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Surviving the Fourth Cycle
SURVIVING THE FOURTH CYCLE
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CHAPTER 10
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The Invisible fist of verbal abuse
"I spent my childhood doing my best to avoid my father. Sometimes I was so anxious and sleep-deprived, going to school was impossible. My mom would hide me under the cellar stairs until my dad went to his second-shift job.
She’d say, “There’s no telling what he’ll do if he finds out your home again!”
If I was too sick to go to school, he called me a pussy or a wimp. He called me things like that all the time, and his empty shark-like stare dared me to disagree with him.
He had a knack for staring and torturing me with his icy gaze until I inevitably burst into tears. That’s what he seemed to want …
“Told you …you’re a pussy.”
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“Other kids worried that the boogeyman caused the things that go bump in the night. I wondered if the noises I heard were my dad bludgeoning mommy with a hammer, or her gasping for air beneath his strangling hands.
These are the things I dreamed of, and the terror and exhaustion I suffered lead to my problems going to school, and planted the seeds for a lifetime of insomnia.”