Evan Burl discussion group discussion

I'd love to hear any tips you have for improving Evan Burl and the Falling. I'm planning on editing the new version which includes part one and two over the next few months and releasing it publicly this Summer. Thanks for your help!

so far i've only found a few things that might be grammatically wrong, but not very much. i've written down the loc # for them. For example, you had accidentally put to instead of too. Nothing major though. I've only just started though. When I'm done I'll probably send you an email with all of the places I've marked.

Great! Thanks for your help!

Darn, I saw a few also, but didn't think to write them down :( sigh.

Thanks for mentioning it Sally. I'm pushing out a new version with a bunch of mistakes corrected today. I hope I caught them all this time.

In chapter 29 which is five hours until the Falling, Evan says, "I still had twelve hours to save her and Pearl". It's in the midst of the scene where he's in the cage with Pearl and the boiling water is about to come pouring down on them.

Bridget wrote: "In chapter 29 which is five hours until the Falling, Evan says, "I still had twelve hours to save her and Pearl". It's in the midst of the scene where he's in the cage with Pearl and the boiling wa..."

Thanks for sharing this! Got it changed and updated.

Hiya,
I want to say first that I loved this book but it would benefit from a good editor and proofreader.
I did see one or two grammatical errors but I never think to keep note I'm afraid. Sorry.
I was wondering though, although I may be wrong as I was reading pretty quick, I was confused when Henri used the Vialus on Claires bracelet to escape. I thought Evan had taken Claire's bracelet and put it in his pockets with the other Rubrics, or did I read it wrong?
(sorry if I spelled incorrectly I'm too tired to go back and check the book)

Hey, thanks for the feedback! There is a bad version floating out there and I can't seem to nail it down. When and how did you get the book?

Smashwords via a read2review on the YA/NA Fanatics group, 6th April.

OK, Thanks! I'll keep your feedback on file. Thanks again!

Justin wrote: "Hey, thanks for the feedback! There is a bad version floating out there and I can't seem to nail it down. When and how did you get the book?"

I too read that ending and was a bit confused as well... I purchased my copy on Amazon yesterday.

And I might have just read it wrong, but I thought the way Claire was transported to the castle with Evan was because she broke her vialis (sp?) (the same one Anistasia later broke on her own bracelet)Did/do they have several vialis charms? And a clarification on the vialis charms... do they have predestined/set destinations or will they transport you to any destination you choose?

I do like the twist of how the first chapter you assume is Evan, but come the final chapter you realize its Henri...

On another note, there are quite too many different "fallings"
1-the girls that have fallen, are fallings
2-the Falling is Evans big Sapient change
3-the first and last chapter mention the falling, but per the end of the book, the falling Henri is talking about is just the transportation via the vialis

its all a bit confusing.

Immersednbooks (Kristen) wrote: "Justin wrote: "Hey, thanks for the feedback! There is a bad version floating out there and I can't seem to nail it down. When and how did you get the book?"

I too read that ending and was a bit co..."

Great feedback, I'm working on some stuff right now as I fly over the Colorado on my way to Orlando :)