College Students! discussion

Every week I'm going to post a "Question of the Week"..(message me if you have any really great topics)..but anyways..I'll ask a question and leave it open for the week for everyone to answer, discuss, debate, etc. (I saw this on another website I belong to)

Questions will be both serious and trivial. And if a controversial question does come up..let's try and be civil :)

So for an easy one to hopefully get people participating:

What three things do you regret not learning to do?

Another fun one!

Hmm..I try not to regret too much in my life..but inevitably I do. I think I regret not learning how to learn guitar, learning how to drive a stick shift car, and learning how to sew when I had someone who was willing to teach me!

The nice thing about all three of those things is that I can definitely learn how to do them still in my life! :)

1) gymnastics. I'm pretty flexible, but I really wish I could do tumbling and stuff. That would be SO cool. I can almost do the splits, but really somersaults are about where I draw the line (I can't even do a chartwheel try as I might!)

2) piano. I took like one year of lessons b/c I was unable to continue taking violin lessons (long story about teachers moving and such) I can play easy stuff and I can pick out harder stuff but only with my right hand. I'm too undisciplined to actually learn.

3) swimming and diving. I can swim, but I wouldn't call myself a strong swimmer. I took lessons even, but I was just such a chicken about the deep end. I'll go in the deep end, but I gotta be kind near the wall. For some reason I can NOT tread water! I have tried and tried. My mom tried to teach me but I just can't get it. And diving, just b/c that's cool.

Lynn..I used to do gymnastics. One of the things I almost put was doing a back handspring. I was always too afraid to learn how to do it in fear of breaking my neck or something. I wish I could still do half the things i could do then! haha I would die if I tried to do a cartwheel now!

Mine are similar to yours Lynn.
1) Gymnastics. I did gymnastics when I was about 7, but only for about a year. I wish I'd done more, Jamie, I can't do a cartwheel either!
2) Piano. I took piano for two months before my mom pulled me out. I have no idea why she did, my dad had wanted me to continue with the lessons. I really wish I had learned. I'm so envious of my friends who can sit down whenever they want and just start playing.
3) Voice Lessons. I started taking voice lessons when I was 16, but I wish I'd started when I was younger. I can sing, but my voice isn't very strong. I'm getting better, but if I had just started when I was younger, I could be just that much better!

I always wanted to take voice lessons to!

1: Learning Spanish, I took French in high school and the last time I wanted to talk to someone in French was high school. However there have been many times I've wanted to talk to someone in Spanish but gotten stopped by the language barrier
2: Play guitar, I was dating a guy for a while who was a music major with emphasis on guitar and had offered to teach me but I was too self-conscience at the time.
3: Proper etiquette, I'm not a complete buffoon but I always feel like I'm gonna do something wrong at fancy restaurants, or accidentally insult someone by not sending a proper thank you or something. I know it is probably really out-dated but I really like the idea of it.

Like Jamie said though it isn't too late to learn.

1)Piano. I started to play the piano when I was about 12, but gave it up almost right away. Every time I see someone playing the piano, even in movies like The Pianist, I start regreting not being able to finish the lessons.
2)Swim. My family and I go up to the lake every year and since I don't know how to swim that well, I get left out of some activities.
3)Kickbox. Since I was a little girl I have wanted to learn who to kickbox since a lot of my family would do it but not professionally. Just seemed like a lot of fun to do.

I always wished I could spell better, maybe take a creative writting class

All of these things I used to do and really wish I would have stuck with them!!

1. ballet
2. piano
3. soccer
4. (sorry there is one more)- speak Spanish

I'm seeing alot of things on everyone else's lists that I am agreeing with! Soccer, ballet (I used to do tap and jazz), piano, etc. There was alot of things that I did when I was younger that I wish I would have stuck with.

i regret.....

1. learning to swim
2. learning to write and read russian: i can speak it and i understand what people say when they talk in russian.

I regret not learning to change a flat tire ( I needed this skill last month), not taking drawing classes, and not learning certain math skills but rather copying homework when i was in middle school/high school. haha

All the things I regret not learning to do I still plan on learning, but I'll say I regret not learning them already:

1. other languages (I love languages, and I have a talent for learning them, but I haven't taken it far enough to become conversationally fluent and I want to. Also, I forget them after a while from lack of use, so I need to fix that, too)

2. music (I'm not very musical, but I love the piano, guitar, and the cello, so I would have loved to learn one of those instruments, just for recreational use though. I really would have loved to get voice lessons when I was younger, but I grew up pretty poor, so it's all good)

3. I'm gonna have to go with Annashu on my third: etiquette. (Not just with my manners, but in how I relate to people. I'm REALLY bad about keeping touch with people and I am very self conscious, which hinders me from putting myself 'out there' so sometimes that makes it appear like I don't have good etiquette. I would've liked to have grown up learning proper etiquette, so that my manners and how I relate to people would be more automatic instead of something I struggle with.)

