Terminalcoffee discussion

Really stupid things you shouldn't do, ever!

From personal experience or observation add yours to the list. We'll start with -

1. Never lick chocolate fudge off a serrated steak knife.

Why would chocolate fudge be on a serrated steak knife?

Always with the whys.

Never let your 6 y old play with nail polish unattended

We are listing them, now?!

(I have done the serrated knife lick. It can be accomplished by turning the back edge to the inside of mouth, press lips down just before serrated edge and slide.)

Amelia wrote: "Why would chocolate fudge be on a serrated steak knife?"

Well, lets just say, "There was this picnic . . ".

I've cut myself several times because I wanted to know how sharp a new knife was.

janine wrote: "I've cut myself several times because I wanted to know how sharp a new knife was."

Test it on your fingernail. If you can glide it across your nail and remove a smooth shaving, the knife is plenty sharp. The good part is it will never make you bleed. The bad part is that it will remove any nail polish you have on that finger.

I'm pretty sure I can still make myself bleed that way.

Generally anything that cause you to shed your own blood is probably a candidate for this list.

Things that you think as you are just about to do it, 'maybe I shouldn't do this' just before the ouch or Oh d***! moment.

Or something that cause a huge mess. Like not using a power paint mixer correctly because the drill locked on full speed and just because you release the switch, it didn't turn off. That's the kind of thing.

Power tool mishaps (not major accidents involving reconstructive surgery) often are in this category.

Using household cleaning products incorrectly can also provide great humor.

O.K. if there's an emergency room visit involved and every body is O.K. and it has a bit of chuckle later it too is a candidate.

So let me add this one:

2. Hacksaws are not the item of choice to carve up a watermelon. (more camping/picnic fun!)

Never leave your Scentsy warmer where your cat can put her tail in it, soak up half of the melted wax, and then proceed to drip and/or smear it from one end of your house to the other...

Shave horizontally.

I think poop is easier to clean off, Lysol wipes...

OUCH!

Poop doesn't hurt, Aaron.

*pats Aaron's hand*

I thought she meant wiping herself with Lysol wipes....the windmills of my mind are full of cobwebs today.

*Pats Amelia's hand back*

Speaking of windmills, I'm thinking of doing a little tilting.

A Swiftly Tilting Planet.

I lurve that book.

You should never try to open a can without a can opener. Nor think that you can still accomplish said task with a screw driver, awl and knife. And stop immediately when you think "I am so going to cut myself trying to do this" as you are clearly Nostradamus.

Really? I would think that a screwdriver and a hammer would do the trick. Depends on how hungry I was and what else was available. I mean, if we're in a The Road kind of sitchiation (yes that was on purpose), I'll do what needs done to get to the pickled beets!

Well, I lacked the hammer at the time. This was back in the apartment. I can't remember why there was a need but I am sure I plunged onward from cocky determination that I could open it. That and the fact that I had drank several glasses of wine prior.

So, I managed to pry a gnarly looking edge up that had a wicked tooth to it. I then stuck the knife under flap and started to yank back. Things slipped and finger sliced open but we had baked beans that night, damn it.

(And I survived so all is well)

Beans & franks.

Frankenbeanies .

http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=vzRuKnb2...

Freakin' hilarious, Amelia. Such a funny film from start to finish.

I do love that bit. And, the gel. And, the dog resuscitation.

And the dog going after Ben Stiller. A riot.

I think I have a drinking problem. I just can't stay away from the tap.

My family's planning an intervention, I know they are. It's water rehab for this ol' boy.

I was going to click on Amelia's link, then noticed someone referenced Ben Stiller.

Link avoided.

Phil wrote: "I was going to click on Amelia's link, then noticed someone referenced Ben Stiller.

Link avoided."

Maybe that is one of those stupid things that one shouldn't do that you got right . . .

[No offense to Amelia, just the 'link' ]

Something about Mary, the bit where he gets his junk caught in his zipper. "Franks & Beans".

I am also not a Ben Stiller fan. Apart from Something and Reality Bites...though his character in that is also annoying. Zoolander was very nearly the worst movie I've ever seen, though I did not finish it...I can't imagine it got any better.

Any movie starring Will Ferrel is awful and unfunny.

Aaron wrote: "Any movie starring Will Ferrel is awful and unfunny."

Thank you! Finally some validation.

I liked Dodge Ball.

Susan wrote: "I liked Dodge Ball."

Me too!

We have good taste!

:)

I liked dodgeball. I also love Elf, but soon found that Will Farrell in general is NOT my gross cup of hairy tea. Anchorman was my horrible wake up call there. *cringes*

I liked Elf, too.

Oh, and Talladega Nights and Old School. That sums up my WF movie likes.

Tal

Oops.

Talladega Nights I did not like. Some bits were funny, but on the whole I did not. I can't really remember Old School.

I love everything about the ESPN bits! They might be my favorite part of the whole movie.

Pepper Brooks!

Amelia wrote: "Tal"

I figured "Tal" was just a "stupid thing you shouldn't do." Maybe someone you knew in school? Or met at a bar?

Never slide down a bannister that turns into a razor blade.

And stay out of the hallway with the conveyor belt and the rotating knives.

Misha wrote: "http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QqVqxW..."

I guess Tim Allen really, really needed a paycheck.

Hmmmm, I wonder what he did that he should never have done!

Misha wrote: "CD wrote: I guess Tim Allen really, really needed a paycheck.

To star in Galaxy Quest? I'm sure he was paid well since it was the heyday of his career, but it's also a terrific movie."

No, to do that scene and a few others I recall from GQ he must have just taken a deep breath and gone "remember the contract, remember the contract . . . ".

While on the movie topic one that I feel stands out in recent movies of "stupid things" is Hot Tub Time Machine!

It may become a cult classic, but for a first run movie, "Oh, the humanity!". And I paid good money to see it.

The title alone makes me assume it is stupid...

I thought the title was "Fuckin' Snakes on a Motherfuckin' Plane!"

Sharknado? I thought the title was "Anafuckingconda"!