My Prison Without Bars
question
Was I too graphic?
Taylor
Feb 01, 2013 08:18AM
This novel has been tagged a difficult read, dark and graphic, but a "must read." Originally, the first 10 chapters were actually censored and sugar-coated, comprising only 8 chapters in the book.
Then Penn State happened...Jerry Sandusky happened. The school, the fans, the country was outraged at the stance taken against the university. Interviews with the victims were censored. I was enraged! How could people not know that the damage inflicted by that monster is forever? How could the public not feel the desolation these children felt and still feel long after the abuse had stopped?
Then I realized why. Your imagination cannot fathom their reality...my reality! I deleted chapters 1-10 and started over, determined that through my words, people (about 20 friends I estimated) could actually feel the darkness and shame associated with this secret epidemic that plagues children all over the world...every minute of everyday.
I wrote with passion and rage, reliving all my nightmares for 13 months, crying for the unprotected, hopeless little girl that was once...me! I wanted readers to feel what I felt--a place so dark and so hopeless that my best options were surviving the night.
So I pose the question...Was I too graphic? I'd love some feedback. Up front I will say, I don't apologize for how or what I've written...that train has left the station full speed ahead, but I'm curious about what you think...and feel.
Please, take a moment and let me hear from you.
~Taylor~
Then Penn State happened...Jerry Sandusky happened. The school, the fans, the country was outraged at the stance taken against the university. Interviews with the victims were censored. I was enraged! How could people not know that the damage inflicted by that monster is forever? How could the public not feel the desolation these children felt and still feel long after the abuse had stopped?
Then I realized why. Your imagination cannot fathom their reality...my reality! I deleted chapters 1-10 and started over, determined that through my words, people (about 20 friends I estimated) could actually feel the darkness and shame associated with this secret epidemic that plagues children all over the world...every minute of everyday.
I wrote with passion and rage, reliving all my nightmares for 13 months, crying for the unprotected, hopeless little girl that was once...me! I wanted readers to feel what I felt--a place so dark and so hopeless that my best options were surviving the night.
So I pose the question...Was I too graphic? I'd love some feedback. Up front I will say, I don't apologize for how or what I've written...that train has left the station full speed ahead, but I'm curious about what you think...and feel.
Please, take a moment and let me hear from you.
~Taylor~
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Parts of the book are graphic, as you warn the reader right up front, but too graphic? An emphatic NO. As someone who works with sexually abused children, I know the importance of letting people know just what goes on, what child abuse is really about. I am sure there will be some who will make excuses about why they bury their heads in the sand and only read nice things and only speak in euphemisms, but this book needed to be written as it was. Thank you for daring to be so candid.
No apology needed. Sometimes unpleasant subjects need to be talked about. This is one of them. What happened to you is/was graphic. You can't sugar-coat ABUSE...B
Taylor, you know my views but for others who may not have read any of my earlier comments or book review, I continue to say certain parts definitely took my breath away. However, that did not deter me from reading the book in its entirety. I am an avid proponent that one cannot begin this book to only stop because of its graphic content. It is real! It is not fantasy nor fabrication! I encourage everyone to take the time to read the reviews on your book.
Thanks for your insight Sharla...I've had some changes in my overall view since posting this question. I believe I had to go beyond the lock on the reader's imagination...it only allows you to go so far, then images and horrors are blocked, locked away, and the mind buffers and goes elsewhere. Blind denial perpetuates this epidemic.
Have I helped by telling my secret? Probably not...but it's out there.
Thank you for sharing...
Taylor
Have I helped by telling my secret? Probably not...but it's out there.
Thank you for sharing...
Taylor
Aidan Stone
You dead wrong Taylor! Your book has helped many confront their past, including me.
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Please do not think that any thing that you wrote about were 'too much' to be put down on paper. Abusers use the shame and hurt and the guilt heaped on the victim to keep them quiet. You HAD to put this down into words to get your experience out there. At the moment there is a lot in the media over here in the UK about a very well known celebrity (now dead) who used his fame and power to abuse many many children and got away with it. It is only now that he is dead that his victims have come forward and been believed and this so called saintly television celebrity / charity fundraiser has been exposed as the vile viscious peodophile he really was. One really telling fact about the case is that we are now hearing that it was almost an open secret within the tv / charity circles that he was doing this and no body ever did anything about it. One thing that comes across in that case time and again is the fact that his victims did not report him at the time for fear of not being believed and have there names dragged through the mud. It is so sad that nothing was done to stop this man whilst he was alive but at least now his victims have been believed and I hope that this has helped them even in only some small way. What you wrote about neede to be put in the public domain, even if only to make people more aware and give victims the courage to speak out about this vile abuse.
Just finished this book and grappled between 4.5 and 5 stars. The reason I grappled is that I found the graphic nature quite harrowing at times and I noted it triggered my own memories of abuse that impacted quite strongly. That being said, you clearly stated that your intention in writing was to convey the extreme damage done to a child who experiences abuse and you honoured that intent completely. Your writing encapsulated the experience completely both as it occurred and ongoing. It is important to have a voice in the public arena that does this for those who cannot. I really wanted to read more in regard to your recovery and ongoing life but I noted you have written a further book and are yet to see if this book covers that. I think you gave an honest and accurate portrayal. If you have not already I would love to read more of your journey in life? Looking forward to reading more from you that is for sure. Keep writing true to your intent as you can't satisfy all of the people all of the time.
Taylor Fulks
Oh Jenny...there's so much I want to say, and yet, I fear reproach.
You got it! You truly got the intent and the motivation behind this book.
When I sa ...more
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You got it! You truly got the intent and the motivation behind this book.
When I sa ...more
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Thanks Brian...
I second guess myself quite often when talking with people about my book or when I read a review that says, "I had to put it down...get away from it for a while. But then I would have to pick it up and read more."
I don't know that if given the chance, I would change it. I think not. It was my reality for 9 long years.
Taylor
I second guess myself quite often when talking with people about my book or when I read a review that says, "I had to put it down...get away from it for a while. But then I would have to pick it up and read more."
I don't know that if given the chance, I would change it. I think not. It was my reality for 9 long years.
Taylor
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