1. I REALLY regret never learning how to go to all my classes. I mean, I must have vaguely understood the mechanics of it because I had almost perfect attendance all throughout my primary and secondary education (I missed 5 days of school my whole life up until college). Now, I'm kind of a wreck at this. : / Maybe this ties into learning how to sleep like a normal human being?

2. I wish I learned how to skateboard. Longboard would be SO USEFUL when I'm running late for class. Also, girls who skateboard look so cool to me.

3. I wish I learned how to program. There are so many people hiring programmers right now! Ugh, would have been so useful.

I know that's not it. There has to be so much more, including the typical languages/instruments (French, more Korean, violin, real guitar) and maths (multivariable calculus would be a good start; physics... I really wished I had stronger math foundation so I could appreciate it better) and... breakdancing? YES. I wish I knew how to dance. But there are millions of these things... the listed are the first three that popped into my head because they've seemed the most urgent lately.

Nools, I completely agree with 1 & 2

NEW QUESTION OF THE WEEK:

What is the birth order in your family? Do you think it has an affect on your personality?

Hmm interesting question!

Mine is interesting because I also have 2 half sisters..one is older than me and one is younger. I've never really lived with them so I'm going to leave them out of my answer. So..I have a younger sister who is younger than me. She is almost 21. I do think it has an affect on my personality. I have always been the more responsible one and the more motherly one. My sister and I are night and day and I really think that alot of that comes from me being the older child.

I have one younger sister so I am the oldest. But my sister is only 13 months younger than me. I never remember a time without her. so I guess it's almost like twinship. We are totally different, but have some similarities. I think sometimes growing up, I was more stereotypically younger acting. I think b/c I want more attention than she does. But as I grow older, I do find that I'm more motherly and more of the protector/defender which I think comes from being the oldest. I think know-it-all also fits. haha.

I'm an only child so I guess that would explain why I hate having roommates at school! lol

I am an only child. There are psychological studies that have proven that birth order does have a statisticaly signitficant effect on personality. The only child or the first child is said to be more self-resposible and more likely to succeed. This might be due to the fact that more pressure or attention may be out on them since they are the only or the 1st born and thus might have more expectations to fulfill. So....I guess I fit this a bit because I feel as if I do have to fulfill an expectation and I am over reaching and filled with goals.
It is also interesting to note that even the FBI has offender profiling of a crime scene that denotes whether one is first born, or not. For example an organized crime (one that appears to have been planned out) is most likely profiled to be done by a person that is first born. Whereas a disorganized crime (one that is rash, unplanned and most likely done out of an emotional outburst) type casts the offender as not being 1st born but 2nd born, or 3rd.

I really like this topic by the way!

That is so interesting Silvia! I would love to study more about birth order. I also find it so interesting about the crime scene profiling. So interesting!

I have three brothers one is older (26) the others are younger (17 and 20) which makes me a middle child. I don't remember much of what birth order is supposed to predict but if our family it seems as though my older brother and myself had one sort of childhood and my two younger brothers had a completely different childhood. my brother and I grew up in Virginia and were mostly raised by our dad while mom went to school. Younger brothers were raised mostly in Oregon and our parents divroced shortly after youngest was born and mom got custody. The older in both sets usually needs to be around people and attaches to families where ever they go while the younger in the set is more self-reliant and comfortable alone. I would also like to add that I am not an only girl princess type.

well i was the only child until, my brother was born in march 7 2000.... he is now 9 now as in 2009... i was the first born so that makes something that i am not really sure of.....

Well I have two older step siblings but I have never lived with them so they don't really count.

I have one older full blooded sister who is 25, I am next (21) then I have a half brother who is 15 and a half sister who is 13. My half siblings live with my dad and I love them but don't see them as often. I very much feel like the youngest around my mom and sister and like it sometimes. My mom is the youngest, so her and I share that and sometimes spoils me for it haha. Around my half siblings I feel like the middle child a lot. I kind of blend into the background when I am with them. We're all very, very different though. It's actually kind of cool how different we are.

I have two sisters. One is older who is 21 and a younger one who is 16 that make me the middle child at 19. As the middle child I never got as much attention as my older and younger sisters did and that made me self dependent. I am also the one that does all the worrying. My sisters especially the youngest never worries about anything. On friday she got arrested for shop lifting and my older sister and I had to go get her out. The only worrying she did was about her boyfriend getting sent to jail because he was in porbation. My younger sister is the rebelious one, my older sister is the calm and nice one. As for me, I am the responsible one that can't help but worry all the time.

Do you all get along with your siblings? My sister and I who are the closest in age get along the least..and my sister who is 13..well we get along the best lol

I get along really well with my oldest and youngest brother. My middle brother and I have never gotten along.

