Hey guys, I want to tell you about a book called "Bibles Be Trippin' : Holy Sh*t (no offense)". It's a satire. 10 short stories retelling the most popular "accounts" from the bible and it is hilarious. Cleverly modern, facetious and just an overall great read. Here's a link to read more about it http://www.amazon.com/Bibles-Be-Tripp... or coolstorybroad.com for the author page.
EXCERPT from chapter 1 - Adam & Eve
....and God saw that he was good. He decided that behind every strong man there should be a WOman, so using one of Adam's ribs he performed a suspect surgery, creating Eve. God told them that everything that he had created was theirs to grow and make flourish. There is just one thing you may never touch or eat from, he warned. "Do not eat the fruit from the Tree of Knowledge, the day do shall be the day you die." Not literally, Adam lived to be 930 years old, as if that's even possible. His immune system must have been solid as a rock. It was more like one of those threats where people say, "OR ELSE!" Or when someone says, "If you do that, I'm going to kill you!" In this case, it was if you eat from that tree you will NOT live forever! 930 years seems like a pretty long fucking time to be alive. In Adam and Eve's defense, why would God name it 'The Tree of Knowledge' and not expect Adam and Eve to be enticed? How about a little reverse psychology? 'The Tree of Death, Doom and Destruction' makes a little more sense. Was this all a grand scheme? If God is the master of our fate, all-powerful and all-knowing, is this just an arguably well-written dramedy? Why even have a tree? Anyway....
Chapter 3 SODOM & GOMORRAH
Now this is a story all about how two cities got flipped, turned upside down and I'd like to take a minute, just sit right there, I’ll tell you all about Sodom and Gomorrah being destroyed that year...
Chapter 5 BIRTH OF CHRIST
After about two years of going steady, Mary started to get a little thicker. Initially, Joseph liked her having the extra meat on her bones. As time progressed, however, she blew up like the Pillsbury Doughboy. It was not a good look. The two were in love and planned to spend the rest of their lives together in marital bliss but because they had never been intimate, Joseph feared Mary had slept with another guy and could be pregnant. That's that shit he don't like. She denied it vehemently. Jewish girls don't sleep around-allegedly. He desperately wanted to believe her but the only way he could be 100 percent sure was to take her on the Maury Povich show (A popular television series where paternity and lie-detector testing as well as shocking sex secrets are revealed).
BAD GIRLS is a great summer read! A story about the choices women face, family, a mystery and a little magic. Please visit my website www.deborahdoucette.weebly.com for information on BAD GIRLS (including a preview), previous non-fiction book, Huffington Post Blog and me. Well-written, fast-paced, you won't be disappointed! "Sometimes your head can't explain what your heart already knows." from BAD GIRLS
Deborah wrote: "BAD GIRLS is a great summer read! A story about the choices women face, family, a mystery and a little magic. Please visit my website www.deborahdoucette.weebly.com for information on BAD GIRLS (i..."
Thanks for posting! Will have to looking into Bad Girls!
EXCERPT from chapter 1 - Adam & Eve
....and God saw that he was good. He decided that behind every strong man there should be a WOman, so using one of Adam's ribs he performed a suspect surgery, creating Eve. God told them that everything that he had created was theirs to grow and make flourish. There is just one thing you may never touch or eat from, he warned.
"Do not eat the fruit from the Tree of Knowledge, the day do shall be the day you die."
Not literally, Adam lived to be 930 years old, as if that's even possible. His immune system must have been solid as a rock. It was more like one of those threats where people say, "OR ELSE!" Or when someone says, "If you do that, I'm going to kill you!" In this case, it was if you eat from that tree you will NOT live forever! 930 years seems like a pretty long fucking time to be alive.
In Adam and Eve's defense, why would God name it 'The Tree of Knowledge' and not expect Adam and Eve to be enticed? How about a little reverse psychology? 'The Tree of Death, Doom and Destruction' makes a little more sense. Was this all a grand scheme? If God is the master of our fate, all-powerful and all-knowing, is this just an arguably well-written dramedy? Why even have a tree?
Anyway....
Chapter 3 SODOM & GOMORRAH
Now this is a story all about how two cities got flipped, turned upside down and I'd like to take a minute, just sit right there, I’ll tell you all about Sodom and Gomorrah being destroyed that year...
Chapter 5 BIRTH OF CHRIST
After about two years of going steady, Mary started to get a little thicker. Initially, Joseph liked her having the extra meat on her bones. As time progressed, however, she blew up like the Pillsbury Doughboy. It was not a good look. The two were in love and planned to spend the rest of their lives together in marital bliss but because they had never been intimate, Joseph feared Mary had slept with another guy and could be pregnant. That's that shit he don't like. She denied it vehemently. Jewish girls don't sleep around-allegedly. He desperately wanted to believe her but the only way he could be 100 percent sure was to take her on the Maury Povich show (A popular television series where paternity and lie-detector testing as well as shocking sex secrets are revealed).
What do you think?
reply | edit | delete | flag *