The Humour Club discussion

I'm of the opinion that the Harry Potter books should have been the Draco Malfoy books. Think about it:

- Draco Malfoy is a much cooler name for a fantasy hero than Harry Potter, who sounds like a middle-aged odd-job man

- Draco has better hair (he looks like Elric of Melnibone)

- Harry wears those stupid glasses, which are the same glasses I wore as a kid (I hated them)

- Harry's friends are that stuck-up bint Hermione and that dumb git Ron Weasley; neither is cool

- Draco probably plays rock guitar at home and would look good in a leather jacket.

Anyone care to disagree?

I could see Draco as the star of one stand-alone book, but not a series. Once you've covered his unhealthy relationships with his smotherly mommy, his impossible-to-please father, and his fears that that thing he did with that counselor at Voldemort's Summer Wizard Camp for Boys may mean he's secretly gay...well, what else can you do with him?

Well, I personally don't want to do anything with him. But I see him as a sort of Flashman, and that was a successful series of books. I think you could get several novels out of him, starting with him as a little oik who tears the wings off baby dragons, and ending with him ousting Voldemort in a coup and taking his place. I've even got the first novel in the series: "Draco Malfoy and the Sorcerer's Wood", in which he tracks down the legendary mummified trouser-snake of Salazar Slytherin.

P.S. to the last comment: I seemed to have wood on the brain when I wrote this the other day. Sorry about this. What my shrink would say, if I had one, I dread to think.

P.P.S.: I'm going to concede this one to Melki. 'Tearing the wings off baby dragons' was a tactical mistake: no hero, even an anti-hero, can get away with that.

Sorry, Draco, it seems that after all you're doomed to be the villain.

I'm waiting to hear from Bookworm and Rebecca. They'll have opinions for sure, but both seem to be enjoying their summers at the moment. What's with these people? Don't they know there is nothing more important than sitting in front of the computer?

Jean and I would have liked to enjoy our summer today, but instead of sitting in the garden in the sun, we had to go to the hospital to see whether Jean's brain tumour has destroyed any more of her optic nerve.

Isn't life fun, ho ho.

Oh dear, Chris. I hope you at least got some good news.

And I just noticed your "subtitle" - cute! The sorting hat wanted nothing to do with your sort, eh?

Thanks. The news is indeterminate. She has to have a brain scan in August and further tests in October. On the face of it, though, it looks as if her dormant meningioma may no longer be dormant. If not, then that will mean brain surgery. She is not keen on the idea, and neither am I.

Yes, when I put the sorting hat on, it burst out laughing. Apparently that's never happened before.

Um, Draco as the star? No.

My main argument is the reading demographic. People who look like Draco do not read, or if they do, do not read Harry Potter esk books. Draco may look cool in a leather jacket, but, not in a leather jacket reading a book.
Your typical YA fantasy book reading is a dorky glasses wearing living in Mom's basement thirty year old computer programmer. They can relate to Harry better.

And nobody really knows how to say Draco's name...is it with a hard A and a soft O, or a soft A with a hard O. Dray-co or Drack-oh?

Well, first off, the Draco Malfoy books are clearly going to be graphic novels. The artwork will be dark and magnificent. Draco will be quasi-vampire, pale but brooding; he probably gets Hermione as his girlfriend early on, after which she starts to wear Goth makeup and looks more and more like Bellatrix Lestrange. Dorks will buy the series because they wish they were that cool, and cool guys will buy them because they'll think the books are about them.

How to say 'Draco'? Dude, all the cool guys know that. If you don't, then you're clearly a dork.