Get to Know Nathan Daniels discussion

LETTER TO A MOLESTER
By Nathan C. Daniels

Just this once, you used to say, but that was just a lie.
You stole my innocence, and made your little brother cry.

Not just when you touched my skin… throughout my whole existence.
Nightmares! Flashbacks! Memories… pursued with great persistence.

You would bring me to the basement, in the quiet of the night.
I know you were a victim too. That doesn’t make it right.

It was wrong, our uncle touched you once —outside by grandma’s shed.
He shared a sickness with you, sis, and then you helped it spread!

It wasn’t good enough to touch… you made me touch you back!
You forced my face between your legs, while writhing on your back.

Once was traumatizing, but this would last throughout a year!
You filled a dwindling childhood with painful, shameful fear!

I’d go to school on Mondays with a wounded pubic bone.
Surrounded by a hundred kids… you made me feel alone!

A six-year old, should never feel the things you had me feeling.
It wasn’t just that year, you took —Decades you were stealing!

I did try, to forget it all, once that nightmare passed.
I’m glad I didn’t know back then, how long the pain would last.

You fucked my life up really bad —Without so much as trying.
I’ve cut myself! I’ve gone insane —I’ve envisioned myself dying!

From fear, to shame, to hatred, that I carried for too long…
To numbness, and insanity, before I could be strong!

For thirty years, I’ve struggled with insatiable confusion,
To finally, after all this time, achieve some restitution.
 
Now, that I’m no longer numb, and I have found relief…
Now, that I’ve survived abuse, and loss, and death, and grief…

I’m finally letting go of all the hate and shame you made!
I’ve learned to reach out, for a pen, a lot more than a blade.

I will never say I love you… and I cannot wish you well,
But, I released my hatred too, and now I’m free from Hell!

You molested me, big sister, and now I’m writing so you know…
My wounds have finally healed inside, but getting here was slow.

One more thing I want to share —It’s important, that you see…
The sickness that you tried to spread… I let it end with me!