that kind of peace of mind, so it is rude for you to hinder the world by insisting on adhering to the beloved paradigms of the past. It is like sitting in a gondola, listening to the water carry you across the water, while everyone else is zooming over you in jetpacks, belching smoke into the sky. Stop it, is what the jet-packers would say to you. Stop it this instant, you in that beautiful craft of intricately-carved wood that is giving you such a pleasant journey.
Besides, there are already plenty of novels. There is no need for a new one. One could devote one’s entire life to reading the work of Henry James, for instance, and never touch another novel by any other author, and never be hungry for anything else, the way one could live on nothing but multivitamin tablets and pureed root vegetables and never find oneself craving wild mushroom soup or linguini with clam sauce or a plain roasted chicken with lemon-zested dandelion greens or strong black coffee or a perfectly ripe peach or chips and salsa or caramel ice cream on top of poppyseed cake or smoked salmon with capers or aged goat cheese or a gin gimlet or some other startling item sprung from the imagination of some unknown cook. In fact, think of the world of literature as an enormous meal, and your novel as some small piddling ingredient – the drawn butter, for example, served next to a large, boiled lobster. Who wants that? If it were brought to the table, surely most people would ask that it be removed post-haste.
Even if you insisted on finishing your novel, what for? Novels sit unpublished, or published but unsold, or sold but unread, or read but unreread, lonely on shelves and in drawers and under the legs of wobbly tables. They are like seashells on the beach. Not enough people marvel over them. They pick them up and put them down. Even your friends and associates will never appreciate your novel the way you want them to. In fact, there are likely just a handful of readers out in the world who are perfect for your book, who will take it to heart and feel its mighty ripples throughout their lives, and you will likely never meet them, at least under the proper circumstances. So who cares? Think of that secret favorite book of yours – not the one you tell people you like best, but that book so good that you refuse to share it with people because they’d never understand it. Perhaps it’s not even a whole book, just a tiny portion that you’ll never forget as long as you live. Nobody knows you feel this way about that tiny portion of literature, so what does it matter? The author of that small bright thing, that treasured whisper deep in your heart, never should have bothered.
Of course, it may well be that you are writing not for some perfect reader someplace, but for yourself, and that is the biggest folly of them all, because it will not work. You will not be happy all of the time. Unlike most things that most people make, your novel will not be perfect. It may well be considerably less than one-fourth perfect, and this will frustrate you and sadden you. This is why you should stop. Most people are not writing novels which is why there is so little frustration and sadness in the world, particularly as we zoom on past the novel in our smoky jet packs soon to be equipped with pureed food. The next time you find yourself in a group of people, stop and think to yourself, probably no one here is writing a novel. This is why everyone is so content, here at this bus stop or in line at the supermarket or standing around this baggage carousel or sitting around in this doctor’s waiting room or in seventh grade or in Johannesburg. Give up your novel, and join the crowd. Think of all the things you could do with your time instead of participating in a noble and storied art form. There are things in your cupboards that likely need to be moved around.
In short, quit. Writing a novel is a tiny candle in a dark, swirling world. It brings light and warmth and hope to the lucky few who, against insufferable odds and despite a juggernaut of irritations, find themselves in the right place to hold it. Blow it out, so our eyes will not be drawn to its power. Extinguish it so we can get some sleep. I plan to quit writing novels myself, sometime in the next hundred years.
–Lemony Snicket

(( More will be added soon! ))

