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The Rosie Project
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The Rosie Project by Graeme Simsion
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Mod
What do you think so far?
Hello! I saw your profile and link to the book club on a Reddit thread and am excited about joining the discussion. I love reading and finding new books but rarely have time. Hopefully, this group will motivate me to make time for one of my passions. Look forward to getting to know everyone. -Ray
Fifty pages in and their first date just concluded, I must say I was at first hesitant about this book but I am really enjoying it. A great example of how blind we can be when it comes to who we are! Rosie is a great character exactly what Don needs in his life. Opposites do attract!-Ray
Just finished, it was a great read! The characters were really interesting and it had a great ending. *Spoiler*
It is great that he was able to overcome the challenges that faced him and not let them stand in the way of his happiness. We can be our own worst enemies when it comes to being happy and getting what we want especially when we are so used to thinking or acting a certain way. Loved the story and the characters and really enjoyed the ending. I also saw he was or is working on a sequel and put out a film adaptation. Interesting!
-Ray
Mod
1. Do Don’s Asperger’s conditions help him or hinder him? Does Don’s having Autism offer any advantages in his life?
2. Do you agree with Don’s assessment that “humans often fail to see what is close to them and obvious to others”? (p. 88)
3. What do you think of Gene and Claudia’s relationship? Do you know anyone in an open marriage? Can it work?
4. As Don’s affection for Rosie grows, he becomes aware of his instincts overriding reason. What is the role of instinct versus reason when it comes to choosing a life partner?
5. Is it smart to have a list of criteria for a potential partner or is it limiting?
6. Do you feel happy for Don when he “eliminates a number of unconventional mannerisms” (p. 268) in order to win Rosie, or has he lost something?
7. Does Gene get his comeuppance?
8. Were you surprised at the ultimate revelation of Rosie’s biological father? Did you suspect someone else? (MAKE SURE TO MARK ANSWER AS SPOILER)
9. After his lecture on Aspergers, Don confronts Julie with what he considers her lack of understanding: earlier, she obliquely refereed to Aspergers as a "fault"—as in "[it's] something you're born with. It's nobody's fault." She also worries that the nickname "Aspies" will get "them thinking it's some sort of club." How do Don and Julie view Aspergers? Do you agree with Don's approach...or Julie's?
10. Follow-up to Question 12: Don comes to see that morality and ethics are nuanced. What brings him to this point? And is morality nuanced? Is there such a thing as a purely moral/ethical stance, as Don has, up to this point, always believed?
11. Don accuses Gene of being just like him. One would hardly consider Gene autistic, so what does Don mean? In what way are the two men similar?
12. SPOILER ALERT: Don comes to the realization that he loves Rosie. Does he? Is he capable of the same kind of love as those of us feel who are low on the autism spectrum? Don realizes he feels happiness with her...is that the same as love? Or is his concept of love—compatibility and pleasure in each other's company—a better basis for marriage than deep feelings? Will Don's love, or his idea of love, be satisfying for Rosie over the long haul? What do you think?
13. SPOILER ALERT: Follow up to Question 17: Don has autism. How would you rate the chances for a happy marriage between Don and Rosie? What problems might they encounter? Is the book's ending overly optimistic, too much like a fairytale? Or is the ending based on optimism tinged with realism?
14. Overall, talk about the changes that Rosie precipitates in Don? In some ways, this novel can be seen as an adult coming-of-age story. How does Don grow over the course of the novel...not just the changes in his appearance or social behavior but in his essentials?
Mod
We often view Aspergers or Autism as a major fault and disadvantage, but Don proves that that isn't necessarily so. Even before he meets Rosie he has a life that he's fairly happy with. He's not hindered by things like fear of humiliation or rejection, and he views social interactions in such a different way than the majority of people. Things that many people would view as a failure in a social interaction, Don views as a positive. For example: In New York at the World Trade Center, he's told that his asking technical questions took away some of the emotion of the moment. Don thinks of this as taking away some of the sadness. I wouldn't necessarily say that his Autism is a fault, nor would I say that it's an advantage. He's just Don.
3. What do you think of Gene and Claudia’s relationship? Do you know anyone in an open marriage? Can it work?
In some rare cases I suppose it could work, but Claudia clearly doesn't feel the same way as Gene about their relationship. For them it seems that it's not really an open marriage, but rather him having free reign to cheat as often as he likes. It doesn't seem that Claudia is enjoying the open relationship as much as Gene is.
5. Is it smart to have a list of criteria for a potential partner or is it limiting?
I think it could be limiting. Everyone has preferences for a partner, but if you're rigid in those preferences than you may miss out on someone who could be a great match.
Kenzie wrote: "1. Do Don’s Asperger’s conditions help him or hinder him? Does Don’s having Autism offer any advantages in his life? We often view Aspergers or Autism as a major fault and disadvantage, but Do..."
Kenzie,
1. Don makes you see that it's not about how the condition affects your life but how YOU much let it. If you view the various effects as a positive and make the most out of it, then it is. People would assume that the way Don acts is because of the autism when its liek you said he was just Don.
3. I am sure open marriage for certain people does work. You are right in pointing out that it's not the fact that the marriage is open that is causing problems but the fact that Claudia is not of the same mind anymore. Just like Don she has altered her way of thinking over the years and is no longer comfortable in the situation.
5. I agree with you on the list being limiting. Relationships are very much about compromise. It is just as much about finding middle ground on certain things as it is about finding those you can't live without. No one is perfect, and compatibility is more than metrics and things that can be quantified or measured.
Thanks for the questions, great idea!*Spoiler just to be safe*
6. I am very proud of Don for making the change ad I don't feel like he has lost anything at all. In fact, I would argue that what he has gained far outweighs anything that you may consider lost. He has learned that sometimes you have to get out of your way, and there are things worth changing for someone who you want to be with. Even he realises that the changes he has made are superficial and, in the long run, are inconsequential. He is still Don and will always be Don. A smile price to pay to find love.
8. I was quite surprised, when the idea that it could be gene was introduced, I thought for sure it was him. To find out that it had been her Dad the whole time I was pleasantly surprised. Although I feel I must have missed something not sure why one of the father candidates who swore he knew who her real father was but was sworn to secrecy would not just say. Perhaps the truth he thought he knew was not the truth at all?
11. To me, he is talking about not being able to see what is right in front of you. Gene does not see how unhappy Claudia is, and how close he is to losing his marriage.
-Ray
Don Tillman, professor of genetics, has never been on a second date. He is a man who can count all his friends on the fingers of one hand, whose lifelong difficulty with social rituals has convinced him that he is simply not wired for romance. So when an acquaintance informs him that he would make a “wonderful” husband, his first reaction is shock. Yet he must concede to the statistical probability that there is someone for everyone, and he embarks upon The Wife Project. In the orderly, evidence-based manner with which he approaches all things, Don sets out to find the perfect partner. She will be punctual and logical—most definitely not a barmaid, a smoker, a drinker, or a late-arriver.
Yet Rosie Jarman is all these things. She is also beguiling, fiery, intelligent—and on a quest of her own. She is looking for her biological father, a search that a certain DNA expert might be able to help her with. Don's Wife Project takes a back burner to the Father Project and an unlikely relationship blooms, forcing the scientifically minded geneticist to confront the spontaneous whirlwind that is Rosie—and the realization that love is not always what looks good on paper.
The Rosie Project is a moving and hilarious novel for anyone who has ever tenaciously gone after life or love in the face of overwhelming challenges.