2013 Clutch Reading Challenge discussion

Two ideas really spoke to me in the introduction and first chapter of this book: The idea of the crooked room or "A person or group of people can suffer real damage, real distortion, if the people or society around them mirror back to them a confining or demeaning or contemptible picture of themselves." This. All day long, this. Also strong was the point that society believes black women should be self-sacrificing.

Since I'm working on this book about black women and relationships/marriage, these chapters really made clear for me how much both of these ideas are present in discussion about black women and marriage.

Also, I want to frame The Bridge Poem and read it every morning!

I had the mind to send the Bridge Poem to my colleagues. It is true that the mirror back to you that is demeaning can be reflected in your attitudes and actions. We were discussing this at work and some of my colleagues don't get out for students and employees of color, perception and then subsequent interactions are important.

The bridge poem is everything! I loved the crooked room metaphor, even Harris pointed out that each and everyone of us is struggling to stand up straight or to realign the room. I think that speaks loudly to my generation (im 23, fresh out of college). Girls my age have trouble embracing the pure, social oriented women as well the sexually free, self loving women (ie your well-being, interests, desires are a priority). If you're on either end you're an extremity. Yet balancing both gets messy. I feel for myself and other women thats where the crooked room becomes a spinning room. It becomes a struggle to get out rather than finding which way is the right up.

Lex said: Girls my age have trouble embracing the pure, social oriented women as well the sexually free, self loving women (ie your well-being, interests, desires are a priority). If you're on either end you're an extremity

What a statement! I work with young ladies between the ages of 18-23 and I see it daily. I use my position to encourage them to be themselves and that their worth is not measured by what others think. I use my life experiences as examples to do such...I think part of the problem is women my age (43) tend to act like we were never or aren't in the crooked room ourselves.

Crystal wrote: I think part of the problem is women my age (43) tend to act like we were never or aren't in the crooked room ourselves.

Coming from my experiences, that is something I yearn for at times. I know I can personally say if I had that woman in my life as a guide to the crooked room, then maybe I could have had less slip ups or better ways to cope with my own experience in the crooked room. However society wants every black women to be a Claire Huxtable or a Michelle Obama so our weaknesses, mistakes and alternative perspectives become secondary. That alone creates conflict with our complexities as black women.

Your comment definitely alludes to the chapter on shame, which plays a huge role on why we can't seem to stand up straight in the crooked room.

The Bridge poem was validating, and just what I needed at the moment.

I also really appreciated the crooked room metaphor, and am still sitting with how I've seen this metaphor in my, and other Black women's lives. I'm also considering what it means to be a Black woman trying to, and/or successfully, standing up straight in the crooked room.
Black women "standing up straight" in the crooked room/society is a burden in itself... It is something else we have to take on in order to claim and maintain our citizenship.

The Crooked Room metaphor really "did it for me". I asked myself "Am I mad because someone put me in the crooked room or that I don't know how or can not straighten myself?" It was weird. The idea that someone was smart enough to use me as a lab mouse and say "Find your way" compelled me. Yet, the inability to notice that I may have been crooked all this time cahllenges me to reevaluate my surroundings and how I adapt.

Where can I find the "Crooked Room"? Is it a part of Sister Citizen?

I am enjoying the book so far. I find myself nodding my head, saying amen, and underlining quite frequently as I read. As a avid read of classic African American literature, I appreciate Perry engaging with the words of African American women throughout the book. The "crooked room" is a theme that I have been thinking so much about now. I, too, identified with "The Bridge Poem" and have been reading it to my friends. I have many more comments about the book, but will save them until everyone is further along.

I was/am intrigued by the ideas in the section of 'The Politics of Recognition' in Chapter One. The connection of misrecognition and the politics of citizenry and democracy were interesting to me. I'm looking forward to more information regarding "what resources black women use for psychic self defense and how successful they are" as well as more on "sister politics" - "challenging negative inages, managing degradation, and resisting or accommodating humiliating public representations". Also, using literature - "Their Eyes Were Watching God" and "For Colored Girls..." to underscore ideas, Melissa Harris-Perry makes this a very enjoyable read. The 'Crooked Room' is a excellent analogy for a pathology that, unfortunately, we are all way too familiar with.

I am enjoying this book! It is amazing how we view and judge ourselves!

I am enjoying this book! It is amazing how we view and judge ourselves!

Greta, the mammy was interesting and shocking. Shocking in that I possess a lot of the traits of the mammy; traits I thought was the good in me until this reading.

I finished the book, I never heard of a Sapphire before and I am fascinated by it. That's my stereotype. My room is crooked and now I have had it explained to me in a way that is understandable.
All three types have pros and cons - how can we get our views out there in the mainstream and turn a potential negative into a positive?

I have heard of a sapphire, but hadn't ever researched the concept. I look forward to that part.

I found myself nodding to so much in "The Crooked Room". I think it is the perfect way to explain my experience. I had also never heard the Term Sapphire to used to describe the common angry black women stereotype until reading the book.