How do you EVER get over a bad critique?
I've been writing novels for a year, and have so far written four , all unpublished so far. I have redrafted the first draft of my novel five or six times, and also sent it around to some friends and family members who were willing to proof read it, with detailed instructions as to what was to be proof read, and not just a"can you read my novel please? " request.
I have also joined two Internet- based critique groups: Inked Voices and Scribophile, for which I critique work on a daily basis, and also regularly submit my own work for critique (although some of it really really gets looked up, especially in Inked Voices). I am starting to take it personally that people don't always look at my work and/critique it, when I always critique work that comes my way whether I really like the writing style or genre or not, and I am NEVER as harsh as some people have been with me.
I am constantly reading books, and not just those in my genres, which so far are urban fantasy for children, and young adult fiction, although I also want to write women's fiction in the very near future.
I have a couple of writing advice books: Write Good or Die edited by Scott Nicholson and No Novel No Problem by Chris Baty (the founder of NaNoWriMo.) I have also participated in, and won , NaNoWriMo and Camp NaNoWriMo twice each (2013 and 2014 for regular nano and April and July 2014 for Camp).
So far, the general consensus from people who have critiqued my work is "great characterisation/believability/grammar and spelling/plot ideas" , but that I " need to improve the readability and some plot areas to make it more compelling, and cut down on large descriptions. "
I'm concentrating so far on getting my first novel, the first in an urban fantasy trilogy which could be read by anyone, but that is primarily aimed at the 9 to 12 age group ready for publication.
I have been working on it for just over a year, and doing countless rereads and edits myself in addition to the ones other people have done for me. I don't have anyone directly involved in the writing/publishing industries in my family, so has been difficult for me to get very constructive feedback from them, although in general they are quite encouraging. An added problem I have is not having the money on hand to pay an editor, which is what a lot of people have advised me to do
. Back in April/May time this year, I started a campaign to raise money for editing and publishing my book, but I did not raise nearly as much as I needed to (in all, I only raised a couple of hundred pounds, and I learned early on that paid services can be expensive. )
People in both of the critique groups I am in are welcoming, but have also reacted differently to my work. I have had people on the one hand saying that they like my work, and others on the other hand saying that they don't, and getting very personal about it , for example, yesterday I had someone in Scribophile basically say that I don't know how to write a book, and I have to learn to write one. I do not know this person personally, and I responded letting her know that although the work I have posted for critique is from the first novel I ever wrote, she ought to cut me some slack because I have other novels, and have written others since. In fact, I have written four in just a year. She reacted by not exactly saying sorry, but congratulating me on the amount of books I have written in a short time. I don't know whether to take that as an apology or not.
I recognise that a draft is not going to be perfect the first time, and possibly not even the sixth time, but what people need to learn is to not get at people so personally. What they don't realise, is that every day I am working hours to pursue my dream and goal of being a published author, and that I am constantly thinking about, and working on, my book
Another person basically said " it's not that you can't write, you can, you are, but it needs to be better."
Outside of my high school exams, which I passed first time in English and well, (I got a B in English language and a B in English literature), I have also taken a short online course on creative writing run by udemy, and also taking a course on writing prompts run by a small creative writing school local to where I live.
I adore writing I am doing what I can to improve my writing skills with the budget I have available, which is not very much as I have physical disabilities and a high level of medical needs that need to be catered for, and time and time again I get physically upset by the critiques that I get at the moment this is not good for my health.
How can I improve my writing, and not let bad critiques get to me? I really want to grow as a writer and I want my writing to get better over time, because my ultimate goal is to publish my first book next year at the latest, because then I would been working on the same book for near enough two years.
Some people have said that the time I have been working on it now is not long enough, that they have been working on the same book for four years, but I really do not know how long a person should work on the same book for , and when, and how, to judge when it is ready for publication.
I realise that next year is really not far off now, but I really want to improve significantly between now and then in my writing so that I have a better chance of publishing, although it would be great if I could publish before the end of this year, but I'm not sure whether that would be feasible or possible.
At the moment, people are doubting the publishability of my work.

The people who like my work seem to think that it is nearly ready for publishing, and will be at least with some changes. I like to think that too , and I do, but I am really concerned about publishing something that is possibly going to get bad critiques from the outset if it is not more formatted . This is something people in both critique groups I am in have warned me about. Are they right to warn me about this? Is it true that something like that could happen? How likely is it? Would I be wiser to improve my writing before publishing it or just take the plunge and publish? Or could it be possible that they are just saying things like that of jealousy, or that they want me to fail as an author? I seem to think that some people are
I've asked these types of questions already in the critique groups, and I've got a variety of answers, so I thought I would ask in here to see if ask you to see if anyone's got any more useful insight and advice for me.
Deep down, I know I've got the possibility and potential to be a great author, but so far, unfortunately the guidance I have got is not really helping me go in the direction that I would want to go, and that is towards publication. I am not even sure if people who criticise my work and my ability as an author criticise it because they know that I have disabilities and they think that because of that might work will not be very good, even though I am a very hard worker, and intelligent, or whether they are criticising it because they want me to be a better author and be successful. To be honest, it's really hard to know. I need advice on this and everything I have said in this post.

I'd be really grateful if you could also suggest some writing advice books and websites I might find useful to help me on my journey as an author. I've been told by many people who value me and my work that I am on the right track, and that I am doing the right things. This leads me to ask: So why am I not getting better critiques? Does a critique really reflect the writers ability, and give potential readers an indication of this so that they are more likely to readand/or buy a book? I've always wondered about this, because I rate a lot of the books that I read.