I'm an only child. I was alone a lot growing up, both my parents worked full time. So I had to learn to be independent. I had a full time job with the government when I was 14, not because of necessity but because I wanted to earn my own money, instead of depending on my parents for everything. I also spent more time with people older than me, like my relatives. I was lucky enough that I spent a lot of time with Gramps, he was my best friend. I learned a lot from him.

I have a half sister (from my dad) who is three years older and I haven't really seen or talked to her in almost seven years. I have two younger brothers who will be 22 and 17 this year. The youngest one is my half brother (from my mom). So I get to be the oldest AND have a case of middle child syndrome.

NEW QUESTION OF THE WEEK:

Do you think controversial interrogation techniques should be used to get key intelligence from alleged terrorists? When, if at all, could it go too far?

Hmm..that is a really interesting question! My friends and I were just talking about this after watching 24. All throughout the seasons of 24..there is some crisis that is going on and there are people that know..and sometimes the only way Jack can get the information in time to stop this crisis is by interrogation..some is by means that are frowned upon. This last season dealt alot with Jack and these methods and if the ends justified the means sort of thing..if it was truly black and white or if there was a grey area..and another character at the end of the season began to explore that.

Anyways..I know it is a fake show..but we were talking alot about it actually. I don't know that I have a definite answer honestly. I was thinking about it in terms if there was an attack on somewhere near me that could kill everyone I love..if there was a person who knew but wouldn't tell..would I want them to be interrogated??? I couldn't come up with an answer. Because I feel like..everybody has a natural human right..but at the same time..does that person deserve that right when they decide to do something so awful against humanity? And then there is a line between the accepted forms and the "controversial" forms of interrogation..we need to have established guidelines so that chaos does not arise because people decide that the ends do justify the means.

ahh..i don't know..I rambled on alot..but it was such a good question..that I don't have an answer to. Funny that you asked that..as my friends and I were just discussing it. Were you watching 24??

hmm that is a really tough one. I'd have to say that torture should not be used. I have a temper and if I was in such a position I would DEFINITELY be tempted to do some controversial things. But I would probably be disgusted with myself later. I agree that we ought to treat each other with respect and dignity even if we are enemies. People are people no matter what.

Even when interrogating a suspect for murder most countries try to abide an ethical standpoint when doing interrogations. I don't see why that should be any different from "suspected" or "alleed" terrorists.
There is a reson behind this ethical interviewing approach.

In the UK since the 1970s there have been several big media cases where people actually falsely confessed to crimes. Literature shows that one of the main reasons for falsely confessing other than covering up for someone else is that people could not deal with the pressure of the interview and just confessed because they thought by confessing their interrogators would let up on them. Let me talk about 2 cases:

1. The case of Stefan Kiszko. He falsely admitted to the rape of a little girl and was put in jail in 1976. He was released in the 1990s after DNA technology came about and was able to prove him innocent. He said the reason for confessing was that the interrogation put too much pressure on him, made him confused and thought that he was able to go home if he confessed.
2. This applied to the main question. The Birmingham 6 was a group of suspects accused of several terrorist bombings in UK pubs. For confessed due to "pressure" and this resulted in imprisonment for all 6. Years later evidence also proved them to be innocent.

So after incidents such as those the UK has developed a PEACE model where interrogators need to assume a more ethical standpoint so as to try to avoid these types of false confessions. So to answer your question these harsh techniques should not be used because they could result in false confessions while the actual criminal might still be lurking in the real world.

P.S. An interesting fact to add: Stefan Kiszko was imprisoned for years from his false confession. He suffered from hypogonadism and was diagnosed with schizophrenia. He died 2 years after he was released from jail and was in his 30s!!! How sad is that!!!

I got all this from my Forensics class I just took..I actually had to write an essay on false confessions LOL Go figure!!!

that is so interesting Silvia!

Hmmm… tough question! Right off I'd say no, that sort of thing is wrong. But when I really start to think about it, I have to say that in some situations I may not think it was as bad. September 11th for example, if someone had crucial information and wouldn't reveal anything by simply asking them questions, I'd say that maybe a stronger technique needs to be used. But then if you look at what Silvia said it shows that using more force in interrogations doesn't really help.

p.s. I have an idea for a question of the week. :)

go ahead and message Molly..I'm sure she will be happy to hear your suggestion!

Yeah..Kimberly..go ahead and message me!

And Jamie..I definitely was watching 24..that inspired the question. Interesting answers everyone!

I forgot to post the new question of the week..so here it is! This was a great suggestion from Kimberly!

So let's have fun with it!

What was your best or worst date that you have been on?

The ONLY date I have ever been on was my senior year, with a junior from our rival school that I met at a party where I didn't know anyone but the people I arrived with (every highschool movie plot ever?).

