Speaker Geeks! discussion

(So I think this belongs in this category? Anybody correct me if it goes somewhere else)

Straight women are usually expected to change their last name to their husbands' last names when getting married. How do you feel about this, and what should gay/lesbian married couples do if they were to fit into this?

I think they should be able to if they want to, but not be forced to

I think it should be a choice, basically. Either party should be able to change or not change their name, whatever the combination of sexes in the couple.

Wow, that was fast. Wasn't expecting people to comment already.

Yeah, I think so too.
I remember talking to one of my friends about this, and when I asked her why her brother was the only one who could pass the family name down, she looked at me like I was stupid and exclaimed, "Because I'm a girl!", as if that explained everything.

Agreed. People should be able to do whatever they want. The same applies for relationships that are not heterosexual. If someone has a really cool last name, why change it, simply because you are female?

Exactly. I'm a man, but I would take my wife's name if I got married. It's my choice.

As a guy I would not take my wife's name. I would prefer for my future wife to take my name too. Its been this way since ancient times, I don't really see a need for change.

Nobody should be forced to change their name though.

Agreed. I would take on my husband's name but in the end, it should be a decision between the two partners and neither one should be forced to change their last name if not comfortable with it.

I would definitely take my husband's name, but I wouldn't be "offended" or anything if someone chose not to do the same. A little...surprised maybe (for lack of a better word), but I wouldn't be angry or upset. I think the reason that someone might get upset over something like this is the fact that, like Billy said, it is tradition. "It's always been that way, so it should always be that way." And there's nothing wrong with being traditional whatsoever... I mean, (if you haven't already noticed :)) I've got some pretty traditional views myself, so I'm not bashing it or anything. I just think that the changing of one's last name shouldn't be a big issue...if you want to, great, but if not, whatever.

(I just rambled waaaaaaaaay longer than I intended. My apologies! :))

I personally am not and will not. Though I don't mind if someone decided to.

I'm all for my spouse to not change her name. I wouldn't mind we'd still love each other.

Some people don't want to change their name my cousins wife didn't her surname means about five things in its native language. Some people combine names I had a biology teacher who's first name was sue and she was going to marry a man called Mr Wedge. So she would become Sewage. She combined her name to have a double barrel surname.

Me I love my surname it's double barreled and we have a group of about six of us in my year. We call ourselves the double barrel club.

As for homosexual couples it is up to them. They can make a decision between themselves.

I don't think it matters, just whatever you want.

H99 wrote: "I'd like to bring this up... Why is it that some men who say that they would never take their wife's name say that it's because their name is a part of who they are? Isn't a woman's name a part of ..."

I don't really know. I wouldn't change my name unless it was to something amazing. I mean it as no disrespect but to me my surname is me. It made who I am. I understand that could be the same for my spouse but I wouldn't mind if she kept her name. We'd just make an awesome triple Barrel name for our kids.

H99 wrote: "Why does it matter to men anyway? If you changed your name, you would have to change all your IDS, EVERYTHING, and is it really worth it?


http://www.yourtango.com/questions/ma......"

Exactly!

If I ever get married I'll take her last name, if it'll make her happy and for the sake of change. (:

Som wrote: "If I ever get married I'll take her last name, if it'll make her happy and for the sake of change. (:"

That's sweet not many people feel that way!

I have a friend who's mum is an Artist she changed her name when she got married but kept her maiden name for her profession. So she signs all her paintings with her maiden name but keeps her husbands surname for personal details.

In my opinion, it should be up to the individuals to decide. I don't think it matters if a couple has the same last name or not. Neither person should be forced to change their name just because of tradition. Also, there's always the option to combine the names if that's what a couple wants.

So I was just wondering what you guys think about this: If a woman does not take the last name of her husband and vice versa, what last name should be given to the children?

I really think it's up to the couple. It just bothers me that a lot of people have assumed that because I haven't yet changed my last name to my husband's means I don't love him or it's because I'm a feminist as if that explains everything.

"You haven't changed your last name? How does your husband feel about that?" or "Do your feminist ways not allow you to take his last name?" Seriously? I do plan on changing my name, I just honestly haven't gotten around to it and it really doesn't bother my husband at all.

H99 wrote: "Melissa "Tickyette" wrote: "I really think it's up to the couple. It just bothers me that a lot of people have assumed that because I haven't yet changed my last name to my husband's means I don't ..."

I think it bothers some people because most prefer to have a "family name". If they dont...a husband's last name could be Mr. Jones, while the lady is Mrs. Smith. I would prefer if my family just had one name.