I had already eaten, so I sat while he ate greek food at a bad resteraunt and we probably saw a really terrible movie. I think he kissed me the night we met, but we were making out in his truck when he dropped me off and he left his headlights on. They were shining right into my neighbor's house for, like, half an hour. Then we pretty much never spoke again.

PS: Our never speaking again had nothing to do with illuminating my neighbors living room or his making out abilities.

haha oh boy Justine! Did your neighbors say anything?

Hmm..I've been on some pretty bad dates before I started dating my boyfriend.


Probably the worst date for me though was for different reasons. Right before I started dating my boyfriend..I had been hanging out with 2 other guys. I was into this "casually dating thing"..you know..going out on dates with people but no commitment thing. I was having a hard time deciding which one I was really into and the one guy wanted to take me out on a date. It's sad because previously we had been really good friends but one of us always had a significant other..but finally it was supposed to work out! He was my dream guy I thought. However..by the time the date rolled around..I had been spending alot of time with my now boyfriend. SO..i wasn't too excited to go on this date because I was pretty sure I was really into this other guy. But I went on the date anyways. First off..I'm getting ready..and I hear someone yelling something outside my window and throwing something. It was like a half hour before he was supposed to be there. I look out the window and there he was..all sweaty and panting. Turns out..he had gotten locked out by one of the other guys in the apartment and didn't have keys or a phone. So he ran the 2-3 miles to my apartment to call a roommate. That was the ackward part. So..he got picked up and went back and got ready. Then..he picks me up..has flowers for me..and we go out to eat. We then go back to his apartment..and he had made this cd..and I forget the details..but he wanted to dance. haha..and I said no..it was just too awkward. (He was really really cute about all of it and all of his plans were romantic..but by this point I'm realizing we should just be friends..and all I keep thinking about was how I wanted to go hang out with Will (my now boyfriend). so..we then go to a movie..The Pursuit of Happiness.. the whole time I was thinking about Will and how I was going to hang out with him AFTER this date..lol..I sound horrible I know..but after this date..I just KNEW who I wanted. Then after the movie he wants to sit in the car and go smoke these really good cigars that our group of friends were obsessed with. I thought that was an odd thing to want to do on a date..with our group of friends it was fine but not on a date. lol. But the place was closed that he wanted to get the cigars from..so we talk in the car for a little while..and then I tell him that I'm really tired and want to go in.

I don't know what it was..probably a combination of me realizing who I want to be with and his thoughtful yet poorly executed ideas for a date. I didn't get it..this kid was never awkward..we had been friends for so long..and then this date was just weird..and he was a really cool guy..and really really cute..but I felt like he just was too nervous or something.

haha aw but he sounds so cute though! At least trying to do stuff you might enjoy! It does sound slightly awkward though! Sometime that transition is hard..but at least you ended up with the right person now!

My worst date..umm..how about the time I was out with this guy that I really really liked and I got a little too drunk beforehand and got sick in his car on the way home. I'm pretty sure HE would say that it was the worst date ever. For me, it was humiliating. We haven't spoken since. I somehow have managed to avoid him.

So my best friend thought it would be good to set me up with this guy..and I thought okay, okay Ill give it a try. Anyways this guy turned out to be dull as a cinder block and to top it off when he kissed me it was like swimming in an ocean...I was licked all over my face or something DISGUSTING!!! The words part was telling my best friend it just wasn't going to work!!! LOL!

Ugh, that is the worst!! Bad kissing = definite chemistry killer. On the plus side: it's not usually very hard to get a guy to learn how to kiss better :) if that's the only problem (which obviously wasn't the case for you)

I don't have too many date horror stories so I'll go with the best...

My current boyfriend and I went to a barn dance this past Halloween and after that we became a couple...and then the next Saturday he took me out to an Italian restaurant. We had red wine, delicious food, and were right by the fireplace--very romantic!

For a while in college I was a little wild and partied too much and would bring random guys from bars home with me. Well one morning the previous nights conquest wouldn't leave me alone until I agreed to see him for a real date. I was tired and hungover and just wanted to get back to sleep so I told him ok and made plans. A few days later this guy showed up at the door and my roommate was expecting someone so I go to get him and the guy is like "actually I'm here to see you, remember our date?" I had of course forgotten about it and I was in pj's so I got changed and went out with him. Turns out he really wasn't that interesting or even good looking and I spent most of the date trying to figure out why I had ever thought it was a good idea to bring him home in the first place.

NEW QUESTION OF THE WEEK:


What was your very first job?

I worked at a movie theater. It was horrible! I only lasted a month!

Einstein Bagels. I was fired for not being able to memorize the order the ingredients went on the sandwiches. There was a poster with that information right in front of the workstation, so I don't think it was crucial to have that information memorized.